by Alison Stone
“Let’s get inside.” With a hand gently on the small of her back, Jake guided Rebecca across the uneven earth.
When they reached the house, Rebecca turned the handle and found the door locked. A look of concern creased her smooth forehead.
“I told them to lock it.”
Rebecca looked up at him with gratitude in her eyes. “Thank you for looking out for them. I shouldn’t have left them alone, but we were all worried about Buttercup in this storm...”
“They’re fine. Don’t beat yourself up.”
“It’s so dark out here. Anyone could be out there.” Her lips began to tremble. “We’re out here all alone. If something more serious had happened to me, who would have...”
Jake leaned in close and resisted the urge to kiss away the tears. “It’ll be okay. You have to trust in God.”
“I’ve done nothing but trust in God.” She plucked at her skirt again. “Look at me.”
Jake stared at the top of her bonnet, unsure of how to comfort her. He didn’t want to offend her by drawing her into his arms. He didn’t want to add to her inner turmoil.
“Are you ready to go in?” he whispered. He knew she wouldn’t want to upset the girls by appearing out of sorts.
Rebecca lifted her head and swiped at her cheeks, leaving more mud streaks. Jake felt a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. “You are a real mess.”
“I’m fine. It’s not unusual to get a little dirty working the farm.”
“In the rain,” he added.
“Exactly.” A bright light shone in her eyes. A slow smile crept across his face in response to hers. He had done that. He had brought Rebecca a small moment of happiness.
They locked gazes, and then she lifted her hand and knocked. From inside, he heard a fumbling as someone worked the lock. The door eased open and Katie’s curious gaze appeared in the crack. When she saw her mother, she pulled the door all the way open.
“Mem,” Katie said, her eyes drawn to her mother’s dirty clothes. “What happened to your dress?”
Rebecca waved her hand in dismissal. “I fell in the mud.” When Katie’s eyes opened wide, her mother reassured her. “I’m fine. Nothing a good scrub won’t get out.”
Katie stepped back and Grace ran up, wrapping her arms around her mother’s waist undeterred by the mud. “Don’t ever leave us.”
Jake read every sorrowful emotion playing out on Rebecca’s pretty face. Squaring her shoulders, she said, “Oh honey, I was checking on a few things and got caught in the rain.” She ran her hand down her daughter’s head. “You’re getting all muddy.” She took her daughter’s hands and held her at arm’s length. “I’m here. I’m your mem. I’m not going anywhere.”
Across the room, Katie stared at Jake with her little mouth set in a pout. Then her steely gaze landed on her mother. “You have dirt on your face.”
Rebecca lifted her hand to her cheek. “I know. I’ll have to clean up.”
“When is Samuel coming home? He should have been checking on Buttercup.”
Rebecca stepped back and Jake caught her arm to steady her, then quickly dropped his hand. Rebecca met Jake’s gaze.
“We’ll talk about this later,” Rebecca said to her daughter.
“Aenti Gloria said you sent my brother away because he was bad. Now with him gone things would be better.” The child sounded much older than her years.
Rebecca slowly sat down on the rocker, playing with the cold, wet, muddy folds of her skirt. “This is a very grown-up conversation. Your brother made some bad decisions. He didn’t follow the rules. We must pray that he finds his way.”
Katie’s lips twitched and she looked up at Jake. “He shouldn’t keep coming around here. It’s not right.”
Both he and Rebecca realized Katie had redirected her fear over her missing mother to disappointment over her brother’s absence. When that didn’t earn her any satisfaction, she channeled her anger toward Jake.
“I wanted to make sure your mom was okay,” Jake said.
Rebecca stood and opened the door. “And since I am, Professor Burke is heading home,” she said pointedly to Jake. “Thank you for stopping by, but my girls and I are fine.” Her eyes projected an apology.
Jake stepped closer to Rebecca and whispered, “Can we talk on the porch?”
Rebecca sighed heavily.
Without waiting for an answer, Jake slipped the quilt from the rack and draped it around her shoulders. “Please,” he whispered.
