by Hart, Cary
The pressure is too much to bear.
He’s fading.
I’m fading.
Numb.
Darkness.
Kyle
“Kyle! Wake up, man.” I hear a voice and feel hands. “Come on. Wake up.” Lee’s voice is clearer now.
Blinking a few times, I open my eyes and see part of the crew standing over me. “You guys standing around on the job again?” I try to joke but know something is off. My head is killing me.
“We called 9-1-1. They are on their way.” Lee tries to fill in the blanks.
911?
The beam.
A crash.
Drew!
“Where’s Drew?” I sit up a little too fast. “Fuck!” My hands instantly fly to my head.
“We think you just got grazed, but hit your head pretty hard coming down, which caused you to black out.” Lee continues to give me the facts. All but the one I want.
“Okay, whatever.” I wave him off. “How’s Drew? He was on the way out. Right by the beam.”
“Drew’s down, man.” Lee looks across the room. “I’m not going to lie. It’s pretty bad.”
Trying to stand up, I lean on Lee for balance. The sound of sirens gets closer.
“He’s right over here!” I hear someone yell.
My eyes follow the voice and I see Drew lying lifeless. “Drew!” I shout. Pushing Lee away I take off across the room, ignoring the pounding in my brain, forcing my feet to move faster.
“Sir excuse me. We need to get through.” The paramedics come barreling in with a gurney.
I step to the left, letting them pass as I stand helpless, watching my friend get checked out.
“He’s stable,” one calls out as the others go to get him on the gurney. “Call it in! Let’s go. Lift on three.”
“Let’s move.” Another directs, and I watch as Drew is taken out on a stretcher, not moving.
“Is he going to be okay?” I holler after them as they load him up.
“Probably just a severe concussion, but we don’t know the severity of the fall. He had his hardhat on, so that’s a plus.” He hops in and I’m about to climb in behind him.
“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to follow behind.” He starts to shut the door.
“His wife is in labor!” I shout.
“Excuse me?” He swings it back open.
“Aubrey Williams. She’s at the hospital now. She’s in labor. He was trying to get to her,” I say hurriedly.
“We will get him there.” He pulls the door shut.
“Lee! I’m heading to the hospital. You know what to do man. Do it.” I jump in the truck and pull out my phone to call Niki.
I see a text from Nina.
Brandon is here. Call 911.
“Son of a bitch!” I throw it in gear and head her way. Dialing 911 as I go, shouting Nina’s address to dispatch, unable to say much more than to send help. I quickly send Niki a voice message to get to Nina’s ASAP.
I can’t think straight. My head is pounding. I need to get to my girl. My grip tightens. My stomach clenches.
Hold on, baby.
Drawing in a ragged breath I push play to listen to the voice message. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Her screams. Her pleas as they fall upon deaf ears. I wasn’t there when she needed me.
I throw the phone on the dash and grip the wheel with both hands. My jaw pops as I clench my teeth.
I make it to her house in record time and I’m the first one there. No vehicles, and darkness envelopes the house. I’m not sure what I’m running in to, but I don’t think. I sprint across the lawn and slam open the door.
Brandon is on top of Nina, beating the life right out of her.
“Motherfucker!” I roar, grabbing him by the neck and throwing him off.
“Little too late.” He nods towards her, laughing at me.
Her beaten body lies still.
Lifeless.
“Nooooooooo!” I scream and run to her. I try to find a pulse but I’m afraid to touch her. “Baby, please. Nina! Answer me!” I cry out as I squeeze her bloody hand in mine.
He’s a dead man. One minute I’m holding Nina’s hand and the next thing I know, I’m on top of him. I land the first punch, which knocks him out, but that’s not enough.
Life for a life.
One punch. Blood.
Two.
Three. Teeth break.
Four.
Five. Bones shatter.
Blood is everywhere. My hands are numb, like my mind. My head is swimming, I’m starting to see double.
“Jonestown PD. Hands up!”
