I was certain Alec always got past third base.
“You can’t smoke in here, limp wand,” I informed him, shutting the common room door behind me. He fixed me with his arrogant stare and let out a large puff of smoke in defiance that started moving towards me, swirling up and out until my skirt did a Marilyn Monroe move, and he could see what was underneath. “You cauldron huffing ass.” I came at him and he backed away until we were at the edge of the stair landing. “If you want to see my underwear, I suggest you ask me first. I’ll show you my entire drawer. And vaping, seriously? Do you realize how utterly douchy that is?”
Grinning at me with his thousand dollar smirk, he put his vape pen to his lips and took a long pull. Pushing his jaw forward, he let the stream of smoke out like he was a dragon. “I’ve never seen other girls care how douchy I am. They seem to like it, in fact. It’s one of my best qualities.”
My feet stomped the distance between us until we were almost as close as before, so I could see the cool steel in his eyes. Before I started to feel that heat between us, I brought my hands up and shoved him against the bannister, but because of his towering height, his ass was level with the edge and he went sailing over it, falling out of sight.
“ALEC!” I screamed, leaning on the bannister to see where he’d fallen. Oh goddess, I’d killed him. Where was he? I couldn’t resurrect anyone yet, but maybe I’d have to try. With my pulse thrumming rapidly, I tried to see the bottom of the tall staircase, but I couldn’t see anything there. Shit, where did he go?
Alec’s snickering brought me up to where he stood, mid-air, by one of the staircase windows. “You should see your face, Neck.”
“You fuck! I thought I killed you!” My face went red and hot, and I tried to slow my heartbeat as he sniggered at me, taking another drag of his vape.
“Aww, were you worried about me?”
“Stick a cauldron up your ass, Santa,” I taunted, picking up a random candle from the bannister and throwing it at him, but he moved at the last second, gliding effortlessly through the air. I watched him settle in flight, and he walked down the empty air as if it was a runway made just for him until his feet settled on the bannister and he stared down at me, grinning.
Stomach, you did not just flip over. We’re not getting butterflies for this twit. He doesn’t deserve them.
“You can fly?” I stated the obvious, feeling like a dumbass.
He nodded and opened his lips to let out a puff of smoke. “One of the few who can. You’re lucky, I’m not sure I’d trust you to resurrect me if I’d actually fallen.” He walked down invisible stairs and stood in front of me again, his vape pen between his teeth.
“Yes, well, if you get your ass killed, have fun finding another necromancer to do the deed. Oh wait. There aren’t any. Peace out.” I held up my middle finger for him and twirled to go down the stairs. “I’m also late to class, so try dying on someone else’s schedule,” I threw over my shoulder, almost falling down the stairs in my haste.
I practically tumbled into the right classroom, and the entire class looked up at me from their rows of cauldrons like I was a television that had just turned on. The teacher, someone I didn’t know, scowled at my tardiness.
“Miss Neck,” he said blankly, his green suit looking exactly like the Riddler, minus the question marks. “There is no excuse for your absence at the start of class. Are you under the impression that I will make exceptions for your unacceptable behavior simply because you haven’t been at school for five years?”
Witch’s balls.
“No, umm… sir.” I thrust my pointer finger at him, grimacing. “I don’t know your name.”
He was taken aback and scowled at me again. “I taught you potions for three years, Miss Neck. Apparently my lack of impression on you is the explanation for your surliness. Necromancy earns a demerit.”
The class snickered and I froze, wide eyed. “What the shit?”
“Two demerits,” the professor threatened. “Would you like to make it three, Miss Neck?”
I’d like to stick something sharp and prickly up your ass.
Glaring and grinding my teeth so hard my head hurt, I looked up at him with enough hatred to set him on fire. “No, sir.”
“Then sit down. And I suggest you get here early next time, or it will be another demerit.” Eyes burning with humiliation, I clomped over to an empty seat next to a few girls that looked like they did Youtube makeup tutorials. In front of me on the desk was a small, empty cauldron and various ingredients in bowls and bottles that I would need. “Ladies, please share your book with Miss Neck. I doubt she’s prepared well enough to have her own.”