She seemed to take in the room, then stepped out on the porch with him.
She crossed her arms under the quilt. “What is it?”
“I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
Her eye twitched. “About Samuel?”
“Yes, just because he’s not here doesn’t make him innocent. He could have been working with the Yoder brothers. Or someone else. One of them might have thrown the tarp over you today.”
Rebecca bit her lower lip. “Call the sheriff. Tell him what happened here. Ask if he’ll check on the Yoders. Maybe one of them will...what would you say...crack? Can you do that for me?”
“Yes.” He touched her elbow and she stepped back as if it burned. “You need to be careful out here all alone with the girls.”
“This is my home.” She set her jaw. “And the more I think of it, you shouldn’t be here. It doesn’t help. I’m trying desperately to be a good influence on my girls. We need stability.”
Bowing his head, Jake ran a hand across the back of his neck. He hadn’t anticipated sharing his plans, but he needed to reach across the gap. “I’ve talked to Bishop Lapp.”
“About Samuel?” The indignation was evident in her tone. “I don’t need—”
“I talked to him about me,” he interrupted.
She looked up, curiosity lighting her brown eyes. “You?”
Jake leaned on the porch railing and crossed his arms. “I have never felt more at home than I do here. With you.”
Rebecca tugged the quilt closer around her neck. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m exploring being baptized into the Amish community.”
Her brows snapped together. “What? Why?” She leaned toward him, then stepped back, flattening herself against the siding of her house. “Is this all part of your research? For some paper?” Her eyes sparked with anger. “We are not...” She bowed her head and grew quiet.
He pushed off the railing and stood in front of her, careful not to make her feel trapped. “No, it’s not for a paper. It’s not for my job at the university... It’s for you.”
His heart pounded in his ears and her face went still. She took a step to the side and yanked open the door. She paused but didn’t turn around.
“Despite that fancy education, you have it all wrong about the Amish. All wrong.”
She stepped inside and closed the door. He heard the lock click.
* * *
“You look exhausted,” Flo said, screwing the silver top of the saltshaker back on after refilling it. She placed it in the rack next to the pepper, set it aside, then turned to give her full attention to Rebecca.
“I am. I couldn’t sleep.” Rebecca blinked her eyes a few times, trying to get rid of the gritty feeling. She grabbed the gray bin of clean silverware and placed it on the counter with a clatter.
Flo laid out a paper napkin and rolled a fork, spoon and steak knife in it. “No need to be lying awake at night. You did the best thing for Samuel right now.”
“I have faith Samuel will be okay.” Rebecca sounded bleak, unconvincing.
Flo rolled up another napkin with silverware and tossed it into the basket. The older woman tipped her head toward the large bin of silverware. “I’ve heard busy hands are the best antidote for a worried mind.” She arched a brow in amusement.
Rebecca felt her face grow warm. “I’m sorry—I’m distracted.” She scooped up a knife, fork and spoon, placed them on a napkin and started rolling. She hated bringing her worries to her friend, but sh
e felt lonely sometimes and she couldn’t get the conversation she had had with Jake yesterday out of her mind.
Jake was considering joining the Amish community.
“I have a feeling it’s not only Samuel who’s distracting you.” Flo never missed anything.
“Jake...” She lifted her eyes to meet Flo’s. The older woman nodded in understanding.
Rebecca held up her hand to stop her friend before she made a comment that would make her blush. “I have to tell you because you’re the only one I can trust not to judge me.”
Flo rested her hip against the counter and slipped her hands into her apron. “What is it, honey?”
“Jake told me he’s thinking about joining the Amish.”
Her pale eyebrows shot up. “Really?”
Rebecca nodded slowly, feeling the world close in on her. Heat gathered around her face and she tugged on the collar of her dress.
“Do people do that? I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an outsider joining the Amish community. I usually hear about the heartache when one of the Amish youth runs away.” Flo stood straighter, her eyes unfocused as if lost in thought. “Can people do that?”
“It’s highly unusual, but it has been done.”
