So how was he supposed to deal with missing eighteen years?
Kristina sat in the corner of the rehearsal room, out of view of the dancers moving in rhythmic unison at the far end. The show's choreographer, Felix, had asked her to come and sit in on that day's dance rehearsals. Usually, she would’ve waited until the final ones, just to work out blocking. But he’d reworked the choreography to make it less suggestive and wanted her opinion on the changes.
As usual, the camera crew was there, recording her every reaction.
So far, she liked what she saw. The two new girls were at the top of their game and seemed to be jelling well with her regular dancers.
The music was loud and thumping and her eyes were focused on the girls, so she didn't see Tamia come in. Her sister grabbed her arm with such intensity, Kristina jumped.
"Xavier—“
Kristina gripped Tamia’s hand and leaned over, crossing her legs in an exaggerated fashion as she tilted her head toward the camera crew a few feet away. Tamia got the hint and took notice of the microphone pack at Kristina's waist. Tamia nodded slightly and sat, keeping her mouth shut.
The moment Felix announced he was giving the girls a break, Kristina took off her mic and went to the producer.
"Kristina, we need to—“
She handed the mic pack to Paul and put her finger up. "I'll be right back. I promise. I just need to run to the restroom."
She grabbed Tamia’s hand and they took off.
Once they got to the bathroom, Kristina peeked out the door to make sure no one had followed them.
"We need to be careful. Paul still has Amy snooping around and he puts me on a mic every chance he gets.”
Although they were alone, Kristina still kept her voice low, so Tamia responded in kind. "Xavier will be here in a few days!”
"What? Why? Is everything okay?"
“He’s fine! He’s great! And he’s coming here!”
Kristina could tell by her sister's giddy demeanor that there was more to it. "Why?" She asked the question but wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.
Tamia grinned, took her sister’s hand and led her out of the bathroom, to the back door and out into the parking lot.
And there, as Kristina stood on the loading dock, completely unprepared, she saw him.
Chapter 8
Although Omar had seen Kristina on television and in magazines over the years, none of those images came close to how beautiful she was in person. She had no makeup on and wore a t-shirt and jeans. Instead of the superstar he’d come home to find on his DVR so many times, she was just Krissi, the girl he thought he would get to spend the rest of his life with.
It was his dream come true, but from the way her face went slack the moment she laid eyes on him, he realized she didn’t feel the same. For a moment, he was sure she was going to turn and run back inside. So he smiled, hoping to reassure her. Kristina remained planted where she stood, but didn't smile back. Tamia, however, did and waved him over.
Omar approached them and Tamia said she'd have Felix carry on with rehearsals and that she’d stall the producer so they could have a few moments of privacy. She turned to walk away, but Kristina wouldn't let go of her hand.
When Omar saw the panic in Kristina’s eyes and realized his presence was the cause, it broke his heart.
Maybe his coming hadn’t been such a great idea, after all.
Tamia whispered something in her sister's ear and after a few moments, Kristina released her hand and Tamia left.
Kristina couldn't stop staring at his face. She’d tried, innumerable times over the years, to imagine what he’d grown to look like. But all she could ever see was that seventeen-year-old kid. At first glance, he looked so different. Like a stranger. But when she looked into his eyes, she recognized the boy that was her best friend. And that's when something inside her clicked.
All at once she became painfully aware of her appearance. She didn't have on a stitch of makeup. Not even some mascara or a touch of lipgloss. Just cherry Chapstick. She didn't want to reach up to fix her hair and draw attention to it, but she knew it was sticking up on her head.
He smiled at her and it brought up a mix of memories. Good and bad. She had to look past his face and over his shoulder so she wouldn’t cry.
He came up to her, so close that she had no choice but to look directly into his eyes. And when she did, she saw that they were damp and filled with emotion.
He put his arms around her, drew her to him and whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry. I never should have left you alone. I'm so sorry."
Kristina’s breath caught in her throat. In his arms, she was sixteen again. But instead of being alone and afraid, her heart was full to bursting. She let her head rest on his shoulder as the tears fell from her eyes.
When she looked up at him, he wiped the wetness from her cheekbones and smiled again. But the moment was interrupted when the stage door abruptly opened and Kristina jerked to turn away from it. The intruder turned out to be some kid with earphones and music so loud, he didn’t even notice them.
In that moment, Omar realized what it was like for her to have millions of strangers interested in every little detail of her life.
“Let’s talk somewhere more private.”
He took her by the hand and led her to his Range Rover. He opened the passenger side door and after she was in, got into the driver’s side. The windows were tinted and he hoped it was enough to make her feel less exposed.
For a while they sat in silence.
Finally, he said, "Xavier."
And for the first time, she smiled. It was a genuine smile. Not the polite grin she flashed the interviewers or paparazzi.
"Xavier," she said.
The sound of her voice was like music to him.
"I'm still trying to wrap my head around it."
"Me, too. I have an eighteen-year-old son." She shook her head in disbelief.
"Tamia said y’all just found out."
“Not even a full year now. Mama was full of surprises." He could hear the small, but noticeable trace of bitterness in her tone.
