by Natavia
I paced back and forth. “Yo, you foul ass bitch! How the fuck you are going to fuck one of my mans while you carrying my seed?” I asked.
“I’m sorry,” she cried holding her lip while blood seeped through her fingers. She tried hugging me and I almost felt sorry for her, but I was hurt. I might have ignored her for two weeks, but that didn’t give her ass no right to fuck one of my niggas. I pushed her off me and she tried hugging me again. I choked her against the wall. Her feet were damn near off the floor.
“I fucking love you, shorty! All I ask from you was to stop hustling. You want to know why I have been away. It’s because you lied to me! You told me you stopped! I found your fucking trap phone!” I tightened my grip. “All I wanted was to have a family with you. I might have fucked a few bitches, but I fucked them with my dick only. I make love to you, Teyana. I gave you my heart like you asked and what do you do? Fuck my sister’s husband! I was even thinking about marrying your ass, but you ain’t shit! Nothing, but a fucking whore! I always thought I would be the only man to ever touch you! You are not even pure to me anymore. I can smell another nigga on you right now!”
She started clawing at my face and hands, tears of anger flowed down my face. Out of all the fucked up shit I did in my twenty years, karma had finally come back to bite me in my ass. I loved the fuck out of this woman, but all she did was give me her ass to kiss time and time again. She started going limp, so I dropped her limp body on the floor. She gasped for air. For a split second, I was hoping I killed her ass.
“Why shorty?” my voice trembled. More tears threatened to fall from my eyes. I never wanted her to know that she was my weakness, but deep down I knew that she knows.
“I don’t know, baby! If I can take it all back, I would! I was drunk and I thought he was you. I don’t even remember doing anything with him. All I know is that I woke up on top of him naked.” She burst into tears still trying to catch her breath.
“I’m gone! When that baby is born, I want a fucking DNA test! I mean that shit! I don’t even want your hood rat ass calling me. If you do it better be life or death. You want to parade around this bitch like you not about to be a mother go ahead, but if that baby come out with any problems because you want to do all this extra shit, I’m killing your ass! You know me, Teyana; I don’t just talk shit. You want to act like a nigga I’m going to treat your ass like one. You better be lucky if I don’t rob your dirty ass the next time I see you out!”
I left her ass on the floor with snot running down her nose and a bloody lip. That was another reason I had to stay away from her. I had to lay hands on her twice and I had never ever hit a woman before. Jack them up that’s about it, but twice I had to smack that silly broad.
Tee-Tee
I had been in bed for the past two days with the same clothes I had on a few nights before. My sweater still had blood on it from when he split my lip. I knew Jamie was going to run her mouth, but I wasn’t mad at her. Corey was her brother and after all I did sleep with Ashaun. I was disgusted with the person I had become, the drinking, popping pills, and the partying. I was about to be someone’s mother in four months and I was carrying on like a whore.
When I came in the other night, I had just left Mook’s hotel room. That was his cologne Corey smelled on me. Mook was a local rapper. I had gone to one of his many concerts to support his mixtapes. We started chatting. Then I started drinking and next thing I knew, I was headed to his room. All I remembered was him bending me over the sink. I cried even thinking about it. Corey was supposed to be the only man to enter my body.
Cam had been calling me for the past few days nonstop. Everything Cam said to me the last time I seen her was becoming reality. I had lost the only person I had ever been in love with. All I had to do was chill the hell out, but now I was alone. I couldn’t talk to anyone because I was too embarrassed.
I guess I had to go through this alone, but I brought this mess on myself. The sadness in his eyes had been keeping me awake the past few nights. It haunted me. I hurt him more than he ever could hurt me. Corey had changed over the months we’d been together. He came home early every night, bitches had stopped calling his phone and he finally had opened up to me. I couldn’t believe I crushed his world when I was the one who always thought he would crush mine’s first. The tears started falling again and I started to sob loudly. I hated myself and if I didn’t have a child growing inside me I think I would have just ended it.
