As you turn off the lamps at bed time, you may wonder, as all parents do about a day in the not too far distant future when the little head that keeps popping up “for one more drink of water” will be missing. The house will be still then, and empty of his alternating tears and laughter, after the funny, imaginative little crab crawls away to raise his own family. Will he forget? Not if he was born in late June or July. Years can go by, and he may sail on distant seas, but you can keep his toy dinosaur—the one you gave him that Saturday afternoon after you quarreled—on his dresser. And you can leave her rag doll in its place on the window seat. Your moon child will come home again many times throughout every tomorrow—to meet old memories and return to the past. No matter how many miles separate him from yesterday, anywhere he lives is always handy to home. Keep his bedroom intact.
The CANCER Boss
“You see,” he went on after a pause, “it’s as well to be provided for everything.
That’s the reason the horse has all those anklets around his feet.”
“But what are they for?” Alice asked, in a tone of great curiosity.
“To guard against the bites of sharks,” the Knight replied.
After learning about the Cancerian sense of humor, you may have the impression that the office of a Cancer boss is a real fun place, with everything except confetti and a sommelier to serve champagne. The employees will all be straight men, and the lunar executive is the stand-up comic with the clever one-liners. It will be like going to work in a nightclub every day. Well, no—not exactly.
If you work for a TV or movie funnyman or woman, all that just might apply. Anywhere else, you’d best dust the confetti off your shoulder, straighten your tie and forget the jokes. The serious, hard-working Cancerian executive doesn’t go for hilarity on the job. Her working humor can consist of anything from laughing at an over-confident competitor falling on his face to a faint chuckle when you ask her to double your salary before you have proved yourself. Both of these situations will strike her funny ribs and bring a wide grin. Nothing else will arouse much mirth or many giggles. The humor is still there, beneath his crisp business face and her tailored suit, but it will be used sparingly on the job. Most of her laughs at work will be saved for the human comedy of errors, or to ease someone’s nervousness, and the tone will usually be kindly. Seven hours and fifty-nine minutes out of every eight working hours, however, will be humorless, even grim.
I don’t mean to frighten you into thinking she’s a female version of Simon Legree (though there are a few Cancerian bosses of that type scattered around the world). It’s just that your job under a Cancer boss will be more secure if you see that your trousers are creased, your hair is combed, and your brain is operating at a sharp level, than if you tell a few fast ones, happily trying to play second banana. The top banana you’re trying to impress is off duty in the humor mill while she sits behind that polished mahogany desk, with her father’s picture on one side, and the group picture of his family on the other. Can you imagine what would have happened to one of Donald Rumsfeld’s underlings if he pulled the one about “who was that lady I saw you with last night” in the middle of a meeting? I know an employee who made a serious error in quoting a shipping date to a valued client. When his Cancerian superior called him in for an accounting, prepared to be kind, he cheerfully said, “Boss, I sincerely regret my stupidity, and if you’ll give me a couple of days, I’m sure I can come up with several excellent excuses!” He would have been a scream in old-time vaudeville, but he got the hook from his unamused Cancer employer.
Hopefully, you will profit from the large egg that employee laid at his last performance. The Cancer boss is in business for one purpose only. To make money. Period. Money. It’s made of green and black printed paper, and it has different numbers in the upper corners, signifying how much power, prestige, and luxury it will buy. You trade it for hard work. The harder you work, the more pieces of this green and black printed paper you get and the larger the numbers are in the upper corners. That’s her philosophy, in a crab shell. It would be wise to make it yours.
So you think she’s a little icy, do you? Maybe if he relaxed more, and stopped being so strict about goofing off, and created a friendlier atmosphere, he would not only be more successful, he would be happier, too. Has that occurred to you? Glance at a copy of Who’s Who in Finance and Business. The summer birthdays will be the heaviest, and July will top them all. Then take another look at the names of the Cancerians at the end of “How To Recognize” this Sun sign. She must be doing something right.
