We stayed on the dance floor for several more dance tunes before we walked back to our table. I finished my vodka tonic in one swallow, and Colin ordered us more drinks.
“You see, you always underestimate yourself. You can tear up the dance floor, high heels and all. You are an amazing woman, and I thank God—even if I admit to not being a true believer—that you were allowed to come into my life and change it. You have brought me out of a dark tunnel of loneliness, sadness, and despair. Baby, don’t you ever feel bad about that. Meeting you has been the single best thing that has ever happened in my life,” Colin said as we waited on our drinks.
I grabbed his hands and held them in my own. “Baby, what do you expect me to say? You brought me back from the brink. I was the walking dead before you came along, and I can’t thank you enough for bringing me back to life. I love you more than I have ever loved any man in my life, and that says a lot. I want to be with you always, and you better fucking feel the same about me.”
He leaned into me and whispered in my ear, “That goes without saying. I am so fucking in love with you, I would die if you left me. You said I am a gentleman, but I’m not. I want you to be with me always, and you better say yes.”
The answer to his statement was on the tip of my tongue when the waitress brought our drinks and set them down in front of us. I sipped from my vodka tonic with its three pieces of ice cubes while Colin drank a whiskey sour. He swigged it down in several swallows.
“You know I want to be with you more than anyone else, sweetheart,” I replied. “Why do you always have to ask that question? If I didn’t want to be with you, Colin, I wouldn’t be. It’s as simple as that, so stop being so damn insecure and trust in me—hell, trust in us and what we have, babe.”
“You mean that? I know we probably have had more than our share to drink and I don’t want to force you into something you’re not ready for. We have been moving very fast. I know that and so do you, but I still believe what we have is very real, and I know you do too.”
“I know, but some romances aren’t meant to take months and years to develop. Sometimes, feelings are too strong and the attraction is just so powerful, our hearts open without our permission and we have to go along with it.”
Colin grabbed my hands and looked at me with gorgeous crystal eyes. “You’re perfect.”
I smiled in return. “We both know that isn’t true, but it’s nice to hear it nevertheless.”
***
By the time we arrived back to our apartment, both our engines were revving into the red zone and all we could think about was sating our lust by burying one another in each other’s arms.
The feeling was absolutely addictive, and although I knew it wouldn’t always be this way between us, it would be great while it lasted. Our love for each other and the sexual way we expressed it would be, without a doubt, one of my most cherished memories about our trip.
If I could narrow my myriad of emotions down to one feeling alone, it would have been contentment. Colin always made me feel special and unique, like I truly was the only woman in the world for him. I, in turn, responded to every kiss and caress. That night was no different. We could make love hundreds of times and never would it feel like we were going through the same old routine. Our love life always felt fresh and new, like the first time without all the awkward feelings and emotions that came with the initial experience of sex with a new partner.
I didn’t have the best track record mainly because I’d only shared myself sexually with two men before Colin. I was scared that sex with him would be slightly awkward and unsure of whether we would have that amazing sexual chemistry, but it was a chance I had been willing to take. Strangely, sex hadn’t been awkward with Colin’s brother at all, so why should I feel like it would be all that different with Colin? True, it was ultimately lust and little else, but sleeping with Liam felt like coming home to familiar territory, not an entirely new and alien experience.
Perhaps that’s what made it so easy to be with Colin. Liam and Colin were brothers, after all, and although I could admit there was a real feeling of love and compassion between Colin and me, he never felt like a stranger. His scent, the warmth of his body, took absolutely no time for me to get used to. He was perfect, and that made our relationship thrilling and unique but all the more exciting and real.
We kissed with a burning passion as he fit the key into the lock and opened the door. I slipped the key out and threw it on the sofa while he slid the deadbolt on the door. He’d barely gotten me to the sitting room when I threw him against the wall and ripped the buttons off his classy dress shirt. As I began to kiss down his standing body, he immediately starting rummaging through my hair as I bent down on my knees and undid the button to his pants. I slid the zipper down.
