Yancy’s handsome face was etched with pain, but he didn’t back down from Ace’s anger. “Because I never met an Irish girl who made me feel the things your mother does,” he said.
“If you just want to get married, it makes little difference whom you choose, but if it’s love you’re looking for, lad, it just happens, usually when you least expect it. I wasn’t looking for love or a wife when I first saw your mother, but from then on, I knew I’d never be happy without her. It was either make her my wife or be miserable the rest of my life.”
“So you decided we should all be miserable.”
“I wasn’t thinking of that. I only thought of us sharing a life together. Yes, it’s been challenging at times, but I have no regrets beyond the fact that you’re the one who suffers most.”
That was the moment that he’d told Ace that the things in life defined you, destroyed you or helped mold you.
Ace’s mother, who had been listening, had added that she had no regrets, either. “Love can soothe a lot of hurts, Asa,” she’d told him. “And if love finds you, you should embrace it and be glad.”
At the time, suffering as only a young person could, their answers seemed selfish. Now he understood what they’d meant, but the difference was that he wasn’t sure he could place that burden on any woman. Ever.
He knew what he needed to do, but decided that it wasn’t something that needed doing at that moment. There were things he had to finish before he bowed out of Meg’s life. He fell asleep wishing things were different, recalling the sound of his blunt challenge to her hanging in the cool night air.
* * *
When Ace woke, a gray dawn was just creeping over the landscape. As he rose and stretched, he heard the shuffle of the horse’s hooves, the muffled snorting of the pig they would slaughter in a couple of weeks and the rustle of chickens in the nearby coop. He glimpsed a barn owl overhead, a ghostly gray silhouette gripping something in its talons.
There was already a light in the kitchen and he figured his mother was up making the morning coffee. Grabbing a rough muslin towel from a stack of his belongings, he walked down the frosty trail to the creek to take a bath in the cold water. Once he was done, wide-awake and shivering, he donned clean clothes and made his way back to the house.
When he passed by the still-glowing embers of the fire, a rush of memories bombarded him. He could feel the warmth of Meg’s slight body pressed so closely to his and the touch of his lips on hers. Gritting his teeth, Ace stomped up onto the porch and stepped through the back door. The aroma of fried chicken made his mouth water. Chicken at breakfast?
His mother and Meg were up and busy. Nita was setting the table and Meg was stirring gravy. They both looked up when he entered the room, but his mother was the only one who offered him a smile of welcome. Meg just looked at him with a combination of hurt and confusion in her eyes.
Ace stared back at her, hoping his own misery didn’t show. Even though his heart was revolting against his will, he was convinced that he was doing the right thing by not encouraging her to believe there could be anything more between them than there already was.
“Kids still asleep?” he asked.
“Yes,” Meg said, dragging her gaze from his. “I thought I’d wait until breakfast was ready to get them up. They had their baths last night, so it won’t take long to get them ready.”
“No hurry. We have all day.” He went to the shelf hanging on the wall, took down a cup and poured himself some coffee from the big granite pot that sat in the middle of the table.
“I’m not sure all day will be long enough for Teddy,” Nita said. She gestured toward the coffeepot. “That should still be hot. I just moved it from the fire a bit ago.”
“It’ll be fine,” Ace assured her, pulling out a chair.
“I fried some chicken earlier and made some extra biscuits. I thought I’d treat us to some cold sarsaparillas from Gabe’s and we could take it to Jackson’s Grove and have a picnic down by the creek at lunchtime.”
Ah. That was why he smelled chicken. “Sounds good,” he said. “I bet Teddy will love it.”
“I hope so.”
“He’s really looking forward to the day,” Meg said without looking up from her chore. “He loves going to the mercantile and looking at all the penny candy. It takes him forever to choose.”
“That’s a mighty big decision for a boy that age,” Nita said, smiling.
“It’s a pretty big decision for boys of any age,” Ace told her and earned a brief laugh.
“What about you, Meg? Do you have a hard time choosing candy?”
“Not really. I’d much rather have a piece of Ellie’s pie, which I’m planning on us all doing this afternoon. I’ve been saving my mending money,” she explained. “After all you’ve done for me the past few weeks, a little treat is the least I can do for the two of you.”
“That isn’t necessary,” Nita said, but Ace knew better than to say anything. Meg Thomerson was a woman with a lot of grit and pride. How else could she have done what she had since her marriage?
“Necessary or not, we’re having pie and coffee. It’s settled.”
Nita looked at Ace and he shrugged. He’d already tangled with the tenacious Meg, and his only option the night before had been to toss out a challenge and retreat.
* * *
Teddy sat next to Nita in the backseat of the wagon, and Meg held Lucy on her lap. Both children seemed content to watch the passing scenery, and Teddy asked a dozen questions about things he saw along the way.
The late October day was autumn perfection. A gentle breeze turned the colorful leaves into a shifting mosaic of glorious reds, rusts, hues of yellow and dark purple. A dove sang its mournful song, promising more rain, and patches of black-eyed Susan and purple aster dotted the swaying knee-high grasses that grew alongside the narrow road. It was a picture-perfect day for the hour-long trip. Meg dreaded winter coming, when she would have to make the twice weekly journey alone in the wet and cold.