I had no energy to get up. I was dead you may as well say. I had a doctor’s appointment in a few hours to find out the sex of the baby. I dragged myself into the bathroom. The image in the mirror almost scared the fuck out of me. I looked like I could have been an extra in the show “The Walking Dead”.
I took a thirty-minute hot shower trying to wash all my pain away, but I would need a miracle for that to happen. After I was finished, I rubbed mousse through my short cut. It curled right up. I actually thought it looked cuter that way. I put on a velour forest green sweat suit by BEBE. I slid my feet into a brown pair of Uggs, I accessorized it with oversized gold diamond hoop earrings. I hated makeup, but I put some on to cover up my bags, and natural color lipstick to hide my bruised lip. I looked cute, but I still felt like Ceily from “The Color Purple”. I didn’t wear heavy coats, so I tied a thick brown scarf around my neck and wore my brown leather jacket. I left out to prepare for my first doctor’s visit alone.
When I pulled up, Corey was standing outside of his Navigator. Damn, he looked good to me. His dreads were in four cornrolls going straight back. He had on a pair of dark Spurr jeans with a Victorinox Swiss Army sweater. On his feet was a pair of brown Dior Homme leather hightop sneakers. We had on the same colors.
He looked at his Presidential Rolex and shook his head. “Damn, you late, but I forgot you don’t give a fuck about our baby!”
I almost forgot how rude he could be once you get on his bad side.
“Lucky to see you here! DNA test my ass!”
“Yada! Yada! I’m here aren’t I?” he snapped back as we walked into the office.
I went to the receptionist desk to check-in for my appointment. Corey went and found a seat. Once I was done, I sat down across the room from him. I was so pissed at him, but more pissed at myself. Things could have been so different. The nurse called my name and we headed to and exam room in the back. I was told to sit on the exam table and the doctor would be in shortly. A few minutes later, there was a light tap on the door followed by Dr. Lee.
“So, how are you feeling, Ms. Dickerson?” Dr. Lee asked while rubbing that cold ass gel on my small pouch. I didn’t look over three months pregnant. Maybe it was the alcohol and pills I was doing. I prayed that my baby didn’t come out fucked up. I would never forgive myself.
“I’m fine, just mood swings, and certain cravings that’s all,” I tried cracking a smile.
“So, mom and dad are you ready to find out what you are having?” she asked. We answered, “yes” at the same time.
“Well, her legs are wide open and it’s clear to see that it’s a girl!” Dr. Lee said excitedly.
“You here that shit, Teyana? We are having a girl!” he said smartly. I needed to get out of here before I ended up cussing his rude ass out. He took the sonogram pictures and walked out. He didn’t even give me one.
Once the doctor was finished, I made my next appointment and headed to my car. Corey was waiting outside as I walked towards the sidewalk.
“I hope like hell your manly ass do right by our daughter. The doctor talking about her legs were wide open. I guess it was with all that dick your slut ass been taking in, but you will get your shit together! Two niggas can’t raise a little girl!” he snapped.
“Leave me the fuck alone!” I cried. I could no longer take the verbal abuse. “You only showed up to patronize me! I fucking get it okay! I’m fucking sorry! What else do you want me to do?” I cried.
“I can’t deal with this shit today!” He walked away from me. I ran to his drive
r’s side door to block him from leaving. Fuck all the pride I had at first, I needed my man back. He towered over me. I reached up to grab his face and he couldn’t even look at me.
“Baby, I need you!” I sobbed. His eyes watered and then he looked away from me.
“Why can’t you look at me? We need you! Please don’t do this shit to me! I can’t do this alone, Corey!” I begged.
He pried my hands from his face. “You’ve done too much shit! I’m fucking tired of you! I can’t trust your sneaky ass! Do you think I like how we ended up? Think about me for once! You think my fucking feelings not hurting? It’s always about you!”
I just hugged him as hard as I could and he stiffened up. Damn, I miss the smell of his Cartier cologne. I wanted him back so bad that I was losing my mind. “Come back home! Please just come back! Let me show you I can change!” I pleaded. I guess I was starting to get to him because he pushed me off of him.