“Wait,” Colin said, breathing hard. “Don’t you think I should do you first?”
I grabbed his manhood with my right hand. It was as hard as the proverbial rock, and I caressed him seductively as I murmured, “No.”
It was so easy to tease him. As I ran my tongue up the length of his cock from underneath, his face grew scarlet with desire. He tried to control his breathing.
Before Colin had come along, I could comfortably admit I hated giving head to guys. I hated the way it tasted, and I despised how often men insisted on choking me half to death by trying to shove their length fully into a mouth that obviously was not going to accommodate. Not all women had attended the Linda Lovelace school of Deep Throat. Most of us had more important issues to worry about, like getting a good education and hopefully finding a decent job after our schooling was finally over.
However, Colin had changed my mind about the whole activity, and I loved to have him in my mouth. With Colin, it felt natural and a complete part of our sex life. I’d learned to deep throat him on my own, and although it took some getting used to, it was actually pleasurable and exciting with the right guy. There was something deeply erotic about bringing him to orgasm in my mouth, and I adored the look on his face as he came.
I slid his cock into my mouth and slowly worked him all the way inside. I could smell the musky scent of his skin and the cologne he wore, but the most wonderful sensation was feeling him as he filled my mouth and my throat. I controlled my breathing and gag reflex as I worked him in and out at a snail’s pace and he moaned.
“Fuck, Deirdre, I can’t hold out much longer. I’m gonna come, babe,” he rasped.
Those were the exact words I wanted to hear. To show my approval, I sucked the mushroom head of his cock harder. Then I teased him with shallow strokes of his manhood while I caressed the rest of his length. He grabbed the back of my neck with one of his hands while caressing my scalp with the other. I soon had a mouthful of his hot, sweet-salty taste on my tongue. As I swallowed his essence down my throat, I continued to caress him with my mouth until he was completely sated and empty.
“How do I return the favor?” he asked in a soft voice as he peeled his ruined dress shirt off.
Colin had a terrific body, all lean muscles and hidden strength. I traced the tribal tattoo along his lower back, and he sighed. I loved the feel of his skin against mine and drew out the process of touching and caressing him as long as I could.
Slowly, I stood up on shaky feet and walked toward the bedroom. He grabbed me from behind by the waist. I slipped out of my shoes as he began to kiss my neck, one arm wrapped firmly around me while the other wandered underneath my dress. His hand slid past my lace thong, and he buried two fingers inside my soaking sex while his thumb caressed my clit. I found myself rocking against his hand though I wanted to get to the bedroom, but it didn’t seem like that was going to happen at that moment.
We somehow walked to the sofa. He bent me over the arm of the sofa and slid up my dress until it was wrapped around my waist. My thong was soon a distant memory as he forced me open from behind and began to tackle the nub of my sex with an insistent tongue. I widened my stance until it felt like my whole sex was planted on his mouth and altho
ugh I should have felt somewhat embarrassed, Colin had a genuine way of making me forget all my inhibitions. I never felt exposed around him, no matter how many, or few, clothes I was wearing.
I had turned into one of those people who felt completely comfortable with my lover exploring every crevice of my body, and there was absolutely nothing strange or awkward about it. In fact, he knew every button to press, every caress that would bring me to orgasm faster or slow the feeling down. Tonight he wasn’t in any hurry and neither was I.
He stopped his exploration and turned me around. I was still exposed as he grabbed me by the back of my neck and brought me in for a passionate kiss. We tasted one another, and I sighed into the kiss.
Colin sat me on the arm of the sofa and slid his cock inside my aching wet sex. The feeling of having him inside of me was too amazing to describe as he unzipped my dress from the back to expose my breasts. His mouth immediately sought one of my nipples. He suckled and caressed it with his tongue as I gasped and tried to hang on while he thrusted in and out of me.
