by Kari Miller
Katherine opened her mouth to speak but only a chocked sob fell forth from her lips. She felt as though her heart was bleeding and her throat was closing in on her. Although Salvador never promised her fidelity, she had assumed that he was faithful to only her and that she was enough to keep him happy. She shouldn’t feel betrayed over her assumption, but she was. Her heart had finally found happiness and now as short lived as it was, it was breaking.
“You will keep this little meeting of ours to yourself, won’t you Katherine?” Allison questioned, confident she knew the answer.
Katherine could only nod. She couldn’t even look at her. Her vision blurred with the sudden onslaught of tears spilling out and before she knew what was happening, her knees gave out and she barely caught herself as she crumbled to the ground in defeat.
A ray of sunshine caressed her cheek. Wilting away from it, she covered her head with her arms and bent over as she cried into her knees. She wasn’t aware of anything anymore, just the hurt and pain that cluttered her heart. A sudden vision of Salvador making love to this woman passed through her agonizing thoughts and she felt herself gasping for air that would not come.
She felt a firm grip on her shoulder and jumped at the contact. Raising her swollen tear filled eyes; she shrank back as Peter knelt down in front of her, gripping both of her shoulders to steady her in his powerful hands.
She drooped her head down in defeat and closed her eyes, wishing for him to have not seen her like this and for him to just be a figment of her imagination.
Suddenly she was being lifted and cradled against his chest. Without looking up, she nuzzled her face into his chest, trying to hide her face as he walked towards her horse.
He somehow managed to lift himself onto her horse while still cradling her into his chest and then heard him whisper into her hair to hold on as his grip on her tightened and he kicked the horse into a gallop.
She had managed to stop sobbing, but felt dead inside. She didn’t want to talk or to think. She just wanted to lie down in bed and sleep – possibly forever. The thought of her husband taking that woman into his embrace was nothing but a stab of pain. The same hands that caressed her at night caressed his mistress during the day. Feeling nauseated at the thought and wanting to retch, she found that even that was too much trouble. For now she felt safe within Peter’s arms and was thankful that he didn’t push her to speak.
“You there!” Peter called out with a controlled temper.
Katherine’s heart stopped. What if he found Allison? She could not let them know that she knew of her. When had she left? Did Peter see Allison before he found her?
“Are you Lady Katherine’s escort?” Peter demanded as he pulled up his reins.
Katherine refused to move and felt the threat of another bought of tears as she remembered Allison’s face and full figured body that would tempt the saints!
“Aye, she took off before I was fetched. I was just coming out to find her.” She heard the man say in defence.
He was right and of course he should not be punished because of her, but Katherine could not find the strength to open her mouth to defend the man – more or less open her eyes. Another tear trailed down her cheek as visions of her husband and this woman danced in her mind. Would she ever accept the situation? She could if she didn’t love him. Why did she have to be so stupid as to fall in love with him! Love had done nothing but hurt her in the past and now she felt the greatest hurt of all. Worse, she hadn’t realized that she had fallen in love with him until just now.
Peter rocked her gently while holding her closer and trying to soothe her.
“Ride back to the manor and have her maid draw her bath.” Peter ordered as he once again kicked the horse into a gallop.
When Peter eventually slowed the horse and halted it, she could smell that they were in the stables. She refused to open her eyes, to do so would mean to face reality.
Peter swung himself off the horse without losing a grip on her and then carried her into the manor. He carried her up the stairs and turned sideways as he entered her chamber.
Katherine could hear the running water in the bathing chamber and could smell a hint of witch hazel in the air. Peter strode away from the running water and seated himself in a chair while still holding Katherine on his lap.
Katherine instinctively curled into him and buried her face into his chest to try and hide the pain she knew was written all over it.
He held her like a Father would a child and rocked her back and forth.
“Katherine honey, are you hurt?” She heard him coo to her in genuine concern.
Was she hurt? No, she was broken.
Another sob threatened at her and she had to swallow it down.
“Katherine?” He gently prompted her.
Katherine shook her head but said nothing. How would she explain this? Even now she couldn’t gather up a fake smile to reassure him and she needed to find an explanation before Salvador came home.
Just thinking his name made her cringe.
Had he rode into town to meet with Allison today? Was he at her townhouse waiting for her? Could Katherine really share him with another? She knew the answer was no.
“Sweetheart, what happened?” Peter prompted her again.
Katherine’s heart squeezed from within her and her shoulders shook from her silent and tearless sobs as she cried for the loss of her hopes of him ever loving her.
She had finally found herself with a family that she adored and a husband who doted on her. She thought that she had lived through hell only to come out rewarded with a happily ever after. Where in those fairy tales was it written that the prince charming lived happily ever after with his wife at home and his mistress in town? This was no fairy tale and Salvador was not her Prince. How could she have so misjudged his character?
“Oh the poor Dear! What has happened to her?” Sarah shrieked from somewhere within the room.