Nita, at least, was a good traveling companion. Ace was quiet, speaking only when a comment was directed to him. The ride into town passed quickly, and by the time the buildings of Wolf Creek came into view, Teddy was literally bouncing up and down on the wooden seat.
Knowing that the boy wouldn’t be happy until he got to go to the mercantile, Meg was pleased when Ace looped the rig’s reins around the hitching post. He helped the ladies and children alight near the door and said he was headed to the jail to visit Colt since he wasn’t one for shopping.
Gabe Gentry, the store’s owner, turned when he heard them at the doors. The usual batch of old men sat around the potbellied stove, engrossed in their daily game of checkers. They barely glanced up when the four entered. A blue spatterware coffeepot sat atop the stove, sending out the pleasant aroma of coffee.
“Nita Allen and Meg Thomerson!” Gabe said, coming around the counter where he’d been applying a feather duster with some vigor. He was smiling the smile that had set many a feminine heart aflutter before he’d settled down with Rachel earlier in the year.
Nita greeted him with a soft hello and a smile.
“Hello, Mr. Gentry,” Meg said.
“Call me Gabe.”
“Oh, I couldn’t,” Meg protested.
“Well, I understood from Rachel that you’re her newest friend, and anyone my wife calls a friend usually calls me Gabe.”
“That’s very nice of you,” she said, a bit discombobulated by his sincerity. “I’ll consider it. How’s Rachel?”
“She’s wonderful, but then, everyone knows that. A better question might be how you are. You’re looking very well.”
“It’s been a long rough road,” she told him, “but I’m feeling better every day, thanks to your wife and Nita and Ace.”
“I knew they’d be a bles
sing to you if you’d let them,” he said.
Gabe glanced over at Teddy, who was slowly inching his way toward a counter, where large jars of brightly colored candy were lined up for display. Gabe winked at Meg and Nita.
“Take your time, Teddy,” he said. “There’s no hurry.” He turned his attention to Lucy. “She’s really growing, Meg. And she’s so pretty. Looks like you.”
Meg felt herself blush to the roots of her hair. “Thank you.”
“We’re all sort of hoping for a girl this time,” Gabe said, reminding them of Rachel’s pregnancy. “Even Danny.” The mention of his son brought a gleam of pride to Gabe’s eyes.
He glanced from Meg to Nita. “So, is there anything special that you need, or did you come in for Teddy to buy candy?”
“Actually, I was hoping you had some shoes in Lucy’s size. She’s grown so fast that she doesn’t have anything to see her through the winter.”
“I bet we can find something,” he said. “Nita, I have some new printed calico that came in last week if you want to look it over.”
“Thanks, Mr. Gentry.”
Gabe shook his head at her continued formality and led Meg to the section of the store that displayed shoes. In the end, Meg chose sturdy brown shoes in a size a little larger than Lucy needed at the moment so that she could wear woolen socks to keep her feet warm and in hopes that she could at least use them until the following spring.
Gabe was down on one knee and lacing up the second shoe when he looked up at Meg. She knew instantly that something was on his mind. Without warning, a frisson of alarm shot through her. She stilled, every sense on alert, as her mind thought of and culled half a dozen possibilities.
“What is it?” she demanded, unable to draw a decent breath for the sudden panic unfurling inside her.
“Your mother and Charlie are in town,” he told her. “I thought you might want to know.”
Dread, so heavy it threatened to suffocate her, rose up inside Meg. “Where are they?”
“I saw them go into Ellie’s earlier, but they headed down the street toward the old newspaper office a bit ago. I guess they wanted to check out the new library.”
Somehow, Meg dredged up something that resembled a laugh. “To my knowledge, Georgina Ferris and Charlie Green have never read a book in their lives.”
Gabe tied Lucy’s shoe and stood. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to ruin your outing, but I thought you might want to know. Maybe you can avoid running into them.”
“I certainly hope so. And thank you, Gabe. I am grateful for the warning.”
She and Nita spent another thirty minutes or more looking over things in the store. Meg knew the older woman suspected that something had happened, but she didn’t want to ruin Nita’s day, so she kept quiet. They walked through the store, taking turns carrying Lucy, marveling over the slipper-shaped tub and the collection of pretty laces and buttons on the dry-goods shelf. Meg ran her hand lovingly over the green-and-white enamel stove. Teddy was fascinated by a carved wooden tool set that he said was “just like Ace’s.”
Meg and Ace had already had a set-to over him letting Teddy call him by his nickname; Ace argued that he was hardly the “Mr. Allen” type. She also knew Teddy was becoming very attached to Ace, and she was already starting to worry about what would happen to the child when Ace left and never came back, which, in light of their devastating conversation the night before, she was convinced would happen sooner rather than later.
“They left the library,” Gabe said with a guilty smile. “So if you plan on going there, now might be a good time.”
Meg smiled back. “I don’t expect you to spy for me, but thank you. I think I’ll pay you for our purchases and we’ll head that way.”