I don’t stop. I can’t stop. He has to pay.
“Hands up, now!”
“She’s alive.” I hear someone else call out.
“What?” I turn around and all guns are pointed on me. Raising my hands. “She’s alive?”
“No thanks to you.” An officer comes up to me, locking my hands behind my back. He pushes me to the floor and begins to pat me down.
She’s alive.
She’s alive.
She’s alive.
I struggle, I have to get to her.
“Wait! Wait!” I begin to fight back. “I didn’t hurt her. You’ve got it all wrong. I need to go to the hospital. Please just let me go!”
“Sir, you need to calm down. We have to assess the scene.” Another officer comes up. helping me stand.
“We need to get a statement first.”
“I can’t. Fuck that! I have to go with her.” I watch as they load her up and begin to wheel her out.
“No! Please! She’s my life,” I beg, the cuffs cutting into my wrists as I try to move my arms. “I can’t let anything happen to her!” I yell as they walk me outside. I see them bring another gurney toward the house. That asshole. “Please!”
Nothing.
The ambulance doors close with my whole world in the back.
“I need to go with her! Why won’t anyone listen to me?” My voice is raw from yelling.
“I’m sorry. You can’t go anywhere till we get a statement.” The officer says as he puts me in the back of a cruiser.
My head hangs in defeat.
Then go.
Save her.
Help her.
Fight, Nina. Fight!
Kyle
After I pleaded for the police to listen to the voice message, they let me give a quick statement and head to the hospital.
I drive up to the emergency room door and jump out, throwing the keys to the security guard. “Tow it. Keep it. I don’t care.”
“Sir! You can’t park here!” he hollers after me.
Running through the doors, I head to the help desk.
“Where’s Nina?” They don’t answer. “Dammit!” I slam my fist on the counter. “Nina Sanders was brought in here over an hour ago. Where is she?”
“You are?” a woman asks as she spins around in her chair.
“Her boyfriend.” I pant trying to catch my breath.
“I’m sorry. We can’t give you that information.” She turns back around and continues to talk to one of the nurses, like nothing is wrong. Like my whole world isn’t crumbling around me.
“Listen.” I interrupt, raising my voice again. “I have to find her!”
She just stares at me. No emotions. Her eyes never blink.
Please! To anyone who is listening. Please, let me find her.
“This woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with was beaten, nearly to death and I had to watch as her lifeless body lay there in front of me as they took her away. So, don’t tell me to calm down!” I rasp out. “I know she’s here, so either you start talking or I’ll go in every last room until I find her.”
A sympathetic look, crosses her face.
“So please.” I hold my hands together, pleading. “Tell me where I can find her.”
“Well…” She types something on her keyboard. “I can’t tell you which room she is in, but what I can tell you is she is in intensive car
e.”
I slap the counter and point at her. “You are the best!” I run through the waiting room, bypassing the elevators and taking the stairs two at a time.
Nina! I’m coming, baby!
Throwing the doors open, I run down the hall and to the nurse’s station. “Nina Sanders. I know she is up here. Please, which room?”
“Sir, calm down.” An older nurse comes over. “We have patients who are trying to recover. Patients who need round the clock care in their fight to live. So, please do us a favor and calm down.”
“I’m sorry. I need to see Nina Sanders.” I hand my head, knowing my girl is one of those fighting for her life.
“Okay, good. Now who are you to the patient?” Her kind voice asks me.
“Kyle Lewis.” I lift my head, hopeful. Please. Please. I hold my breath.
“Oh! Her sister said you would be here. Room 512. She’s sleeping.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much.” I back away, releasing a relieved sigh, and take off, trying not to run. My heart pounds harder, the closer I get.
506. Thump.
508. Thump.
510. Thump.
512. Thump. Thump.
Her door is open and I can see her from the hall. The glow of the machines cast an eerie light on her face.
Wires.
Monitors.
Beeping.
