Linda Goodman's Sun Signs

by Linda Goodman

  Pisceans tend to think they can live forever, and they often act as though they believed it fervently. The fish typically doesn’t take very good care of himself. Chances are he spends most of his excess energy (and he doesn’t have too much to spare), helping relatives in trouble or taking on the burdens of friends. Their troubles can be emotional or financial, but either can be a serious drain on Piscean health, which is rarely robust to begin with. The fish must conserve his energy and refrain from succumbing to stimulants or sedatives, fatigue and other people’s emergencies. Weakest as infants, seldom sturdy as children (unless there’s a strong Mars influence in the natal chart), Pisces people seem to have slow metabolisms, which is why they often wake up sleepy-eyed and listless. Poor eating habits can bring troubles with liver and intestinal functions and digestive troubles. Accidents to, or some abnormalities of the feet, hands or hips are common, also colds, flu and pneumonia. The lungs are not strong, and weak toes and ankles may result from March births. The fish seem to have fallen arches and metatarsal injuries or superbly strong and supple feet. There’s no in-between. They have a hidden inner resistance, however, and one of the challenges of Neptune is to discover this latent strength and call on it. Pisceans can literally hypnotize themselves into or out of anything they choose—including fear of cats, mice, heights, subways, elevators and people.

  Humor is one of their secret weapons. Pisceans grin to cover unshed tears. They’re masters of satire, and you may cringe from a bright remark thrown at you so casually that you’re unable to pin down the exact meaning or the intent. Yet, you’ll have a decidedly uncomfortable feeling. The fish can scatter caustic observations around like flashing lights which wink on and off so fast you can’t keep up with them. He’s an excellent practical joker, great at pulling hilarious lines while he keeps his own elastic face mournful and straight. He can move gracefully from slapstick to brittle, sophisticated jokes. Sometimes the fun is warm and harmless, sometimes it’s cold and merciless; but it’s always a cover for another emotion the fish wants to hide, seldom spontaneous of itself. Pisces wears his laughs as a mask, and they disguise him well.

  There’s a great feeling of pity and a desire to help the sick and weak. Pisces may share compassion for the ill with Virgo, but he takes the extra step to try to understand the hearts of the burdened and the friendless, the failures and the misfits, no matter how weird or how rejected by society. The fish will gently comfort those whom Virgo feels are weak by choice, and therefore undeserving. If you need a dime or a dollar, a large loan, or just a small encouragement that no one else would give, go to Pisces. You’ll get no lectures and no glances of superiority. He judges no man—thief, murderer, addict, pervert, sinner, saint, hypocrite or liar. Greed, Lust, Sloth and Envy will bring no critical wrath, if he’s a typical Neptunian. His understanding overflows, along with whatever practical help he’s able to offer. He senses every vice and virtue, and he knows each pitfall. Many fish, for this reason, don the robes of the priest or monk, and spend their lives in prayer or contemplation.

  To help is his first instinct. There are Pisces people who are crusty and brusque, but it’s only a fragile shell, worn for protection. The fish soon learns how vulnerable he is. The world is not yet tuned to the sensitive Piscean wavelength, so to avoid ridicule (as well as to avoid being taken for every last dime he owns), he sometimes feigns indifference. The impositions of those who would trample him force the fish to hide his true spirit. Since the depth of Neptune’s waters causes him to absorb every pain and joy as if they were his own, it’s little wonder many Pisceans pretend disinterest in hearing sad stories. But remember that they are pretending. If you’ve been rebuffed once, try twice, and the real fish will surface.

  The glorious Piscean imagination, their marvelous elfin humor and the Neptunian sense of beauty can create the most delicate, yet eternally lasting prose and poetry. Indeed, the world couldn’t do without their artistic efforts and their gentle compassion for a moment. It would stop spinning. You’ll frequently find fish who have buried their personal dreams to brighten odd corners of the lives of relatives and friends, or to bring the gift of tears and laughter to the public through the stage, at the cost of the privacy Pisces seeks and needs. Yet Neptune is a deceptive planet, capable of giving birth to natures that twist and turn in two directions at once, distorting the truth, an influence which often causes Pisces to hide his real emotions.