Whatever business she is in, the Cancer boss is really in her element when it comes to trading—from horses to stocks—and anything in between. She is a master at figuring out what people want and supplying it at a substantial profit.
You can safely wager a month’s paycheck that, while she was in college, she was working part-time and setting a little mullah aside. What am I saying, college? This woman probably had her first employment at the age of six or seven, selling lemonade on the corner. Ask her when she began her first salaried job. You’ll probably get quite a shock. But it will increase your status with her. She’ll respect you and make a mental note that you’re thinking right. By the way, watch those mental notes she makes. She has a memory like an elephant. Cancer bosses seldom forget a thing. That includes what time you arrive, what time you leave and how many times you visit the washroom while you’re there. But she’ll also remember the nights you stayed late and the time you worked all weekend to help her with an important contract, and you’ll be justly, even generously, rewarded.
She may have inherited wealth and position, but the Cancer boss will seldom rest on her family’s laurels. She has to prove she can stack up the gold pieces on his own. Still, she’s not greedy. She’s truly sympathetic and charitable, without being naive about it. To her, charity begins at home. Her family comes first. Next, her career. After that, it’s your turn—and everybody else’s. No one can be as big-hearted and financially generous when the recipient is deserving, and when there’s really nowhere else he can go for help. The crab will make her gesture then—and it won’t be small. Just remember that there’s a wide berth between honest charity and rash speculation. She has a soft heart, but she doesn’t have a soft head.
In reality, your Cancer boss is a deeply sensitive, gentle person, and basically insecure. Success calms many of her inner fears, and that’s why she pursues it so devotedly. When she’s hurt, and that may be far more frequently than you realize, she crawls into her hard shell. It’s also a Cancerian defense when she doesn’t get what she wants, and it often works to her advantage. People always feel sorry for a crab who has retreated inside her shell, and sometimes they’ll promise quite a bit to coax her back out.
All Cancer bosses have a remarkable insight into your feelings. They’ll understand everything you say with uncanny accuracy, and the unnerving part is that they’re also perceptive enough to sense the meaning of the words you leave unspoken, so watch what you leave unspoken. Cancerians aren’t really loners. They may act like it at times, when they’re passing through a cranky or depressed mood, but they usually surround themselves with people. Solitude is fearful to most crabs, except to those who have sought it because of very deep wounds very early in life, and even they are miserable alone, though they may not consciously realize it.
It’s good to work for a Cancerian executive. You’ll learn more in one month from her than you will in a year from other bosses. The most important thing you’ll learn is consideration. A Cancer boss drives a hard bargain, but she’s fair while he’s being shrewd. Playing a game of win or lose with the big boys who hold the blue chips is one thing. Taking advantage of the innocent is another. She’s essentially a kind and decent woman, who’s moved to deep pity by both cruelty and misfortune. Courtesy and compassion are part of her code. If your intentions are sincere, your motives are sound and your heart is honest, she’ll back you through mistaken opinions and personal t
roubles.
The crab waits patiently and tenaciously, with both eyes wide open. Her mind remains alert and practical, but his heart dreams, and the dreams are as magic as the moonlight that stirs her. They can take her on a glamorous, exciting trip around the world, or inspire her to build a towering industry that uses its excess profits to encourage scientific research which will help humanity. But every dream is built on a solid foundation. Her poetry is beautiful, but it always makes sense.
As for that joke, make sure you tell it to her at lunch, not on company time. If it’s about plain people and has a good point, she’ll laugh. Then you’ll find out what she’s really like. Watch her eyes, and you’ll see that the lunar laugh is a bright and brave answer to inner fears and hurts that only the patient crab, with her gentle heart and tough shell, could dare to give.
The CANCER Employee
“And they drew all manner of things—
everything that begins with an M—
… such as mouse-traps, and the moon,
and memory, and muchness….”
