by Shey Stahl
I had no problems in that particular area, that’s for sure. My engine was up to race temperature in a matter of seconds.
Jameson’s eyes searched mine as he spoke, watching me intently. “The machine sends out a signal and measures the time it takes to echo back. The longer it takes, the thicker the material. It measures the cylinder wall thickness as well as the cylinder heads.”
“Is it an effective test...this sonic testing?” I did this snicker-snort thing because it was the only other noise I could make at that moment so I didn’t moan and ruin all this dirty engine talking.
Slowly, he drew in his bottom lip, his tongue dragging across it just as slowly as his eyes squinted slightly. “It’s a very effective test, if done correctly.” His breathing increased when I reached forward and grabbed him by his shirt.
“Let’s see how long we really can go.”
“I think we have enough heat in the engine.” He leaned closer breathing a throaty string of words in my ear that sealed whatever deal I wanted. “And I can also...go all night long.”
5. Rev Limiter – Sway
Rev Limiter – Modern engines are controlled by electronic mapping software that controls things such as fuel consumption and ignition timing. Rev limiting is used for two purposes: to keep the engine from exceeding its maximum rotational speed and exploding into pieces of very expensive shrapnel and to adhere to speed limit rules on pit lane.
“So how was getting caught the morning after?”
“How the fuck did you know about that?” I growled at Emma with a mouth full of food.
“Spencer—who else?” Emma took a bite of her eggs, chewing slowly. “Look at it this way; they don’t know it was you.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding since she started talking. “I can’t say the same for Jameson,” I warned. “he knows about you and Aiden.”
“What do you mean he knows?”
“That’s exactly what I mean, Emma.” I answered taking another bite of my blueberry pancakes. “We saw you.” I raised my eyebrows at her as we sat there in the corner booth of the Cracker Barrel restaurant in Downingtown Pennsylvania.
We had arrived in Pennsylvania early this morning and decided to get some breakfast before Jameson had to be at the track.
Alley and Spencer were already at the track so Jameson invited Emma and Aiden to come along with us and I knew the reason why.
Emma slouched in the booth throwing her tiny arms over her head. Aiden was in the bathroom and Jameson suddenly had to make a phone call when Aiden got up.
I’m pretty sure he was having a conversation with him about what we witnessed. I actually feared for Aiden’s safety, which was why I kept looking over my shoulder to see where the hell Jameson had disappeared to.
Emma perked up with a sense of alarm. “Wait,” she glanced around suspiciously. “Where did Jameson go?”
I tried to play it off, really did, but my facial expression must have betrayed me.
Emma threw her napkin on the table. “That stupid protective asshole!” she spat and tried to get up. “Why can’t he mind his own business.”
I jumped up and pummeled her, knocking us both against the back of the U shaped booth.
“Calm down.” I grabbed her head, pushed it against the funbags, and began petting her spiky black hair as if she was a damn cat. “Just calm down. He probably just wanted to have a few words with him.”
Emma was pissed so I knew my usual tactics with showing the funbags to Jameson to calm him down, wouldn’t calm Emma down.
I tried a different approach. Petting her.
“Get off me!” she snapped pushing me away. “He is not having a few words with him and you know it. Look what happened to Ryder?” Her eyes scanned the restaurant. “Since when has Jameson ever used his damn words? He only knows violence.” She sighed shaking her head dejectedly. “Poor Aiden, he doesn’t stand a chance against Jameson when he’s angry.”
She was right, poor lanky Aiden didn’t stand a chance.
We both looked up when we heard shuffling of feet to see Jameson sit down across from me and nonchalantly began eating his pancakes again. He never said a word, just continued looking down at his plate and eating as though nothing had just happened.
I’m inclined to think that latter, especially when Aiden returned.
With a bloody lip, bloody nose and the beginnings of a black eye, Aiden said down just as calmly as Jameson had.
One look at him and Emma went into fit of pure hysteria.
She was yelling at the top of lungs at Jameson while Aiden remained silent beside her, looking down at his hands.
Just like any other situation I was faced with, I started laughing because Emma was acting like an Umpa Lumpa on crack and Jameson...well, Jameson was being Jameson. Refusing to look up at any of us, his face set like stone in a grim expression eating his pancakes.
“I can’t believe you Jameson!” Emma screamed and then burst into tears causing Jameson to finally look up.
I don’t think he ever intended to hurt Emma but it went that way.
“Just because you’re incapable of having a normal relationship with anyone, doesn’t mean I can’t.” Emma told him. “I love Aiden.”
Slowly, Jameson shook his head but didn’t say anything. His gaze dropped to his plate once again as he continued eating.
“You’re such a hypocrite, Jameson.” At that point, Emma was pissed that Jameson is not paying attention to what she has to say, so she added fuel to the fire. “You think I don’t know what you two are doing?”
I dropped my fork just about the time Jameson’s jaw clenched.