“I can’t shorty, I just can’t! All this begging is not even you! Just take your pregnant ass home and relax for once.” He got into his truck and peeled off.
*****
I flopped down on the couch then stared at the wall. I’m shocked that I even had any tears left. My heart was broken. It hurt more than a gunshot wound. I laid down and did what I did best, cried myself to sleep.
When I woke up, there were a pair of bloodshot, red eyes staring back at me. Corey was sitting on the Hasek. I almost pissed myself because he looked like he wanted to kill me.
“One minute I love you and I just want to hold you then I start hating you. I even think about just killing you and getting it over with! I don’t like the hold you got on me, Teyana! Why the fuck you doing this shit to me?
I straddled him. “I love you that’s all I know! I need you and just give me a chance, so I can show you!”
I kissed him with everything I had in me. Surprisingly, he kissed me back. Moments later, our clothes were thrown across the room. I ran my hands down his dark, smooth muscled arms. It had been a minute since I touched his bare skin. He kissed my neck then my chin while squeezing my ass with his strong hands. He laid me down. His erection pressed against my clit. He sucked my hardened nipples while squeezing my breast gently. I hadn’t had any good piping since the last time we had sex and I couldn’t wait any longer. He glided inside of me. I was dripping like a lion in heat. He kept still for a while. I know he missed it just as much as I missed him.
I slowly thrust my hips into him as he placed soft kisses on my neck and collarbone. His fingers were intertwined with mine as we made love. He made love to me like it was his last time and it must of was because when I woke up he was gone. We were finally over.
Jamie
I knew it wasn’t my place to tell Corey, but that was my brother. I wished someone would have warned me about Ashaun’s sneaky ass when he was fucking Tyran. Ashaun didn’t know that I’d told my brother yet. Corey might be a pain in my ass, but I would never want him to experience what I had been through.
Valentine’s Day was approaching and my husband and I were going out of town to visit his parents in North Carolina. Me, Cam, and a few stylists from my shop were going to club “Spades.” Rick Ross was performing tonight.
I was rocking a long, black, wool jersey dress by Brunello Cucinelli that hugged all of my curves. On my feet was a pair of Fendi winter tale raccoon fur and suede ankle boots. My hair was parted down the middle with deep waves that fell past my shoulders. The only make-up I wore was eyeliner, mascara, and wine colored lipstick.
I was putting a few things in my black crocodile skinned Nancy Gonzalez bag when Ashaun walked in. “Fuck you going?” he asked taking off his Timbs.
“I’m going out with Cam and a few friends to “Spades” remember?” I asked.
“Girl, you going to make me murder something tonight! Turn around for daddy and let me see how that ass is sitting up!” I giggled, and then did a little catwalk for my husband. I was relieved that our marriage didn’t end. We were having our big wedding at the end of the year. We were just on vacation when we got married in Vegas.
“You are getting a little thicker. You sure you’re not pregnant?” he asked me.
I was recommended to a different doctor. He told me there was a thirty percent chance of me carrying a child full term, but that would consist of bed rest and no stress. Picture that shit.
“Yeah right, bae!” I waved him off.
“Seriously, you missed your period this month. Your ass spreading and your titties have gotten bigger. The way we have been fucking it’s possible. Yo ass stay craving the dick.”
Could it be possible? As soon as the thought came it went. I was not ready to have a baby and I gave up the hope of being able to carry one. Being pregnant was not on my mind right now.
I got into my 2014 white, with a black strip going down the middle, Rolls Royce Phantom. I knew my husband was doing the damn thing, but damn! I was riding around in a half a million-dollar car. When a nigga dropped bread on you like that his ass was just sorry for fucking up. He knew that shit hurt when he told me about fucking Tee-Tee. I couldn’t lie and say it didn’t bother me because sometimes it did. The first time he cheated he had a baby. Second time he cheated on me with someone close to the family, my baby brother’s baby momma at that. These hoe ass niggas didn’t have no chill these days. Then they wondered why females didn’t appreciate shit, but I still loved them both. I honestly believed Tee-Tee was not in the right frame of mind.