“Kyle?” Niki gets up from a chair next to the bed to come talk to me, with Gavin close behind as she rushes to me. “She has a severe concussion and loss of oxygen to the brain.” She’s distraught and tears fill her eyes. “She’s going to make it, but she hasn’t woken up yet and they don’t know why.” She turns to Gavin, falling into his arms.
“I’m sorry Niki, I’m so sorry.” I try to say, but my voice shakes as I look into the face of the sister of the girl I love, but didn’t protect. “I didn’t get there sooner. I tried. I- “
“Shhh. Kyle, don’t.” She leans in to hug me, before releasing and looking up at me. “It’s not your fault! You made it, you got help! Don’t you see, if it wasn’t for you… it could have been so much worse. So, don’t.”
“Okay. Can I?” I nod in the
“Sure. We are going to go check in on Drew and Aubrey.”
“Shit. I almost forgot.”
“Drew has a concussion and severe laceration on his right arm.” She turns to Gavin and smiles. “Hardhat saved his life.” She looks back to me and nods. “Once he woke up and he was checked out, they agreed to set up a room for him and Aubrey.”
Safety first.
“Did she have the baby?”
“Not yet, but soon.” She walks back up to Nina’s bed and weaves her hand in between the wires to hold her sister’s hand. “Nina, Kyle’s here, sweetie. I’m going to check on Aubrey.” She bends to give her battered face a tender kiss.
“Tell Drew…” I begin to tear up. Drew has been there through it all. Losing him would have been like losing a brother.
“I know. I get it.” Niki heads for the door, Gavin right behind, wrapping an arm around her waist to guide her in the right direction. They shut the door as they leave.
Scooting the chair forward, I lean over the bed and lay my hand out, palm up. Unsure if she can hear me. Unsure of what to say. So, I start with the truth.
Hand hug.
“Baby, I was so worried. I thought…” I begin to sob at the thought of losing her, the one person who makes me feel like I matter. “I thought I lost you.”
I take a minute to compose myself. “He won’t hurt you ever again. I made sure of that,” I confess. “I hurt him baby. I hurt him like he hurt you. I made him pay. I didn’t kill him, but Nina, I wanted to. I wanted him to die for what he did to you. For putting his hands on you. Not just tonight, but for every single time he hurt you. With his hands. With his words. For making you doubt how incredible you are, how talented and gorgeous and brave and smart. But it’s over now. You’ll never doubt those things again.”
I reach my hand up to brush the hair out of her eyes. “Baby, I know I’m supposed to let you sleep, but I’m a selfish bastard. I need to know if you are really okay. I need to know you’re here with me. If you please wake up, I promise, I’ll remind you of those things every day.”
Reaching down, I take her bandaged hand and place it in mine. I lower my head to the bed. I close my eyes and do something I haven’t done since my dad died. I pray. “Nina, don’t leave me. Don’t ever leave me.” I feather light kisses up her arm. “I can’t live without you. I wouldn’t even know where to begin a life without you. My heart, it’s wide open now and you are the reason why.”
Squeeze.
Nina
Lights. Monitors. Blood.
Lights. They’re so bright. Too bright to open my eyes. I just need to sleep, to fall into the night.
Monitors. I can hear them, the sound of my life beeping throughout the room. The reminder that this wasn’t for nothing. This was for me. For him, my future.
Blood. I can feel it on my skin, taste it in my mouth. I feel so dirty; I want to wash away the past and move on to my future.
I’ve never felt more alone than I do right now. Trapped in the darkness that took me over. Brandon did this to me. He tried to take what was left and I wouldn’t give it to him.
I fought.
Even though I couldn’t see him. I felt him there. Saving me from the hands of the demon that tried to bring me down.
I reached for him. When I thought I was going to die, I reached for his hand. I knew if I had it, everything would be okay.
His kisses.
His touch.
His hand.
Hand hug.
My hand.
His hand.
Squeeze.
