“Why? How did it happen?” he asked.
“There was something wrong? It was her body's way of dealing with it. There had to have been something wrong that the baby would not have made it. It wasn't her fault,” Julie said, as she took his hands in hers.
“Was there anything she could have done?” he asked. “Was there something she could have done to save the baby?”
“No,” she said, as she took his face between her hands and looked into his eyes. “There was absolutely nothing she could have done to avoid this. She was so upset. You have no idea what the last few hours have been like. Becky is devastated and Gavin will be too. They are going to need all of us right now.”
“I hope they get through this. They have to be able to make it through this. Do you think they'll be okay? You don't think he'll blame her and leave do you?”
“No, of course not. Ethan, look at me. He loves her very much. Gavin will be right there with her through all of this. You know that right? Everything is going to be okay. He would never blame her for any of this. Why would you even think that?”
“I just can't deal with this. I need to get out of here. They shouldn't have gotten pregnant. This is the exact reason I will never have kids. Are you okay?” he asked.
“I have seen this so many times, just never with my own family. That baby would have been so loved. I just worry about Becky.”
“Do you want kids?” he asked.
“I love kids. I'm a pediatrician. I don't know what I would do without seeing all those bright faces and helping them each day. I don't plan to have children of my own. I will never trust a man enough for that.”
“Why not?” he asked. “Your parents are still together, and you had a happy childhood. Why would you think that way?”
He wondered to himself as he waited for her to answer. Why would she feel that way? Her father was an amazing man. He loved his kids so much. Ethan would have loved to have had a mother and father that cared as much as hers did. How could she not see how lucky she was? How could she not want that for herself?
“Do you want kids?” she asked, avoiding his question.
“Never”
Gavin walked into the room with tears in his eyes, just as she was about to say something else. Ethan felt nauseous, as he looked into his friend's eyes.
Julie jumped up from her spot against Ethan and ran to Gavin. She threw her arms around him and held him so tight. Ethan could feel the love Julie had for her brother.
“I should have been here,” Gavin cried.
“There was nothing you could have done. You were already on the plane when she called me. I came over right away. Even if you were here, things would have been the same. There is not a single thing either of you could have done different. It would have happened anyway. I just want you and Becky to understand that. The most important thing is that neither of you blame yourself.”
Ethan watched Julie console her brother. Why wasn't everyone as amazing as her? Why wasn't his father understanding when it came to his mother?
“I can't believe this happened,” Gavin said. “We loved our little baby so much already. I would do anything for everything to be okay.”
“I know you would,” Julie replied. “We all would. You have to know that just because this happened, doesn't mean it will ever happen again. Becky could get pregnant again and everything can be just fine. Please don't let this stop you from having a happy family. I know it does not change that you lost this baby. I just want you to make sure you move forward together and not backward.”
The three of them walked back to the bedroom to sit with Becky. Ethan went right to her, sat down, and pulled her into his arms.
“I am so sorry.”
He had to hold his tears back. Ethan worked very hard to keep his walls up and hidden from his friends. There was no way he wanted them to see how the situation affected him. Without thinking, he looked up into Gavin's eyes, not letting go of Becky.
“You two have to make it through this. Please promise me that you two will stay together. I love you guys. I can't believe this is happening. I need to know that you are going to make it through this,” Ethan said.
Becky wrapped her arms around him.
“We will get through this together. We love each other very much. He is my rock and I know that he will be with me every second. We are going to be sad, but we have each other. We will always have each other.”
“I love you,” he said. “I have to go. I need to leave. Call me if you need anything, and I will be here no matter what.”
Ethan squeezed her tight and then stood up. He pulled Gavin out the door and down the hallway with him. Wrapping his arms around Gavin, he leaned in close to his ear.
“Please be there for her.”
Gavin gave him a look of confusion.
“I promise you, I will be there for her. I love her more than you could ever imagine. We need each other right now. I will always be here for her. Are you okay?”
“I'm fine,” Ethan replied. “I just have to get out of here. I love you guys.”
He pulled away from Gavin and took off for the front door, just as Julie walked up to them. Ethan grabbed his bags from where he left them and let himself out.
Chapter 7
What was that about, Julie wondered? She had never seen Ethan that upset or serious the entire time she had known him. It was the first time she had seen a tear in his eye or hurt on his face. He was always a cocky ass. She looked at Gavin, wondering if he had the same thought. It was as if her brother could read her mind.
“I have never seen him as upset as he was just now. Ethan gets pissed over business deals gone wrong, but he holds his emotion well. I can't believe he was that upset about our baby. Every now and again, he truly amazes me. Rarely do I ever see him let the walls down he has worked so hard to build. I have no idea what he has been through in his life, but he makes me appreciate the wonderful life I have. There are always things working on his mind. It's like I can see how hard he fights himself sometimes. I don't think any of us could be as hard on him as he is on himself. I know deep down, he is a good man. One of these days, someone is going to crack that hard-ass exterior he holds up so well. Are you okay?”