A light came into Flo’s eyes and she lifted her hands and covered her mouth. “Oh dear, he’s doing it so he can be with you, isn’t he?”
Rebecca bowed her head and shook it. “He must make the decision on his own for reasons more than me.” Her mind flashed back to how comfortable Jake seemed working on the farm. His mention of feeling at peace. She pressed her lips together and sighed. “Neh, he can’t join the Amish community just because of me.”
With her index finger, Flo lifted Rebecca’s chin to force her to meet her gaze. “You are worth it. Don’t underestimate yourself.”
Rebecca shook her head again, this time more adamantly. “He should do it because he wants to embrace the Amish ways. No other reason.”
“Of course, of course,” Flo agreed, “but you would be a nice bonus.”
Rebecca was surprised to hear a giggle escape her lips. “You’re the best part of this job. I’m grateful for your friendship.”
Flo made a dramatic show of looking around the diner. “That’s high praise,” she said, her words dripping with sarcasm. Then her face grew serious and she pulled Rebecca’s hands into hers. “It’s time you found happiness.”
“It’s not the—”
“—Amish way,” Flo finished her sentence. “I truly don’t think God would mind if you found happiness.”
With Flo’s words swirling around her head, Rebecca picked up more silverware and set it down on the napkin.
Could she and Jake find happiness together?
The empty space inside her no longer seemed so empty. Dare she hope?
The jangling bell on the door signaled the arrival of a few customers coming in for an early breakfast.
“Have a seat wherever you’d like,” Flo hollered to them.
The older woman grabbed the coffee carafe. “I’ll get this table.”
“Thanks.” Rebecca’s gratitude was short-lived. The sheriff walked through the door with his keen focus solely on her.
Rebecca filled a mug with coffee. Black. Just how the sheriff liked it. He strolled over to the counter and slipped onto the stool in front of the mug. “Morning, Rebecca. Thanks for the coffee.”
“Morning, Sheriff Maxwell.”
He took a sip, studying her over the rim. “Have you recovered from last night?”
“I’m fine. No worse for the wear, I suppose. But it’ll take some work to get the mud out of my dress.” She smiled. “Did you have a chance to talk to the Yoder boys?” Butterflies flitted in her stomach as she waited for the sheriff’s response.
“Yeah. I met Jake at their house. Mr. Yoder assured us that both boys had been home all day doing chores on the farm. At the approximate time of the incident, Mrs. Yoder said the family was gathered for dinner.”
A sinking feeling weighed on Rebecca. “I see.”
“There’s always a chance they’re mistaken,” the sheriff said, setting his spoon on the napkin. A brown spot grew where he had placed it.
“Mr. And Mrs. Yoder are good people. I don’t believe they’d lie.” Outside the window, the weather was dark and dreary, like her mood.
Flo brushed past her and pinned her order to the wheel above the window leading into the kitchen. “Morning, Sheriff Maxwell. Hungry for some breakfast? Pancakes?”
The sheriff took another sip of his coffee, then pushed away from the counter and stood. “No, thanks. I have to get on the road.”
He turned to Rebecca. “Contact me if you need anything. Please.” She must have been wearing a look of concern because the sheriff paused. “Hannah would want you to reach out. To me. To her. She loves you and doesn’t want anything to happen to you.”
“Thank you.” Rebecca slowly blinked. “Have a good day, Sheriff.”
Flo picked up a small stack of plastic menus and pressed them into Rebecca’s hands. “Next table’s yours.”
“Thanks.” Rebecca started to walk away when she heard Flo mumble.
“Professor Burke would look great in suspenders and a straw hat.”
Rebecca whirled around and playfully whacked her friend with a menu. “Shush.”
“You shush.” Flo reached out and squeezed Rebecca’s hand. “It’s time things turned around for you.”
* * *
“Go ahead, I’ll lock up,” Rebecca said to Flo at the end of their shift a few days later. She had sent her girls to stay overnight at Mark and Gloria’s house. Even though Rebecca hated to have her daughters away at night, she knew playing with their cousins afforded a wonderful distraction. They needed a stable home environment.
