Finally we go to the dining room.
The girls are trying to give hickeys to all the boys in the bunk that raided us last night.
Corrine’s right.
It’s going to be one of those days.
CHAPTER 10
Where’s the time gone?
I feel like I just got to camp and now it’s halfway over.
The hiking. I don’t think I’ve ever walked so much in my entire life. Back home, everyone walks to and from school and sometimes over to friends’. Other than that, our parents take us places in cars.
Not here. We walk everywhere. And as if that’s not enough, Carl’s some kind of nut about going on hikes. There have been three of them since the night that the bunk was invaded by the bat and by the boys from the intermediate cabin.
And the overnight. Some of the kids were terrified. And those who didn’t start out scared got that way after two hours of ghost stories.
Visitors’ Day. Parents taking kids off the grounds, talking to us, making sure that the kids are having fun.
The swimming. Even Janie’s learning to swim. And it’s Ginger who taught her. Amazing. I still can’t reach Ginger. I tried once more to be nice, but she told me to go away.
There’s been kind of an uneasy truce for a while, ever since Corrine and I’ve been holding daily bunk meetings. I only hope it lasts.
And in another week it’ll be time for carnival and the talent show . . .both on one day.
Ted and I are still “going together.” That means the few minutes that we have free, we spend together. It’s not really like back home where people get to go out on real dates. It’s more like when people in grammar school and junior high went out (I always heard about it but it never happened with me). People “hang out” together, and everyone says they’re a couple.
So now I’m part of a couple and I love it. It’s not always easy, though, because sometimes I would like to spend more time with other people, and there just isn’t enough time.
Especially with carnival and the talent show coming up.
It’s been so busy here that there was barely enough time for me to even remember my birthday. That’s why it was such a wonderful surprise, the party that Corrine and Barbara threw for me.
And the magazine. That’s coming out this weekend too. With the hour and a half each day that the majors (dance, music, writing, art) have alloted, we’ve been getting the magazine ready, as well as the daily newsletters.
I’m watching the kids practice the bunk skit for talent night. They’ve put it together so that it’s a showcase for their individual talents.
It’s about a magic kingdom (only they’ve made it a queendom) where everyone is allowed to have one special talent and what happens when the people want to branch out and have more than one talent. The wicked witch casts a spell. They are, individually, unable to break that spell until they discover that as a group against the wicked witch, helping each other, they can make things end “happily ever after.”
Risa says the skit’s going to be a real show stopper.
Ginger says the only way it’s going to be a show stopper is so that everyone can take time out to throw up. She’s got the part of the wicked witch. I tried to talk to the kids about changing the script, but Ginger said she loved her part.
Oh well, you can’t expect miracles.
I watch the kids practice as I work on the costumes.
Heidi Gittenstein stops by the cabin. “Hey, Marcy, we’ve gotten permission to go into Woodstock after dinner to pick up some stuff for carnival. Want to come? It’ll be you, me, and Sally.”
“I’d love to.”
“Great. We’ll meet right after dinner.” She goes down the hill.
Great. It’ll give me a chance to spend some time getting to know her and Sally better.
I continue to sew and try to remember if Ted and I’ve made any plans to be together after dinner. I doubt it, not formal ones. I don’t think he’ll mind though. It’ll give him some time to practice his guitar, since he’s always saying he doesn’t have the time.
Ginger comes over. “I’ve got some time free until I have to do anything again. Can I go brush my teeth? I’ve got some corn from lunch caught in my teeth.”
“Sure,” I say.
She rushes into the bunk for her stuff and runs to the bathroom.
Either she really is getting better or I’m getting used to her.
She comes running back, yelling, “I’m going to kill someone.”
I rush over. “What’s wrong?”
She’s angry. “Someone put a pinhole in my toothpaste tube. When I went to use it, the gunk slopped all over me.”
“Calm down,” I say.
“I don’t want to calm down. I’ve had it. Last night when I got into bed, someone short-sheeted my bed, and now this.”
“Why didn’t you mention that at a meeting?”
“I didn’t want to tattle, but too much is happening.”
“Look, Ginger,” I say, “I’ll talk to Corrine about it after dinner and we’ll try to work it out.”
She looks at me. “Promise.”
“Sure,” I say, thinking that maybe now she’ll be easier to reach. I would really like to be the one who helps her.
She joins the skit and I go back to sewing.
The other girls act like they’re not responsible. I wonder who is.
Corrine’s at the office, getting the literary magazine put together. I’ll have to discuss it with her later.
The afternoon goes well.
Time to go back to the bunk so that everyone can write letters. Once a week every kid has to write a letter home and present the sealed message to the counselor before dinner. That way we can see that mail is being sent home so that no parents complain.
The dinner bell rings.
Corrine comes up to me. “I’m going to skip dinner tonight. I’ve got a fever or something. Do you mind?”
“I was supposed to pick up some stuff in town for carnival. Should I cancel?”
“I just want to rest for a while. I’ll be fine after dinner.”
The kids are all kind of quiet at dinner, but I figure it’s because they’re all tired out from practicing.
