by Hart, Cary
This time she shoots me an irritated look as she turns, but she still doesn’t speak.
“Oh wait. That didn’t come out right.” I hurry and put the paint in the shaker. “I just meant I was…” Her back is to me before I can finish. “Noticing you were the girl from today,” I say to no one.
As the paint mixes, I stand and wait for her to turn again, but she doesn’t. I get a little side glance, but once she notices me watching, she turns away. Maybe she will need some paint.
Eyeballing the time, I realize Dillion should be back any minute.
“Paint done?” The older lady is back with a cart full of supplies.
“Perfect timing.” I walk around the counter, grabbing a wooden paint stick and opener as I lift the paint into her cart.
“Did you go talk to her?” Her voice travels loud enough for Niki’s sister to hear, causing her to let out a soft giggle.
“No.” I tilt my head to the heavens and beg for a do-over.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” She tries to maneuver the cart, but a wheel sticks.
Picking the front up and giving it a little kick, I set it back down. “For some privacy.”
“Ahhh! Well, you go get ’em tiger.” She makes a clawing motion with her hand and roars.
“Seriously?” I mutter as she wheels away.
“Hey, man. Thanks for covering.” Dillion walks back in, soda in hand.
“No problem.” I hand him a list. “I have to take care of some things. Can you have one of the stock hands get this order together and meet me up front?”
“Sure thing, man.”
“Thanks.”
Picking my phone up off the counter, I stick it in my front pocket and head over to coffee girl.
“What I was trying to say…” I begin to clear up the situation earlier, but look down to see her putting all the paint samples in the right places. Not looking at the names, just putting them back by a quick once-over glance. “Why you are doing that?”
She twists to look at me, holding a handful of samples. “I don’t know.”
Reaching for the samples, I say, “You don’t have to do that.”
“No, these are mine. I’m helping my sister redecorate.” She takes a step back.
Am I making her uncomfortable? After what just happened, I’m the one who should be embarrassed.
“Interesting.” I stand, hands in pockets, rocking back and forth.
Something about this girl makes me want to reach out and touch her, and her reaction is telling me she would like anything but.
“What? You don’t think I can do it?” She folds her arms, challenging me.
“There you are. Now I can tell you are Niki’s sister.” I flash her a smile.
“What’s that supposed to mean, and how did you know she’s my sister?”
“Whoa…” I hold my hands in the air. “How about we start over. Obviously, you are taking this all wrong.” I reach my hand out. “I’m Kyle. Kyle Lewis.”
I stretch my hand out a little further, and she finally takes it. “I’m Nina Sanders.” And quickly lets go.
“Nice to meet you, and just to clear things up, I was staring but I wasn’t ogling. Not that you aren’t ogle-worthy because you are more than.”
“Oh.”
The way she responds irritates me a little. This girl, woman, is too cute and sexy as hell. Her hair dark and long, body slim, and her eyes...they are a green I’ve never seen before. I’m going to have to investigate them later.
Later?
“I was just shocked that you were here, in my store, looking at paint samples. That’s all,” I tell her, ignoring my thoughts. If Niki even had a suspicion I went there, she would start sharpening her knife now.
“Okay,” she responds, blushing.
“Did you need me to mix some paint up for you?”
“Nope.” She waves the samples in front of her. “I think I’m good.”
“Need help finding anything else?” I try my damnedest to keep her here a little bit longer. Hell, I would show her every piece of inventory if it meant I could be near her.
“I’m good.” She begins to walk backward with the cutest smile on her face. One edge higher than the other. Not quite a smirk, but not a full smile either. “I need to get going so I can draw up some sketches.” She stuffs the samples into her back pocket.
“Let me walk you out.”
“It’s alright. You have work to do.” She turns and when she does, she runs right into the end cap, knocking off a few boxes of nails.
“I’m so sorry,” she says at the same time I let her know it’s okay. Both bending down, we clash heads. “Crap.”