“Is her bath ready?” Peter responded to her instead.
“Yes My Lord, if you would excuse us I will take care of her now.” Sarah informed Peter with concern laced in her tone.
She panicked when she felt Peter shift and his arms start to unwrap from her. She didn’t know why, but she needed his strength. She really did look at him as extended family and that was really all she had.
Katherine only realized that she was clutching onto Peter’s jacket when he placed his hand gently over hers.
“I won’t leave you.” He reassured her as though he knew what panicked her.
Peter wrapped his arms around her again and rose from the chair. He carried her into the bathroom and stopped short in front of the tub.
“Honey, I’m going to put you on your feet. I’ll hold onto you while Sarah removes your dress.”
Behind them she heard Sarah gasp.
“You will leave her shift on and I will avert my eyes.” Peter reassured Sarah.
Strangely enough, Katherine couldn’t care less. As long as he continued to lend her his strength she didn’t care what manner he found her in. She was more humiliated at him seeing her as weak as she was than anything else.
“’tis not right My Lord, Salvador will not approve of this.” Sarah scolded him.
“I will not leave her like this and what she needs right now is to be surrounded by warmth. Now do as I say Wench!” Peter hissed at her.
He slowly let down her knees until her feet were touching the floor but continued to support her upper body. Her body was trembling and if not for Peter she would have crumpled to the ground.
Sarah sighed her disapproval but did as she was bid. When Katherine was in her shift, she was immediately lifted and then gently lowered into the bath.
The water was deep enough that it reached up to her collarbone. Her muscles melted and her head lulled back against the rim of the tub – falling to the side.
“Look at me Katherine” Peter gently command her.
She scowled but couldn’t find the strength to do as he
requested. He still held her up from beneath her armpit for fear that she would slide beneath the water if he did not- he was correct in that assumption.
“Look at me” He commanded again, this time with more authority in his tone.
When she failed to respond once again, he loosened his grip on her and made to remove his hands.
Katherine gasped at the sudden loss of support and her eyes flew open to meet his, pleading for understanding.
She squinted against the light and then made to close her eyes again.
“Oh no you don’t.” he gently reprimanded her. “Look at me” He commanded her again.
When she did, she was staring into the face of a man that was worried sick.
“I will stay with you until Salvador returns, but I must know what caused this” He informed her gently.
What would she say? She couldn’t lie but she couldn’t tell the truth. She scowled again but said nothing.
“The poor lamb” She heard Sarah whisper from the corner.
Eventually Katherine’s eyes slowly shut again and he allowed it. She let the warmth of the water ease her aching muscles and the silence in the room help calm her resolve.
She could not mention her meeting with Allison no matter how much she wanted to demand that he drop his Mistress. Mentioning Allison would only put a wedge in their marriage and she wanted him to be faithful to her on his terms, not hers. She could only resolve to harden her heart. She would withhold her love from him if that was at all possible and protect what was left of her heart from further breakage. She wouldn’t lie to Peter about why he found her in the state that she was; she would simply omit and refuse to elaborate. She never believed in lying, it was dishonourable and as much as her husband’s relationship with Allison hurt her, she had to accept that she was not the only wife who had to share her husband. She would be dutiful to him but she would never make the mistake of giving him her soul. She didn’t want to lose the Brotherhood and their wives. She was more grateful to Peter than he would ever know for the strength that he gifted to her. If not for him, she would still be crumpled in the forest crying out in despair.
Peter’s grip on her tightened and then she was being pulled out of the tub. She was immediately wrapped in a large towel by Sarah and then carried back into the bed chamber by Peter. Sarah rubbed Katherine down with the towel while attempting to hide the majority of her body from Peter.
“I’m going to let go of you Katherine so Sarah can get you out of your wet shift and put you into dry clothes.” Peter warned her as he slowly released his grip from her.
The moment his hands left her, she started to tremble at the loss and a sound of despair escaped her lips before she could stop it. Sarah lifted the shift off of her quickly and towel dried the rest of her. She then put a dry shift on her and wrapped her in her robe, tying the robe string tightly around her.
The moment she was done, she felt herself being lifted once again and placed back in Peter’s lap as he sat in front of the fire.
He placed her so that he could hold her comfortably but she could stare into the fire without having to strain herself.
Sarah gave Peter a glass of whiskey and then pushed a glass of whiskey into Katherine’s hand.
“’twill help My Lady” she explained as Katherine took the glass.
She sipped at it and welcomed the burn as it trickled down her throat.
When half of her glass was drained, Katherine sighed and continued to stare into the fire. She felt her heart hardening as the minutes ticked away and felt a loss at how it felt to give it freely.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Peter prodded gently.
She knew she had to give some explanation. She at least owed him that much.
“I was picking mint” She started and then tried to clear her voice.
“I was thinking back to when I lived in the cottage and the way my life was back then…then I…panicked.” She stumbled out. It was not a lie…just a very tiny portion to the actual event.