"At least, this is a happy one."
Kristina leaned her head back against the headrest and smiled again. "You're right. It is."
Omar leaned his head back, too.
It was just as he’d hoped. The first few moments may have been bumpy, but now, they were settling in to familiar territory. He could see the tension had gone from her shoulders and she no longer looked as if she’d take the first opportunity to escape.
He opened his mouth to ask her a question, but was cut off by the growling of her stomach.
Kristina sat straight up, her eyes wide. He couldn't help it, he laughed.
"Now look, if you want to have lunch with me that bad, all you have to do is say so."
She covered her face. “I’m so embarrassed.”
He laughed and started the car. “Seat belt.”
She looked back at the door of the rehearsal studio. He held his breath, waiting.
“We’ll come right back?”
He nodded.
She buckled up, a grin on her face. “You’re buying.”
Kristina had to make a concentrated effort not to stare at Omar as he placed their order at the drive through. Which was difficult, being that it was all she wanted to do. That, and pinch herself. Because how in the world could it be so easy? Like no time had passed at all?
“And an extra side of pickles, please,” he said, winking at her.
As they ate, Kristina wondered how it was possible. How could you go that long without seeing someone and then just pick up where you left off? But that’s what it felt like. Like the world had turned and changed, but they remained the same.
He caught her looking at him out of the corner of her eye. Instantly, she felt her cheeks go hot. He laughed again.
“Yeah, I see you over there looking at me. What? You trying to figure out why I kept aging while you stayed the same?�
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“No!” She said, her voice much louder than she’d intended. “Not at all. I was wondering… We haven’t seen each other in eighteen years, but it feels more like eighteen days.”
He shrugged. "Not quite eighteen years."
"Well, yeah, you’ve seen me on TV and everything but—“
"I'm not talking about any of that.” He set his tray on the dashboard and used a napkin to wipe his mouth. He turned slightly in his seat to better face her. “Remember the concert you did for the soldiers in Norfolk?”
"Of course,” Kristina said, taking another bite.
"I was there."
Kristina stopped chewing, covered her mouth and swallowed. "You were there? At that concert?"
He nodded. “That’s where I was stationed at the time."
"But why didn't you come to me?"
"I almost did. I had it all worked out with one of my buddies. He was part of your on-base security detail and arranged for me to see you after the concert."
"Wait a minute…" Understanding dawned on her face. "That was you? He never mentioned the name." Her eyes narrowed and she shook her head. "But we waited. He even called, but no one ever showed. What happened? Why didn't you come?"
Omar balled up his paper napkin. "Because I was at a bar getting drunk with another soldier."
Kristina raised her brows and her mouth formed a little oh.
"Yeah." He drew the word out, long and slow, debating whether he should stop there or tell the whole story. He decided on the latter.
"I had flowers and everything. It was all planned out. I was going to profess my undying love." He chuckled. "I don't know. I’d been living with this fantasy of the two of us somehow meeting up again. Even after you hit it big, I thought it would happen. So when I heard you were doing a concert there at the base," he shrugged a shoulder. "I just knew. I knew it was the moment I’d been hoping for. Praying for. What I hadn't anticipated was you announcing your marriage and bringing your new husband onstage.”
Kristina shut her eyes and stifled a groan.
His name was T-Dogg Payne. He'd been one of the rappers featured on her new album and they were married within a week of meeting. It lasted three long and tumultuous years.
"I'm sorry."
It seemed insufficient. But she didn't know what else she could say. She put her unfinished food in the bag, suddenly not able to take another bite.
"What happened after that?"
Omar looked up at the ceiling of his car and exhaled deeply. "You know that soldier I was getting drunk with?"
She nodded.
He squinted. "I married her the next day."
"Wow."
"Yeah. Not one of my shining moments." He rubbed the back of his head. "Actually, I could say that about the next few years. I quickly realized it was a mistake and took any deployment they would let me go on. That went on for a while. Then our daughter was born and I stayed home more often. It didn't take long for us to realize it was even harder being married when we were actually living in the same house. Chloe wasn’t even a year old when we separated."
“Chloe.” Kristina smiled. “I always loved that name. Please tell me you have pictures.”
“That’s all my phone is. A storehouse of Chloe memorabilia.” Omar navigated to his photo gallery and handed her his phone.
“Look at that little face! She’s an angel!”
“She really is. Probably the one and only thing I did right in my life.”
Kristina swallowed hard. “Yeah. I know that feeling…” Her voice trailed off and her expression grew solemn.
He wondered if it was due to the same kind of regret he felt on a regular basis. The regret that nearly suffocated him when he thought about the choices he’d made and the moments he’d missed.
But he hadn’t wanted to make her sad. In fact, it was the exact opposite of what he’d intended. With only a short time to spend with her, he wanted to make her smile for every second of it, if possible. And he knew just how to do it.
Still somber, she opened her mouth to speak, but he covered her lips with his finger. He grabbed the food bags and got out of the car to toss them in the trash. Once back inside, he started the car and said, "I hope you still have room for dessert."
