Linda Goodman's Sun Signs

by Linda Goodman

  Never worry that your Aries lass will succumb to the charms of a wolf. She’s immune to wolves and playboys, and in far more danger of being seduced by an idealist with a cause, preferably a lost cause. But even with him, she’ll assert her individuality frequently. It will never be completely conquered in the Mars woman, though it can be subdued by the right man. She’ll buy you gifts, loan you money, nurse you through illness, and help you get a job. And she’ll expect the same from you.

  She’ll deny it vehemently (she does almost everything vehemently), but when she’s miserable, you should be miserable. When she’s happy, you should be happy. To Aries, love is equal sharing. She’ll expect to share your razor, your bank account, your friendships and your dreams. In return, you can share hers. Of course, her razor may be broken, her bank account a little overdrawn, her friendships slightly scattered and her dreams too large for you to swallow. But she’s not selfish with them. Keeping a secret from her can drive her wild, and it’s not a good idea to drive an Aries wild. Don’t ever embarrass her by your grammar, clothing or behavior in public. She won’t embarrass you, at least not in these matters.

  To injure her pride or dampen her enthusiasm will almost break her heart. Others will constantly be doing just that to her. The world resents a female who talks back to it, and who thinks she’s smarter than everyone else. When she discovers she really doesn’t run the universe after all, she’ll come running into your arms in tears, her world all dark and dismal. Then you’ll have a chance to see her as she really is, defenseless and vulnerable in the extreme, for all her outer confidence. She’s not really Tugboat Annie. She’d just like to be. She admires strength and tries to imitate it. The Aries idealism and optimistic faith in human nature is often dashed to bits by reality. Comfort her with tenderness at these times, and you’ll probably never lose her. Always defend her against her enemies. She can never forgive you if you fail to fight for her or take her side. (But be prepared to make up with them when she does, which may be quickly.) At least she’s fair about it. She’ll also defend you. An Aries woman will throw away fame or fortune defiantly right in the face of anyone who hurts a friend of hers. If she loves you, her indignation will have no bounds. These women are nothing if not loyal.

  As a wife, she may be quite a handful. There will probably be outside interests, because home will seldom be enough for her creative energies. Don’t expect her to be a happy little cricket, chirping away contentedly by the hearth. She’ll be a competent enough cook, and she’ll keep the house spanking clean—at least the part that shows. She’ll sew on buttons and iron shirts, too, but she won’t like it. Still, she’ll do it when it’s necessary. (An Aries woman can do almost anything when it’s necessary.) Her fire is more like that of a glittering diamond than like the warm, comforting glow of the fireplace. There’s undeniably a brittle side to her nature, and she may agitate you more often than she soothes you. But she’s exciting and certainly never boring. Then there are always those moments of softness that belie her strong drive—for a man who has the patience to bring them out. Mars women are always softer inside than any but those who have been really close to them ever know. Her conversation will be very intelligent and very frequent. Don’t hide behind the newspaper at breakfast. She’ll expect companionship from you, or you can just scramble your own eggs.

  You’ll rarely find her complaining of illness or fatigue. But when she’s in pain, she’ll expect tons of sympathy. Although you may have to sit on her to get her to go to bed when she has a raging fever, be prepared to wait on her hand and foot when she has a toothache.

  This is not the woman to call and tell you’ll be working late at the office, unless you enjoy creating Fourth of July fireworks in the middle of February. She won’t mind keeping dinner warm, but she won’t like not knowing where you really are, and what you’re really doing, and she may call back to find out. The Aries wife will probably make an excellent impression on your boss, if you can keep her from telling him how to run his business. She won’t mind going out to bring home the bacon when you’re temporarily out of a job, but she can never respect a man who makes less money than she does (though an Aries woman would never leave a man for this reason—she’d be more inclined to make excuses for him). If she has a rare spell of letting herself go, the first word of disapproval from you will send her flying back to the mirror and perfume bottle. (In this way, she’s as feminine as Eve herself.) A flattering comment about your assistant’s new hair style will do the same thing, but it’s more dangerous. Besides, you were warned to hire a male assistant. There’s a vain streak in a Mars woman which makes her sensitive about everything from her age to an innocent remark about how tired she looks, which she may take as a hint that you think she looks like an old hag.

