What she thought was that he was wonderful. Spence had announced that he wouldn’t make love to her tonight. He had no ulterior motive for telling her how he felt, yet he was struggling to put tender emotions, emotions men seldom expressed, into words. “I’m listening,” she murmured, gazing into his eyes. “Tell me.”
“I see the future, Jill,” he said. “I have the uncanny feeling I’ll be looking into those green eyes of yours twenty, thirty, forty years from now. I’ve been married before, and I never had that feeling, even then.”
A shiver ran down her spine. “Are you sure it’s not the persuasiveness of a very dear old man that has you thinking this way?”
“I tell myself that all the time.” His dark gaze searched hers. “And then I look into your eyes.”
“I know what you’re talking about.” She ran her tongue over her lips. “I have no business being here tonight, but I…couldn’t leave.”
He nodded. “I saw the struggle on your face, and I saw you give in to it. When you did, something clicked into place for me. Oh, Jill,” he murmured, pulling her close and cradling her head against his chest. “You’re like a gift.” He chuckled softly. “A gift I’m determined to take my time opening. But when you’re in my arms, and I can smell your perfume and touch your hair—” he leaned down and combed her hair behind her ear “—and kiss all the soft places waiting for me…”
Jill sighed as his breath tickled her earlobe.
“This little heart drove me wild this afternoon.” He outlined the earring with his tongue. “A flash of red against that white skin… I wanted to grab you, in front of everyone, and…mmm, that’s it, relax a little… Just…relax…”
Jill’s eyes drifted shut as his lips caressed her throat, her chin, her cheeks. Vaguely she realized that despite all he’d said, Spence was a practiced lover and she had better remain on her guard. But this seemed so innocent, this trail of kisses that soothed her like slow music. His hands stayed in one place, pressed against the small of her back while his mouth played over her face and throat.
Muscles tight from the long day eased and her head fell back. “This is better than meditation,” she murmured.
“I should hope so.” Kissing the corners of her mouth, he began a slow massage along her spine.
“Ever had chiropractic training?” she mumbled as his gentle kneading gradually transformed her into a rag doll.
“Never.” He nuzzled the hollow of her throat.
“You’d be very good at it. You’d—” She stopped talking as he kissed his way down to the first button of her blouse. Somewhere amid all the relaxation he’d cultivated, a seed of desire was growing, and Jill knew that innocence had ended when his lips reached the barrier of her clothing. And she wanted him to go on.
He stopped kissing her; his hands were still. She opened her eyes and met his intense gaze. Then slowly he reached for her wrist and unfastened the button at her cuff.
“You won’t forget what you said?” she whispered, her heart thundering as he moved to the other sleeve.
“I won’t forget.” He held her gaze and paused at the top button at the front of her blouse. “Can you trust me not to?”
“I have…no choice,” she breathed, breathless with the need to be touched.
Fire burned in his eyes. He nudged the button from its mooring and stroked the valley between her breasts with the back of his hand. She gripped his shoulders, her legs growing weak.
One by one the buttons surrendered to his steady advance until at last he drew out the hem of her blouse and finished the job. Taking her hands from his shoulders, he slid the garment down over her arms and tossed it on the chair. Without looking away, he unhooked her bra and threw it on top of her blouse. Only then did he shift his gaze to her unfettered breasts. A shudder eddied through him.
Her nipples tightened under his attention and a sweet throbbing began deep within her.
“Lie with me,” he whispered.
She couldn’t have remained standing had he asked her to. Weak with desire, she nodded.
He led her to the iron cot and kicked off his still-laced running shoes.
She followed suit before stretching out on the worn blanket. “Take off your shirt,” she whispered.
He tugged the hem of his turtleneck free and crossed his arms to pull it over his head. She watched, relishing the way he sucked in his flat belly as he whipped the shirt over his head. She’d imagined his muscled beauty from the outline beneath his shirt, from the feel of his body against hers. Now she held out her arms to the reality with a thrill of anticipation.
