by Karen Ball
Annie cocked her head. Those guys? Was she reading him right? If so, they had a problem, because he sounded like he was talking about a bunch of idiot frat brothers rather than the apostles. “Well, of course we do. They’re among the most influential men in history. They brought truth to nations and died for what they believed in.”
At the sight of a large fallen log just beyond them, Annie signaled to Kodi. “This way!”
Jed watched the shepherd respond, sniffing all around the log, her tail wagging her delight at what she was doing.
“She seems to enjoy this.”
Annie smiled. “She wouldn’t do it if she didn’t.” She glanced at him. “About the apostles, you sound like you don’t think much of them.”
“And you sound like you actually respect them.”
Anxiety gnawed at Annie’s gut. Jed sounded so … annoyed. “Sure, don’t you?”
“Annie, come on. Look what they did! They walked with Jesus, a guy who was supposed to be the Son of the living God.”
Supposed to be?
Oh, no. No, no, no …
She couldn’t believe she hadn’t asked Jed about this. Annie swallowed the growing panic inside her.
Jesus, please don’t tell me You’ve let me fall for a man who doesn’t believe in You!
“Like you said, they talked with Him, were close to Him. They had to be His closest friends. And what do those crumbs do when things get hard? They run. Like petrified rabbits.” He kicked a rock, sending it flying. “I’d never do that. Not to someone I was supposed to believe in. Care about.”
Such depth of emotion in his tone, his suddenly stiff demeanor. Anger. Pain. Betrayal. It seeped through Jed’s words—and his mood—like a black stain on cool white cotton.
And it lifted Annie’s spirits to the skies.
If he was this upset, this angry at what the apostles did to Jesus, then he must believe in Him. Of course, she’d ask, just to be sure. But later. Now wasn’t the time for that discussion.
Kodi ranged to the left and disappeared in the trees. Annie watched her as she and Jed walked along, making their way through the silence as carefully as they did the forest.
She gave herself a little time by scanning the terrain, looking for spots where she should send Kodi deeper, areas where someone could hide—such as in the middle of bushes, which would hold the scent in.
She paused, checking the drainage they were crossing against the map, then looked at Jed. “You know, I’ve heard that a lot. People saying they’d never do what the apostles did. But we do, Jed. All the time.”
Denial thinned his mouth. “Not like they did.”
“Exactly like they did. Don’t you see? We’re with Him every moment of every day, and yet when something we think is too hard comes our way, what do we do? Pitch a fit. Turn and walk away. Doubt Him.”
He considered her words for a moment, but she could tell he didn’t like them. “I’m sorry, Annie. I just don’t see it.”
“Most people don’t. They look at the apostles and see weak men. But you know what I see?”
“What?”
“Myself.”
The minute the word slipped past her lips, something clicked, deep inside.
Myself … I see myself …
Annie’s mouth opened on a gasp. Of course! Oh, it was perfect!
“Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No, it’s okay” More than okay. It was wonderful! Ideas raced through her mind. Oh, for a pencil and paper to sketch them! Annie wanted to dance, to jump up and down and yell it out to the world.
I’ve got it! Oh, I’ve got it!
Kodi ran past them and out of sight to the right. Annie knew she should follow, but instead’, she spun toward Jed, propelled by the pure euphoria of excitement, and threw her arms around his neck. He stumbled backward, his arms enclosing her as she pressed a grateful kiss to his cheek.
“Whoa! What did I do to deserve this?”
Jed’s laughing question jarred her from the excitement of discovery, slamming her full bore into the mortification of self-consciousness.
Oh, good heavens! She’d just thrown herself at the man!
She pulled back, but he tightened his hold on her. “Come on, now. Tell me what I did.” Mischief twinkled in those brown eyes. “So I can be sure to do it again.”
Face on fire, Annie eased from the warm circle of his arms. “I’m sorry, Jed.”
His mouth quirked. “I’m not.”