She tries to stand up, but trips over a box behind her. Falling into my arms, she relaxes for a split second before she totally stiffens.
“I need to get going.” She wiggles free.
“Nina, you okay?” I shove my hands in my back pockets. As much as I want to reach out and examine her from head to toe, I can tell my touch isn’t welcome.
“Yeah, I’m good.” She pivots and heads for the doors.
“Let me walk you out.” I follow.
“No need. Front row.” She waves as the automatic doors open and is in her car before they can close.
“Damn.”
“What’s wrong, son?” Jimmy comes up placing his hand on my back.
“Nothing.” I lean away. This is one subject we will never talk about again. The last time, his help cost me the only woman I’ve ever loved.
Nina
I’m sitting on the couch, which is now in the middle of the room so I can get a better feel for my canvas. My sketch pad on my lap and pencil in hand, a creative outburst flows from my imagination to my fingertips. Paint samples taped to pages, pillows flung all over the floor. To anyone else, it would look like a disaster, but to me…art.
I’m not sure how long I have been at this, but I’m guessing it’s been a while. Once I got back from town, I was on edge from running into Mr. Tall Guy.
Kyle Lewis is everything that I would have wanted before. He is perfect. Dark hair, chiseled jaw and steel blue eyes that pierce right through to your core. The only problem? I had one of those before and I can’t risk having one of those again.
I push him out of my mind with each room. Measuring, mentally rearranging, I fall into a routine, a therapy of sorts, and it feels so good.
“Nina! We have pizza.” Niki comes barreling in.
“Oh good! Niki…look at this.” I gather up all my ideas.
“What happened in here?” Gavin’s eyes are wide. “I thought you were going to make it better, not worse.” His smile gives him away.
“Chill. I’ll put everything back before bed.” Oh crap! What time is it? I look around the room, searching for a clock.
Niki notices my panic. “Ten. We just got off work.”
“That’s right. I almost forgot.” I was so distracted by Kyle that I forgot Niki called the house phone to tell me how I needed to get a new cell phone because she had no way of reaching me to let me know she and Gavin had to stay late.
“Uh-huh…tomorrow we get you a phone,” Niki mutters, following Gavin into the kitchen. “Meat lovers or veggie?” Niki weighs the box in each hand, teasing.
“Both, but while you guys are eating I have to show you this.”
“You. Come with me.” Gavin flashes his megawatt smile, letting me know it’s okay. “Couch gets fixed now.”
Niki and Gavin look at each other. “Couch cuddle time!”
“I’ll grab the pizza and beer. You guys fix the couch.”
“Whoa! I am not cuddling with you guys.” I hold up my hands.
Not waiting on me, Gavin puts the couch back to where he had it.
“Of course not, Nina. You can sit over there and show us your designs.” Niki sets the pizza on the coffee table and hands Gavin a beer. “You want one?”
Scrunching up my nose, I pass, trying to push back the memory of Brandon breathing on me
after a long night out with his co-workers. “Entertaining clients” is what he called it.
“You guys get settled because sitting here is like a kid waiting to open presents on Christmas Day. Except, I feel more like Santa, not the kids.” I start passing out the sketches. “Because I’m giving the gifts, not receiving. Well, I guess it would be my present since I love doing this. Oh my god, I’m rambling.”
“Speaking of Christmas, remember that old record player mom had? Each Christmas she would play the Chipmunks’ Christmas album.” She trails off and starts singing, Gavin following behind.
“Niki!” I pick up one of the pillows, tossing it over her head to get her attention, but yet avoid an epic food disaster.
“I’m sorry! I’m just messing with you.” She takes a long pull of her beer. “We’re ready.”
Her saying “we’re ready” was like announcing a race. I was primed with design and rearing to go.
Ready. Set. Go.
