by Hart, Cary
I chomp my gum really fast, getting the juices overflowing in my mouth, washing away the morning breath. “Can I get a hug?” I continue to chew.
“Of course. Remember, new day. This is one,” he says as he sits us up, my body now wrapped around his. Parts of me covered, yet exposed.
“Now, will you kiss me?” I push the gum to the back of my mouth, waiting for him to follow through with my request.
“You want me to kiss you?” He continues the hug, contemplating.
“I mean, I do, but if you don’t want to, I don’t want to force you.” I begin to let my imagination run wild. Did I misread this?
“Don’t,” he interrupts. He slams his mouth against mine, urgently at first, then soft, like I know him to be. Slow and seductive.
My body heats, as his hardens beneath me. Wrapping my arms under his, I snake them up his back, holding his head to me. My body responds and I begin to rock back and forth, the friction too much to handle.
“Nina,” he breathes. “This—”
“More.” I can’t help it. It’s been so long and this, what we are doing, isn’t out of guilt. I’m not forced or expected. I want to do it.
He fights it at first; hands on my hips, he gently pushes me away.
I run my hands through his hair. I feel Kyle everywhere but where I want him the most. I know what I’m doing could lead to something else, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for it, but right now I’m selfish. I need this.
“Please.” I pull back, sucking his lip into mine, before we lock gazes. “I want this. Anything more?” I shake my head. “But this, I need it. Please.”
Without giving it a second thought, his lips are back on mine. Hands on hips, he pulls me forward causing me to gasp. Tongues lashing, teeth grazing. I have never felt something like this. With him, it feels so good.
Lifting his hips he finds where I want him. Rotating, rubbing. I can feel him getting harder and it turns me on to know that I’m doing this to him. Me.
The way his body is reacting to mine has me on edge. Leaning forward, knees on the couch, I grind down, finding my sweetest spot.
“Kyle…” I breathe his name.
Back, forth.
“I-I feel so good.”
Harder, faster.
“I’m...oh God.” I throw my head back and twist and rotate my hips with each pulsating release inside of me.
“Nina…” He brings me back down, kissing my neck. Licking, sucking.
Crap!
I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t think about the aftermath.
“I’m sorry.” I slump forward, hanging my head in shame.
“Don’t.” Placing a finger under my chin, he lifts my head so we’re eye to eye. “That was one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. Don’t discredit it by being embarrassed.” He brushes his lips against mine.
“What about you?” I worry my bottom lip.
“Shower, cold one.”
“I could…” I try to come up with something. Maybe an offer, I’m unsure.
“No.” He picks me up and sets me beside him, the bulge painfully obvious through his shorts. “This was about you. I gave you what you needed and in return it was equally as satisfying for me.”
“There is no way,” I raise an eyebrow, pointing to the obvious, “that satisfied you.”
“You have no idea.” He leans over, kissing me on the nose. “Breakfast?”
“I’m starving.”
He just doesn’t realize how hungry I am.
Him.
This moment.
It released something in me that I didn’t know was there. A need to be fed something more. What exactly? I’m not sure, but it’s more than I was capable of before.
Kyle
Out of everything I could have fixed her, she chooses cereal.
“Are you sure you don’t want some protein to go with that?” I feel a little bad for fixing myself eggs and bacon while she downs the leftover milk from a bowl of Cookie Crisp.
“Well, maybe some bacon.” She sets the bowl down and begins to scan the room. “Did you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
“Shhh!” She holds her hand out. “That beep, do you hear it?”
“I think your…” I hear a series of chimes. “Yep! That’s a phone going off.”
“What time is it?” she asks frantically.
“Don’t worry, it’s only nine and it’s Sunday. You’re off.” I turn off the burner and remove the eggs.
“Niki!” She takes off for the couch, skidding to a stop. “I forgot to tell her I wasn’t coming home.”
“Oh shit!” I’m right beside her looking under cushions.
“Here!” She holds up her phone. “It was under the blanket.”
Unlocking her phone she begins to scan the texts. Her face drains of color.
“Ummmm…Kyle…” She turns to face me. “I think it was your phone.”
“What? Why?”
My phone is pinging with text after text. Turning in circles, I try to see where it’s coming from.
“Under the couch, try there.” She looks at her phone again. “This isn’t good.”
Bending down, I look back at her. “It’s going to be fine. You are twenty-three.” I reach under the sofa, finding my phone. “What could she possibly do?” I swipe it alive. “Holy shit!”
“Right?” she confirms. “What did she say?”
Niki: You’re DEAD!
Followed with a Scarface GIF Say hello to my little friend.
Niki: BYE-BYE BALLS!
Niki: First the right.
Niki: Then the left.
Niki: No hope of having kids.
Niki: You could adopt, but hello DEAD!
Followed with a middle finger GIF. Then a voice clip.
Nina’s eyes are about to pop out of her head. “Is that…”
Niki: Guess what tool I’m using.
Niki: Oh? Too busy fucking my sister, eh?
Niki: It’s a grinder. Just in case you were wondering.