Jake’s conversation came to mind again. The girls could use a father in their lives. A loving father.
Neh, neh, neh. If Jake decided to become Amish, it had to be for the right reasons.
“No, no, I’ll stay and help.” Flo dumped the remainder of the coffee down the drain.
“Go.” Rebecca scooted in next to her, took the carafe from her hand and set it on the counter. She’d wash it in a minute. “I know you wanted to get home to watch your TV program. Go.”
“Ah, you say that like it’s a bad thing.” Flo tilted her head and gave Rebecca a sad smile. Rebecca didn’t know how to respond anymore. It seemed lately everyone watched her with an air of pity. At least when the tourists came to town in full force next summer, she could go back to playing her stereotypical Amish role. She could at least meet someone’s expectations.
Met real-live Amish woman. Check.
“Are your girls staying with their aunt and uncle again tonight?”
Rebecca wiped the counter down. “Yah.” Even though she hated to admit it, she felt safer knowing they were with Mark and his family. Until she cleared Samuel’s name and found out who was growing marijuana on her farm, things wouldn’t feel safe there.
She scrubbed the carafe a little more vigorously than necessary, trying to hold back her emotions.
Flo gestured with her chin toward the last table. “Want me to tell him it’s time to pack it in?” she asked in a protective tone. “I don’t know why those college kids have to hog our tables to do their schoolwork when there’s a perfectly good library on campus, right?”
Rebecca shrugged. She had only been on the local campus once, and after being attacked she didn’t plan on going back anytime soon.
“The customer’s fine. I’ll give him a few more minutes while I clean up.”
“As long as you’re sure.”
Rebecca watched her friend remove her apron, drape it over her arm and slip out the front door, the bells clacking on the glass.
Rebecca organized things to make startup easier for the first shift. She glanced up and the young man was still sitting there, his back to her, she supposed, to gain a better view out the window.
She flicked off a fe
w lights, figuring he’d take a hint without her having to ask him to leave. Confrontation had never been her strong suit. She tidied up a few more things, then peeked into the dining room through the service window. The young man was no longer sitting in the corner booth. A hint of relief swept through her. Problem solved.
Rebecca strode to the front door and turned the key in the lock. She paused a minute and stared over the darkened street. Her haunted expression stared back at her. Would her life ever calm down? Would she ever find the peace she once enjoyed living on an Amish farm? Before she’d married Willard. She longed for it, but she knew she had to be humble and trust in God’s plan.
She set the keys on the edge of the counter when she realized she’d forgotten to empty the orange-handled decaf carafe sitting on the warmer in the far corner.
A scraping sound—the sound of someone dragging keys across the counter—made her swing around. Her heart stopped at the strange expression on the young man’s face.
“Hello, Mrs. Fisher.”
“Hello...Tommy.” Jake’s assistant. Her gaze dropped to the keys in his hand. Her keys. “I didn’t realize you were still here.” She lifted a shaky hand to the corner booth. “I didn’t realize that was you in the booth.”
“I was in the little boy’s room.”
She held her hand out for her keys. “I’ll let you out.”
Tommy pressed the keys between his palms and pulled them close to his chest. “You want me to leave?” His mocking tone sent terror racing through her veins.
“Um, yes...” She drew her elbows in close to her sides. It’s Tommy. Jake’s assistant. He’s harmless. Dread tightened like a band around her lungs. “We’re closed for the night,” she said, a little more forcefully.
Tommy pivoted to look out the front window, then turned back to her, a brazen expression on his face. “Shame. I have more studying to do.”
“Where are your books?”
He gestured with his head toward a backpack resting on the floor near a booth.
“I’m sorry. The diner is closed.” Rebecca clasped her hands in front of her as she struggled to rein in her frantic emotions. Something was off.
“I know.” Tommy made no effort to move toward the front door. “I’m not ready to leave.” He tossed the keys from one hand to the other; each time they landed in his hand with a loud jangle of metal.