  Keep the passion and romance alive in your marriage, or she’ll be miserably unhappy. Aries will waste little time changing any situation which causes unhappiness, and that can lead to a hasty separation or an impulsive divorce. In most cases, letting her handle the family checkbook would be unwise, but you can try it, if the bank is game.

  As a mother, she’ll see that the baby is clean, happy, healthy and loved. She probably won’t pick him up every time he cries, fuss over him or over-protect him. But her children will get lots of warm, impulsive kisses and bear hugs. An April mother will teach her youngsters to believe in leprechauns. She’ll take them for walks in the park, and point out the sparkling necklaces left on the lawn by the fairies when they danced under the moon where others might see only the early morning dew on the grass. Aries women create a magic world of fantasy for their children. It’s where they live themselves. She won’t be a permissive parent, she’ll insist on strict discipline, and will probably be very fortunate in raising her offspring to be independent adults. Her favorite weapons of child psychology are: a wooden paddle, bedtime stories and goodnight kisses.

  This woman can be unreasonably temperamental, and create some violent scenes. But her quickly aroused temper will splatter like summer hailstones and soon melt away. She’ll never hold a grudge, seek revenge, indulge in self-pity or bitterness. After an emotional storm, her optimistic, April nature will return like the rainbow suddenly appearing after a shower. Lots of people will tell you an Aries woman is completely masculine, but don’t you believe them. She’s all woman underneath her flashing, forceful exterior, perhaps too much woman for the average man. But, of course, a knight in shining armor isn’t an average man. Are there any lonely, courageous knights out there? This is the fair lady of your dreams, worth all the dragons you’ll have to slay to win her.

  Don’t forget that she bruises easily, in spite of her bright, brave smile. (That’s just her shield against hurt.) If you can turn the ram into a lamb, you’ll have a woman who is honest and passionate, loyal and exciting—though she may be a little impulsive, bossy and independent. Well, you can’t have everything, you know. The Aries woman will help you find your lost illusions and she’ll have a fierce faith in all your dreams. You don’t have any? Borrow some of hers. She has plenty to spare. If you believe in her just half as much as she believes in you, you could make some miracles together.

  The ARIES Child

  “All I know is something comes at me

  Like a Jack-in-the-box

  And I go up like a Sky Rocket!”

  While Papa is passing out the cigars, the crimson-faced little Aries baby will yell for attention in the bassinet. How dare you ignore him and talk to the nurse? Who’s the boss around here anyway?

  You won’t any more than get him in the taxi on the way home before that question will be emphatically answered. Your Mars infant is the boss. Do you have any doubts? They’ll fade away when he’s old enough to sit in the high chair and bang his spoon on the tray if you leave him alone too long. He’ll never tease you or be subtle about his preferred diet. There’s not a subtle bone in his strong, active, broad-shouldered little body. The Aries tot will spit out his vegetables as if they were shot from a cannon, a
nd rub the cereal bowl on his tiny, bald head to make it quite clear that this is definitely not the food baby likes. The girls will be as direct in their actions as the boys. Maybe more so, though you hardly expect such fierce determination from a soft, little miss. Did I say soft? April’s metal is iron, and April’s stone is the diamond, the hardest substance known to man.

  He’ll probably walk earlier than other babies, and certainly will talk earlier. He won’t be easy to control. Say, “No, no,” to an Aries toddler, and he’ll shake his chubby, little finger right back at you in defiance. Discipline should be started quite young. Be on guard against falls and injuries to the head or face. He’s accident-prone, to put it mildly. Keep sharp knives out of reach, watch out for burns and scalds. If there’s anything hot or forbidden around, you can just bet the Aries child will stick his curious fist in it impulsively. You think that will teach him a lesson? Not this youngster. He’ll try to break his own record. Teething time may be feverish and severe. Baby will come through the ordeal with little difficulty, but will you?

  When he gets a little older, you may get the breath squeezed out of you with one of his loving bear hugs. Aries children are usually affectionately demonstrative, except for the few Mars youngsters whose early emotional experiences freeze their normally warm hearts. These are the sad, quieter little sheep. But their horns are just as dangerous.