She sends another GIF of a machete.
Niki: To sharpen this knife.
Niki: To cut off your twig and berries!
“What’s she sayin’?” Nina is over my shoulder. “Oh. My. God.”
“Nina, it’s your sister, she’s worried about you.” I reach over, pulling her under my arm. “She doesn’t mean it.”
Holding her phone in front of me, she shows me one text.
Niki: Kyle is D.E.A.D.
“Just call her and let her know you are okay.”
“Kyle?”
“Yeah?”
“I need a hug.”
“You got it.” I pull her in tight. “She’s just looking out for you, but to be on the safe side, we better not let this happen again. Cause my balls, I kinda like them.”
“How about I just leave a voice message?” She nods her head eagerly.
“I’ll clean up. You confess to our sins.” I smile.
She blushes.
“Maybe not all of them.” She twists out of my arms and heads to the door. “I better take this outside.”
“Tell her I’ll have you home within the hour.” I shout after her.
Before tucking my phone back in to my shorts, I scan the messages again. “Damn, Niki.” I reach down, grabbing my balls and whispering, “I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
The ride home is a little quiet. Even though Nina said everything was okay I can tell something is worrying her.
“Are you okay?” I reach over, giving her knee a little squeeze.
“Yeah.” She pats my hand slowly, obviously not sure if she wants it there or not.
“What’s going on?” I lay my hand, palm up on the center console.
“What exactly happened with Cindy?” She keeps looking forward, but reaches over and grabs onto my hand.
Giving her a little squeeze, I let her know it’s going to be okay.
“I was married,” I confess. Ther
e is no other way around this than to come clean.
“To Cindy?” She turns to face me, our hands still connected.
“Oh no! But I drowned out the past by spending time with her.”
Saying the words out loud make me feel like the biggest dick. Even though we agreed on our arrangement, she made it into something it wasn’t.
“You used her for sex?” She tilts her head, waiting for my confession.
“At first, yes, but then just to feel normal again. I took her on a few dates. We watched movies—”
“Did you cook for her?” she interrupts.
We’re a block away from Niki’s so I pull over and twist to face her.
“I don’t know what your sister told you, but last night…” I close my eyes, remembering everything. “It was a first for me.” I open them back up to see Nina watching my mouth, waiting for the words that could devastate her. I refuse to be that man, the one who breaks her heart. I want to be the one who heals it. Reaching over, I caress her cheek with my free hand, and she leans into my touch. “Being with you is different, and not in the way you think either.”
“Then how? You’ve known me less than a week, how do you know?”
“I’m not sure what is going to come of this, but what I do know is I want to spend as much time with you as possible.”
“I do too.” Her voice is barely a whisper.
“Then don’t doubt this.”
“Kyle, it’s not you I doubt, it’s me.” She turns her head, gazing out the window.
“Well, then we are in luck.” I give her hand a little squeeze. “Because I believe in you.”
“Kyle…” She swings her head around, tears forming.
“Let’s get you home.” I throw it into drive and ease it back onto the road. “Before your sister has my balls.”
That gets her to giggle. “Yeah, she’s waiting.”
After a few moments, we pull up to an irate Niki, wearing a white apron and a welding mask and sharpening a butcher knife.
“Ummm. I’m going to go.”
“Don’t worry, she’s all bark and no bite.” She leans over, giving me the gentlest of kisses before she sits back in her seat.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Still scared of losing my balls, I mentally count the seconds it would take to run around the truck and open the door.
You can do it.
I give myself a pep talk, fling open the door, leaving it ajar for an easy getaway, and run around, letting Nina out.
“She’s looking at us.” She takes hold of my hand and jumps down.
“Don’t look.” I turn her around.
“Thank you for the wonderful date. It was nice.” Nina wraps her arms around my middle for the biggest of bear hugs from such a petite person.
Looking over her shoulder I see Niki, standing there, watching, helmet up over her head. A look of understanding crosses her face as she turns and walks away.
Nina
“Niki! If you want to do this, let’s do this.”
I come barreling through the door, ready to take whatever she has to give me.
“I was wrong.” She peeks her head up over the couch.
“Wh-what?”
“That?” She points from me to outside. “He adores you.” She comes over and stands directly in front of me. “The way he touched you, the look…I was wrong.”
I begin to shake with laughter. “You were basically dangling his balls in front of him for keeping me overnight and now?”
“Nina, don’t be a dick. I said I was wrong.” She eyes me as she passes to the kitchen. Opening her cabinet, she runs her finger along the mugs until she finds the one she wants: #coffeesaveslives. Holding it up, she points to it then dares me to say something.
“Oh, is that a silent threat?” I throw my head back defiantly.
“Is that what you think it is? It’s just a mug, Nina.” She fills it, leaving a little coffee in the pot. “Kids, don’t try this at home.” She holds the pot to her lips and downs the rest. Not quite a full cup, but more than a sip.
“You’re something else.” I pull out a barstool, taking a seat at the island to watch her occupy herself with everything but me.
“Come on, Nik, talk to me.”