  This thespian quality is obvious if you’ve ever tried to pin down the elusive, flashing fish. He hates to answer a direct question with a yes or a no. It’s always maybe. A simple curiosity about what play he just saw or what book he just read can bring an evasive answer for no reason in particular. He can turn on tears, then turn on sunshine by pressing another invisible switch. Neither is truly real. All is illusion with Pisces, and they find it hard to tell the difference themselves. Their internal nature is as unfathomable as Neptune’s great oceans. The altruistic fish is filled with an inexhaustible, tender love for every living creature, which is truly saint-like, when it’s not turned inward in self-pity, and self love. Typically Piscean are the gregarious housewives with hearts big enough for the troubles of all the neighbors, and the patient bartenders who listen sympathetically to hundreds of tales of woe each week.

  Hanging somewhere between the silent waters of the sea below and the vast, star-studded mist above, only barely touching the earth from necessity, Pisces lives his life in lonely understanding of truth too deep to express in words. Those who want him for a friend, those who love him, must use their imagination to grasp the strange planes of his mind and emotions. The other two water signs—Scorpio and Cancer—are symbolized by half land—half water creatures, amphibious and flexible—but the fish can’t breathe air. He must live in cool green water, sometimes muddy, always moving.

  Pisces is represented, not by iron or mercury or gold or lead, but by the vibrations of the indefinable, artificial metals—again, an echo of the unreal and the illusionary. He sees his reflection in three dimensions in the violet amethyst and the clear emerald; and his natal flowers are the water lily and the lotus. Their blossoms are pink and white and delicate, but their stems and leaves are made of strong fibers, tough and indestructible, unless they’re torn up by the roots. Few can follow Pisces and probe his aquamarine nature, whether he swims downstream to oblivion, just another lashing speck in the large, moving school of fish—or fights his way upstream, to conquer the swift current and find serenity in pure waters. He is stronger than he thinks and wiser than he knows, but Neptune guards this secret until he discovers it for himself.

  Famous Pisces Personalities

  Edward Albee Mikhail Gorbachev Rupert Murdoch

  Bernardo Bertolucci George Harrison Bernadette Peters

  Gordon Brown Ben Hecht Auguste Renoir

  Michelangelo Buonarroti Ron Howard Alan Rickman

  Michael Caine Holly Hunter Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov

  Frederic Chopin Steve Jobs Dr. Seuss

  Grover Cleveland Jon Bon Jovi Levi Strauss

  Glenn Close Jack Kerouac Elizabeth Taylor

  Albert Einstein James Madison George Washington

  Ruth Bader Ginsburg Liza Minnelli Tom Wolfe

  The PISCES Man

  We are but older children, dear,

  Who fret to find our bedtime near.

  William Shakespeare was a Taurus, but he left this message for anyone who is considering becoming involved with a Pisces man:

  There is a tide in the affairs of men,

  Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;

  Omitted, all the voyage of their life

  Is bound in shallows and in miseries.

  If you’re about to fall over the dam for a Neptunian, you should paste those lines on your mirror, where you can see them every time you brush your hair. They may possibly make or break your future, not to mention your heart.

  Try to untangle your probably rosy state of mind and make sure that Pisces fellow you’re about to
join in a moonlight swim knows when the tide is coming in. If he takes it at the flood, you’re as lucky as any woman can be. On to fame and fortune! But if, perchance, your Pisces lad can’t see the tide for the Stardust in his eyes, and he misses that big flood—well, let me warn you that those Neptunian shallows can result in some of the most dismal miseries you’ll ever know.

  A Pisces man can be everything you want him to be—or everything you don’t want him to be. A tide in his affairs is synonymous with opportunity. It requires a firm decision, determined action, and the ability to drown any old, soggy dreams that prevent success. The trouble is that some Pisces men never recognize that tide at its flood, even when it sloshes over their feet.