What was wrong with her? And where was Kodi? Annie listened. No sound. Suddenly, the dog bolted from the trees, heading straight for Annie. “Good girl, Kode! Did you find someone?”
But instead of alerting, Kodi dog ran past them, still hard at work.
Which was more than Annie could say for herself.
“So … what wonderful thing did I do?”
Annie turned to Jed. “I just had an idea about a window I’ve been working on. Something I haven’t been able to figure out.” She overcame her chagrin enough to smile. “And I owe the solution to you.”
“Wow. Well, let me know any time I can help, ’cuz the payment is great.”
Thank heaven her laugh was only slightly self-conscious. They started walking again-.
Jed tugged his sleeve back and checked his watch.
“Getting tired?”
He lowered his arm. “Nah, I’m good.”
She restrained a smile. Typical guy. Wouldn’t admit it if he were about to drop. “It’s okay if you are, Jed. We’ve been out a couple hours now, and this isn’t exactly easy terrain to navigate.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not tired.”
The smile escaped. “I do this all the time. Kodi and I run every day.”
“So what you’re saying is that you’re in great shape and I’m a wimp?”
“A what?” She hooted. “The last thing I’d call you is a wimp.”
Interest sparked in his eyes. “Oh? Why is that?”
Annie pushed branches out of their path, holding them back out of the way. “With those shoulders and muscles—?” Oh, good heavens! She couldn’t believe she’d just said that. Sure, she’d thought it a number of times, but to say it right out loud like that? She must have lost her mind. She wasn’t sure if it made her seem more stupid or desperate.
Either way, Jed didn’t seem in the least bothered. In fact, utter delight painted his features. “Please, do go on.”
“Ohh, you!” She let the branches snap back into place—and smack into his chest.
“Aaahh! Medic!” He flopped back against a tree, milking the melodrama for all it was worth. “I’ve been wounded!”
“Not yet you haven’t. But keep it up and I’ll be more than happy to oblige.” Annie hesitated when Kodi came loping out of the trees. But again, no alert. Kodi just eyed Annie and then, reassured that her mistress was still close by, bounded away, nose to the ground.
“Man, this takes a lot of patience.”
Annie sniffed. “Almost as much patience as putting up with you.”
Jed slung a companionable arm around her shoulders. “Ah, c’mon. You know you think I’m wonderful.”
“Hmpf.”
He gave her a squeeze. “Right?”
She tugged away from him, but he wouldn’t let her go.
“Almost as wonderful as I think you are.” The teasing in his tone had vanished, replaced by a low warmth that made her tingle.
Her heart tripped. She couldn’t make herself look at him, so she just stared at the ground. “You … you think I’m wonderful?”
He slid a finger under her chin, coaxing her to meet his gaze. The affirmation she saw there sent her spirits soaring.
“Wonderful, and beautiful, and talented…”
With each word, his head lowered a fraction. Annie let her eyes drift shut—
Then jerked them open with a yelp when something nailed her from behind.
Kodi!
The dog was alerting, and Annie had
n’t even heard her coming back! She’d actually forgotten for a moment why she was out here! Shame flooded Annie as she scrambled to her feet. Censure wrapped itself around her heart, making her throat ache.
Kodi barked, poised to jump on Annie again, but this time she was braced. Kodi raised up, planted her huge paws on Annie’s midsection, then dropped back down on the ground. “Good girl, Kodi. Show me, girl! Show me!”
As the shepherd bounded into the trees, Annie ran after her, not even looking back to see if Jed was following. Because if she did, she’d lose it.
For the first time she could remember, she’d forgotten what she was doing. Forgotten she was out here for a reason—one that could mean life or death for someone. Her only saving grace was that this was a training exercise and not the real thing. That helped.
But not much.
Because she knew, deep inside, it wouldn’t have made a difference. With Jed looking at her like that, saying things like that, with his arm holding her close against him like that, Annie did something she always swore she’d never do. Something that absolutely terrified her.