“What’s there to say that hasn’t already been said?” She stands across from me.
“Niki!” I slap the table, startling myself. “You went bat-shit crazy this morning. I need to know where that was coming from.”
“Fine.” She begins to pace. “I have been racking my brain with how I let you down.” She stops, staring at me. “Because I have. The past few years, I have been so wrapped up in my own life that I didn’t notice I knew nothing about yours. If I would have—”
“No!”
“If I would have asked more questions, demanded to see you...” She comes to stand beside me. “Nina, last summer, when you broke your foot. Did he hurt you?”
Clasping my hands over my head, I fight off the demons, the ones knocking on the door to memory lane.
“I can’t go there.” I drop my hands to my side and now I’m the one wearing out the floor. I can’t let myself remember.
“I knew it. He fucking put his hands on you.”
“Not exactly. It’s not as simple as it seems.” I try to give her peace of mind.
“Nina, if I would have visited, I could have stopped it.” She places a hand on my back and in this moment, I don’t want my sister. I don’t want her comfort and especially not her pity.
“I didn’t even know. Don’t you get it? If I couldn’t stop it, what makes you think you could have?” I jerk away. “I loved that man. For every single bad quality he had something good. I wanted to believe he could change.” I throw myself down in the chair, looking over at her. I sigh. “How could you save me from something I didn’t know I needed saving from?” I’m up again, not sure what to do or where to go. “I had to find the strength within. Only I could say when enough was enough.”
“I promised Mom I would watch after you.” A tear streaks down her cheek. “I failed.”
“Niki, you didn’t. Don’t you see?” I spin her around. “Look at where we are. You have a wonderful relationship, engaged to your best friend and I’m here, safe, with you.”
“Gavin is pretty damn awesome.” Her smile is bright, one reserved for only him.
“Yes, he is.” I hold out my arms for her. “Hug me.”
“Hmm.”
“Just trust me.” I wave her in.
“This is kinda nice.” She taps on my back.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
“How long do we hold on?” she continues to count.
Five.
“Is there a pop-up timer or something?”
Six.
Seven.
“You totally take the fun out of hugging.” I break free.
“Nina, I’m sorry about this morning. I just wanted to protect you. I thought—”
“I know and I thank you, but in all reality, I should have messaged you. Adult or not, I’m staying at your house. I shouldn’t have made you worry.”
“Yeah! That’s what I meant!” She flips me the bird, smirking. “Screw you for making me worry.” She heads down the hall hollering back, “Love you!”
“You have to!” I shout back.
Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my phone to let Kyle know everything is okay.
Me: Everything is fine. You get to keep your balls.
He must have been waiting because as soon as I fire off the text, the bubbles are there teasing me with a message being typed.
Kyle: Thank goodness. I was just saying my goodbyes.
“Hey Nina, I have a surprise for you.” Niki comes in the room dangling a key in front of me.
Holding my finger up, I press the microphone to send a voice text.
Me: Got to go. Call you later.
“What’s this?” I pull the key off her finger.<
br />
“It’s the key to your new house.” She bounces with excitement.
“What do you mean, my new house?”
“Well, it just so happens that the renter moved out of my old place.”
“Wait, you mean…” I try to contain myself, just in case it’s not what I think it is.
“Gavin and I talked about it and thought you should move in. Have your own place.”
“Oh! My! God!” I begin to jump up and down, screaming. Niki joins in.
We are so wrapped up in dancing and jumping around that we don’t see Gavin come in. Reaching for Niki’s hand he starts jumping with us, squealing like a schoolgirl.
“What are we screaming for?” Gavin shouts.
Stopping suddenly, I look over at Niki. “Is he always like this?”
“Yeah.” She shrugs her shoulders. “He’s a girl.”
“Take that back.” He lifts Niki up, throwing her over his shoulder. “Me Tarzan, you Jane.”
“Oh Lord!” She pounds his back. “Put me down, I get it. You are man hear you roar. Yada, yada, yada.”
“Tarzan take woman to bed.” Gavin turns to wink at me. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you! You guys rock.” I turn and swing my new key from my index finger.
What would one do with their new-found freedom? SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF — or living room in this instance. So, I dig out my phone to call Kyle, hoping he can celebrate with me.
“Miss?”
I spin to see a man in uniform at the front door, which Gavin apparently left open.
“Yes?”
“Are you Miss Niki Sanders?”
“What’s going on out here?” Gavin comes from around the corner, Niki right behind him.
“You left the door open. This guy is asking for Niki.” I look at her. “What did you do?”
“Niiiiiiki?”
“For Pete’s sake, Gavin. I paid the damn parking tickets.” She rolls her eyes. “You miss one ticket and all hell breaks loose.”
“No tickets. I just need to give her this.” The man waves a manila envelope around.
Gavin holds out his hand to take it.
“Actually, I need to give this to Miss Sanders.”
“Good Lord, you would think I was being served or something.” Niki pushes past us, grabbing the envelope.
“Miss Sanders, consider yourself served.” The deputy walks off.