He slowly brought us down to the floor, so I straddled his waist. He had more access to my breasts while I controlled the pacing of our sex. While he focused on slowly driving me crazy with his teasing strokes of my breasts and nipples, I drove him deeper and harder inside me before I began to pick up the pace.
“Calm down,” he murmured against my skin. “We have all night.”
My eyes met his in the dimness of the room, and I nodded as he slipped my dress off completely. He picked us both up and carried us into the bedroom, where he laid us both on the bed. We hadn’t disconnected from one another the entire walk to the room. His manhood had been buried inside me the whole time.
I spread my legs, and he adjusted his weight so I didn’t feel suffocated by him. His arms straightened out, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He thrust inside me with an achingly slow rhythm. Then he sped it up and fucked me hard, fast, and rough.
Occasionally, he would lean closer to me and we would kiss passionately. Those were my favorite moments, as we were completely in sync with one another and what our bodies were feeling.
My body was primed and ready to come yet Colin purposely teased me to prolong the inevitable as long as possible. I rolled us over until he was on his back and I was on top again. I bucked my hips, pulling his cock into me and slowly milking both of our orgasms. He was a lot closer than I was, but all he had to do to bring me up to speed was play with my ultra sensitive nipples and I was again on the edge of an explosive orgasm.
The pace became quick, frenzied, and before we both knew it, I began to come shortly after he began his descent into a pleasure that could never fully be described with words alone.
I sighed as the last of the ecstatic feeling left me and with energy I didn’t know I still possessed, I rolled off his body and collapsed on my back, legs still splayed open in an overtly sexual manner I was too dazed to consider changing at that moment. My eyes were closed when I felt Colin’s mouth on my still pulsating clit, and I moaned before I tried to close my legs.
“Shh, just enjoy it. I wasn’t finished,” he whispered as he touched my nipples again, and I arched my back while my legs fell open on their own.
His sexually aggressive tongue lapped at my clit before his mouth surrounded the nub with hot warmth that shattered me in pieces before putting me back together again. I was sore from our earlier tryst, but the moment his fingers slid inside me and found my g-spot, all the discomfort disappeared as he caressed the ultra sensitive spongy tissue.
Between his tongue caressing my clit and his fingers teasing and bringing me to the brink of yet another orgasm I had no idea still existed in my body, I was nearing an edge of pure pleasure I never knew existed except with my favorite vibrator, which was known as the Rabbit for a reason.
However, there were spots even the Rabbit couldn’t reach. The human body in all of its awesomeness did so much better, and when a man really knew what he was doing and his fingers hit all the right spots in a woman’s body, it was something that could not be duplicated with a piece of plastic. My orgasm started at the base of my clit and, like ocean water flowing in during high tide, spread throughout my body.
Colin slid me over, and I managed to get on my knees as he slid his cock inside me and fucked me hard and rough for several minutes. His fingers never left my ultra sensitive clit, and every time I thought I couldn’t experience another ounce of pleasure, he brought me to another orgasm. I lost count the moment my vaginal muscles clinched around his manhood in a possessive manner and milked another orgasm from him.
He withdrew and lay on his back, clearly spent as a layer of sweat covered his body. I crawled to him and lay against his warm body. Although I felt completely and utterly sated for the night, I knew I’d definitely regret it in the morning when we caught our flight back to the States.
I felt him spoon me, and I allowed him to encircle my body with his possessive arms and fill me with overwhelming warmth and a feeling of safety.
“You belong to me. Not just now, but forever and always. I love you, Deirdre,” he whispered before he kissed my neck.
“I love you too, honey.”
I kissed his hands and inhaled their scent. They smelled like sex, cologne, and perfume—the very scent I’d worn that evening. It was the scent I fell asleep with surrounding my nostrils, and it chased me from this world into the next.
