“Deal.” He brushed back a dark piece of his hair that fell across his forehead, and I had the sudden urge to do it for him.
My eyes dropped to his lips, and out of the blue, I imagined kissing him. My eyes shot to his as I attempted to get a grip on whatever leftover teenage sentiments were pumping through me.
The emotions zipping around were crazy intense, and the way he was looking at me told me he felt it too.
He leaned closer, and my heart immediately sprang to life.
Was he about to kiss me?
“Ready to get snowshoeing?” he whispered, and my heart tumbled to the floor.
“You have no idea.” I clapped my hands, pretending the energy running between us was nothing more than a figment of our imaginations.
“Oh, I think I do, Brooke.” His eyes shifted to my lips. “I think I do.”
Chapter Four
I let out a groan. “You’re going to get me into trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?” He looked on with considerable interest. His gaze darkened, and I realized that Kyle now knew far more than he did so many years ago.
“The kind of trouble that we’re both all too familiar with.” I crossed my arms over my chest and drew in a breath. “So let’s stay on track and stick to safe topics.”
He wasn’t good for my heart. That was one of the few things I could be sure of.
His lip lifted on the corner, but his tempting expression retreated only slightly.
“So what’s it like working for the Harlens?” he asked, following my suggestion.
Considering Aunt Hildie was responsible for this encounter, she was going to be in big trouble when I got back to the farm.
“Amazing.” I followed him into the family room and finished getting dressed for the great outdoors. “Getting to work on Hildie’s lavender farm is the most meaningful job I could ever ask for.”
We walked onto the porch, and I bent over and began tightening up the snowshoes.
“And you oversee manufacturing and production of their lavender products, right?”
I stood back up and my brow arched slightly. “You’ve done your homework.”
“I’ve been doing my homework for a long time. The moment has never been right before.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of his statement so I pressed on. “The job can be demanding during our busy season, but I just love being a part of something so beautiful.”
“You always loved being outside.”
“Still do. Did you read Aunt Hildie’s book? It changed my life.”
“I did.” He nodded. “Her ability to weave life lessons through her own grief and loss was enlightening and helped so many. Myself included.” He didn’t offer an explanation before continuing. “Ready for our hike?”
He picked up a backpack and looped it over his shoulders.
I nodded and followed his tracks toward the woods behind the cabin. A muffled silence from the recent snow surrounded us as we began making our way over a knoll and toward a creek I had no idea snaked through the property.
“That’s so beautiful,” I gushed, seeing the blanket of snow folding over the creek banks. “I wish I brought my camera.”
“I have my phone if you want to use the camera.” He stopped and turned around, waiting for me to wander over.
“You wouldn’t mind?” I asked.
“Of course, not.” He slid his phone out of his coat pocket and handed it to me with the camera turned on. “It gives me a reason to get your phone number.”
I flashed a suspicious look in his direction but still took the phone and began snapping away. “I love how the ice crystals cling to the branches.”
“It’s beautiful.” He leaned next to me, and I fully recognized the strong emotions running through me. I still liked everything about Kyle North, and the attraction pulling me to him was intense.
“Do you see that tunnel?” He pointed across the creek. “That’s the entrance to Mr. and Mrs. Beavers’ residence.”
I laughed and turned around, catching the glint in his eyes. “Still naming wildlife after famous creatures?”
But before I realized what was happening I became off-balance, falling toward the icy water.
Kyle’s arms wrapped around my waist, and he sharply tugged me backward. We tumbled to the ground, and I was breathing hard from a combination of adrenaline and being back in his arms. They were bigger, stronger, and he didn’t let go.
He just held on.
“I still have your phone.” I kicked out my legs, shaking the snow off my snowshoes.
“I wasn’t worried about it,” he said softly, his mouth next to my neck. “Just wanted to keep you dry.”
His hug lessened slightly, so I climbed off, dusting the ice crystals from my snow pants, and pretended being so close to him had zero affect on me.
I felt a drop on my cheek and looked up toward the cloudy grey sky.
“Did you feel that?” I felt another raindrop and sent myself the photos.
He glanced toward the creek as he stood up and dusted himself off.
“It’s starting to rain.” He pointed behind me. “We’ll circle around that way. There’s a little hill, but it will take us directly to your cabin.”
“Sounds good to me. Guess winter really is ending.” I handed him the phone.
Kyle nodded and slid it in his pocket while I followed his directions and took off for the warm, dry cabin. I needed a few seconds away from him to get my bearings.
“This is a beautiful piece of property,” I hollered over my shoulder. “I can see why you love it here.”
“It’s like my own piece of paradise. Wait until you see it in the summer when all the wildflowers are blooming.” His words made my chest tighten. I highly doubted I’d be coming back.
“I bet it’s beautiful.”
“It is.”
His footsteps crunched behind me, and I wanted nothing more than to get inside and eat something.
“We were inseparable,” Kyle said so softly I almost didn’t catch it between my heavy breaths and our footsteps crunching underneath us.