That little frick.
One of the girls looked over at me like I was something she’d stepped in, and opened her potions book to herself, making sure I couldn’t see. “Are you ready, drop-out?” I picked up the largest bottle, magically purified water, the potion base that went into the cauldron first. Once that was done, she leaned back into her chair with a smirk. “First ingredient, fresh boogers.”
I turned from my cauldron and glared at her. “Be serious, come on.”
She shrugged and her friends giggled behind their cauldrons. “I’m just reading it for you. Don’t blame me if the ingredients are as gross as you are.”
I wasn’t about to add boogers to the potion so they could laugh at me and take a picture for Instagram. “Next, please.”
“Hmm,” she mused, fussing with her perfect blonde ponytail. “It says a hair from someone extremely ugly. Yours will work.”
“Let me guess. Is the next ingredient ‘your mother’s butt?’”
Jumping up, she pointed at me and waved to the professor. “Sir, Jaz is swearing. She said ‘butt.’”
“You just said butt too!” I countered, standing up and knocking my chair over.
The professor accepted the narking and turned his wand to me. “A third demerit for Necromancy.”
Throwing my fists out, I shrieked out a scream of frustration that was so loud, I felt my hearing recede. My scream went on and on, all without me needing to take another breath, and when I resurfaced, the potions classroom was littered with broken glass and ruptured cauldrons, and everyone was staring at me like I was a hungry velociraptor about to eat all of them.
Pulse rapid, breath coming in short, ragged gasps, I wiped at the sheen of sweat that had appeared on my forehead and looked around at the wreckage.
Had I done that?
“Miss,” the professor squeaked, clearing his throat to gain enough courage to speak. “Miss Neck, report to the headmaster’s office immediately.”
I stormed out, disturbing the stack of papers littering the floor as I went.
5
Demonic warning
When I arrived outside the headmaster’s office, I found someone already sitting at the benches to the side of the office, the place where we waited to see the headmaster and potentially get detention.
The other person was Alec, as if we’re surprised.
I sat at the bench across from him and dumped my bag next to me, crossing my arms over my chest and staring out the large window at the end of the room.
“Let me guess,” Alec started, and I wanted to throw my bag at him. “You were caught behind the greenhouse too?”
Rolling my eyes, I tightened my arms around myself. “I don’t vape.”
He took a pull of his pen and laughed at me. “I didn’t say I got caught smoking.”
That made me glance over at him, trying not to be intrigued, but failing miserably. “Ahh. Trying to feel up Candace Cauldron?”
“Close,” he said, letting the smoke out of his mouth, smiling at me like he had a dirty secret. “Her twin, Cole.”
“Ohhh. You’re gay. That makes sense.”
He coughed out a laugh, holding his fist over his mouth to block his wheezing. “I literally took a peek at your panties and your first guess is that I’m gay? I’m pansexual, just to clear the air. Meaning I’d glad
ly look down the pants of every adult here, including Professor Tate who goes by Debra now.”
“Why weren’t you behind the greenhouse with her, then?”
Alec shrugged, taking another pull from his pen. “I had to take Cole down a notch.” The smoke expelled from his mouth and swirled around, looking like a chariot with horses. “He said some very unflattering things about my new friend.” I almost asked who he meant, but his face said the answer. Assuming we were friends was a stretch, though.
“So your response was giving him head?”
His grin lit me up all over. “Oh, I was the recipient this time. But yes. I have my methods, as I’m sure you have yours.”
“Mine are more ‘crash and bang’ instead of ‘let’s bang.’”
Folding his leg over the other, he looked out the window as he pulled from the vape pen. “Yes, destroying the potions classroom in a rage after earning three demerits, I’ve heard.”
“How did you—”
“Twitter.”
“But it just happ—”
“Twitter.”
