“The window. What if…”
He snarled and reached over, grabbing the blinds and hauling them down. Then, his mouth took mine as his hands went between us. One worked his pants down. The other worked…me. When he found me wet and waiting, he groaned, then tucked the head of his cock against my entrance, thrusting in.
Like earlier, it was hot, desperate, fast.
We’d never been like this before, but then again, we’d never had the need or such desperation.
I was close to coming when he stopped abruptly. I cried out, frustrated, but then he went to his knees and pressed his mouth to me. I wailed, the sound of his name bouncing around the room. He lashed me with his tongue, nipped my clit with his teeth, and drove me straight over the edge.
Then he hauled me up and pulled me with him to the bed.
But when he started to tug me down on top of him, I pushed his hands away, going to my knees in front of the bed.
I took him in my mouth. He grabbed the sides of my head and thrust up. My throat burned, but I didn’t pull back like I normally did. I needed him, so much of him, all of him. The fear that was burning in me drove me on and I lifted up just enough to grab more air, then sank down lower.
LeVan growled, the sound vibrating through his body, and he muttered something low under his breath, something I couldn’t make out. But I knew he liked what I was doing, so I took more.
“I…fuck…Thea, I’m gonna come. If you don’t want…”
Always before, he’d stopped.
Always before, I’d let him.
But this time, I didn’t let him…so he didn’t.
My eyes were still watering, my throat still burning when he pulled me up onto the bed a moment later.
And he was still hard.
He flipped me onto my back and came inside me, his mouth taking mine.
Desperation, I realized, could be a drug.
So could fear and need and desire and want.
The two of us were lost to it, high on it, binging and crazed.
And for a little while, I stopped thinking about just what had me so, so desperate.
It was early the next morning before either of us tried to speak about what was going on, what we’d do—what I would do.
LeVan barely slept.
I slept restlessly, but my mind was busy working the puzzle.
She had someone following me.
Someone watching me.
If I could figure out who it was, then I could figure out how to get away…right?
Surely nobody had guessed that the redhead who left the apartment last night had been me. How could they have? We’d deliberately imitated the look of another girl who lived there and I’d taken my roommate’s car instead of mine.
We couldn’t do that forever, but I’d find other ways.
“I’m not giving you up, LeVan.”
He lifted his head and stared down at me.
“I’ll…figure something out. Nobody followed me last night. I know that.” I’d gotten off and on the highway several different times and once, I’d left it behind altogether and not once had anyone stayed with me. “If I have to buy an entire wardrobe of clothes and wigs so I can fool people, then I’ll do it.”
His mouth tightened. “And we’re back to sneaking around. Aren’t we getting too old for that?”
“I have to protect Nicky,” I whispered. “I can’t think of any other way. Can you?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it. Sighing, he lowered his lips to mine. “If this is how you want to play it for now, we can. But don’t expect me to spend my life hiding in your closet, pretty girl. I can’t do it.”
17
Six Years Ago
LeVan
“It’s cancer.”
Just over a year had passed since Thea had shown up at my door that night, dressed in a red wig and clothes that had highlighted every one of her long, subtle curves.
A year.
A fucking year of keeping secrets about us.
Now, the two of us were tucked away at a bed and breakfast in Breaux Bridge. It seemed like it was a thousand miles away from the rest of the world—and from the taint of Melody Kent, but that taint of hers was like a cancer. Pretty fucking hard to get away from. And what made it more difficult all round was the woman had gotten divorced from Jack just months earlier. It meant that in all likelihood, Melody Harlow would need to lean on Thea.
I’d known something was eating at Thea from the moment I’d picked her up. We met at a mall in Baton Rouge and I drove around for a good twenty minutes just to be certain no one had followed us, then I would send her a text to meet me in the parking garage. She’d spent the same amount of time wandering around, in and out of stores and bathrooms.
We wasted so much time doing our best to avoid anyone who might be following us. On three or four occasions, we canceled plans because she was sure someone would see us. Four fucking weekends I’d lost with her because of Melody Kent.
Untangling myself from her arms, I sat up and stared out the window.
A cousin of mine owned this place.
It was getting harder to figure out places we could go and be alone without worrying that the private investigator Melody Kent had hired might do something like check my credit cards to find out where I was, so I’d ended up reaching out to a friend and asked if I could have a room for me and my girlfriend—and could she please not tell Mom and Dad or anyone else, okay, thanks.
She’d agreed only after I’d explained, and I still wasn’t entirely certain she believed everything I’d told her about Melody Kent. But she’d agreed, and she’d taken cash, too.
Now, staring at the floorboards, I played those words over in my head.
Cancer. I’d known Melody had to go in for tests, because she’d guilt tripped Thea into going along with her and Thea had called me later that night, talking about how snide her mother had been, and how she’d pried. “You seem to go away on weekends a lot these days. Whatever are you up to? You’re not breaking our agreement, are you?”
“I think she knows, LeVan.”
I had no doubt the woman knew.
But fuck her.
“Did you hear me?” she asked softly.