He slowly looked up at Emma and I would not want to be on the receiving end of that glare he was now giving her.
“This has nothing to do with me or Sway,” His voice venomously warning.
Those who knew Jameson well; knew right now was the point that you quit while you’re ahead or you can officially say you’ve reached that point of no return.
Sitting there as quietly as I possibly could, I watched Jameson and Emma stare at each other.
Aiden’s eyes shifted towards me so I mouthed, “I’m sorry” to him.
He just winked.
I think Aiden knew this was coming and knew damn well once Spencer found out, he’d probably have another black eye and possibly a broken nose.
With a dramatic sigh, Emma reached beside her purse and threw a box of posters into Jameson’s lap.
“Sign these.” She stood reaching for Aiden by the arm. “You’re an asshole Jameson and don’t ever involve yourself in my love life again.”
We officially reached that point of no return.
And this is when the temper of the two-year old emerged.
Jameson slammed his fist against the table knocking glasses and plates around. “You don’t know anything about love, Emma.” He clipped. “You’re twenty-one years old.”
“And you do, Jameson? You’re exactly fourteen months older than me.” Emma placed her hand on her hip, tears still spilling down her reddened cheeks.
Jameson didn’t say anything just continued to stare at her. Even though I remained sitting across from him, I could distinctly see that warning look he was giving Emma to shut up.
But she didn’t and I couldn’t blame her. She was mad and she should be. Having two older brothers, Emma has always been on the receiving end of the brotherly witness protection program.
“Do you really think this is going to end well for either of you?” Emma gestured between us. “You’re incapable of loving anyone for the right reasons, Jameson. You’re going to break her heart.” She turned to me. “And you need to wake up and see that.”
Turning on her heel sharply, she stormed out of the restaurant with Aiden leaving me with an absolutely livid Jameson.
He was quiet for a long moment with his eyes fixated on the place Emma was once standing. I knew exactly what was coming.
My mind began counting down the eruption as if i
t were a missile launch for detonation.
“Fucking bullshit,” He mumbled under his breath.
With that two-year old temper, suddenly he grabbed the edge of the table flipping it over into the middle of the restaurant sending food, glass, silverware, and drinks everywhere across the floor.
Everyone just starred at Jameson, including me.
And to think this was a family restaurant.
“C’mon.” He ordered sharply grasping my wrist as we made our way to the cashier stepping over the mess.
I didn’t say a word; just follow behind him carefully avoiding the questioning glances surrounding us. I assumed they were all wondering if I was with a lunatic. I wanted to say, “Don’t mind him, he’s unstable.”
Jameson threw two hundred dollars towards the timid cashier. “This should cover our meal and the mess.”
Shaken, she nodded slowly taking the money just as Jameson stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
Once we were in the parking lot, he got in the car without saying anything.
And though it would have been completely inappropriate at that moment, I nearly giggled just to lighten the mood.
As we sat there quietly, me holding in my laughter and Jameson gazing out the windshield as though he was trying to burn a hole through it.
After a few moments, he started the car and drove towards Long Pond where the track was located without saying anything.
I felt bad for Emma, she seemed upset and over the years, she had become like a sister to me. The last thing I wanted was to see her upset. But I was also irritated she brought me into the argument. She was right though.
I knew I was heading for heartbreak but I also knew that if I didn’t stay and see where this went between us, I would always regret it and if I thought I would regret not doing something, I did it. Hints how I got in this particular situation with the raging bull next to me.
To understand me, you’d have to understand my childhood.
My mom died when I was very young and though I have vague memories of her, I will never forget what she said to me the last time I saw her alive.
Rachel, my mother, kept her sickness from both Charlie and me. She didn’t tell Charlie until she only had a couple months to live. Rachel always lived her life to the fullest, each day she did exactly what she wanted to do and when she wanted to do it. She never let anyone else dictate when or how she did something. Looking back, she did this because she knew she was sick and had very little time left. She wanted to experience everything life had to offer her at twenty-five and she did.
The day she died, I was sitting in her room with her. I’d just made her a Valentine’s Day card and was reading it to her. Once I finished, she smiled and gave me a hug. I curled up in the hospital bed with her she’d called home for the last two months.
And then she gave me her farewell speech.
“Sway, mommy needs to tell you a few things okay.” I nodded with tears in my eyes. “Mommy is very sick you know.” I nodded again.
Charlie had told me on numerous occasions that mommy was sick and wouldn’t be around much longer. I didn’t understand what that meant at the time but being six, I just went along with it. Thankfully, my child innocence provided me with not understanding the magnitude of this.
“Baby,” she began softly, “you know how much mommy loves you right?”
I nodded again and continued to listen to her low strained breathing with my head rested on her chest.
“I want you to remember that. I want you to live each day like it’s your last. If you have something to say to someone, say it to them, don’t wait. When you’re older and you find someone that you love, don’t waste time. Tell them you love them. If there is something you want in life, make it happen. Don’t settle for anything because you think you can’t have what you really want.”