  Better not ask relatives to babysit without warning them. If poor Aunt Maude bravely takes him while you have a brief vacation, things could become a little strained. She’ll catch your Aries tot with his busy hand in the sugar bowl, and probably make the mistake of stamping her foot in displeasure. That will both surprise and outrage the little ram into stamping his own small foot, and bursting out with his first complete sentence, “Aunt ‘Mod’—don’t you tell me sumpin’.” So quaint. Bet she won’t “tell him something” again soon. (You might have to come home a little early. He broke his big toe when he stamped his foot.)

  As he grows older and stronger, after having fought measles, mumps and chicken pox, and won hands down (a battle with germs is no contest with the quickly recuperating Mars nature), your Aries child will begin to show a pattern of temper. You’ll notice that he or she can be most unreasonable when thwarted, but the anger won’t last long. After a periodic explosion, the Aries boy or girl will beam a large, bright and winning smile your way.

  He’ll share his toys with amazing generosity with you, his playmates, the mailman, the neighbor’s bulldog and the alley cat. However, his generosity will end if one of them hurts his feelings or gets in the way of something he wants to do or somewhere he wants to go. Then look out for fireworks.

  Aries boys and girls may fall into the early habit of neglecting homework, and using your more obedient little Capricorn, Cancer, Virgo or Pisces child as an example will hardly impress him. (I’m assuming you don’t have more than one Aries offspring. The planets don’t do that to parents very often.) Instead of shaming the Mars youngster into studying, challenge him. He’ll lap up a challenge like that favorite stray alley cat of his laps up cream. Just tell him (or her) that he’s probably just slow, or not as bright as the other students, inferior in some way, but you don’t mind. You love him anyway. My! How the dust will fly off those schoolbooks, as he sets out to prove what a ridiculous theory that is. Someone who can top him? That will be the day—or night.

  After you’ve watched the magic of such strategy at home, tip off his teacher. She’ll get down on her knees and thank you. If she has more than one Aries student in her class, she may send you a five-pound box of candy. Actually, Mars youngsters can learn anything in nothing flat, never forget it, and breeze through their studies, if they apply themselves. Not all parents know how to accomplish this. They may spend years wondering why Mike and Maggie test with such a high I.Q., and still manage to stay in the third grade for four years. They needn’t worry too much, however, because little Mike and Maggie will make up for lost time with the speed of a bullet, once they get out in the world and find out people are smarter than they are. A couple of humiliations to the Mars ego, and they’ll cram so fiercely, they’ll skip a few grades.

  Your April youngster will have a vivid imagination; he’ll be as dreamy and sentimental as a storybook, but he’ll know very well how to get his bread toasted at the same time. If there is such a contradictory thing as a hard, practical idealistic dreamer, it’s your Aries child. He’s as naive as he is tough; as gentle as he is pushy. All these conflicting traits are woven into his fiery little nature. You’ll marvel at it and wonder about it. So will your friends later on, not to mention his boss, his future enemies and the unsuspecting soul he marries.

  Aries children will take the lead with playmates, start new games and invent new ideas for the gang. They’ll insist on having their own way or butt their heads against authority, so you’d better decide to set down some firm rules in the beginning. The Aries child who isn’t trained to obey in his youth will be taught some crushing lessons in maturity. Remember that his heart is as soft as butter, and it hides deep-seated fears of being disliked and unloved, despite his brave front. Rejection of his bright dreams or dampening of his exciting enthusiasm, will send him running home to you in tragic tears. Hold him very close when this happens. His heart will be broken. For all his rash domineering ways, the Aries idealism is sensitive and it bruises with the slightest bump. He’ll be getting plenty of those bumps on his naive, hope-filled optimism during his lifetime, and he needs more protection against them than you might think.

  He believes in fairy godmothers with magic wands, and giants who can topple over whole cities with one sweep of a powerful hand. Unfortunately, Aries children naively identify with these two omnipotent types. When they discover that there are giant killers out there in the brutal world—and blunt realists, who can make those magic wands pathetically impotent, they’ll take some hard tumbles. But they’ll get back up, brush themselves off, and push forward again indefinitely. They’ll teach that dull, unimaginative old world a thing or two! There may be a few scars before it’s over, but don’t count your Mars child out of the fight, no matter how many times he’s knocked down. Wait for him to holler “Uncle.” You may have a long wait.