“I heard you.” Lifting my head, I stared out the window. The dark green branches of a magnolia turned it partially opaque, allowing me to see a partial reflection of Thea’s body as she sat up. “What do you want me to say? Because if it’s sorry…hell, I’m not sure I can say that without it being a lie.”
God forgive me for that, but I just didn’t know if I could be sorry.
“Sorry…” She laughed bitterly. “I’ve known for three days, LeVan. And I don’t know if I am sorry. I feel guilty for that. So guilty it makes me sick. You tell yourself you wouldn’t wish cancer on your worst enemy and this is my own mother.”
“She’s not your fucking mother. She birthed you. But she’s never been a mother to you,” I said, getting up. I grabbed my jeans from the floor and dragged them on, buttoning them before I turned to look at her. “She’s been even less of a mother to Nicky, so don’t go feeling guilty on his account either.”
“I know that.” She stared at me, her eyes miserable. “But I just…I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know what to feel.”
That misery on her face cut through the conflict I felt and I sighed, moving over to her and wrapping an arm around her. “Maybe the first thing you need to do is cry about it. Maybe she’s not really a mother to you, but she was supposed to be. It’s okay to hurt over that.”
She sniffed. “Chances are she won’t ever have a chance to be a mom, either. It sounds like it’s bad.”
“What kind of cancer are we talking about? And how bad?”
Thea sat up and that was when I saw the tears that she’d been trying to hide. They fell down her cheeks silently, but she met my eyes. “It’s liver cancer. They say they’re lucky they caught it when they did, because it’s still treatable. But…” She paused and swipe
d at the tears, taking a deep breath. “Even those who get treated? Not even fifty percent make it to the five-year mark.”
I let that figure hit me—and it did. Hard.
My stomach churned as I breathed in, then blew it out.
Some sick part of me wanted to laugh. In five years, this could all be over.
In five years.
And her mother was going to die of fucking cancer.
No, I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, and if I had an enemy at all, it was that woman, Melody Kent. But son of a bitch, she was a woman who had let hate eat her alive her whole life, and if hate could take physical form…? Well, the cancer was going to do to her what her hate had done for as long as I’d been alive.
Longer.
Maybe some part of me should be happy about it.
I wasn’t.
But I sure as hell didn’t know what it was I did feel.
How in the hell was I supposed to feel? This was a woman I knew had laid hands on Thea. She’d never admitted to it, even when I pushed for an answer, and that, in and of itself, was enough of an answer as far as I was concerned. This was a woman who was doing her best to keep the two of us apart out of nothing but sheer spite. This was a woman who was threatening to put her own son in an institution just to see her own ends met.
If that wasn’t some evil shit, then I didn’t know what was.
But it wasn’t any better to wish something like a cancerous death on her, and I didn’t want to come close to that line. I didn’t want to come close to feeling the hate for anyone—not even Melody Kent—that had pushed that woman into doing and saying things nobody should do or say.
Thea’s soft fingers brushed my cheek, and I looked down to see her watching me as if she knew every thought, every twisted road my mind had gone down.
“It’s a mindfuck, isn’t it?”
“Hell, yeah,” I agreed. Catching her hand, I turned it palm up and pressed a kiss to the inside. “But that dragon ain’t gonna win, not even now.”
“Dragon, huh?” Her eyes flashed, some spark of amusement glowing there.
“Dragon.” I rolled her onto her back and came to my knees over her. The long, dark silk of her hair spread around her like a cape, and I bent to kiss her softly. “Maybe she’s got some idea she’s the queen of her castle and you’re the princess, stuck under her thumb. But you’re no Sleeping Beauty and I’m not a fucking prince who’s going to wait around a hundred years for the time to line up just right. That dragon can go fuck herself. You and me are right together—that means the time is right.”
Tears glimmered in her eyes and she reached for me, pulling me down until we were face-to-face, skin to skin. “I love you so much, LeVan. And I hate all of this.”
“I know, baby. We’ll work it out. Just…trust me, okay?” I had no idea what we were going to do, but we’d work it out.
18
Thea
One week later, our time was really up.
In retrospect, I guess I should’ve seen it coming.
I should’ve realized the bright and friendly questions from Deb Stone, the girl new to our floor, would come back and bite me in the ass.
She wouldn’t meet my eyes when I left that Friday for my twice-weekly trip back home. I usually had a quick visit with Nicky but those were short, maybe a dinner or he and I would go see a movie. It was hard enough to stomach being in the house with Mother twice a week. Having to deal with her more often than that was just too much.
The new girl absolutely loved to talk, but one day all of a sudden, she barely even looked at me as I waved at her where she sat in the communal area as I passed by. Naomi hummed out a mock funeral dirge that later proved to be quite fitting. She’d be the one to hold me when I cried later that night—I’d never spend another night in Mother’s house again, not for several years.
The day seemed so…normal. Late April, the heat promising that we’d have the typical Louisiana summer, but for now, it was warm without being oppressive and the beauty of spring was everywhere.
