“But see?” I scooted closer to him. “Friends don’t make friends feel like this.”
“That’s not true, Brooke.” He flashed a wickedly delicious smile. “If memory serves me right, this is precisely how we felt last time.”
“But we were young and—”
“In love.” Kyle traced his thumb along my bottom lip as his lids became heavy with desire. “But it’s your call.”
“I don’t want to make your life messy, Kyle.”
“My life has been messy.” He smiled. “I like it that way.”
I slid back, trying to keep my bearings. “I’ve had the kind of relationships that leave no hard feelings because emotion wasn’t ever a part of it.”
“I don’t believe that for a second, but I respect whatever you want.” His expression was tinged with sadness and my heart ached. “I just wish I wasn’t the one who did that to you.”
“You didn’t.” I shook my head.
I’d hardly give him credit.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to give the friendship a chance with Kyle, but being around him made me feel off-kilter, and I worried I wouldn’t be able to set boundaries I could stick to.
Not to mention, it wasn’t only Kyle I had to think about. He had a daughter, and I didn’t want to suddenly pop up in his life only to leave because that was how I operated. They both deserved better than that.
“I’ve been selfish over the last decade and a half.” He looked over the water.
“I’d hardly call it selfish.” I shook my head.
“You know what I mean. I’ve been in control of how and when I told my story, and it was a story that involved more than just me. It involved you. I understand if you need time to absorb and move through all the emotions. I’m not foolish enough to believe hearing I have a daughter is easy.”
“It’s not about that at all.” I combed my fingers through my hair and let out a sigh. “I don’t want to do anything that would make her life difficult. I don’t want to involve myself in your lives and then not be there.”
“I respect that.” He nodded.
“I’m not the same Brooke you remember from eons ago. I’m complicated, messy, and full of contradictions.”
“That’s exactly the Brooke I remember,” he said, laughing.
I smacked him softly “But now I have adult-sized complexes.”
“You do.” He nodded in agreement and held up his large hands in front of me. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to let these work their magic on them? Imagine what experienced hands like these would feel like…”
“So you heard it all.” I crossed my arms in front of me.
“Every last word.” He winked and stood. “Which tells me I have a shot, but I’ll give you the time you need. No more dropping in on Hound Island to check on you. No more secret rendezvous planned by Aunt Hildie. I’ll give you all the space you need. You know where to find me.” He bent over, and my heart rate surged, hoping for a kiss that resembled the one a week ago.
I closed my eyes and pressed my hand against his cheek just as he planted a kiss on my forehead.
“Your move, Sahler.”
I blinked my eyes open to see him wave as he took off, leaving me absolutely breathless.
Chapter Fourteen
True to his word, I hadn’t heard from Kyle for over two weeks. The farm was in full swing, bustling with tourists, weddings, and plenty of planting and harvesting, so when I got a voicemail from Brent, a guy I’d briefly dated years ago in Colorado, telling me he was coming to visit the farm, I wanted to jump off the cliff.
He was not my cup of tea.
Over the years, the casual affairs sometimes turned to equally casual friendships, and this was one of those instances. We’d corresponded off and on over the years, and once I moved to Hound Island I offered the obligatory feel free to visit invite.
I never expected him to take me up on it.
No one ever did.
“Why do you look like you’re about to kill anyone who gets in your way?” Chance asked, chuckling.
My cousins couldn’t help their charming ways, and unfortunately, neither could Kyle, which made it impossible to get him out of my mind. Instead of growing farther away from Kyle these last couple of weeks, I spent my time daydreaming about him.
I shoved a box full of lavender soaps onto a shelf and let out a grunt.
“A guy I dated is coming to Hound Island to visit.” I rolled my eyes. “His name is Brent.”
“Well, won’t he enjoy himself when he gets here.” Chance leaned against a workbench, folding his arms across his chest. “Try not to overwhelm him all at once with your hospitality.” Chance grabbed a cup and filled it with coffee. “What made him think of coming here?”
“You know how you casually tell people to stop by if they’re ever in town, knowing they never will be?”
Chance laughed and shook his head. “Only my cousin would befriend the universe.”
“And only the universe would kick your cousin right in the chops.” I grinned and wandered over to the coffee pot. I needed more caffeine this morning than the first two cups offered.
“So how’s it going with Kyle?” Chance asked.
“How did he tell you it was going?” My brow arched.
“Believe it or not, you’re not the only topic of our conversations.” He smirked.
“I believe it.” I took a sip of the coffee and forced the bitter substance down. It had been sitting around a little too long, but it would do. “But I also know how you and Jake work, so why don’t you tell me from Kyle’s point of view how it’s going?”
“And betray male code?”
Knowing now what I did about my doting, older cousins made my heart squeeze with love for them. I was certainly lucky, even if he was suddenly worried about guy code.
“I think you crossed that boundary when you and Jake attacked him in college.”
A flicker of amusement darted through Chance’s gaze. “We just wanted him to know it wasn’t okay to treat our cousin that way. You don’t just—” he stopped himself when Aunt Hildie came bustling in with two lavender wreaths.
“Two prototypes. What do you think?” She placed them on the worktable and took a step back, admiring her work, which was undeniably beautiful.