Colors, lines, fabrics, I’m consumed and they listen to me go on and on until they can’t keep their eyes open anymore. All of us head to bed and for once, I’m excited to start my new day. Not too thrilled about waking up at five a.m., but going in early means I get to get off early to work on the designs.
It’s been so long since I have felt like this, was able to be creative and free. My imagination was my independence. Brandon used to encourage me when he thought it was a hobby, but the moment he thought I wanted to explore it, the excuses started coming in. I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion or be good at anything that would cause me to be successful.
So, this moment healed a little part of me.
Nina
Today, I’m just Nina, an ordinary girl, waking up in the morning and heading to work. But first I’m going to be tired ordinary Nina, because let’s face it, mornings suck. If I don’t get some coffee stat, I’ll be no good to the grouchy customers coming into Java Talk, looking for me to save their day. One. Cup. At. A. Time.
Grabbing my shoes, I tiptoe down the hall to the kitchen, careful to not wake up Niki and Gavin. Four-thirty in the morning is no joke and even though Niki has been greeting me every day at the butt-crack of dawn, desperate to get me out of my funk, I’m still more of a morning person than she is, and I loathe them. Which is why I head to the coffee pot first thing.
There’s a note taped to the top of a freshly brewed pot. She must have set the timer. Thank God.
Nina,
Mornings suck, but I hope yours is great!
Enjoy!
N~
Shaking my head, I open the cabinets, searching for a to-go mug. Opening the door to the right, I see another note taped to a black ceramic mug that says #coffeesaveslives in white.
Hands off, bitch!
Reaching for the one next to it, I stop myself, realizing she meant this whole section is off limits. The mugs surrounding it all have amusing phrases on them.
Coffee Whore, cause I gotta have it every day.
COFFEE BECAUSE ANGER MANAGEMENT IS TOO EXPENSIVE.
I wish “you dumbass” was an appropriate way to end a work email.
A fun thing to do in the morning is not talk to me.
Deciding the shelf below is the safer bet, I grab a normal-looking, stainless steel cup and fill it, letting it cool while I take a seat and put my shoes on one at a time, because I’m ordinary Nina. Securing my hair, I grab my coffee and head for the door, grabbing Niki’s keys on the way out.
As I get in and start the car, it dawns on me: I’m happy today. I’m excited to head to a job that I chose and wasn’t chosen for me. I woke up for me, not because he needed me to find his keys because it was my fault they weren’t where they were supposed to be. Today is the start of finding myself again.
Putting the car in reverse, I turn on the lights and begin to back out when I notice a bicycle leaning against the deepfreeze. It’s the cutest thing I have ever seen and totally not Niki. It looks like it’s out of the fifties, but with a face lift.
I pull back into the garage and get out of the car, an idea popping into my head. I take the keys inside and hurry back out to give the bike a once over. A rusted turquoise body, but sturdy enough to haul me around. Wheels, firm. A basket to hold my coffee and bag.
I’m doing this.
Walking it out of the garage, I climb on and test out the pedals in the driveway.
All good.
As I make one more circle around, I mentally calculate if I can make it before the coffee shop opens. I woke up thirty minutes early and I’m pretty sure the shop is only a few miles up the road. The longer I waste my time pedaling around the driveway, the later I will get to the shop. So, I go for it.
Nothing but me, my bike and the early morning streetlights. I can’t help but think back to the night I left.
“What are you going to do, Nina?” Brandon is in my face again. So close I can feel the spit as he screams at the top of his lungs. “You going to leave?” He pushes me down on the couch, causing me to land on the laptop Niki bought me for school. I don’t have to look to see if it broke. I could feel it.
He must have known too, by the look on my face.
“What’s wrong?” He rolls me over with such force I fall to the floor. Seeing my laptop triggers another accusation. “This!” Brandon picks it up, shaking it in the air, the pressure of his grip cracking the case. “Is this how you applied for the job?” He throws it across the room, the impact causing the laptop to shatter and the drywall to crack.