After dinner Ted comes over to me and says, “Want to go for a walk after the tables are all cleared?”
I nod.
Heidi comes running over. “Ready? Barbara says we can go now.”
I forgot.
I turn to Ted. “Ooops, I’ve got to go shopping. Okay?”
“Does it matter if it’s okay with me? Looks like you’ve already made your choice.” He shrugs.
I want to be with him. But I promised to go. And I do want to get to know Heidi and Sally better. It’s confusing.
“See you around sometime,” he says in this really cold voice I’ve never heard before.
I start to say something, but he’s already turned away.
I watch as he goes over and starts talking to Betty, one of the other CITs.
That hurts—a lot. She’s been after him, ever since camp began.
Heidi looks at me. “Wow. I didn’t realize this was going to cause any trouble. Would you rather stay here?”
I’m not sure of what I want to do. Part of me wants to cry. Part of me wants to strangle Ted. How can I be so angry at someone I love so much?
Heidi turns her baseball cap to the back and says, “Would you rather stay here, really? I’d understand.”
I look over at Ted. He’s put his arm around Betty and they’re laughing about something.
That does it. “No, I want to go.”
We get into the van and Sally drives into town.
I try to put all thoughts of Ted and Betty out of my mind and concentrate on talking with Heidi and Sally.
After a while it becomes easier to join in their conversation.
I can even laugh a little.
Neither of them mentions what happened with me and Ted.
I’m glad becau
se I might say something I would regret.
I remember that I’m supposed to talk to Corrine about what happened with Ginger. Oh well, I can do that when I get back, or Ginger’ll probably tell Corrine herself.
We pick up lots of stuff and then go over to a café, sit on the patio, and have Cokes.
“Do you play pinball?” Heidi asks.
I shake my head. In my hometown the only kids who play are the kids who cause trouble.
“Want to learn? It’s fun. We’ve got one at home,” Heidi says.
Pinball in the home of a U.S. senator. I guess it’s okay to play then.
We go into one of the rooms.
Pinball machines.
There’s a little kid playing.
Heidi, Sally, and I go over to one, Close Encounters of the Third Kind.
They’re really good at it.
I’m not.
But it’s fun. I love the flashing lights, the sounds it makes, and the way you don’t think about anything personal when you’re playing.
We play eliminations. I lose. They play for the championship.
I practice on another machine, feeding it quarters.
There’s someone tugging on my Camp Serendipity sweat shirt. It’s the little kid.
“Lady, want to play?”
Lady, he thinks I’m a lady. He’s seven or eight so I guess he thinks I’m a grown-up. The little kids at camp are the same way.
A little kid. I bet I can beat him. He doesn’t look tall enough to see over the machine. Maybe I’ve got a chance.
He continues. “Loser pays for both games, after the first one.”
“Sure.” I’m sure I’ll win, but even if I do, I won’t make him pay for the next game.
We play.
Final score—320,840 for him to 16,500 for me.
I’ve been hustled.
“Where’d you learn to play like that?” I ask.
“Tom’s Pizzeria in New York City, near where I live and go to school. I play there a lot.” He grins. “My name’s Paulie. What’s yours? Your turn to pay.”
I put in the quarters. “I’m Marcy. How about teaching me?”
We play.
I pay.
He teaches.
I think Ted and I’ll have to come here sometime and play.
Then it all comes back to me. Ted’s mad at me, out somewhere with Betty. I bet he never talks to me again.
Heidi and Sally come over. “We’d better get back. It’s getting late.”
I wave good-bye to Paulie, who’s getting more quarters from his parents.
He waves back.
By the time we get back to camp, it’s dark.
We all go over to the staff recreation room. There are some people there, but no Ted and Betty.
Sally and Heidi go over to talk to somebody.
Jimmy comes over to me. “Looking for Ted?”
I say nothing.
“I saw him go off with Betty. Why don’t you and I go off for a walk?” He lifts one eyebrow.
“Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather be alone,” I say and walk away from him.
I wave good-bye to Heidi and Sally.
Heidi comes over and whispers, “Want some company?”
“I think I’m going for a walk. Thanks anyway.”
She nods. “Just remember—the path of true love never runs smooth, or something trite like that.”
Once I get outside, I think about Jimmy’s offer. Maybe I should have taken him up on it. That would teach Ted. But Ted probably wouldn’t even care.
I feel as if someone has ripped my heart right out of my body.
I go off to the area where there are swings.
Corrine’s on duty so I don’t have to go right back to the bunk. I’m glad. I don’t want anyone to see me right now, not when I feel like I’m going to split in two and want to die.
Sitting down on a swing, I start to cry.
It’s all so confusing. I love Ted. He used to say he loved me.
Life can get pretty complicated, growing up. I used to think that if I were in love with someone who loved me, everything would be absolutely wonderful.
But it’s not working out that way. It’s so confusing.
I like being with Ted, having him hug and kiss me, hugging and kissing him. Sometimes I get nervous because I like the feelings so much and then I get scared that I’m not sure I’m making the right decisions. But mostly I just like it.