  The Pisces man isn’t weak. It’s just that he may linger too long on a fading, silver star, and miss the bright sunlight of success. Not all Pisceans are gentle dreamers. But more of them than you can scatter with a pebble are. However, there is hope. There’s always hope, where there’s life. Although the world needs his lovely imagination only too desperately, there comes a time when the Pisces male has to go about the business of earning his potatoes. When he does that, he has a snap of it, because the Neptune intuition coupled with his clever mind can turn him toward sensible goals, which could bring him fame and recognition—even wealth and immortality. If not all that (you can’t hit the jackpot every time), then at least respectability and comfortable security. Let’s hope that’s the kind of Pisces male you’re sailing with. Practically no other Sun sign can stop his potential under those circumstances.

  However, if, say by the age of twenty-five or so, he hasn’t recognized that tide in his affairs, frankly, his future isn’t too hopeful. You think that’s unfair? All right, make it by the age of thirty-five, but you’re gambling. When I said his future isn’t too hopeful, I meant with you. As a wife—with the family routine. His personal future can be more or less satisfactory. Lots of Pisces men who can’t bury stale dreams and dig up fresh ideas for success, live fairly contented lives. That’s because all they need is that dream, rusty as it is around the edges. Add a jug of wine, a loaf of good rye bread, and he’s as happy as most of us other misfits. Ah! You noticed I stopped short of one item. It’s a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and Thou—right? I’m glad you’re up on the Rubaiyat. But you see, I left “Thou” out on purpose. The dreamy, sensitive, artistic fish can exist nicely on bread and wine—even thrive on it. But such a diet won’t feed a wife, one to five little bundles of joy, and who knows, maybe even some goldfish and guppies (considering his Sun sign). You need things like stockings and cosmetics and shoes and spinach and rent money and celery and milk and light bulbs and, well, you know what I mean.

  There’s only one way out with this kind of fish: Be an heiress. No, there is another way out: Get two jobs—one for you and one for him, and work at both of them yourself like the very dickens.

  Now, I didn’t say you wouldn’t be happy in the romantic hours. That’s one thing no kind of Pisces ever born will ever be short of—romance. They fairly breathe it. It’s just that it’s no substitute for spinach and baby shoes, or your sanity. The planets, in their wisdom, take care of such complications of life by giving oodles of chances for this dreamy, unworldly type of Piscean male to become a protégé. If he finds a patron or patroness (much more likelihood of the latter, but it can be either), he can turn into a great painter, a great writer, a great composer, a great musician—or at least just a great guy. But how is he going to find a patron, let alone a patroness, if he has you and those bundles of joy and the goldfish and the guppies and all cluttering up the artistic simplicity of his existence?

  You have to admit it just won’t work. Better say farewell to him right now. You’ll cry a little, and it may hurt—even deeply. But not as much as being married to a walking, talking dream, and having to face the landlord with nothing but empty wishes in your pocketbook. That really hurts.

  Now that we’ve been brave and practical about the bread and wine type, we can talk about the other kind of Pisces, the one who grabbed the tide at its flood. Obviously, he’s a real catch for any woman. There’s always the chance he could turn out to be an Einstein or a George Washington, which would be simply wonderful. You couldn’t ask for much more, though I suppose Einstein might have been a little engrossed in his equations on weekends and George may have brought a few problems home from the office at night. But you don’t have to seek perfection. Even a super practical Capricorn or an aggressive, driving Aries man can have little flaws. The point is that a Piscean who fights his way upstream will have plenty of chances to lay the twin gifts of fame and fortune at your feet. And he’s quite a guy in other ways, too.