It’s always nice to have a Cancerian work for you, because he actually works for you. He doesn’t work for glory or a misty chimera, and he doesn’t stop by each day because he has a crush on the receptionist. He never thinks of his job as a way to express his ego or as an amusing way to pass the time between coffee breaks. He works for the simplest reason in the world. Security. Meaning, of course, his paycheck.
You should understand immediately that a Cancerian paycheck must be made of elastic. It will have to gradually stretch bigger and bigger. As time goes on, and he gathers experience, proves his loyalty and shows his talents or abilities, he’ll expect more money. His income must always equal his output, and his output will steadily increase. The paycheck will have to match it or he’ll be forced to do something completely against his nature—let go of his job and go elsewhere. It’s never easy for the crab to let go of anything—toothbrushes, old get-well cards, shoe-strings, socks, girls, empty ball-point pens or jobs. He gets a firm grip and you can’t pry him loose. Dependability and tenacity were the materials used in building his nature, and they were used with a lavish hand. They serve him well on his ambitious climb to success. He may shake and shiver and tremble a little on the way when the sharks appear and his emotions are cut to the quick, but all that will be kept safely encased inside his tough shell of deliberate purpose. Despite the crab’s apparent gentleness, Cancer is a cardinal sign, which means Cancerians were born to take responsibility—to lead, not be led. They’ll accept discipline from the higher ups with calm docility while it’s necessary, but never forget what’s behind their willingness to follow orders gracefully. When the crab obediently serves, he’s really serving his own secret purposes. His job happens to represent an important brick in the large edifice he’s building. As soon the sturdy structure is completed, he will take over and rule. In other words, he is aiming for an executive position. It never leaves his mind for an instant. It’s best you keep it in yours also, for obvious reasons.
His motivation in laying those bricks with such strong mortar is seldom a desire for power. Prestige doesn’t goad him on, as it does the Capricorn, the goat, nor ego, as it does Aries, the ram. He’s driven to accumulate cash and an unshakable position of authority for different reasons. Cancerians need the security of knowing that all their tomorrows are safe, so they can finally relax and live where their hearts are—in yesterday. That takes money. Antiques are expensive. So are huge, old houses and luxurious dinners, served graciously. Collecting old autographs requires a lot of cash, too, and handsome frames to hold portraits of ancestors aren’t cheap. Good stereo systems for classical music cost plenty of dimes. Besides, the Cancer employee may need substantial sums to support relatives who have moved in during a troubled spell, or an offspring may be in need of more money for a variety of reasons. In addition, the crab has a multitude of fears, both real and imaginary. They form a complicated network of nagging self-doubts and feelings of inadequacy, which authority and leadership will ease the way Novocain dulls pain.
He needs one more thing. Affection. Naturally, that’s not your responsibility. Still, it helps to be aware of it. Someday you may have to give him a squeeze of the hand and a speech of warm gratitude instead of a raise. It won’t be a substitute for cash by any means, but it might make him decide to stay around a little longer. Appreciation is soothing to the Cancerian, but it will never completely replace his sentimental attachment to his bank balance.
So don’t go overboard and get into the habit of saying, “Rocky, old boy, I can’t pay you the money you’re worth now, but I love you madly.” He may misunderstand your motive after a time or two. That is, he may think you’re insincere. Be equally cautious with your female Cancerian employees. You could easily be misunderstood by them. The Cancer woman is shy and timid with strangers, but she recognizes a romantic signal from miles away with frightening speed. If she’s single, you’d better hope you are, because she’ll get that tender, possessive look in her eyes, and you’ll have quite a time getting out of the noose. If she’s married, she’ll freeze you cold or snap at you until you’re properly respectful. Give your lunar people love, but try to remain impersonal about it. I know that’s like saying, “Hang your clothes on a hickory limb, but don’t go near the water,” but that’s the way it is. The strategy is something you’ll have to figure out for yourself.