Now, though, I feel as if I’m never going to stop crying, that all of the water in my body’s going to exit through my eyeballs.
Someone sits on the swing next to me.
It’s Barbara.
I try to stop sobbing but can’t.
She says, “Want to talk about it?”
I nod.
She waits for me to say something.
“I feel so dumb . . .and I’m trying so hard to be a grown-up. It’s terrible.” I continue to sob.
“I know it’s hard,” she says softly.
I tell her everything. How much I love Ted, how I set the goal for myself to be grown-up, how hurt I am because Ted went off with Betty, how I’m trying so hard to do everything right with the kids that it makes me nervous, how confused I am.
“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. It’s difficult growing up. Carl and I always talk about what we want to do and be when we’re grown up.” She smiles.
“You do? But you are grown-ups,” I say, wiping my eyes.
“Marcy, I’m not even sure what it means to be a grown-up. Everyone has moments when he or she doesn’t feel adult. We’re all concerned about doing the best thing and we’ve all had times when we’re confused confronting new situations. You’ve really got to learn not to be so tough on yourself, to realize that lots of other people have the same problems. That doesn’t mean that your problems aren’t important, you’ve just got to learn to put them in perspective. You should try to progress at a comfortable rate without worrying about being perfect.”
“It just doesn’t seem fair. I do the best I can. And still things don’t work out. I feel as if I’m being punished all the time.”
“But you’re not. It’s life. Things happen.” She shakes her head. “You know, Marcy—an example—I know there are times you hate your father. But he really does care about you. When you hadn’t written to them, he sent me a note asking if you were all right, just so they didn’t have to worry. So you see he does care, even if you think it’s unfair that he’s not perfect.”
“How come you never told me?”
“He said not to. He figured you were busy, but your mother was ‘driving him nuts’ with her nervous concern about you. And he didn’t want you to think that he thought you were incompetent. You know, Marcy, he doesn’t. He sounded very proud of you in the letter. So you see, you’ve got to learn to look at the whole situation. Did you do that with Ted, take his feelings into account?”
Thinking back, I realize I didn’t, that I figured that he wouldn’t mind—that I didn’t have to check it out with him.
“Did you always have an easy time when you went out?” I ask.
She laughs. “No. I made lots of mistakes. Maybe that’s why Carl and I do so well together. We’ve both made mistakes and learned from them. Now we try hard to understand each other and listen.”
“I wish there was a magic pill that would make everything all better,” I say.
“But there isn’t, and pills are not the answer. Working on things is.”
“It’s scary.”
Barbara nods. “It’s the only way, and it gets less scary as time goes on. You’ve got to allow yourself the chance to work things out. You’ll survive it. And there are some very good times to be had, just remember that.”
“Probably not with Ted. He hates me now.” I start to cry. “Could you talk to him for me?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “So many people make that mistake, trying to get a friend to be in the middle. You’ve got to confront him yourself.”
She frowns. “You’re feeling too sorry for yourself. Of course you can. Look at how far you’ve come in the time I’ve known you.”
She’s right. I used to be scared of everything when we first met. I can even deal with bats. Now I’m just scared of some things.
We sit and swing back and forth while I think about all that’s been said.
All of a sudden I hear Carl yell, “Come on, Ted. Let’s see how high they can go.”
I feel someone pushing me higher and higher.
Barbara’s swinging higher and higher too.
“Are you okay?” It’s Ted’s voice that I hear.
“I want to get down. It’s too high.” I slow down.
He helps me to stop the swing. I was a little afraid he was going to keep me swinging until I flew over the bars.
Barbara’s stopped too.
She gets off and hugs Carl.
I get off and look at Ted.
We just stand there.
I want to yell, So, where’s Betty? Where were you? But I don’t scream. In fact, I don’t say anything.
We stare at each other.
Carl says, “Barbara and I’ll be over at the volleyball court setting up. Be there in a few minutes. We’re playing your team for the championship.”
Team. I’m not even sure we’re talking to each other.
They go off, arm in arm.
Ted and I just look at each other.
I think about what Barbara said.
“Ted, let’s try to work this out. I’m sorry I didn’t explain that I was going into town. I guess I just didn’t take your feelings into account. I should have talked to you about it.”
He looks at me. “I’m sorry I walked away like that. I know you’ve got a right to do things with other people. It’s just that all day long, the kids were driving me nuts and all I kept thinking about was that I’d feel better when I could be with you for a while. And then you were going off. I really wanted to be with you, to be with someone special, someone who didn’t keep asking me to tie shoelaces or scream ‘There’s a Fungus Among Us.’ Someone who didn’t pretend to pull cooties out of my hair. I just wanted to spend some time with you.”
“You didn’t even give me a chance to explain, to talk it out with you. You went over to Betty.”
He nods. “I know. That was lousy . . .to you . . .to me . . .to Betty. I wasn’t being fair to anyone. Look, Marcy, I just walked her up to her cabin and then came right back down again to talk to Carl.”
There's a Bat in Bunk Five Page 8