“What panicked you?” He prompted her to continue.
“Doubts, fears and other emotions I have no name for.” She confessed.
She felt horrible that she was misleading him as to what brought on those fears, but it was better than the truth.
Before he could prod her further, the door to the bed chamber opened and a sound that suspiciously sounded like a growl filled the room.
Chapter 20 - Tongue Tied
Peter’s arms momentarily tightened around her and then slowly relaxed when he turned his head in the direction of the sound.
“What is this?” She heard Salvador’s accusing voice from the doorway, barely containing his temper.
Katherine panicked at his voice. It was one thing to think about withholding her love and keeping her hurt from him, it was another to act on it when he was with her. At first the pain rushed back and threatened to break her again. She clutched onto Peter for dear life as her body began to tremble with hurt, until she realized that he was accusing them of infidelity when he himself found pleasure with that whore! A sudden rush of fury crossed her features and she had to hold herself back from leaping across the room to scratch his eyes out, in fact - if Peter wasn’t holding her in a tight embrace, she was pretty sure she would have already done so.
She couldn’t look at him. She stared into the flames and tried to bury her fury and hurt as to not give away her knowledge of his mistress, but it was so hard.
She looked up at Peter and he was studying her face with a curiosity she didn’t like. It was as though he was trying to penetrate her thoughts and read her soul.
Within a flash, Salvador was in front of them and ripping her out of Peter’s lap. She cried out as his fingers buried themselves into her flesh and his traitorous body slammed against hers as he forcefully drew her against him.
Peter stood up in an instant and faced Salvador head on.
“Brother, calm yourself and remember who I am.” Peter growled out to him.
Katherine peered back at him and saw that his fists were clenched at his sides and he was shaking in his fury.
Salvador was also shaking as he gripped her to him. She thought about him gripping Allison to him in equal passion and sobbed out, ripping herself out of his grip and stepping away from him.
She didn’t mean to and only realized her mistake when she was well out of his reach and staring into his furious gaze.
Peter’s body broke the trance as he stepped into view and clutched her shoulders.
A low growl broke from Salvador’s throat but he did not move. Peter ignored him as he searched Katherine’s face for something she wasn’t sure of.
“I need to speak with Salvador, will you be ok by yourself or do you want me to send for Sarah again?” He asked in a gentle voice that did not reflect his body language.
“I want to be alone” She replied without tone or emotion in her voice.
Peter pulled her into a final embrace and then gently let her go, strolling past Salvador towards the door.
Salvador still did not move and she couldn’t for the life of her look at him. All the emotion had drained from her and again she felt like an empty shell. No longer could she stand his touch - the touch that she used to yearn for. Now she was truly alone, more alone than when she lived at the cottage. She wanted to run away but even that bore no hope for her.
She could feel Salvador’s gaze burning into her – willing her to look at him. But she could not.
Peter cleared his throat from the doorway and she heard Salvador stir, a moment later she was alone as the door softly clicked closed behind them.
She had no more tears left to shed. She willed her legs to move and finally found herself curled up in her chair, once again losing her thoughts in the flames of the hearth.
~
Salvador led Peter downstairs into his study and then flinched when Peter slammed the door behind him.
He swirled around to demand an explanation but instead gr
eeted Peter’s fist with his face.
A blast of white stars danced behind his closed eyelids as he stumbled backwards into the wall. He had to shake his head to keep himself from losing his wits.
Salvador looked up at Peter - stunned!
“How dare you even think I would lay a hand on your wife with anything more than brotherly intent!” Peter bellowed out in fury. “The fact that that would even cross your mind has me doubting you Salvador!”
It’s true that he jumped to conclusions when he saw them curled up in his chair - in his chambers. His wife wearing nothing but a robe and her wet hair sprawled across Peter’s chest. What was he to think!
“Put aside your fury Peter and put yourself in my shoes. Think about what I would see when walking into my own bedchamber.” Salvador spat back at him as he rubbed his jaw and tested it to see if it was broken or just bruised.
Peter paused for a moment then sighed as he turned to the liquor cabinet to poor them a drink.
“So why the hell was my wife curled up on your lap baring half of her person to you?” Salvador growled out as he went to take a seat.
Peter handed him a drink and then sat across from him to take a sip from his own glass.
“I found her today at the edge of your property, alone in the forest and crying her heart out as though she grieved greatly.” Peter started and then took another sip from his glass.
“As you know I remained at Charles after all of you left and I was walking his property when I heard her. She was so grieved that she crumpled into my arms when I lifted her off the ground. I brought her back to the manor and had Sarah draw her a bath. Salvador, I swear she was holding onto me for dear life when I tried to release her. She ended up bathing in her shift while I held her above the water. I don’t even think she was aware that she was trembling the whole time. It was a good 3 hours before I could even get her to speak, more or less open her eyes.”