by Lola Swain
“No,” I said and pressed the button to close the elevator door.
“Okay fine, I’m not upset in the least about this thing with Devon. I understand that you were upset. Actually, if you think about it, it’s a good thing. Devon will be our cover.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, everyone will think you’re Devon’s girl and it will give us a chance to be together without arousing Raven’s suspicions. She is one jealous bitch, Lexi,” Aiden said and laughed. “You wouldn’t believe it.”
“I don’t believe this, Aiden,” I said and slammed my finger against the elevator button. “What the fuck is wrong with this thing?”
“I disabled it. Now get out before maintenance comes,” Aiden said and grabbed my arm.
I dug my heels into the floor and he tugged on my arm.
“You want to play hard to get, Lex? Fine.”
Aiden grabbed me and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I said as I kicked him in the kidneys.
“Calm down,” he said as he carried me from the elevator into the foyer of his suite. “I told you, you were coming with me.”
Aiden placed me on the couch in the living room of the penthouse and walked to the bar.
“What do you want to drink?”
“Nothing,” I said and crossed my arms over my chest.
“It is a bit early, but scotch it is.”
Aiden put a couple of ice cubes into two stocky rocks glasses and filled them each with scotch. He walked toward me and smiled.
“Have I told you how good you look to me?” he said and held out a glass.
“Have I told you that I don’t want a drink?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said and grabbed my hand. “Drink.”
Aiden pulled a large leather ottoman over in front of the couch and sat down in front of me. He took a drink of his scotch and pushed my glass to my mouth and tipped it up.
“That’s a good girl,” he said, “get a nice drink into you.”
Scotch poured out of my mouth and ran down my chin. I pushed the glass away from my lips.
“I don’t want a drink.”
“What do you want then?” Aiden said and inched the ottoman toward me.
“I want to go home.”
“Fine,” he said and sighed, “go.”
I stood from the couch and maneuvered around his legs.
“Do not!” he said. “I am telling you right now, Lexi, if you leave this room, you will be a very sorry little girl.”
I hung my head and turned to face him.
“I’m already sorry, Aiden.”
“Then come here,” he said as he stood from the ottoman.
“You crushed me,” I said and shook my head. “I flew all the way from London to tell you that. When I got here yesterday, I felt destroyed.”
“And now?” He said and walked toward me. “How do you feel about things now?”
“The same,” I said and smiled. “You cannot do this to me, Aiden. You cannot fuck with my head like this.”
Aiden reached out and grabbed my wrist. He pulled me into his body and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“I don’t want to fuck with your head, Lex. I want to fuck your sweet pussy. Perhaps, your ass. But not your head.”
“Too late,” I said and tried to push away from him. “It’s Devon’s pussy now.”
“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong. It is my pussy. Always has been, always will be.”
“It was your pussy. It was only for you, but you and you alone fucked that up.”
“But, I haven’t fucked it in a while,” he said and smiled.
“And you won’t ever again. Please let go of me,” I said and pushed on his arms.
“And if I don’t?” He said and tightened his arms around my waist. “What do you think you will do about it? Look Lexi, I am sorry I hurt you, but right now, you’re the one who is going to be punished.”
Aiden picked me up in his arms and carried me over to the couch. He sat down and laid me over his lap on my stomach. He lifted his hips up and shifted under me until his hard bulge was planted under my pussy. Aiden lifted my dress up around my waist and exposed my ass.
“No panties?” he said and took a deep breath.
He cupped his hand and rubbed my cool flesh.
“Such a beautiful ass you have, Lexi,” Aiden said as I squirmed on top of him.
“This is ridiculous. Let me go, Aiden. You are the one who chose to have a girlfriend who is not me. Deal with it.”
“I will not. I did what I had to do, Lexi, just as you did.”
“This was not my choice,” I said and dug my nails into his thigh.
Aiden lifted his arm high and slammed his open palm down on my ass. I kicked my feet against the couch and tried to tumble out from under his grip. He took his free hand and pressed it down on my upper back so my tits smashed against the couch. He spanked my ass again, this time with much more force than the previous time.
“Relax,” he said as I bucked against him, “it will hurt less if you give in.”
Aiden slammed his open palm down on my ass several times as he thrust his hips up and grinded his bulge against my pussy. My ass stung from his spankings and he spread my legs with his hand. He reached between my legs and rubbed my pussy.
“Oh, you are enjoying this,” he said as his hand slid back and forth against my wet skin. “You’re such a little slut, Lexi. So fucking wet.”
Like my heart, I couldn’t make my pussy not feel what it felt for Aiden. I squirmed out from underneath Aiden’s hand and flipped over on my back. He looked down at me and smiled.
“Coming around?” he said and stroked the side of my cheek.
“Why can’t you love me?” I said.
“What are you talking about? Of course I love you.”
“Why can’t you love me above everyone else?”
Aiden looked down at me and sighed.
“I—”
And at that moment, I knew the word do did not figure into what he was going to say.
“You gutted me, you know that?” I said and looked into his eyes.