I pulled up in front of Cam’s house and blew the horn. She came strutting out.
“Okay bitch, I see you! Got the Phantom out! You really trying to make these hoes mad aren’t you?” she laughed.
Cam was rocking a red leather jacket, a black leather tennis skirt, and on her feet were some bad ass black and red, snakeskin, Giuseppe Zanotti pumps. Both sides of her hair were shaved into a wild curly blonde Mohawk. Her black lipstick and cat eyes with eyeliner gave her a punk rock lip that she pulled off well. Cam might have been a thick girl, but she was bad and anyone could see that.
“Bitch, you know I gotta stunt out on these hoes to make them wish they were me, and mad that they can’t be!” I laughed.
“So who’s meeting us there?” She asked checking her phone.
“Raja, Tataliscious, Liyah, and Quayla,” I responded. Quayla was Killa’s girlfriend surprisingly, because he wasn’t shit but a man whore. It was not my idea for her to come, but since all the nigga’s hung together, they wanted the girls to bond also.
“Oh, Lawd! You know it’s going to be some shit with them and you better hope like hell Liyah don’t say shit to me! Your ass better be on good behavior too, because we both know how you are with Killa’s girlfriends,” she stated.
I brushed what she said off because the past was the past.
“Turn that down, your brother is calling me,” she said answering her phone. I rolled my eyes then turned the radio down.
“I have on a skirt, Royal! Damn… No, it’s not short… I don’t know what time I’ll be home…Ok, love you too, bye!” She hung up. “Girl, your brother is a pain in the ass! Talking about he needs to approve of what I wear before I go out. His jealous, fine, sexy chocolate ass needs to remember that I am single!” She fanned herself.
I was happy Cam didn’t take his ass back right away. He had no business fucking Honey’s nasty ass. They were back to square one and that was just dating. He put Cam up in a mini mansion because she refused to move in with him. He didn’t like the fact that Koran started to pop up at her condo. Royal’s paranoid ass had all of Cam’s shit moved out when she came home from work. She damn near had a heart attack until Royal gave her the keys to her new crib. He had me furnish and decorate it for her. It was an early Valentine’s Day gift. I told you when a man fuck up he was coming out of his pockets!
“You are going to make me puke!” I joked. She waved me off. “You talked to Tee-Tee lately?” I asked Cam.
“Yeah, she’s okay just holding her head
up. Corey still ain’t coming around. He even stopped going to her prenatal appointments, so I have been going with her,” Cam admitted.
“I’ve been trying to call her, but she never answers the phone,” I stated.
“She’s just embarrassed, Jamie. She’ll come around. She really didn’t mean to hurt you. Tee-Tee would never knowingly do something like that; she was out of character. You know how it is when people take those damn Mollies and shit. Ashaun was vulnerable too since you stabbed his ass earlier that day. They needed consoling and they just took things a little too far, but I’m not going to turn my back on her because it seems like the only person she has right now is me.”
“I know what you saying, but she shouldn’t act like that towards me. She could at least woman the fuck up and talk to me. The deed is already done! She is carrying my niece and no woman should go through pregnancy alone. I know I told my brother, but he is and will always be my brother! He makes me sick sometimes, but I’ll be damn if someone betrays him and I not do shit about it. She needed to understand that! I could have been on my ratchet shit and took that shit out in the streets! You have to give me my props because I’m handling the shit better than what I would have imagined.”
She sucked her teeth. “Yeah, but you should’ve just kept your damn mouth shut!” Cam snapped.
“Can you fucking imagine how it feels for someone to eat at your family’s dinner table then turn around and fuck your husband or homeboy? I wasn’t keeping shit shut! Bottom fucking line! I don’t hate them though because hate eats away at your soul until you have nothing left. I don’t want to be this young, bitter bitch!” All of the sudden the tears started flowing. I had to pull over. Cam hugged me tight while I cried on her shoulder. After a few minutes, I patted my eyes then got myself together.
“My bitch bad, looking like a bag of money
That bitch looking like a bag of money
I go and get it and I let her count it for me
I fuck her good and she always count it to me