  Hide birthday presents in a safe place. He’ll be impatient, and unwilling to wait for surprises. Don’t destroy his faith in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny too soon. To first believe fiercely, and then learn not to believe, toughens his emotions. It’s a necessary lesson. His allowance will burn a hole right through his pocket, but he’ll cheerfully give you his last dime for the milkman. Your Aries daughter may pay the neighborhood bullies a nickel a day to stop stepping on ants. An Aries child handled harshly in the impressionable years can show a defensive cruel streak, but guided gently and wisely, he’ll insist on his rights with less force, and show a gigantic generosity and sympathy for his fellow man. Don’t give him orders, always ask him to do things with a cheerful smile, and he’ll knock himself out to please you. Never destroy his confidence. It’s as important to him as the air he breathes. He may run away from home; the Mars independence shows early, but he’ll come back wiser. Teach him that it’s unkind to dominate meeker youngsters. He truly does not want to be unkind.

  Being around cold, negative people can wound him deeply, but nothing will ever break his spirit. (Remember the diamond.) He’ll probably be wild about books and be an excellent reader, yet he may not be anxious to settle down to four years of college. Aries is too interested in getting into the action of chopping down all those challenging beanstalks. But don’t give up too quickly. He can use the additional discipline of higher education to help his mind catch up with his flaming emotions and sudden, puzzling bursts of sharp intuition. The more he balks at the idea of a rigid scholastic schedule and prefers the freedom of trying out a few jobs, the more you can be sure he needs the schedule.

  He’ll have to learn responsibility, but you’ll teach him this and other things faster through direct logic and honest affec
tion. Both appeal to him. Parents and teachers should never forget that Aries children glow under praise and doggedly proceed to top their own efforts, but they sputter like firecrackers under attack and lose all incentive to try. Tell him what you like about him, and he’ll do less that you don’t like. Aries youngsters live up to exactly what’s expected of them, including those who hide their burning drive under a calmer personality. This child must always be kept busy, or he’ll wander into trouble. Idleness spells danger. He needs stacks of sleep to renew all that scattered, misplaced energy.

  He’ll love stories about brave, shining heroes, who conquered new worlds. But he also believes in leprechauns and wishing wells, and he’ll continue to believe in them long after you’ve bronzed those little Aries baby shoes and welcomed the first grandchild. If you lead your Mars child gently, with constant love, he’ll grow up with the wonderful power to dream the impossible dream—and make it come true.

  The ARIES Boss

  “Well now that we have seen each other,” said the Unicorn,

  “if you’ll believe in me,

  I’ll believe in you.

  Is that a bargain?”

  The Aries boss won’t be popular with lazy employees. If you’re looking for a temporary soft spot to fill in the time while you seek a permanent career, or a place to pick up a little spending money during a lull in your life, you’d be well advised not to work for an Aries. This woman simply can’t abide half-hearted work or a lack of enthusiasm in those around her. She’ll expect you to be as devoted to the company as she is, and just as intently concerned with its future potential. She’ll probably hire you fast, promote you fast—and point out your mistakes just as quickly.

  If she suspects you are coasting, you’re liable to get a blunt and direct-to-the-point tongue-lashing, with no feelings spared, but you’ll also get a second chance, perhaps even a third or fourth one, if you admit you’re wrong and promise to do better. You might as well be prepared to work overtime for the Aries boss frequently. She’ll expect it. On the other hand, if she’s a typical Aries, she probably won’t frown at the clock or glance at his wristwatch when you arrive late in the morning or take an extra half hour or hour for lunch. She’s not a clock watcher herself. Because of his highly individual personality, she’ll understand that you can’t turn on creativity like a light switch at nine in the morning and turn it off again at five in the afternoon. She’s a boss who will often ask you to work an extra Saturday, but she’s also likely to accept the excuse of your grandmother’s funeral when you want to attend that baseball game, though you’d get the time off just as easily by telling the truth. She can see why, on sudden impulse, you’d like to root for your team on a spring day.