Just as surely as Cancerian Stephen Foster wrote “My Old Kentucky Home” the symbol of home will enter the lives of these employees one way or another. Your lunar assistant’s mother may drop by frequently to lunch with her son—and a female crab working responsibly as a department store manager for years will walk out suddenly if her son is in trouble or ill, and needs her. That salesperson who was born in July will enjoy a bit of travel, if he’s a bachelor (as long as someone calls his mother every day while he’s gone to see if she wants anything). But if he’s married, he may not appreciate being sent out of town or being asked to sacrifice holidays at home for business emergencies.
If you have any Cancerian employees who are going through a separation or divorce, you have a problem on your hands that may disrupt your staff for weeks. They’ll spread a cloud of gloom over the office. If it’s a female, double your order of Kleenex for her desk. There will be periods of moody weeping, and she may spend a lot of time in court. The judge will award her substantial alimony or else. If support money for children is involved, she may need a month off. Physical desertion is bad enough, but the threat of losing financial security will arouse every ounce of tenacity in her, and that’s a lot of ounces. Crabs of both sexes take a broken home very hard. Your best bet about this Cancerian home fixation is to hang a poem on the wall of every office. “Home Is Where The Heart Is.” Just beneath it, hang one of those arrangements of rare coins, on a background of lavender velvet, framed in sterling silver. Have you missed the point? They won’t.
When there’s something you want to discuss with the Cancer employee, and you want to put him in a receptive frame of mind, take him to lunch or dinner. Cancerians adore people who invite them for a meal. Not only does it mean he won’t have to pick up the check, but food spells security in capital letters. Just watch his eyes light up. He may not be a big eater himself, but he’s still more contented and peaceful when there’s an abundance of food around. Be sure you take him to one of the finest restaurants in town. He’ll love the luxury, since he’s not paying the bill.
Cancerians are industrious workers. You can rely on them to be steady and reliable under all circumstances, except one. Cancer is a water sign, and people born under the three water signs enjoy liquids in all forms. If the aspects between the planets were afflicted at birth, one of these forms may be a hundred proof. The Cancerian with a drinking problem is rare, but if you should happen to come across a July-born employee who fills the air with the crazy lunar laugh too frequently, or who weeps melancholy tears continually, he may be enjoying something stronger tha
n java on his coffee breaks. Don’t form the opinion, that every Pisces, Scorpio or Cancer person is a nipper. True, people born during these periods are more often found drowning their sorrows than others, but that’s an overall statistic, covering millions of humans, and you can never use it when judging people individually. Most of the Cancerians you meet will be sober. In fact, they may be so sober, you wish they would relax a little over a cocktail.
They take their work seriously, and themselves even more so. The lunar sense of humor is warm and wonderful, full of sensitive insight into human nature, but when someone’s wit hits a tender spot, the crab may be deeply hurt. It’s best to let him make the jokes. With his kind heart and his sharp perception, it’s unlikely that he’ll wound anyone under the guise of comedy. The typical Cancerian employee won’t scatter his punch lines during working hours on company time, but when you take him to dinner, he might keep you chuckling from the tomato juice through the cherries Jubilee. Crabs can be utterly fascinating conversationalists, unless they’re in a gloomy mood, in which case one word an hour, snapped out briefly, will be about par. They can pout beautifully. But they can also speak magnetically, and sway your emotions easily through their ability to play on people.
Cancerians feel things. No one can be more tender and sympathetic than a Cancer person when you need a friend, and no one can be crankier when they suspect someone is trying to take something from them, either emotionally or tangibly. When the bank statement doesn’t balance, they may frown in sullen silence for hours afterwards, and if a crab thinks an associate is after his or her job, there can be some pretty childish behavior, as a prelude to a fight-to-the-death for possession and ownership. The victim may not even suspect war has been declared until the victory has been won. Cancerians have more secrets than J. Edgar Hoover, James Bond and Sherlock Holmes combined. They seldom advertise their moves in advance, and they almost never reveal their true inner thoughts, except to those who are so close to them there’s little chance the confidence will ever boomerang.
Linda Goodman's Sun Signs Page 19