“I'm just worried about you and Becky. It was bad, Gavin. She was devastated. I wanted to tell you so bad, but she wouldn't let me. She wanted to see you in person. I love you guys so much. I would do anything for you,” Julie said, as she wrapped her arms around her brother.
“We would do anything for you too. We'll get through this. I am so glad you came to her. Thank you so much for that. You have no idea how important that is to me.”
“She's my sister. Of course I would be there for her. Honestly, I was afraid that was what was happening, but I didn't want to scare her. I made sure to let her doctor tell her. There was nothing either of you could have done. I hope you know that.”
They both walked back to the bedroom. Julie sat with Becky for a while longer, while Gavin put his stuff away and got them something to eat. He offered for her to stay, but she wanted to let them have their privacy. She told Becky she would call in the morning to check on her, and if anything happened during the night to call her.
Julie could not stop thinking about Ethan's reaction to the situation. He kept telling Becky and Gavin that they had to get through everything. Why was he so worried that this would tear them apart, she wondered? There was something going on with him. She could see the love and fear in his eyes. That had been the first time she had seen him since their blow out, but she needed to make sure he was okay. The way he held her while she cried was not something she would ever forget. As much joking and trouble as he had given her, he was there for her when it counted. Julie used to have such a huge crush on him, but the past few years his behavior had really upset her. Maybe there was something more to him than she gave him credit for. She knew there was a chance he was going to be upset with her, but she pulled out her phone anyway and started to text him.
/>
“Where are you?”
“Out” he replied.
So he was not going to make things easy on her. He sat and let her soak his shirt with her tears, and she was going to make sure he was okay, whether he liked it or not.
“Out where?”
“Out”
She shook her head and laughed.
“Tell me now or I will figure it out anyway.”
“I'm at the bar.”
“Which one, genius?”
“Why do you care?” he sent.
“I'm on my way.”
“Don't you dare come here. Go home to doctor boring. I'll be home with a chick naked and beneath me before you get here.”
“Fuck you.” she sent.
She knew he was just trying to push her away. He was very good at that. Anytime he had something bothering him, he pushed people away or worked so hard to piss them off that they left on their own. It wasn't going to work. There was something going on with him, and she was not going to leave him alone. Julie knew which bar he went to more than the rest. She was hoping that he would tell her so that she didn't have to invite herself, but that didn't happen.
She slammed her car door and headed into the bar. As she walked past a table of guys, one of them whistled at her. Julie shook her head and kept walking. When she walked back toward the corner, she felt her cheeks redden as she picked up her pace. She had no claim to Ethan, but that did not stop the flood of emotions she felt seeing some chick hanging all over him. His head was down on the table, as some woman had her hands on him. Julie stopped at the end of the booth and slammed her fists down on the table. Ethan's head jerked up and his eyes widened with surprise.
“Excuse me,” she said, as she stared directly into the chicks eyes. “Get the fuck away from my man.”
“What do you mean your man?”
“What part of my man do you not understand? Remove your hands from him now.”
Julie stood as tall as she could and pulled her shoulders back. She was as confident as could be. Ethan let out a laugh as he threw his head back down into his arms on the table.
“I had no idea he was taken. I'm so sorry. You both have a great day.”
The girl removed her hands from his back, moved to the edge of the booth, stood up, and walked toward the group of men who had whistled earlier. Julie slammed herself down on the seat that had been vacated. Neither of them said anything for a moment.
“I can't believe you just did that,” he said, with his head still on the table.
“I don't know what you mean?”
“Yes you do. I was just about to get lucky, and you chased her away. I visit this bar often, you know. Everyone over at that table knows I'm single.”
“Are you talking about that table full of testosterone that whistled at me as I walked by. Great bunch of guys, I'm sure.”
His head came off the table and he turned to face her.
“What do you mean they whistled at you on the way by? Which one?”
Julie could see the sadness in his eyes, but she could also see something else. Was it jealousy?
“Get up. I'm going over there. Which one was it?”
“Shut up and sit there. You aren't going anywhere until you tell me why you left.”
He let out a sigh.
“Start talking Ethan or I'm going to do something more embarrassing than tell that girl your taken.”
He smiled and shook his head.
“I thought you were boring now. I can't believe you chased her away. I am a little curious to see what else you would do.”
“I'll go over to that table of guys and”
“I don't think so,” he said, as he cut her off.
“How much have you had to drink?” she asked. “No, it doesn't matter. I'm driving you home.”
“You're not driving me home. I'm not finished here. Just go back to your man. I'm sure you have much better things to do. Tell that girl to come back over here on your way out.”
Julie felt a surge of anger run through her veins. She knew he was messing with her head, but enough was enough. Why she was so jealous of that chick hanging on him and touching him? Sure, she used to have a crush on him before she really got to know him. Julie had learned to put her guard up when she was around him. He always made flirty comments, but she knew he would never really care about her. Ethan cared about himself. He was a selfish ass, but the hurt and sadness she had seen in his eyes made her want to learn more about him. What Gavin said about him was in the back of her mind. Maybe there was more to Ethan. There was no way she was leaving him there drunk. Julie knew not to let him get the upper hand.