***
Our late night almost cost us a flight back to Seattle, as we were late waking and late getting to the airport. We were weighed down with packages this time, and it cost us a weight baggage fee. By the time we made it to the gate, the last call for our flight announced itself on the loud speakers and we quickly handed over our American passports and tickets to the attendant. She handed them back and murmured something in French about “les américains.”
Colin and I walked the platform, went directly to the first-class section, and took our seats.
“Are you going to miss it?” he asked after we dealt with a smooth take off.
We continued to climb and my head did a slow whirl from the hangover I had to endure while my stomach grumbled, and not in a good way. “Of course, but it’s not like we can’t come back any time we like. It’s just a short plane ride away, and it’ll be nice to get back to real life.”
He laughed. “And what were these last few weeks we have spent together? Fake life? It felt pretty fucking real to me.”
“I don’t mean it like that,” I responded. Suddenly, I realized I was going to be sick.
I bolted from my chair as an attendant rushed toward me. “You cannot get out of your seat yet. The captain hasn’t turned off the seatbelt sign.”
I pushed past her and locked myself in the bathroom. Then I lifted the lid, and my breakfast and most of the alcohol I’d consumed the night before by the smell alone ended up in the toilet. The smell itself made me sicker than I already was, and I vomited until I dry-heaved.
After I wiped my mouth with toilet tissue, I threw it in the toilet and flushed. I stood and rinsed my mouth before I splashed cold water over my face. As I dried my face with several paper towels, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. How stupid was I?
The whole time we were on vacation, I never once got my period. I was on the pill and had been taking placebos the last couple of days, and yet I’d never spotted once, let alone had a period. What the hell was wrong with this particular scenario and situation?
My heart thundered in my chest so loudly, I barely registered the attendant banging on the door. I breathed deeply before I answered the door and faced a scarlet-faced blonde.
“Je suis désolée,” I apologized in fluent French. “Je suis enceinte.”
Somehow announcing my pending condition in French made it seem better, less real. The attendant relaxed visibly and sighed.
She responded, “Pas problème. I will bring you some juice as soon as the captain clears the seatbelt sign.”
“Merci,” I wh
ispered. I took my seat next to Colin and snuggled within his warm embrace.
“Sweetheart, are you okay?” he asked, concerned. “Did we drink too much last night?”
“Yes and no, but that’s not the issue. Looks like everything in our relationship will always be unconventional. I am on the pill, yet somehow I managed to become pregnant in the last few weeks. How the fuck does that happen? I’m not even a full month, so you can relax because it means nothing. I could be wrong…or I could miscarry. My mom suffered two miscarriages after Caitlyn. After the second one, she had a tubal-ligation.”
Colin paled noticeably. “Are you considering an abortion?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’m just telling you not to get too excited about this because I am on birth control and it makes it easier for a miscarriage to occur. Drew and I had a scare way back in college about seven years ago. We were going to get rid of the baby and the morning he was supposed to drive me to the clinic, I miscarried.”
He covered his face with both hands. “Please tell me you wouldn’t dare do that to me. You couldn’t abort our baby, could you?”
“Colin, I have never had an abortion. I told you I miscarried the day we were going to do something about it. I’ve always been grateful the baby made the decision and not us because…it would have been a scandal. His dad is a senator and Mom and Dad would have been so disappointed in me. They would have made me move closer to home or taken the baby and cared for him or her themselves before they would have ever wanted us to do something so drastic,” I explained as the seatbelt sign clicked off.
Moments later, the flight attendant walked over and brought me a glass of orange juice. I thanked her and drank it down quickly.
Colin laughed. “I’m sure you’re wishing I had told you my colossal secret when I had the chance.”
I set the glass down and closed my eyes. “No, I’m glad I stopped you because I don’t want to know about it. Don’t you think some secrets are worth keeping? I think whatever you wanted to tell me would just tear us apart so leave it alone, Colin. I don’t need the drama in my life. Baby, it’s best this way.”
Atonement (The Atonement Duet Book 1) Page 19