A couple seconds passed and I decided to answer.
“We were. Right until the end.”
I only wished I knew it was going to be the end when the summer came to a close, so I didn’t have all the built-up expectations and hope that only a teenage girl could be filled with.
“But I’ve learned to love the unpredictable messiness of life.” I stopped in my tracks and took a few deep breaths. It was a lot easier to snowshoe in silence. “I mean you can’t get hurt unless there was joy to experience before, right?” I wiped my nose with the back of my glove. “There’s no need for redemption if perfection exists, and perfection isn’t what makes life interesting. Perfection is overrated, so really, redemption is the heartbeat of life.”
I turned around to see Kyle catching up, which gave me a little time to rest. With this little snow hike, I learned the more I talked, the faster I walked, and with the rain coming down, the snow was extremely heavy.
Kyle stopped about two feet away from me. He didn’t seem winded in the slightest, but he was going a lot slower than me.
His eyes connected with mine, and I saw a flash of regret, or maybe shame, flicker through his gaze.
“You want people to stumble so they redeem themselves?” His brow arched.
“I don’t want people to stumble. I’ve just noticed most do at some point, and if a misstep happens, I like to see them persevere.”
“Do you think people deserve second chances?” he asked. His expression changed to something I didn’t recognize. He adjusted his black knit cap as he waited for an answer.
“I think people deserve as many chances in life as it takes to get things right. Do I believe the same people might be hanging around after the third or fifth chance, cheering them on?” I laughed. “Probably not. What about you? Do you think people deserve second chances?”
“Depends on the crime, I guess
.”
I laughed. “I suppose that’s true. I wasn’t really thinking in criminal terms, though.”
“Redemption is nice in principle.” He shook his head. “But I’m not sure life is always that simple.”
He took a few steps forward, making new tracks so he could stand next to me, and brought in a deep breath. “You know what I loved about you?”
“Couldn’t begin to guess.”
“I loved how one second you were as tough as any of the guys we hung out with, but when no one else was around you’d cry while we were watching An American Tail, and you made me watch it a lot, yet the tears never lessened.” He smiled. “Or whenever Somewhere Out There came on the radio. That was another tear jerker for you.”
I pushed my lips into a frown. “You know too many secrets about me to keep you around.”
“You know it’s true. You loved that movie. You’re a compassionate person, Brooke. Always were.”
“First, how could you not love that movie, and second, why wouldn’t I be compassionate toward people? If I were perfect. . . well, I guess I’d be walking on that body of water behind us, but we should get inside. It’s really coming down now.”
He nodded, staying silent, as I felt completely conflicted with how our lives would intersect in the future. With each step forward, I became less sure of myself, which wasn’t a feeling I was used to.
The sharp cold clung to my bones as we made our way down the knoll to my cabin, and by the time I reached the porch, I was sopping wet. I leaned over quickly and unstrapped myself out of the snowshoes.
Kyle kept his on.
“You can come in if you want.” I smiled and saw relief flash through his gaze. “Just no funny business.”
“Do I look like the kind of guy who’d—”
“Stop while you’re ahead,” I teased, stripping out of my drenched snow clothes to reveal my yoga pants and sweatshirt. I went to hang the soggy garments on the hooks in the bathroom.
Once I got into the family room, the tip of my nose stung from the temperature difference, and I immediately darted for the fireplace.
“You’ve redeemed yourself,” Kyle announced, standing in front of me. “You’re still the adventuresome Brooke I remember.”
“See? Isn’t redemption a wonderful thing? Snowshoeing is nothing. Jump out of a plane with me and then get impressed.”
Kyle laughed, but he looked like he wanted to say something else, and I prayed he wouldn’t.
A quiet sense of determination settled between us.
He was determined to tell me why he never came back to Colorado.
Or wrote me.
Or called me.
While I was determined not to hear any of it.
Not yet anyway.
He walked over to the kitchen and poured us each a cup of coffee, but he didn’t move.
His eyes stayed on me as I stood in front of the fireplace debating how much more of memory lane I could take, and my answer was not much.
I slowly drifted my way to the kitchen and took a seat on one of the stools.
“I never meant to hurt—” he began.
“No, siree.” I shook my head and held up my finger to shush him. “Today has been too perfect.”
“That’s not the reaction I expected.” He rocked back on his feet and took a sip of stale coffee.
“What did you think was going to happen?” I was truly curious.
“I thought you might want to know why I didn’t come back to Colorado. Why I didn’t answer your letters.”
I drew a breath and took a sip of the lukewarm coffee. “Does it matter?” I shook my head. “The outcome can’t be changed.”
“It matters to me.” His eyes stayed on mine.
“It was all a long time ago, Kyle. I’ve moved on. I’ve had other relationships. I’ve lost other relationships, but we’re like two strangers meeting now.”
“We’ll never be strangers.” He shook his head. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel what’s happening between us. It’s like we never spent years apart.”
“But it is precisely like that.” I propped my elbow on the counter and rested my head in my palm. “Attraction doesn’t mean I’m willing to go down that road again.”