The wreath to her left had burlap ties swirled through the dried lavender with a matching sash at the bottom; while the other wreath was brightly colored with a mix of dried flowers and tiny magenta bows dotting the arrangement.
“I think they’re perfect.” I wandered over, relieved for the diversion. “Burlap anything always sells quickly and the magenta is perfect for spring and summer.”
“My thoughts exactly.” She picked the wreaths back up and hung them on two hooks at the end of the table. “Do you think the girls would mind starting on these this afternoon?”
“I’m sure they’d love a break from packaging soap.” I grinned and Hildie nodded in agreement.
We’d recently hired a group of high school girls to help with packaging, making wreaths, and pouring candles. It was a fun after school job for them, and I knew Aunt Hildie enjoyed their company.
“So what did I interrupt?” Aunt Hildie caught Chance’s gaze.
“I was just asking Brooke how things were going with Kyle.”
Aunt Hildie let out an exasperated sigh. “You know precisely how things are going. He calls you nightly.” She glanced at me. “They’re not going well.”
My stomach tensed. I had no idea Kyle cared enough to be pestering my cousins that frequently.
I shot Chance a dirty look and clarified my side of things. “I wouldn’t say they’re not going well. They’re just not going at all.”
“Which by Kyle’s account is not going well.” Aunt Hildie narrowed her eyes on me. “So you’re not interested? It’s okay if you’re not. People’s tastes change over the years. Although, when it comes to first loves I’m not sure I’ve seen that, but—”
“You guys are
relentless.” I set my empty coffee cup on the counter. “Believe me, I’m still very interested in Kyle. What’s not to like?”
Chance rolled his eyes and Aunt Hildie chuckled.
“Then, what’s the problem?” Aunt Hildie looked genuinely befuddled.
“I’ve never had a serious relationship.” I twisted my lips into an unintentional scowl. “Well, at the time I thought some were serious, but after the fact, I realized there was nothing but red flags pointing out the relationships were far from serious.”
“And what does that have to do with Kyle?” She adjusted a couple of magenta bows on the hanging wreath and stepped back, dusting her hands off.
“He’s got a daughter. I don’t want to lead him down a path that I’m not cut out for and create a mess for him and his family.” I felt my cheeks redden. “Besides, I’m not sure I like the idea of being tied down to one guy.”
“Is that why Bart is coming to visit?” Chance shot an evil grin in my direction.
“Bart? Who’s Bart?” Aunt Hildie spun around to look at me.
“His name is not Bart. It’s Brent and he’s some guy I used to date years ago,” I informed my aunt.
“If you dated him years ago, why is he coming to visit now?” Her brows furrowed.
“I’m not sure. We’ve kept in touch over the years, but we’re nothing more than platonic, and I certainly never tell him anything personal. When I moved, I mentioned how much I loved Hound and if he’s ever in the area—”
“No one is ever in the area.” My aunt shook her head.
“Exactly!” I groaned. “Anyway, I guess he’s doing a whole Pacific Northwest thing so he’ll be stopping by Hound next Saturday.”
“Isn’t that the date of the charity event?” Chance asked, and I smacked my forehead in frustration.
“Oh, no. You’re right.” I gritted my teeth. “I guess I’ll have to bring him along.”
“If meeting wild raccoons and three-legged fishers don’t scare him off then I don’t know what would. Maybe it was a subconscious thing on your end.” Chance nodded, his eyes twinkling. “Maybe I’ll invite Kyle to the charity event. I know he’s really generous and isn’t there some kind of auction going on?”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Knowing my son, he would.” My aunt chuckled but shook her head. “If this isn’t meant to be, it’s not meant to be between Kyle and Brooke.” Her tone turned serious. “If you’re worried about stepping into a role with his daughter or fearing that his daughter might not like you—”
I hadn’t even thought that far ahead.
“My thinking isn’t even that complex.” I grimaced. “I just don’t want to get to know her and then the thing blows up with her dad and…”
“So, he didn’t tell her what prompted this?” My aunt caught Chance’s gaze and he shrugged.
“Guess not.”
“What prompted what?” I asked, feeling on edge.
Chance slid easily onto the workbench, his legs dangling over the edge. “Kyle’s been very careful about what he does while raising his daughter.”
“I’m sure he’s an amazing dad.” I nodded, feeling an odd sensation creep through me. I’d fully grasped that Kyle was a father, but there was something more that settled deep into my bones. Something I didn’t even want to admit to.
“Better than amazing,” Chance continued. “His daughter worships him, but it’s because of his daughter that he thought about trying to rekindle a friendship.”
I glanced at Hildie and she nodded as if she knew all about what Chance was talking about.
“I kind of thought Kyle would have told you.” Chance drove his fingers into his hair and let out a gust of air between his lips.
“Told me what?”
“His daughter found a stack of letters he’d written to you when he got sent off to that school. He was never allowed to mail them and I guess he just kept them. Abigail was up snooping in his attic and she found them and read them.” Chance pressed his lips into a thin line.
I blushed hoping there wasn’t anything too personal in them.
“Abigail’s a smart girl. Wise beyond her age,” Hildie added.