She got lost.
Jed scrambled to his feet, racing to catch up with Annie as she crashed through the woods, calling encouragement to her dog.
“Good, Kodi! Show me!”
He could hardly believe the way she’d stood there, letting Kodi jump up on her. She’d told him that was how the dog … what had she called it? Oh yeah, alerted. But he’d figured it was a nice, gentle thing.
He’d figured wrong.
Kodi had been worked up big time, and when she jumped up on Annie, she planted those moose paws with some serious force. He’d half expected Annie to go flying. But she planted those little feet of hers and took the hit without flinching.
Amazing.
That was the word that kept hitting him whenever he was with Annie. Whenever he thought about her.
Just … amazing.
So it only made sense, didn’t it, that he’d gotten a bit caught up in the role? That he’d been mesmerized by those eyes of hers?
That he’d been about to kiss her?
Oh, man. He’d almost kissed her! Andy would have his head. And he’d be right.
Winning Annie’s trust was one thing. Kissing her? That had to be a serious breach of ethics or something. And even if it wasn’t, it was stupid, plain and simple.
He wasn’t out here looking for a relationship. Or even a date. All he wanted from Annie was for her to do his show. That’s it. So he needed to get with it. Get the woman’s signature on the dotted line, get the episode in the can, and get gone. Back to LA, where he didn’t have to think about anyone else.
Just him.
Alone.
The way it was supposed to be.
Excited barking split the air, and Jed saw Kodi licking Jayce’s face. The teen pushed the dog away and pulled the tennis ball from his jacket pocket. Annie and Jayce praised Kodi to the skies.
It was like a celebration, a party, and everyone got to take part. Everyone but him. He held back, watching. Picturing what this would look like through the camera. How he’d capture Annie’s expression and Kodi’s ecstasy, how he’d pan from handler to dog to victim …
Yeah, this is what he needed to do. Keep his distance. Stay focused on the goal. Far smarter than focusing on the woman. And safer. Focusing on the goal would get him what he wanted. The show. Another season. Success.
And focusing on Annie. That’d get him one thing and one thing only.
Lost.
TWENTY-THREE
“The wise man in the storm prays to God,
not for safety from danger, but deliverance from fear.”
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
“And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
JOEL 2:32, TNIV
OCTOBER 8
5:00 p.m.
“Finally!”
Brianna Heller and her husband, Mark, stepped back, surveying their handiwork. They’d gone camping a number of times before, but this new tent had almost beat them. Of course, they’d arrived later than planned, which didn’t help. Bree had started to think they’d still be trying to construct the tent by firelight. She’d come this close to suggesting they find a nearby Motel 6. Of course, near in this case meant sixty miles away.
Mark’s strong arm encircled her waist, pulling her close. “We make a good team, you know that?”
Bree rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. “Yes, we do.”
“You think you’ll be able to rest up here?”
She sighed. Mark worried about her so. She loved him for it but wished he didn’t feel the need. “Honey, I’m okay.”
“Okay, my Aunt Fanny”
She rubbed her cheek on his chest. “You haven’t got an Aunt Fanny.”
“You know what I mean.”
Yes, she did. She loved her job at the veterinary clinic, but one of their best technicians had moved away, so everyone was taking up the slack until they hired someone new. That meant extra work and extra hours. That alone would have been stressful. But lately it seemed that one animal after another was coming in with serious issues. Recently Bree had assisted Dr. Harding as he put down two dogs and a cat. All three had been coming to the clinic for as long as Bree had been there, so it was like saying good-bye to cherished friends.
The Saturday she assisted with the second dog—a darling, albeit ancient, little poodle mix named Fritz—Brianna ended up in tears. They started when Fritzie stopped breathing and continued all through her lunch with Annie.