“Lexi, it’s different for me, you need to understand this.”
“No matter what I do to try to make you fall in love with me, it will never be enough. I will never be good enough for you.”
“No,” he said and took a breath in and closed his eyes, “no, you won’t.”
I sat up and knelt on the couch next to him. He stared down into his lap.
“Look at me,” I said. “Have the fucking balls to look me in the eyes when you speak that way to me.”
But he didn’t have the balls to look at me, but it didn’t really matter because he said it.
No matter how many times I dressed up in sexy lingerie or killed myself to make myself available to him or humiliated myself by having video chat sex in front of the wrong person, I would never be good enough in his eyes. And that is a fuck of a thing to realize, especially when you’re in love with the person who doesn’t give a fuck.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s actually better this way because now you know. I’ve given the power back to you to make the decision.”
“I deserve better,” I said and stood from the couch.
“Yes,” he said.
I walked toward the elevator door to Aiden’s suite and waited to hear him call my name. And when I reached the foyer and he did, my heart leapt.
“Wait, Lexi,” he said.
I rested my forehead on the elevator door and thought about what I would say. I would make him promise that he would leave Raven immediately and commit only to me. I would have to think of something to say to Devon, but I was sure he would understand. I know, what a fool.
I took a deep breath and turned to face him. He stood before me and smiled. With his pants down around his ankles.
“I’m leaving in a few hours to go to Atlantic City for the night.
How about one more fuck? What do you say?”
“I-I…what?” I said.
“For old times’ sake?”
“Fuck you, Aiden,” I said and pushed the button for the elevator door to open.
“Come on now, don’t be such a prude!”
I turned and faced him when I got into the elevator and he shook his cock at me. After the elevator door closed and descended, I slammed my fists against my legs and wailed. I made it to my room and threw myself on the bed and cried myself to sleep.
When I awoke five hours later, I booked the first flight out of New York the next morning and went down to the bar to drown my sorrows.
I saw her sitting at the bar by herself, aviator glasses covering her maddeningly beautiful face. I stood in the entrance to the bar and studied her to figure out in what ways she was better than me and why Aiden thought she was better than me.
She is beautiful…no doubt about it. She has auburn hair and gigantic tits and a delicate, pretty face that is more natural than many of the overly injected porn stars I’ve seen.
I felt worse looking at her as if I would have been okay with Aiden’s unceremonious dumping if she was ugly. Lucia always said that if you are dumped for another woman, always hope she is much prettier than you. She figures that makes sense and then you can make it right in your brain and heart. I always thought the opposite. If the girl I was dumped for is ugly, it’s not a reflection on me. It is flawed logic, to be sure. Either way, nothing is changed.
Lucia would have told me to turn around and leave the bar. To stop torturing myself, go back to my room and wait for my flight. But I’m not Lucia.
I went in and slid into the barstool next to Raven Sheridan and ordered a beer.
“Just a beer?” Raven said after the bartender set down a cold pint of Boddingtons in front of me.
I turned and stared at her and she took her sunglasses off and placed them on the bar.
“Um, well I have to fly early tomorrow so I didn’t want to get plastered.”
Raven swiveled in the chair toward me.
“Where are you going?” She said.
“London…back to London,” I said and cleared my throat. “I live there.”
“I love London,” she said and took a sip of her tall, red drink. “I always have the best time there. My name is Raven, what’s yours?”
I realized that she had no idea who I was and since I knew Aiden was in Atlantic City, I decided to have some fun.
“Mary,” I said and held out my hand.
“You don’t look like a Mary,” Raven said as she took my hand into hers.
“Yep, get that all the time. So, what brings you to New York?” I said.
“Do you really not know who I am?” Raven said as she leaned toward me.
“Should I?”
“I’m an actress,” she said and put her index finger up to her full lips. “But, let’s keep that between us.”
“Of course,” I said and smiled. “What have you been in?”
Raven looked down at the bar and I was pretty sure she wasn’t going to tell me Cock In My Ass Volumes One through Four.
“Porn,” she said and smiled. “I do porn. I’m going to cross over into regular stuff, but right now I’m focusing on this.”
“I see,” I said and took a sip of my beer. “I’ve not watched much porn.”
“I find that surprising. I mean, you look like you could star right alongside me in one of my movies.”
“Thank you.”
Raven chattered on about her plans to cross over into mainstream films and she ordered another round of drinks for us.
“So, what do you do back in London?” she said.
“I’m a student. Nothing as exciting as your profession.”
“I could have guessed that,” she said.
“How?”
“I dunno,” she said and giggled. “You sort of have that student look. How old are you?”
“Twenty-three. How old are you?”
“What? Um, I’m not used to people asking me that.”
“Well, it’s just between us, right?”
“Yes,” she said and put her hand on my arm. “How old would you guess?”
I looked at Raven and pretended to study her face as I thought about her and Aiden.
“Thirty-six?” I said.
She narrowed her eyes as she stared at me.