The springs of the old bedstead squeaked under his weight as he lay down and gathered her to him. He sighed deeply when she pressed her aching breasts against his chest, rubbing back and forth, tantalizing him with gentle friction.
“So soft,” he murmured against the curve of her neck. “So soft, except here…” He moved away a fraction and stroked her nipple with his thumb.
Sensation rippled through her, and he stroked her again, absorbing her shiver of delight. And again, as his mouth found hers and he delved knowingly inside. She arched her back, thrusting her breast into the waiting palm of his hand and moaned as he gently squeezed her heated flesh.
Rolling over her, he levered himself on one elbow and caressed her while exploring her mouth with a thoroughness that left her gasping. Yet she knew this was only the beginning. He gazed down at her, then braced his arms on either side of her and kissed her chin, her throat, her collarbone…
A wanton madness took hold of her, and she cupped her breasts and offered herself to him.
“Oh, Jill,” he breathed, and eagerly took the nipple she lifted toward his mouth.
The moist suction swirled from her breast through her body and she moved restlessly, sensuously. He moved his hips against hers, but layers of denim denied them the contact they craved. Still nuzzling her breasts, he moved to one side and fumbled with the snap of her jeans.
“Spence,” she gasped, afraid his control had dissolved; hers was certainly disappearing fast. This passion had ignited far more quickly than either of them could have anticipated.
“It’s okay,” he breathed against her skin. “It’s okay.” He opened the zipper, and slipped his hand beneath the elastic of her panties.
The shock of his touch, right where she needed so desperately to be touched, made her groan and close her thighs against his assault. She was drenched with desire, and if she allowed him to touch her again, he’d soon know how quickly he’d aroused her to a fever pitch.
“Don’t close me out,” he murmured.
She turned her face away. “You must think I’m shameless to want you so much, so soon.”
“Shameless?” His voice was thick with passion. “I hope so. Shame has no place here with us.”
“I thought we could…just hold each other. I didn’t mean for this—”
“Hush,” he crooned, burrowing his fingers through the triangle of damp hair. “Let me make you happy.”
Her thighs began to tremble as he coaxed them apart. She looked at him through dazed eyes. “Men don’t act like this.”
He smiled. “They don’t? Then maybe you haven’t met the right man.”
“What—what about you?”
“Don’t worry about me.” He began a slow, sensuous rhythm with his fingers. “Tell me how this feels.”
“You know. You must know.”
“How could I? I’m a man. Tell me.”
“An ache,” she said, breathing hard, “but a good ache. Heat. Winding up tight, like the…spring…on a watch.”
“You’re beautiful,” he said, brushing her mouth with his. “Your eyes are so bright.”
“Spence…” She arched upward as he penetrated deeper.
“Let go, Jill.” He caressed her with firm strokes. “Let it happen.”
“I can’t—I—oh!” Ecstasy seized her and her cries of wonder were muffled against his mouth as he covered her lips with his own, drink
ing in her passion.
As her cries subsided, his kisses became feather-soft and he accompanied them with whispered endearments. Gently he refastened her jeans. Stroking her back, he cradled her on the narrow bed.
She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her lips to the mat of hair on his chest. “This seems unfair,” she murmured.
“No,” he said softly. “I loved doing that for you.”
“But you must be suffering…”
“I can take it,” he said, combing his fingers through her tumbled hair. “Maybe I even wanted to prove that I could, to you and to me. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why things didn’t work out in my marriage. I’ve decided a lot of it had to do with selfishness, on both our parts.”
“What just happened was certainly unselfish of you,” Jill said, looking up into his face.
“Maybe.” He smiled at her. “The funny thing is, I enjoyed every minute, although there was a little, uh, added pressure to deal with. But I think that was good for me, for a change.”
“Have you had so many lovers?”