Omar came out of the grocery store with a bag and put it in the backseat so Kristina couldn't see what was inside. Then he restarted the car and parked at the empty end of the lot.
"What are you doing?"
Omar grabbed his iPad from the backseat. He grinned and arched an eyebrow. "Patience.”
He set the iPad up on the dashboard and retrieved the grocery bag from the backseat. When he revealed its contents, Kristina folded over in laughter.
"I haven't had this in… Oh my goodness, since I was sixteen!"
He handed her a Moon Pie and a can of RC Cola. "But wait, there's more!” he said, in his best TV infomercial voice.
He tapped the screen of the iPad and a movie started playing. She put her hand on her chest and looked at him.
"How many times did we watch this?"
"However many times it took to wear the tape out."
Mahalia Langston was like a warden when it came to Kristina and her sisters, so she and Omar devised an imaginative plan to spend time together. They told her mother they’d joined the school choir, so they had a cover for the afternoons when Omar's parents were still at work.
The "rehearsals" were actually the two of them sitting in his basement, watching movies and eating sweets her mother never allowed her to have.
Then, like now, she'd watch the movie while he watched her. He loved the way she’d throw her head back and laugh. The way she'd hide her face each time Eddie’s character made a fool of himself. The way she always fell asleep before the movie ended.
Back then, she'd tell him, “Don't let me fall asleep”. But of course, he always did. Just so she would sleep with her head on his shoulder. Then he could lean his head over on hers and breathe in the scent of her hair.
Now she was across from him, her head leaned back on the seat, fast asleep.
As he watched her, he thought about the night that changed everything. The one time they were together. He wondered if their lives could've been different. If he was never sent to military school, could they have toughed it out and raised their son together?
His chest ached at the thought. But he knew there was more to it than that. If they’d stayed together, there'd be no Chloe. That thought was just as heartbreaking as the knowledge of everything he’d lost.
As the end credits played, Omar turned on the overhead light. Kristina's lashes fluttered and she opened her eyes. She looked at him, a content and sleepy smile on her face. But then the serenity turned to panic. She sat up and looked out the windows. The sun had gone down and the parking lot lights had turned on.
"Oh, no. What time is it? Pam is going to kill me."
Chapter 9
Despite the fact Kristina was walking through the front door of her own house, she couldn't help but feel like a teenager that had stayed out too late. On the drive over, she imagined a dozen different ways Pam was going to let her have it. And she couldn't even blame her.
Pam took the brunt of everything for Kristina. She was the buffer between her and the label, the production company, the press, and everything else out there. When things went wrong, Pam was the one that had to deal with it.
Paul, the TV show producer, was forever trying to make sure none of them were hiding anything from him. Though he took it a bit too far, the truth was, Kristina had promised unprecedented access to her private life. Ducking out in the middle of rehearsals after saying she just needed a few minutes in the bathroom must have made him livid. No doubt Pam had spent the entire afternoon trying to smooth things over.
Kristina hadn’t meant any harm, but she’d messed up and she knew it. She wasn’t looking forward to the onslaught her sister was sure to throw at her, but deep down, she knew she had it coming.
On
ce they arrived, Kristina went straight to the office that Pam kept at her house. She put her hand on the knob, took a deep breath and opened the door. Pam was pacing back and forth in front of her desk and stopped the moment she saw Kristina.
She came to Kristina, took her face in her hands and examined her eyes.
Kristina had expected Pam to yell at her until the light fixtures shook. But this reaction was worse. Pam was trying to figure out if she was high.
Once she realized she wasn't, Pam took her hands away and stepped back, the expression on her face unreadable.
"Pam—“
Pam put up her hand to stop Kristina and grabbed her phone off the desk. She navigated a few screens and came to Kristina, holding the phone out in front of her.
"You see that? Thirty-two calls. And that's just the ones I refused to answer. What did I tell you the day you got back from rehab?"
"That they weren’t coming to film behind-the scenes tour footage.”
"Exactly. They're not coming to film behind-the-scenes. They're here hoping they'll get a whole lot more.” Pam tossed the phone onto her desk.
"You weren't gone fifteen minutes before Paul started calling me. Thirty minutes after that, he was calling the head of the production company and then she started calling me. Next thing I know, TMZ is calling your publicist and he's calling me because he needs a statement to address the rumors that you’ve fallen off the wagon. And I don't have to tell you how quickly a rumor can turn into a news item, do I?"
Kristina shook her head.
Pam sat against her desk and crossed her ankles. "I need to know now. Are you in or are you out? Because I'm not doing this again, Kristina. I mean, dealing with all of them out there? That I can handle. But having to do that when you're intentionally sabotaging the situation?” Pam shook her head. "I won't do it."
“Sabotage? But—“
“What else do you call it when you up and disappear like that? The production company was on my back because of a crew that's being paid to just sit around and wait. Since you left, Felix couldn’t run the last three songs for your approval, so we have to squeeze that in elsewhere. You have fittings that had to be rescheduled and a dozen other things that I needed to talk to you about, but I couldn't get a hold of you.”
Then Sings My Soul (The Langston Family Saga Book 2) Page 5