“No more beer for you, Mary!” she said and grabbed my pint glass. “Thirty-six? Are you serious?”
“Older?” I said and took my glass from her hand.
“No, not older! I am twenty-eight, for God’s sakes. My fiancé says I don’t look a day over twenty-five though.”
I choked as I took a swallow of my beer and ended up spraying it across the bar.
“Are you okay?” Raven said and wiped my chin with a cocktail napkin.
“Yes, wrong pipe,” I said and patted my chest. “So you’re engaged?”
“Yes, just recently,” she said and stared at her hand. “We’re picking up the ring tomorrow. Tiffany’s, of course.”
“Is he here?” I said as I balled my fists in my lap.
“He’s doing an interview in Atlantic City. He’ll be back tomorrow. You probably even know who he is.”
Lucia would have been correct in telling me not to venture into the bar, but this was like a fucking car wreck. I was furious, yet I summoned my primary grade drama class instruction and forged ahead.
“Oh, really? Who is he?”
“Well,” she said and looked at the ceiling and smiled, “his first name is Aiden.”
“No!” I said and covered my mouth.
“Yep!” she said and giggled. “I never thought I’d ever be so happy.”
I drained my pint as I pushed Raven’s drink toward her.
“Drink up,” I said and summoned the bartender, “next round on me.”
“I promised him I wouldn’t spend the entire night in the bar,” she said and sucked down her vodka and cranberry juice. “But since it’s just us girls, it’s okay. He’s terribly jealous.”
“Really? How long have you two been together?”
“Almost two years,” she said and smiled. “Exclusively though, for the past nine months.”
“Exclusively?” I said.
“Yeah,” she said and cocked her head. “You know, monogamous.”
“I know what it means. So, neither of you see other people?”
“Nope. I haven’t even done a movie since we’ve decided; just promoting the projects already out. And he has not been with anyone either.”
“But he’s a great big rich rock star, right? You mean to tell me he’s not fucking other women?”
“No, Mary, he loves me.”
It seems that delusion as it relates to Aiden was not exclusive to me.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply—”
“Oh, that’s okay. I get it. I mean, he travels all the time and I’m not with him, but I trust him and he trusts me. He told me that he’ll leave me in a second if he finds out and I would do the same.”
“Wow,” I said, “that’s a lot of trust.”
“Well, when you’re in love, you have to trust them. Here’s to trust,” Raven said and held up her glass.
“Yeah, trust,” I said and touched my glass to hers.
“So what about you, do you have a boyfriend?”
“Yes,” I said and smiled.
“Ooh, that’s a nice smile. What’s his name?”
“Dev…Donald,” I said. “Donald.”
“What’s he do?”
“He’s a banker,” I said.
“Nice,” she said and smiled. “A nice stay-at-home banker. You’re very lucky.”
“Yep, I think so.”
I decided what I was going to do at that moment.
The plan wasn’t about fucking Raven over, even though I was crazy jealous, but to show Aiden that I could best him by bringing his sweet little monogamous porn star to her knees.
Five rounds later, Raven and I were suitably buzzed and she stood from the bar and announced her impending departure.
“Oh, stay for a little bit,” I said and tugged on her arm. “I’m having fun.”
“No, I really need to get out of this bar. I’m a little paranoid someone will tell Aiden I’ve been down here all night. He’s very jeal—”
“Jealous…you’ve indicated. Hey, let’s get some drinks to go and go back to my room,” I said.
She looked at me and smiled. Then she glanced at my tits and smiled wider.
“Well, okay,” she said and fluffed her hair. “I’m going to run to the bathroom, you pick up the check.”
The plan to not fuck Raven over shifted to also fucking Raven over after she left me to pay the $150.00 bar tab.
I grabbed one more round and met Raven at the elevator. As we rode up toward my room, I stared at her.
“You are very beautiful,” I said. “Your boyfriend is extremely lucky.”
“Fiancé,” she said. “And thank you. Your boyfriend is lucky as well.”
“It’s a shame really,” I said and turned toward her, “we both have very lucky partners, yet we are all alone.”
“We will see them tomorrow,” Raven said and took a sip of her drink. “A woman has to learn to be without a man at times.”
“Yes, I suppose you’re right,” I said. “You know, as soon as I get home, I’m going to rent all of your movies. Donald will be thrilled.”
“If I had them with me, I’d autograph a few.”
“I can’t wait to see you on screen,” I said and ran my hand down her arm.
Raven looked down at my hand and bit her bottom lip. I could tell she was going through a bit of an internal struggle and it turned me on.
“I think you’ll like it, if you’re into that sort of thing,” she said.
“I’m sure I will. Tell me, is it hard to…you know, with people on camera?” I said and moved closer toward her.
“You get used to it. I get into character and forget that there are people watching. The key to this business is being a professional. It’s very tough, you know. Not a lot of people think it would be, but this business is not for weaklings.”
“No, I’m sure not,” I said and looked at the panel as the elevator stopped on my floor.
“Here we are,” I said and walked out of the elevator. “My suite is just down here.”