“Nina?” Kyle whispers as he gives me a squeeze back, causing me to wince. “Come back to me baby. Show me you are okay.”
I’m trying, Kyle.
Squeeze.
“I feel you. I know you’re there. Just open those beautiful emerald eyes of yours. Please, Nina, for me.”
“Kyle.” I speak his name before I can see him. Opening my eyes, I wince, it hurts too much.
“Oh shit!” I hear him get up and run around the bed to flip a switch. “They’re out now. It’s safe.”
That’s my Kyle. Always knowing just what I need.
Blinking.
Squeeze.
“That’s right, Nina. Open them.” I hear him beg.
“Chivalry isn’t dead,” I croak out as my eyes flutter open.
“What was that?” He leans to put his ear by my mouth.
“Chivalry isn’t dead. The lights.” I try to pick up my hand to point but it’s too much, my arm feels like it has lead weights attached to it.
“Nope.” He begins to laugh. “It’s not.”
“Baby, what happened tonight.” His body begins to shake. “I wasn’t there to prevent it, but I tried. I tried so hard to stop it.”
“You got my text.” I barely get the words out, my throat raw and my mouth like cotton.
“Yes. I did. You fought baby. You fought him off and we won.” He shakes his head. “If you wouldn’t have...if there was no text...Nina, you were very lucky.”
“Bran—”
“He’s in here somewhere, but don’t worry. The sheriff’s office has deputies watching over him.” He reassures me. “That asshole is getting nowhere near you, ever again.”
“What’s going to happen?” I ask the question I’m not sure I want the answer to.
“Well, if he ever wakes up, he will be prosecuted for attempted murder.”
“What do you mean? Wakes up?” I struggle to remember what happened. I fought back, but he was on top of me, I used everything I had left to fight. But then it all went dark.
“I beat him bad. I used every ounce of anger I had and pounded him until they pulled me off. I was going to kill him. I didn’t care.” He turns his face, unable to look at me. Not from the bruises, but from his guilt. Fear that I’ll be a
fraid of him. I see it in his eyes. “I’ve got blood on my hands and I would have let it settle in my soul if that is what it would have taken to keep you safe.”
I slowly bring my hand to his face, ignoring the pain, just to let this man know how much he isn’t like him. “Don’t! You are not him. You are a so much more.” I lay a kiss on his hand despite the pressure from puckering up being so painful. “These hands healed me, not hurt me.
“I thought I wanted to disappear, escape who I had become, but all I wanted, what I needed, was to be found…by you.” I squeeze Kyle’s hand. “Don’t you get that? You saved me from the shell of the person I had become and filled me with the hope I thought was lost. Piecing me back together with who you are and who you know I can be. A love like this is real…I know that now...because of you.”
“I love you, Nina,” he says, laying his hand in my lap, palm open.
Hand hug.
“I love you too.” I take his hand in mine.
Squeeze.
6 months later
Nina
When do the words “I love you” mean everything? When they are said by someone who means them. Someone whose words and touch have healed me. Taught me what love truly feels like.
Trust.
No more blurring of the lines. No wrongs. Only rights. And who I’ve become is who I was always meant to be. A sister. A friend. A girlfriend. Smart. Brave. Creative. Someone I left buried deep inside, because I was forced to. But not anymore. I’m all that and more, because of the love and support of those around me. Because I refuse to be less ever again.
Pride.
I escaped and nearly lost, but I fought and I won. My reward…
Love.
I feel the bright lights on my face and I look down at the man in front of me, on one knee, waiting for my answer.
“Yes.” I nod.
He smiles up at me.
“Yes! A million times yes!” I cry.
Jumping to his feet, in a move I’m sure I’ll see later on the dance floor, Kyle picks me up and swings me around. My arms around his neck. His around my waist.
“You can’t get rid of me now.” He slowly comes to a stop and lowers me to the dance floor. “This ring.” He reaches up and pulls my hand down, twirling my ring between his fingers. He locks our hands. “It says we are forever.”