At that point, I was crying because I knew this is her farewell speech to me. Even with the innocence I had in the situation, I knew enough that this was the end.
“I was very young when your father and I had you. I don’t regret having you at all. You’ve brought so much to my life and showed me love that I thought people only dreamed of having. When you were first placed in my arms, I was scared that I’d made a mistake. That I would mess you up somehow but in my moment of fear, you looked up at me. Right then, when I was met with the most beautiful emerald eyes I’ve ever seen. You gave me this look and in that instant I knew I could do it. I knew I could do it because you’d be there to show me how and you have. You showed me there’s so much more to life then personal possessions. There’s love and the love between a mother and her child is beyond anything I could have ever managed. Just remember that honey.”
I never completely understood what she intended by the speech but as I got older, the speech began to make sense and I never forgot it. Rachel lived her life to the fullest and she wanted me to do the same.
From that point on, I did things because I wanted to, not because someone else wanted me to. Except when that someone else was Jameson. I couldn’t explain why I held myself to different standards with Jameson, but I did. I loved him and nothing changed that for me.
My logic was off and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m completely insane but for now, for this time I was with him, I was going to have fun and live this life to the fullest. I spent entirely too long waiting to see what would happen. I was the doer now!
I told Charlie I’d be home in time for the Modified Nationals and then after that was the Big E Weekend where the Northern Sprint Tour and the Outlaw’s would be in town, that meant I would get to see Jameson that weekend as well. He had two cars racing in the World of Outlaws so naturally; Jameson said he’d make an appearance for it.
After that, his schedule would be hectic until the end of the season.
We could make this work—even if I were only a friend with benefits, at least I’d be seeing a lot of benefits.
This was my logic—remember?
Completely irrational foolish break your heart logic, but it was mine. So for now, I was going to enjoy my three weeks of friends with benefits and put my emotions aside.
That was my plan. Not that it would turn out well but it was my plan.
Once we pulled into the pit-entrance, the race weekend was in full swing and Jameson was now in race mode.
It might not have been the best timing but I decided to try to make him see Emma’s side. I didn’t want him going into practice upset, as he tends to get a little hasty out there if his mood is off.
“Jameson, you should apologize to Emma and Aiden.” I suggested looking at the ten text messages I had from Emma apologizing for bringing me into the argument.
“I will not apologize to Aiden. I will apologize to Emma, when she calms down, but Aiden,” he shook his head. “He had it coming. I asked him repeatedly if anything was going on and he said no.” he turned his head to look at me. “That’s what he gets for not being honest with me in the beginning.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe he was afraid to tell you?” I pointed out in the form of a question.
“Oh please, spare me the bullshit. He’s an adult not a five-year old! If he has something to say, he should just say it.”
“You can be scary when you want to be and Spencer...well, there are no words for Spencer. I don’t blame them for not wanting to tell you guys.”
He looked at me with a shocked expression, his brow raised. “You’re taking their side in this?”
“I’m just saying you should be nicer to them about this.”
“I will not. If Aiden has a problem with me then fine, he can come talk to me about it.” Jameson showed his credentials to the NASCAR officials and then pulled through the gate when she waved him by. “I’m not apologizing.”
Pulling up to the motor coach in the driver’s compound, sure enough poor Aiden was sporting another new black eye but he looked relieved to have everything out in the open. At least they wouldn’t have to sneak ar
ound. Jameson and I however, we still have to sneak around.
Last night, after the race car incident, I told Jameson my crankcase needed a day’s break. It was not only sore but I had a serious case of sticker burn that was making it a little difficult to sit today or walk for that matter. If you’ve ever had rug burn before, the result is similar.
I had a feeling this “days break” was also part of Jameson’s anger issues today, especially when his hand was sliding up the back of my shirt once we are in the motor coach, alone, in the bedroom.
He was supposed to be getting his race suit on for practice but his camshaft had other plans.
I slapped his hand away. “Jameson...no,”
He sighed bringing his lips to my collarbone, kissing along it. “Please, honey...I need you.” His voice was low and strained and was not helping my resolve one tiny bit.
“I’m sore,” I whined with a pouty lip.
“Too much align boring?” he raised an eyebrow while backing me up towards the queen-sized bed.
In case you’re wondering what the fuck align boring is, it’s a process that some do to an engine that involves taking a metal rod and pushing it through the crankcase repeatedly to make sure everything inside the crankcase was properly aligned.
“Yeah,”
“You know, align boring assures proper bearing alignment as well. With all that misalignment we took care of last night, maintenance is just as important. I’m only looking out for you.”
“I know, but you’re camshaft has too much lift,” was my next attempt.
“Are you suffering from valve binding?”
“What in the hell is valve binding?”
“That’s when a camshaft has too much lift...” his hips pushed forward showing me just how much lift he had. “It opens the valve spring too far creating valve binding.”