“You’ve met her?” My eyes shot to my aunt’s and she nodded.
“I’ve stayed at his property. Rented several cabins for one of the meditation retreats I hosted. His daughter happened to be there.”
I nodded, feeling my mouth turn to sandpaper.
“She’s worried about her dad. Her mom has someone she adores, but she worries about her dad when she goes off to college. She doesn’t want to leave him alone. When she found the letters, she asked her dad about them.” Hildie smiled, her gaze softening. “About you.”
I drew a breath in.
“I don’t know what was said, but after the discussion, he decided it was time to at least reach out to you. It just so happened to coincide with your girls’ weekend.” Hildie chuckled. “I never guessed your girls would all bail on you, however. I might be pushy when it comes to love, but I’m not cruel.”
The tension slowly started to run out of my system. Maybe I really was worrying about things prematurely. I glanced at Chance who seemed to be watching me carefully.
Too carefully.
“Don’t go reporting back to Kyle.”
Chance smiled. “I have nothing to report.”
He hopped off the workbench just as the high schoolers pushed through the doors with fits of giggles.
The perfect distraction.
They all stopped in their tracks when they saw Chance. Even their giggles stopped. I suppose at that age, my cousin looked like the perfect crush. It wasn’t a title he enjoyed so he quickly scooted by the group and out the door.
Hildie held in a laugh as I instructed the girls to come over for the tutorial.
By the time the girls had a good handle on assembling the wreaths, it was time for me to leave. I had to be at the Wildlife Center in less than half an hour. We were going to be going over all the last minute details for the upcoming auction.
When I climbed in my car, I decided to text Kyle a quick hello and that I’d been thinking about him. Giddiness had been pouring through me since Chance and Hildie filled me in about the mysterious letters. I guess it just tightened up his story about missing me when he got sent away, and I apparently needed a little reassurance in light of his offspring from that academic year.
As I took off down the country road leading to the opposite end of the island, I heard my cell ding and I couldn’t wipe off my grin.
Maybe this would be the start of an amazing friendship like we’d had before. I obviously excelled at keeping relationships well past their prime, considering who would be arriving on the island at some point, so why exclude a person who I might actually enjoy?
Okay. Who was I kidding? I more than enjoyed being with Kyle.
But back to the task at hand.
I pulled into the gravel parking lot and saw two of the other volunteers walking toward the building where our latest arrivals, orphaned opossums, were being housed. I loved all wildlife, but it always creeped me out to see the opossums’ tiny triangular teeth flash in my direction. I shivered at the thought and climbed out of my car.
Thankfully, I was on auction duty today.
“Hey, Brooke.” Carrie waved in my direction, and I returned a quick one before she walked into the conference center. Carrie was the director of the organization and made sure everything was always running smoothly. She lived on the property and threw herself into running the refuge.
I grabbed my bag out of the passenger seat and walked inside, finding the conference room we were set to meet in.
Carrie was already filling her mug with tap water, and I quickly found a seat next to a few other volunteers.
“Well, we just got another generous donation,” Carrie said, turning around with a huge smile on her face.
“Really? That’s great.” I nodded. It wasn’t unusual to still be receiving donations for
the auction all the way up to the event. “What is it?”
“It’s from an anonymous donor.” Carrie adjusted her ponytail. “Shoot, I might even want to bid on it.”
She slid the sheet of paper in front of me listing an all-inclusive vacation package to the Silver Ridge Ski Resort. Complete with a stay at the North Woods Resort and Spa for one week.
“He just asked that we list the donor as Fievel.”
It was in that moment that I realized that Kyle North was the same caring, kind, and compassionate boy I’d fallen in love with so many years ago. My only hope was that I hadn’t lost myself too much along the way to make it work.
Chapter Fifteen
The two weeks of silence had nearly killed me. I’d pretended that being busy made it perfectly fine and was just how I liked it, but as Kyle pointed out several times since he came back into my life, I was a horrible liar.
I wasn’t ready to begin anything with Kyle, but I knew I’d forever hate myself if I didn’t at least get to have him in my life in some capacity. Just because I couldn’t control my raging hormones around him when I was a teenager didn’t mean I had to revert back to being sixteen. I could be an adult and enjoy his companionship.
I’d left my car on Fireweed and walked on the ferry. Kyle said he’d pick me up in Seattle to help with the last minute details of the auction. I’d tried several times to thank him, but he dismissed his donation as if it wasn’t a big deal.
I looked up from the ferry to see him waiting for me, and my insides squeezed with happiness.
Seeing him standing against his car, waiting for me, made my heart literally skip a beat. He looked sensational in a pair of jeans and a dark grey shirt. I didn’t think there was much he could wear that didn’t make him look good.
But there was a part of me that wondered exactly what he looked like under all those clothes. It had been so long…
Yeah, this friend thing was going to work out just fine.
As I nearly hopped off the ramp to the sidewalk, he pushed himself off his Toyota Land Cruiser and made his way over, opening his arms wide.
I dove right into them, and he squeezed me tightly, spinning me around. I breathed him in and hugged him back.
Irresistible Love at Silver Falls (Island County Series Book 7) Page 12