“No,” he said gently. “No. But when I’ve wanted someone, I’ve been an impatient man who demanded compliance from her, immediate gratification for me. It occurred to me that there was a better approach. At least, I hope it was better.”
She traced the laugh lines around his mouth. “I don’t think you have to wonder.”
“Feed my ego. Tell me anyway.”
“I’ve never felt more vulnerable in my life…or more cherished.”
He gazed at her with satisfaction. “I like that. And you were.”
“Which? Vulnerable or cherished?”
“Cherished.” He cupped her chin in one hand. “Definitely cherished.”
She absorbed his delight at having pleased her. Deep within her echoed the memory of tension that he’d released so gloriously, tension that he must still feel. She eased away from him and slowly located the fastening at the waistband of his jeans.
“No.” He covered her hand.
“Don’t argue,” she whispered, pressing downward, encountering his fullness.
“I didn’t expect…” His voice faltered as she rubbed her hand over the taut denim.
“I know.” She reached for the fastening again and this time he didn’t stop her. The zipper parted easily, assisted by his thrusting manhood.
He gasped as she drew the elastic of his briefs down and wrapped her fingers around him. “Now who’s vulnerable?” he asked, breathing hard.
“Cherished,” she murmured, sliding her hand down the smooth shaft. She trembled with excitement at the prospect of experiencing his passion this way first. He must have felt the same sense of daring discovery with her, she thought, caressing the silken length of him. She pressed a sensitive spot with her thumb and he moaned. “Good?” she asked, watching his face.
“You know it.” His eyes closed as she stroked more firmly. “Jill…yes…that’s so…”
“I’m glad,” she said, understanding his unspoken words of praise. She could tell his control was slipping, and she touched him more boldly, seeking his final surrender. He moaned again when she increased the pressure and pace of her seductive rhythm. At last he tensed, then cried out as his warmth cascaded over her hand.
Long moments later he slowly opened his eyes and sighed happily. “So much for altruism.”
“It seemed only fair.”
“Lady, that was several grades higher than fair.”
“Good.”
“A few moments ago I had myself talked into letting you go back to your campground tonight. Now I’m debating whether to ask you to come home with me.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes. But no.” He pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and gently wiped her hand. “We’ll put our clothes back on, and I’ll walk you to your van. I’ve got to learn patience. One of the reasons I’m at odds with Tippy Henderson is that I allowed myself to blow up at her instead of quietly trying to change her mind.” He adjusted his clothing and climbed from the small bed.
“Is that what you’re trying to do with me? Quietly change my mind?”
He helped her to her feet. “If you’re talking about your friend Aaron, yes.”
“I…I’ve thought about Aaron a lot recently.”
“That’s discouraging,” he said, fastening her bra and kissing her bare shoulder. “I’d rather you thought about me.”
“I’ve thought about you, too.”
“I’m glad.” He slipped her blouse over her arms and pulled it closed across her breasts.
“I don’t love Aaron,” she said, looking deep into his eyes.
“I could have told you that.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He grinned. “I had more fun proving it.”
“Mmm.” She smiled at him. “But loving him or not loving him doesn’t change what I have to do. I intend to be back in Maine before my birthday, as planned. There’s still G.G., and more important, there’s me. Finishing this trip on time has become tied to my self-respect. Can you understand that?”
“I can try.”
“No matter how much I want to, I can’t stay here any longer than we’ve agreed. I can’t risk jeopardizing my schedule.”
He sipped lingeringly at her lips while he refastened her buttons. “In that case,” he murmured, “I’ll have to give you plenty of reason to come back.”
She didn’t doubt that he could. His lazy kisses were making her regret their mutual decision to end the evening.
He finished buttoning her blouse and backed away. “Now we’d better get your coat on, and the rest of my clothes, before all this virtuous self-restraint flies out the window.” He put on his shirt and picked up her coat from the chair. “Here you go. I’ll walk you out to your van.”