I fell against the wall and groaned, my eyes twitching as I held in another scream. “Those little middle school twits. I just want to learn how to raise the dead without trying to kill people and make more work for myself. Is that too much to ask?”
Alec sucked in a slow breath, holding my eyes as he took another pull, looking deadly serious for once. “If you become my girlfriend, they’d leave you alone.”
I barked out a laugh and relaxed against the bench. “Nice try, Claus. I don’t date men who vape. Or who kiss Cole Cauldron, for spell’s sake. Seriously. Any guy here is better than him.”
“The offer stands.” Meeting his steady gaze again, my stomach fluttered as it forced me to imagine what kissing him behind the greenhouse would be like. I didn’t have to try it to know he’d be demanding and would take what he wanted from me, making sure he rocked my world until my previous experiences paled in comparison. “No one would dare mess with you if you were mine.”
“Pass,” I said flippantly, even though I’d love a shield against my classmates. Having Alec as my shield would no doubt come with strings attached, and I’d been through enough to not trust anyone outright, especially boys like him, no matter how much I wanted to kiss him.
He turned his head to the side in a shrug. “I guess Santa isn’t coming to town, then.” He grinned, laughing at himself, and it brought out a few reluctant giggles from my lips.
“You’re not allowed to make those jokes if I can’t make them too,” I complained, trying to keep my face straight.
His deep stare returned, stopping my giggles as my heart picked up speed. “I can do whatever I want, Jaz.”
“Except vape on campus,” someone interrupted, turning our attention to Headmaster Cauldron, standing outside his office and looking at us like we were enormous disappointments. “I don’t care what you do behind the greenhouse, as long as it’s not smoking. We have children here, Mr. Claus. Let’s not give them cancer before they turn eleven.”
“Lighten up, Cauldron. Vaping doesn’t give people cancer.” Alec stood up, staring down at the headmaster, and he held out his vape pen that promptly disappeared as if it had never existed. “Illusion, Headmaster. You remember I’m good at them, being that it’s my specialty.”
“Why would you make an illusion of vaping?” I felt the need to ask, even if I knew it was because he was just that douchy.
He emphasized that by smirking at me. “It seems one of your reasons for not dating me just… disappeared into thin air.”
“Oh my god,” I said, eye-rolling hard enough to knock my head off.
“Regardless,” Cauldron continued. “Don’t do that type of illusion on campus. I mean it, Mr. Claus.” Alec nodded, stuffing his hands into his blue pants pockets. Cauldron then turned to me. “And as for you, Miss Neck. Destroying the potions classroom isn’t the best way to start your term here. I asked you to keep it civil. I hope I will not have to repeat myself on this issue again.” I bowed my head, feeling more than a little humiliated. “You are both dismissed. If either of these matters come up again, it will be detention and five demerits. Dinner is in half an hour, I suggest you go down to the dining hall and sit quietly until it starts.” He gave us both a look and went back into his office.
As soon as the door shut, the vape pen was back in Alec’s hand and he took a pull, snorting the smoke out from his nostrils. “Good old, Cauldron. Didn’t even mention I was caught with his nephew. Also, to counter your other issue with me, I never said I kissed Cole.”
“God, you’re terrible,” I grumped, picking up my bag and leaving the hallway for the staircase.
Alec was right behind me, matching me step for step. “Now that’s something I’ve never been told before.”
“Is everything that comes out of your mouth sex related?” I reached a landing and put my hand on the bannister, sliding it across the stone and trying to calm my suddenly rapid pulse. A puff of smoke came around me and ruffled up my curls.
“Only when I like the person I’m talking to.”
I turned on the landing and he was right up next to me, puffing from his pen again. Ignoring my body’s reaction to his proximity, I stared up at him as seriously as I could muster. “I don’t trust boys like you. And I don’t date boys I don’t trust. I’ve been through enough for the past five years, I don’t need to add a flake like you to the list.”
Eyebrows pulling together, he twirled his pen and then put it into his back pocket. “I’m not a flake.”