  A Pisces man has no prejudices. He’ll never judge an Indian until he’s walked a few miles in his moccasins, or a nudist until he’s tried going barefoot. Even then he’ll understand and not pass critical judgment. He’s very short on cold accusations and very long on warm tolerance. He’ll even make a stab at trying to understand his motherin-law, and how many men do that? The Neptune male possesses a rare sympathy of spirit. His friends confide in him and never worry that he’ll be shocked. It takes a real blockbuster to shock the fish. If you and I and your Piscean were all three sitting in a room, and a man walked in and told us he was a little worried because he was a bigamist, with four different wives in four different states—you might glare at him and think he deserved to go to jail; I might sneer at him and call him a skunk; but your Pisces man would probably ask, “What four states? Were you in love with any of them?” The fish is curious, but totally shockproof. As far as he’s concerned, the fellow needs heaps of sympathy and a darned good lawyer.

  He might tell a secret or two accidentally, never on purpose. Pisces sometimes speaks before he realizes the possible damage. It’s a little tough for him to comprehend that what he says could perhaps be interpreted in the wrong light by more severe souls with less relenting attitudes. (It would take some thought, for example, for him to grasp that people like his sister or your mother wouldn’t understand the domestic difficulties of that poor bigamist.) However, once the fish has been specifically requested to keep it under his fin, he’ll be close-mouthed and reliable, and you can trust him with your darkest secrets.

  An occasional Pisces who’s the victim of an afflicted Mercury talks very fast, fluently and frequently. But the typical Neptunian speaks slowly, thinks gently, and tries to mind his own business, even though he’s continually subjected to the problems of friends’ relatives and neighbors. They flock to him because Neptune listens so beautifully. You’ll find yourself tempted to confide your own little worries with the broken hair dryer, your father’s sinus trouble and your overdrawn bank balance, but try to go easy. If there’s anything a Pisces husband or boy friend doesn’t need, it’s more tribulations dropped in his lap. Others have been dropping them all day. Bundles of them. He needs some relief when he’s with you. People don’t mean to impose on Pisces. They seldom realize that the Neptune nature is so receptive, it just soaks up all the vibrations around, good or bad, joyful or fearful, dark or light. The life of an absorbent, spiritual sponge can be kind of wearing on the psyche, as any mystic can tell you. (Many of them are Piscean.) The very fact that he’s sensitive means that he vividly feels the emotions of those who seek his ear and get his heart. Pisces people often have to rest for long periods. The Neptune soul must be alone at times, so fresh breezes can blow through to heal the wounds of all those vicarious troubles and bring back calm, undefiled individuality. So never begrudge your Pisces man his moments of silence. He sorely needs them. If he feels like being alone or taking a walk by himself, let him go. Too much togetherness can spoil the beauty of Pisces love. It needs space to grow untangled.

  Remember that the fish is sensitive and can be easily hurt. His shyness is due to a painful consciousness of his own limitations, whatever they may be, and he feels them keenly. He needs to know that his virtues are counted by someone he admires. You. Never hold back encouragement from
him.

  He may try Yoga and Zen, or experiment with occult beliefs, and he’ll probably be interested in astrology and numerology, even reincarnation. Like the Scorpio, he was born with an understanding of esoteric principles, and these things are usually good for him. They help keep his emotions stable, and they provide an anchor for his vivid imagination. Pisces men get upset now and then, but their anger is seldom violent or long lasting. When it’s over, the waters grow placid again, and life is just as peaceful as before. Some Neptune males do a little yelling around the house, but it’s harmless. It’s almost impossible for the fish to really bellow, like Taurus the bull, for example. See how lucky you are?

  Although he’s difficult to fathom himself, Pisces has no problem in seeing all the subtleties of others clearly. It’s difficult to fool him; he’ll look right through to the other side. Yet, he can fool you when he takes a notion to do so, through some quirk he has which makes him want to keep his personal affairs safely hidden from close scrutiny.

  One Piscean I know carries this trait so far he has actually been able to fool the government, and that’s no easy trick. All his life he has managed to avoid the census taker. The Internal Revenue knows less about him than they know about a native in Pago Pago. He gets away with it because he’s a writer. His phone is listed under a fictitious name, and he’s never applied for a social security card or a driver’s license. He has a horror of some imaginary Big Brother turning him into a number and knowing all his private secrets.