Several minutes later, they entered the new library. The former newspaper office was hardly recognizable. The plaster walls were lined with head-high shelving that was filled with books, more than Meg could imagine anyone owning. The library appeared empty, and Meg was glad, since it meant she could visit without fear of disturbing anyone.
Libby Granville was sitting behind a mahogany desk, a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles perched on her nose, reading a newspaper. She looked up when she heard Teddy say, “That’s a lotta books!”
“Meg! Nita!” Libby cried, getting to her feet and rounding the desk. “What a wonderful surprise!” She hugged each of them in turn.
“I’m returning the books you brought, and I thought I’d get one or two more, if that’s all right.”
“It’s more than all right,” Libby said. “Teddy, there’s a chalkboard over there on the wall. Why don’t you draw us a picture while I show your mother some books she might like?”
Teddy’s eyes lit up with pleasure. “Look, Mama, I’m in school, too,” he announced proudly. No one bothered to correct him.
“Your mother just left,” Libby said.
Nita looked over at Meg. “So that’s what’s wrong.”
Meg gave her an apologetic smile. “Gabe told me she was in town, and I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to ruin your day. I’m hoping we can avoid her.”
“This day is our treat,” Nita said. “I’m not going to allow anyone to spoil it.”
Meg sighed. “You don’t know my mother.”
Chapter Twelve
“Come on,” Libby said, deftly changing the subject. “There are a couple of books over here I think you might like.”
“I’ll keep an eye on Teddy and Lucy,” Nita offered.
“Just put Lucy down and let her roam. There isn’t much in here for her to get into.”
Libby led Meg to the far end of the room. When they reached the spot where the books for Meg were shelved, she said, “I’m so sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Meg assured her. “I can deal with my mother. I’ve had a lot of experience.”
“I’m sure you can.”
They spent the next several minutes discussing the merits of some titles Meg might enjoy. She finally settled on Vanity Fair for herself and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer to read to Teddy.
“Something’s bothering you,” Libby said, once Meg had made her decisions. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“You may be the only person who can help.”
Libby looked at her with raised eyebrows.
Meg took a deep breath to work up her nerve and plunged in. “I’m worried, Mrs. Granville.”
“Libby,” she corrected her gently. “What are you worried about?”
“My children’s futures.”
“That’s normal,” Libby said. “All mothers worry about that to some extent.”
Meg shook her head. “It isn’t the everyday getting by that worries me—there’s nothing wrong with struggling to make ends meet—but I’m so afraid that Teddy will grow up to be like his father. How do I keep that from happening? I want him to be a good man, not one filled with hate, and anger and dishonesty and...and cruelty. I—I hoped that since our circumstances were similar, you might be able to tell me how to keep that from happening. Your boys turned out just fine, even though they lived with their father for so many years.”
To Meg’s surprise, tears sprang into Libby’s eyes. “Oh, Meg,” she breathed. “I see now why you thought I might be able to help you, and you’re right. Lucas Gentry and Elton Thomerson might have been two peas in a pod. I was devastated when Lucas forced me to leave Caleb and Gabe with him. I prayed over the same fears you’re going through every day for twenty years, and the only assurance I had that they weren’t like Lucas was an occasional letter from one of the hired hands or a note from a friend.”
Libby gave a sad shake of her head. “I’m afraid I can’t offer you any help, but you do have an advantage I didn’t. You’re still able to be a mother to your children and influence them eve
ry single day.”
“You’re right,” Meg said. “I’m glad for that, but I’ve made some bad choices.”
“We’ve all made some bad choices,” Libby told her with a wry smile.
“How do I stop Lucy from making the same mistake you and I made?” she asked the older woman. “I want her to be smarter than I was. I want her to know when a man is lying to her, and if she does choose poorly, I want her to be strong enough to walk away without looking back, no matter what people might say about her. How can I do that? How can I keep her from being like me, or like my mother, for that matter?”
After a lengthy pause, Libby said, “I don’t think there are any guarantees when it comes to bringing up children. It’s unfortunate, but making mistakes is how we gain wisdom.”
Meg thought of her mother’s life. From the time she began to understand what was going on in her house, she’d prayed not to be like Georgina and had tried her best to emulate her aunt. She said that to Libby.
“I suspect that all we can do is discourage the bad things we see and encourage the good, the way your aunt Serena has done with you. You made a mistake, Meg. That’s different from choosing a life of wrongdoing.”
“I know, but I still worry.”
“Of course you do. That’s what mothers do best. And we can also be good examples.” Her quick smile caused little crinkles to fan out at the corners of her dark eyes. “Children do watch and imitate what we do, you know—good or bad.”
Meg thought of how Teddy had started taking on the way Ace stood and tried to help him with whatever project he was working on.
“I’m convinced that the most important thing we can do is bring them up to love the Lord and pray and trust that He will be with us and them. Even then, sometimes they can go astray. But it’s possible that people who grow up in terrible circumstances can become wonderful people, too. Like you.”
She gave Meg a gentle smile. “Yes, it was a mistake to marry Elton, just as it was a mistake for me to marry Lucas. No one I know blames you for your husband’s wrongdoings, Meg, and they certainly don’t blame you for your mother’s. In fact, it seems that almost everyone in town has great admiration for you.”
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