“I’m sorry,” she kept saying as she blew her nose. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“You’re exhausted, that’s what.” Annie’s hazel eyes held an unusually serious glint. “Bree, you take what you do to heart. And it’s been tough lately. Too tough.” She handed Brianna a handful of paper napkins since Bree had run out of Kleenex. “I’ll tell you what you need to do. You need to go home, let Mark hold you, and then tell him you need a vacation. No ifs, ands, or buts. Get away for a while.” Annie reached for the dessert menu. “In the meantime, I’m buying you something sinfully rich and chocolaty to get those endorphins flowing.”
Bree hadn’t argued. She called work and told them she was going home sick. When she got there, Mark was waiting for her.
“Annie called, and I think she’s right. You need a break. I’ve already talked with Ernie and Jane Conrad about a camping trip together, and they said they’d love to go. That way they can watch Amberly for us once in a while to give us couple time, and we’ll take Ethan to give the two of them time together.”
Bree considered arguing for all of a second—she didn’t get paid vacation, and time away meant less income for the month, not to mention what they’d spend while vacationing—then she gave in. Mark was determined, and budging him when he was like this was next to impossible. Besides, Jane and Ernie were two of her favorite people. And their son was about Amberly’s age.
She smiled. “Amberly will be delighted that Ethan is coming. I think our little girl has a crush on him.”
Mark groaned. “Oh man, I thought I had years before I had to worry about Angel and boys.”
Brianna smiled at her husband’s nickname for their little girl. He’d called her that from the day she was born. “Don’t kid yourself. I knew she’d be a heartbreaker the second she opened those beautiful baby blues.”
“Yeah, Well so long as I’m always her best guy.”
Bree pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Hers … and mine.”
“Mommy—” a little hand tugged at her pant leg, pulling her back to the present—“tell me a bedtime story.”
Brianna reached down to gather her little girl in her arms. “You bet, Angel. There’s nothing I’d rather do.”
“You two go ahead.” Mark pulled his jacket on. “I’m going to go see the ranger about firewood before it’s too dark to see anything.”
Bree watched h
er husband walk down the path. Even after nearly ten years of marriage, the way Mark moved still made her heart jump.
“Mommy, why are you staring at Daddy?”
Bree took her daughter’s hands and swung her around in a circle. “Because I love him so much.”
Amberly squealed, and when Bree stopped spinning, her daughter flung those little arms around her legs, hugging her tight. “He loves you too, huh, Mommy?”
“Yes.” She kissed the top of her little girl’s head. “Yes, he does. And you know what that means?”
Amberly’s eyes widened. “What?”
“That I’m the luckiest woman in the world.”
He should go inside.
It was stupid to just keep sitting here. Going over and over the last few days in his mind. He wasn’t accomplishing anything. Except making himself feel terrible.
And crazy.
Jed shoved the car door open and stomped up the stairs to the hotel room. He needed a shower. A really hot one. To wash away this … this … ugly feeling slithering through him.
He dug the key card out of his pocket as he walked. What was this feeling?
“Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.”
Fine. Even Shakespeare was working against him now. But the quote fit, because that’s exactly what he felt.
Guilty.
But why? What did he have to feel guilty about? He was just doing his job.
Your job is to lead women on?
He ground his teeth. No. And he wasn’t. All he was doing was giving Annie time to see him for who he was.
A fake? A phony? A liar?
To. Earn. Her. Trust.
In a liar?
“Shut—”Jed jabbed the key card into the slot and shoved the door open—“up!”
Andy looked up from the camera lens he was cleaning, inquiry lifting his brows. “So? How goes the campaign?”
Jed ignored his friend.
“Not the way you’d expected, eh?”
And his friend’s stupid questions.
Andy leaned his elbows on the table. “What’s the problem, Jed? Things not as simple as you thought?”
Jed turned and started for the bathroom. He didn’t need this. Didn’t need his best friend prodding him, scraping already raw nerves. Not when his own traitorous mind and gut were flaying him already. He needed time alone to get his head straight.