“Brandon, I just thought—” I try to stand up, pushing myself up onto my knees.
“That’s the problem, now, isn’t it?” His foot connects to my chest, knocking the air from me. “You were trying to think, when I do the thinking for us!” he shouts, pacing. “I’m the provider! Me!”
“Brandon, I’m sorry, I just wanted to help,” I plead.
I knew I shouldn’t have said anything…my words are the ammunition he needed to lock and load.
Reaching down, he grabs the neck of my shirt.
Bang! Shots fired.
His fist slams into my face and I fall back.
“You did this. You wanted to start a war?” He falls on top of me, pinning my hands above my head with one hand as the other caresses the cheek now battered and bruised.
Leaning down, his lips rest on top of mine, his words just a whisper. “Nina, I love you.” He lifts his head, searching my face for forgiveness.
Closing my eyes, I hide the tears threatening to escape. He’s right. I did do this. I fell in love with a man who wasn’t capable of loving me back.
He lowers himself to his forearms, both hands cradling my face. “Look at me, Nina. I want to see your beautiful face.”
My beautiful, battered face.
I do as I’m told. Surrender.
“I told you I would take care of you. That I would find a way out of this mess.”
“I know,” I respond, waving a white flag.
“Then trust me.”
“I will,” I lie.
That night, I watched him shower and change. Going out once again to “entertain” potential clients on his own dime. Taking them to strip clubs and running a tab on his personal credit card. He thought if he just landed the right client he would make partner at the marketing firm he works for. In the meantime, he ran us into debt and blamed me for it all.
That night, I packed everything I could fit into two small bags and took the money I made from a few small jobs I’d done for the elderly neighbor next door. Brandon thought I was being kind and I was, but she was also paying me each month. With that and the change I collected around the house, I had enough to pay for a cab to take me to Niki’s.
That night, I powered down my phone, stuffed it in my bag and headed down the road.
Vanishing.
Today, I want to be seen.
Nina
“So...” Jen glances over at me while wiping down the counter. “What do you think?”
“The morni
ng was rough, but I think I did pretty well for my first day.” I lean against the counter, trying to take the weight off my feet.
“Girl, you slayed it today.” She spins around and throws the rag in the sink, but misses. She picks it up and smiles. “But you know what could use some improvement?”
I look at her questioningly, and she points down to my shoes. “Your matching game is off.”
“Wh-what?” I glance down. “Oh my God! How did I not notice?”
“Navy, black, same difference, right? Plus, I would say your vision is impaired that early.” She chuckles.
“At least they are both Converse.”
“Word.” Jen holds out her fist for a quick bump.
I would have never suspected Jen to be a fist bumper, but Jen is everything I thought she wasn’t. Crazy, awkward, but cool as hell.
“Do you think you can handle it if I go on break?” She asks as she puts a slice of double chocolate loaf in the toaster, her decision apparently already made.
“Um, yeah?”
“Ding! Ding! Ding! Right answer.” The timer goes off. “Plus, you can take yours after I get back.” She grabs her loaf, heading to the breakroom.
Since there aren’t any customers, I make sure everything is cleaned and begin to restock the supplies.
“Here!” Niki slams a box down on the counter.
I whirl around, startled. “What crawled up your butt?” I inch closer to the counter, curious as to what she has, but cautious as to what has her so irritated.
“I wake up today thinking, ‘I wonder how Nina’s day is going?’ Only for Gavin to come in and tell me my car was still in the garage.” She opens the box, removing a cell phone. “This, it’s a phone.” She reaches into her purse and pulls out a piece of paper. “And this, it’s your number.”
“Okay?”
“You are now the proud owner.” She holds it out to me. “Now, take it.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Don’t make me hop over this counter, like I’m a star in the next Hollywood action blockbuster.” Her hand-shakes the phone, demanding for me to take it.
“Niki, I don’t need a phone. I’m doing just fine without one.” I cross my arms, standing strong.