He set his coffee cup down. “I don’t buy it. You’re curious by nature. You’re the one who’d climb over a rocky ledge just to see what was on the other side.”
“Maybe that was because I knew you’d be there to save me. I’m not that foolish anymore. Like I said, it was a long time ago. No big deal. Look, you can tell me some other time when we’ve both had a few drinks, and we’re reminiscing, but right now I’m still in shock that I’m sitting in front of you.”
“Don’t you think if you really moved on, you wouldn’t be afraid to hear what I have to say?”
“I’m not afraid, Kyle. I just know it really doesn’t matter. It won’t change how we move forward.”
“You’re sure about that?” He folded his arms over his chest and his gaze locked on mine.
“I’m sure about that.”
Chapter Five
Night had fallen and Kyle had long since left. Outside, the snow was washing away and I was debating leaving early. I wasn’t into pity parties, but I was feeling completely numb and absolutely exhausted, which was probably why I should stay put until at least morning after I’d had a good night’s sleep.
Although, I wasn’t sure a good night’s rest was what I could look forward to with the looping thoughts lapping around my brain. I’d had to rewind the episode I was watching three times, and I finally gave up and looked out the window only to see the faint glow of the porch light with steely darkness beyond.
For the first time since arriving, I felt completely isolated, lonely, and unsure about most everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.
I think what frustrated me was that Kyle knew me better than I wanted him to. Years had separated us. He should have gone on with his life, never thinking about me, or caring if I showed up in his life again.
But that wasn’t the impression I got from him at all, and while I felt one hundred percent certain he’d feel better after telling me why he never came back to Colorado, I wasn’t sure I would feel any better.
It wouldn’t change the past.
After Kyle, I did the most cliché thing possible. I said yes to the first guy who asked me out in high school. Sex stopped meaning something, and it turned into something fun with no strings attached—all in the hopes it would take the pain away.
It never did.
And I hated that Kyle zeroed in on the real reason I liked my job planning luxurious ski adventures in Vail. It was a pure-party job.
No attachment necessary.
If I gave much thought to Kyle North, my mind spun into a reckless world of self-doubt and unhappiness so I didn’t give him much thought. There was a constant turn of attractive men at the resort, and none of them wanted more, which was perfect since I didn’t have more to give.
But it got old, tiring, and depressing. I’d fallen for every type, only to push them out the door the second it was over, so when Aunt Hildie offered me the job on Hound Island, I jumped at the chance to leave it all behind and start again.
So… I resented Kyle North for knowing so much about me after only spending twenty-four hours with the adult version of Brooke Sahler. I disliked that he saw through my tough exterior and still wanted to find out more.
I didn’t want to tell him more. I didn’t want to face how screwed up I’d let my love life get all over a boy from when, as he put it, “we were kids”.
In fact, I was so irritated that I stomped over to the phone and dialed the number that he’d left for emergencies.
He picked it up in less than a ring.
“Have another cling wrap crisis or did you upgrade to tinfoil?” His voice sounded genuinely curious and then I heard it.
A woman’s voice.
And I felt absolutely gutted for no reason. I wa
s the one who chased him away. He was a single, attractive man, who was allowed to do what he wanted, when he wanted.
“Do you have someone over?” I asked, feeling my throat clench.
I never should have called.
“Would that be a problem?”
A twinge of regret stabbed me in my belly.
“No,” I stumbled over the word. “I just didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You still can’t lie very well, either, Sahler.” Kyle’s voice was as smooth and confident as ever. As if the conversation from earlier was nothing more than a day in the life of Kyle. “So, seriously… What’s up?”
My heart hammered uncontrollably in my chest.
“Nothing. I just thought if you weren’t busy maybe we could start over, but it sounds like you’ve got plans for the rest of the evening so never mind. We can catch up another time.”
He let out a complicated sigh, and I regretted my decision to call him. What did I really think I’d gain anyway?
A friendship?
Doubtful.
A one-night stand?
More likely.
“You’re asking a lot from me, Sahler.” He let a few seconds of silence sit between us. ”But… I’ll put Wynona Ryder on pause and be there in a minute.”
As his words sank in, I cursed myself for opening my mouth. I’d revealed far too much with that one simple question.
I showed I cared.
He had me exactly where he wanted me, and I wasn’t even sure where that was, or if I wanted to be there.
“Are you sure she won’t mind?” I asked flatly, feeling completely foolish. An emotion I’d spent my adulthood running from.
“Pretty certain she’ll be okay with it as long as I give her extra attention tomorrow.” He hung up the phone not waiting for a response from me, and my stomach fluttered.
Maybe a one-night stand wouldn’t be so bad.
Or maybe it would be so bad I wouldn’t have to think twice about him.
The image of Kyle North slammed into me—broad shoulders, muscular build, strong hands, dark hair, blue eyes. I clenched my eyes shut and shook the picture right out of my head.
Irresistible Love at Silver Falls (Island County Series Book 7) Page 4