I thought maybe I’d talk Nicky into going out for some crawfish and a movie. We’d be out late and that meant neither of us would need to deal with Mother until sometime tomorrow, assuming she even spent much time at home. She’d told me a few days ago she’d be spending a great deal of time traveling when she wasn’t getting chemotherapy. “There are things I haven’t done yet. I plan to do them.” I had no idea why she’d called me out of the blue for the short chat we’d had, but maybe the possibility that she wouldn’t beat the cancer was making her think about things.
I could hope.
I could wish.
I could remind myself that I should know better.
Mother wasn’t traveling.
When I made it home, she was waiting for me in the family room, and when I hesitated in the doorway, she waved me in. “Come, sit…we’ll be having company before long.”
“I kind of had plans with Nicky,” I lied. I didn’t want to spend time with her idea of company.
“You’ll have to adjust to our schedules, Dorothea,” she said coolly. She looked me up, then down, her lips pursing as she took in the blue jeans and striped blue and white shirt I wore with a pair of red espadrilles. “It would be too much to ask you to change, wouldn’t it? We’ll be leaving shortly to go visit a friend of mine.”
Setting my jaw, I mentally counted to ten. “I didn’t dress with plans to go visiting or for business, Mother. Nor did I pack with such thoughts in mind. Casual is all I have. If it’s that important, we can schedule a time next week after my classes, and I can meet you wherever you like.”
“No.” She waved a hand. “This concerns your brother so you’ll…have to do.”
There was a knock at the door a moment later, but Alice got to it first. She shot me a tight-lipped glance, and before I could ask her how she was, she quickly shook her head.
I blinked in surprise as Alice ushered in Deb. “Hey…what are you…”
She didn’t look at me. Not even once. Instead, she kept her gaze on her shoes as Alice gestured to the salon. Alice didn’t escort her, a sign that things were worse than normal between Alice and Mother. For a moment, Alice turned to look at me, and unspoken things passed between us. She reached out a hand toward me and unconsciously, I took it.
“You’ve always been such a good girl, Thea,” Alice said. Then, from inside her pocket, she withdrew something and pressed it into my hand.
As she walked off, I looked down, confused. The folded envelope there didn’t do my twitching nerves much good. I recognized Alice’s neat handwriting.
“Do join us, Dorothea,” Mother called from inside the salon.
My legs wooden, eyes reading the neat script of my name over and over, I moved into the salon.
My stomach rolled and pitched when I saw Deb sitting next to my mother.
Deb.
Deb Stone.
The new girl.
The dorm room chick from down the hall.
What was she doing here? At my house?
And sitting next to my mother. The dragon, LeVan had called her. And in that moment, it made more sense than ever before. Swallowing the knot in my throat, I tucked the folded envelope into my pocket and met my mother’s blue-gray eyes. My eyes were blue, and larger—they didn’t make me think of my mother when I looked at my reflection, but I had a brief thought in that moment. If I were to see my face right then, I imagined my gaze had just grown as cold as hers.
“What is going on?” I asked coolly, looking from her to Deb. “Or do I even need to ask?”
Deb glanced at my mother from the corner of her eye.
“Your friend and I have…talked from time to time,” Mother said.
No. Not Mother. LeVan had been right. She might’ve birthed me, but she’d never been my mother.
Melody, unaware of the fissure forming in my heart, continued. “She’s been so…informative, telling me about things going on at school, your projects, your grades…y
our extracurricular activities.”
“You mean the fact that I’m still seeing LeVan,” I said bluntly. “Did you ask her to spy on us, too? What’s the matter…wasn’t your little PI stunt enough to keep up with me?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it.
“And Deb? Really? What did she offer you? Some quick cash, I’d bet.”
In a way, Deb was lucky. I later learned she’d betrayed me for a few hundred bucks Mother had slipped her way during that surprise visit to my dorm, simply because Deb had loose lips and didn’t know when to shut up. But betrayal or not, she wasn’t the real problem.
As both Mother and Deb fought to find words, I had no problem saying what had been brewing, sitting at the tip of my tongue for ages. “Just how far would you go, Mother? I should’ve known you’d stop this low. To be willing to pay someone to find out if I’m fucking him? What does it matter to you anyway? You don’t give a damn about me. This isn’t even about him.”
Melody’s face went an uncomfortable shade of red and she got up from the couch. Shooting Deb a look, she flicked a hand at the door. “You may go now.”
“Oh, no…” I blocked her when she tried to scurry past me. “You were eager enough to take whatever money she paid you to spy on me. Now you can watch the fallout.”
She tried again to go around me and I held my arms out, not caring how physical this was going to get. “Try to make another go around me and I’ll put you on the ground,” I warned her.
Deb shot Melody a panicked look. “Mrs. Kent!”
“Ms. Kent, girl!” Melody barked.
I laughed. “Yes, don’t call her Mrs. She probably doesn’t want the added reminder she isn’t Mrs. Vanderbilt.” I sneered at her. “That’s what this is about…” I directed the words at Deb, but kept my eyes on Melody. “She had an obsession for a man who didn’t love her. He loved another woman. Mother was always a bigoted piece of work, I imagine, but then the guy she wanted went and married a black woman who outclassed my mother in every way—”
Risk Me (Vegas Knights Book 2) Page 10