“Fine, I'll send her over while I go meet her friends,” she snapped.
“Whatever,” he said, as he let his head lean back against the wall.
“I'll see you later. I'm going to make some new friends.”
Julie walked toward the table on the other side of the room. She turned around and saw Ethan watch her with his eyes squinting and his jaw clenched. As she walked toward the table, she made sure to shake her backside just a little extra. The guy who had whistled at her earlier stood and pulled up an extra chair, as he waited for her to sit down.
“Well thank you very much,” she said, loud enough for Ethan to hear. “Are you always such a gentleman?”
The guy sat down next to her just a little closer than she was comfortable with. Please don't let this backfire, she thought.
“My name's Jeff? These are my friends Matt and Roy. This is Roy's new friend Sally,” he said pointing to the girl she had chased away from Ethan.
She was glad that Sally was to busy kissing on Roy's neck to notice her.
“My name's Julie. It's very nice to meet you Jeff.”
He reached over and put his arm around her shoulder, and she felt her body stiffen as a deep breath escaped her throat. What was she doing, she thought? Maybe she had made the wrong decision. Jeff leaned in toward her ear and moved his hand up her neck. Julie heard pounding footsteps approach as Jeff's hand flew up off of her neck. Before she could turn to look, there was a strong grip on her arm, and she was pulled to her feet.
“Outside, Now.”
Julie was startled by the demanding tone of Ethan's voice. She turned around to face him. He stared at her with a look she had never seen before. He stood tall, with his shoulders held high. His eyes were the darkest green that she had ever seen them. She stood frozen in place, unable to move her feet. Julie was so upset at Gavin's that she hadn't even noticed what Ethan was wearing. He had on a tight t-shirt with his muscles peeking out from under the sleeves and a very nice looking pair of faded blue jeans. Her mouth dropped open slightly as she took him in, attitude and all. There was heat oozing from him. She could feel it cross the empty space between them. As nervous as he made her, she could not help but notice how damn sexy he looked at that moment. There was a dominating way about him. She couldn't place the feeling it was giving her. Julie had never felt heat like that, even when a man was touching her. It was like he was letting the guys around them know that she was not to be messed with. She had never felt so protected or turned on in her entire life.
“I said outside,” he snapped, keeping his eyes locked on hers.
She felt warmth spread through her body at his words. Julie shivered and turned away from him. Her feet finally began to move toward the door. She felt as if some outside force was moving her. The door opened, and she found herself standing outside with Ethan's hand on the small of her back.
“Take me home,” he demanded, as he opened her door for her and went around to get in.
She could still feel the warmth on her back from where his hand had been.
“Okay,” she said. “I need you to tell me where I'm going. I haven't been there before.”
“Fine, turn right out of the parking lot,” he snapped. “Don't ever pull that shit on me again.”
The ride to his place was quiet. She hadn't expected him to react the way he did. Of cours
e, she thought he would walk over to the table and talk to her, but she didn't expect him to go all alpha on her. She had never seen him so stern and rough. Even at the wedding, when he snapped at her about changing who she was for her date wasn't the same. What had just happened was different. She wasn't even sure what it was. There had been a time in her past she had been treated aggressively. She made sure to stay away from that behavior, but what Ethan had done was different. She felt safe, like he was protecting her. What scared her even more was the way her body was reacting to him.
They drove through a nice neighborhood with huge homes. She looked around and imagined all of the happy families that lived in each home. When Ethan told her to turn into a driveway, she looked over at him with her eyes wide. She put the car in park and looked up at the house in awe.
“This is your house?” she asked.
“Where did you think I lived?”
He looked over at her with his head tilted and a serious look on his face. She looked down into her lap and spoke quietly.
“I'm not sure. I thought you lived in an apartment. I have never heard you talk about your place very much.”
Julie felt bad for judging him. He was right; they all gave him such a hard time. She thought he lived in a small, messy apartment. Never did she picture him having a nice home. How could she be so mean, she wondered? Her eyes scanned his yard. The grass was cut perfectly and there were pretty flowers in the flowerbeds. There was a porch that went across the front and wrapped around the side. He had a swing, chairs, table, and flowers across the front. His home was two stories with a built-in garage. It looked so homey from the outside.
“It's beautiful, Ethan.”
She looked over at him and could see the sadness still there. When she looked back again, the confident Ethan was back. Julie was surprised how quickly he could turn it on and throw his walls up.
“Thanks for the ride, mom,” he snapped, as he reached for the door.
Julie reached over and grabbed his arm.
“I'm sorry about the bar. I shouldn't have chased that chick away. It was none of my business. I was just upset when I walked in and saw sadness in your eyes. She should have been making sure you were okay, not making a move to see what she could get from you. I shouldn't have stuck my nose in your business in the first place. You're a grown man. If you want to take home a different woman every night, that's your business.”
Battle for Love (Bachelor Billionaire #3) Page 4