Prove it.
Though I didn’t say it, his expression told me he saw it on my face all the same.
“Jasmine,” a voice said from the hallway to our left. Professor Halace approached us in her beautiful bitchy glory. Her eyes appraised Alec, her lip curling at him in disgust, and she looked back at me with a pinched face. “I should’ve known you’d find Alec. Two rule breakers together, things are bound to go sideways.”
Looking severely annoyed, Alec’s hand shot out and he gripped my wrist, pulling me closer to the bannister. “Always a pleasure, Halace,” he threw over our shoulders before grabbing me by the waist, and he jumped over the bannister with me in his arms.
Free falling through the many floors of the staircase, I screamed and grasped at him with my arms and legs in utter terror, the stairs passing us by in a blur.
This mother caster was trying to kill me.
When I’d said all my prayers and accepted my fate of dying before I could see what happened on the next season of the Handmaid’s Tale, we stopped with a halt several inches above the ground of the bottom floor, and Alec’s face was full of mirth as we hovered in the air.
“Last stop.”
“I just pissed myself, you arrogant twat, put me down!”
He obliged, dumping me the last few inches before landing on top of me, expelling all the breath from my lungs.
“At least now you can say I swept you off your—” I cut him off, slapping his perfectly chiseled cheek as hard as I could. Wide eyed, he felt his jaw to make sure I hadn’t broken it. “Yeah, I deserved that. Good call.” He got up from on top of me and offered me a hand that I refused, rolling on my heels and getting up on my own.
I left him behind, stomping over to the dining hall and wrenching one of the doors open, my feet echoing in the big hall as I walked past the long tables and found a random seat at the end of one.
Alec was right behind me, sitting on my bench, prompting me to get back up and walk to another area of the room. “Jaz, come on. I’m sorry, okay? I was just… messing around.”
I hard ignored him, which got easier once the rest of the school came in and drowned out anything he might’ve tried to say from across the room.
The woods beside the school were just the thing to calm my mood after Alec’s dumb ass move of dropping us off the stairs and plummeting to our deaths. I paced the edge of the forest, seething with rage that I tried to quell by wildly sh
aking my hands.
“Bad day?” Gilbert asked, appearing above me with his gentle smile.
I scoffed a laugh. “Well, I made a friend. And then he dropped us off the seventh floor landing just to show off, so yeah. Fun fun fun. Pretty sure he’s just trying to get into my pants, among other things, and other pants.”
Gilbert floated low and stood in front of me. Weirdly, I found myself wishing he was solid so I could put my arms around him. “Maybe you should try to resurrect something? Magic is soothing to the witch’s soul. It’s what we’re made of, what powers our hearts. Just do some magic and you’ll feel better.”
Scoffing, I kicked at the dirt around us, but the idea was gaining speed inside me until I started walking inside the forest, searching for something to resurrect. A squirrel. A bug maybe. Just something dead. Dead like my reputation, and Alec’s stupid face after I was finished with him.
It didn’t take long before I found a little mouse, hidden inside some tall grass, but somehow I just knew it was there without seeing it. I picked up its little stiff body, long cold with death, and brought it to the clearing where Gilbert waited for me.
As before, I rooted through my bag for herbs and candles, along with my stick of chalk, and I drew a circle before placing the items here and there and lighting the candles.
“I wish I knew what I was doing,” I said, observing my work as I sat back on my heels. “It might die again like before.”
“You’ll improve with time,” Gilbert encouraged, coming to sit beside me. “You knew what to draw, you knew what herbs to put out. The more you do this, the more you’ll understand it.”
Looking side-long at him, I wondered just who he used to be before now. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing, not specifically the necromancer stuff, just teaching magic. I wondered if he used to be a professor at Highborn, and if he had, there would definitely be records. Maybe even sketches in one of the yearbooks. He looked back at me and I turned away, placing the mouse inside my circle and sitting up on my feet.
Neck-Romancer: A Neck-Romancer Novel Page 5