His pronouncement struck a sour note with her; it was something Aaron might have announced he’d do, to protect her. “That’s really not necessary. I’ve been walking myself out every night so far. And I’m not naive. I carry mace in my shoulder bag.”
He smiled and took his own jacket from a hook on the wall. “I’m not doing this for you. Undoubtedly, after seven months on the road, you’re perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. It’s one of the things I admire about you. But I want to see where you live so I can picture you dreaming away inside your van tonight.”
“It’s kind of an old van.”
“Then I’ll bet you make small repairs on it yourself, too.”
“A few,” she admitted.
“Come on Wonder Woman,” he said, chuckling as he took her arm and guided her toward the back exit of the store. “You’re beginning to make me feel inadequate, with all these talents of yours.”
As they stepped into the cold, dry air of a Colorado winter night, Jill had a startling insight—Aaron was intimidated by her various abilities, and that was why he teased her about being mistress of none of them. She’d always envied Aaron because he’d decided on his career early. She supposed he was a good dentist, although when he worked on her he was rough, but Aaron knew precious little about anything besides teeth and gums.
“I don’t believe Aaron loves me any more than I love him,” she said, her breath fogging the air in front of them.
“Probably not,” Spence said, tucking her hand into his coat pocket. “But where did that come from, all of a sudden?”
“Oh, I was just thinking.” She walked with him over the frost-encrusted asphalt to the pool of lamplight where her van sat in the nearly deserted parking lot. One of the other three cars in the lot had to be Spence’s, she thought, and guessed it might be the black Trans Am. “Did you mean what you said about feeling inadequate around me?”
“Well, men are conditioned to imagine they’re superior to women in some areas.” He glanced at her and grinned. “Like plumbing, for instance.”
“But you really don’t feel inadequate, do you?”
“Fortunately, no. I was teasing you back there
. Shoot, with your ideas, we’ll stymie Tippy the Lip in no time. I consider myself lucky to know a woman like you.” He laughed. “One who could fix my sink, work on my car and paint me a picture to hang over the fireplace, all in the same afternoon, probably.”
Jill laughed, too. “Not quite.”
“Seriously though, I do.” He released her hand and put his arm around her shoulders as they neared the van. “I do consider myself lucky.”
“That’s good. That’s very good.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “Do you have this Aaron business figured out, then?”
“I think so.”
“That’s a relief. After the way you kissed me that first night, I couldn’t imagine there was much between you. But still, I have a conscience and the guy’s not here to protect his interests.”
“I know now that he never had any interests to protect. It’s hard to believe that a week ago I thought I might marry him someday. That seems incredible to me, after…” She hesitated. The wonderful moments they’d shared seemed too intimate to discuss out here in the impersonal emptiness of the parking lot.
His grip tightened around her shoulders. “Nothing’s been the same for me since the first night I held you.” They reached the van and he brought her around to face him. “You’ve been in my thoughts nearly every waking minute, and lots of the sleeping ones, too. Charlie thinks there’s something magic about Valentine’s Day, but the magic’s already happened for me. You’re incredible, Jill.”
“You too,” she murmured, wanting to kiss and be kissed, and to forget all this nonsense about going slow and sleeping alone tonight.
He closed his eyes. “Oh, Jill, if you only knew what that liquid look of yours does to me.”
Her heart pounded. “Are we being silly to wait?”
“No.” He opened his eyes. “But I have to get you into this rolling apartment and on your way before I crawl in after you, drugstore or no drugstore.”
“There are twenty-four-hour drugstores,” she said, hardly believing her own boldness.
“Don’t mention them. I’m a weak man.” He steered her around to the driver’s side of the van. “I sure wish you weren’t leaving town so soon, though. I’m trying to understand this deadline you’ve imposed on yourself, but—” He stopped and stared at the van for several seconds. “Okay,” he said with a lopsided smile. “I know when I’m beat.”
Forever Mine, Valentine Page 9