Adan

by Catherine Lievens

  The road in front of them wasn’t an easy one, but Yanis hoped they could get to the end of it anyway.

  * * * *

  Yanis was back. Of course he was. Adan hadn’t really expected him to stay away, even though he had hoped.

  He was having problems controlling his bobcat since Soren had come in. He’d thought it would become easier when Soren left, but it hadn’t. The animal could feel their mate was close, so close they were touching, and the bobcat wanted more. It wanted Adan to give in, to expose his neck and let their mate claim him.

  Adan closed his eyes and focused on keeping the bobcat away. It almost didn’t feel like a part of Adan anymore. It had been more than a year since it had last come out, and it had been slowly disappearing in Adan’s mind. Adan hated that, but it was better than what would happen if he let it out. It felt like losing a limb, but now the bobcat was back, and Adan was having a hard time keeping it at bay. Yanis was too close, too warm, too gentle, and Adan’s bobcat wanted to curl in Yanis’ lap and sleep.

  “So, Jared said I’m supposed to talk to you. He also said I’d feel weird doing it, and he was right. I feel a bit stupid, but if it’ll help you...

  “Anyway, I guess I should talk about me, huh? I already told you my name is Yanis. I’m a white lion shifter, and I live with the Gillham pack. Or lived, I guess. I’m moving here to be with you, so... that way I’ll be able to be with you as much as I need to.”

  Adan wanted to groan. If Yanis really started spending a lot of time in his room, Adan didn’t think he’d be able to keep the thing inside him from feeding. Having Yanis so close for only five minutes was already taxing enough, and Adan’s bobcat wasn’t helping.

  “What else?” Yanis continued. “I’m from South Africa, and yeah, I’m white because of my lion. My mom’s black, although I don’t know about my father. I never knew him, and Mom doesn’t like talking about him. My mom was already pregnant when she arrived here in the States, so I was born here. I’ve never actually been to South Africa. Not that I don’t want to, but, you know. It’s not on my immediate to do list. What else? I’ve spent a few years in a lab.”

  Adan felt a tendril of whatever the fuck was inside him reach out to Yanis. He tried to keep it away, to hold it in, but Yanis was like a beacon, both for the thing and for his bobcat. When the bobcat started pushing again, Adan couldn’t stop it anymore. He had to decide what he wanted to let out, and he already knew his bobcat and how it would behave.

  He was about to finally shift after more than a year as a human when the door opened. His bobcat paused and Adan was able to pull the tendril in, as deep as he could. He still felt weird, like he wanted it to go out and he was hungry, but also relieved he’d managed to stop, the thing inside him from doing damage.

  “So? Have you talked to your mate?” Yanis asked to the man who came in, the same one who’d been there before.

  Adan was glad that man wasn’t his mate, because he thought he was a little weird, bordering on creepy. Darin obviously didn’t have any problems with him, since they were holding hands, though.

  “I did,” the man answered.

  “Are congratulations in order yet? I know you wanted to do things as soon as you could.”

  “If by things you mean mating, then yes, congratulations are in order. And I’m sure the entire house already knows too,” Darin answered.

  Adan tuned them out because it hurt. He was surprised at that and retreated into himself. Why did it hurt? Was it because the possibility to mate was right there in front of him but he knew he couldn’t take it? Darin looked so happy, so much that Adan could feel it. He’d wanted that too, once. Adan still wanted it, but he’d seen what happened to people when he let go. He couldn’t afford it. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Yanis, or anyone else.

  It took all of Adan’s control to keep both his bobcat and the nameless thing down until Darin and his mate left the room. Yanis stayed, though, and Adan could feel his control slip with every touch of Yanis’ hand on his. He could feel how sad Yanis was, how confused and hopeless, and he wanted to take that away.

  A tendril slipped past Adan’s control and reached out. It touched Yanis before Adan could stop it, and Adan saw Yanis’ eyes widen and his back straighten. He desperately tried to pull the tendril back, but it was already sinking inside Yanis.

  “Adan? Are you the one doing this, whatever it is?” Yanis asked.

  Adan pulled harder, but the tendril didn’t move away. He could feel Yanis’ emotions as if they were his own now, and he didn’t like most of them.

  “Adan? If this isn’t you, I think I should freak out. It feels like something is stroking me. From the inside. It’s not a very pleasant sensation.”

  Adan couldn’t resist anymore. He looked at Yanis, at his beautiful dark eyes that held worry and a hint of fear. Something loosened in Adan’s chest and he stopped resisting, just for a second. The tendril pulled, on what, Adan didn’t know, but he felt something give in Yanis. It came toward him and the tendril retreated just as whatever it was hit Adan.

  It felt like eating. The hunger Adan always felt and tried to ignore disappeared as soon as the thing that had come away from Yanis sank into Adan. He relaxed, feeling sated for the first time in months. His eyes closed on their own and he luxuriated in the sensation.

  “Adan?” Yanis said. “Whatever you did, I feel better. I don’t know what it was, but it’s like I’m not as scared as before. I also feel more relaxed. What did you do?”

  Adan had no idea how to answer that question. All he knew was that one day he’d woken up in the lab, in his cage, and he’d been different. He hadn’t known how, still didn’t, but he did remember what had happened when the guard had come close to him. Adan had been scared, had tried to hide toward the back of the cage as far away as possible, but the guard had still reached for him.

  Something had uncoiled in Adan and had jerked toward the guard. It hadn’t been a lone tendril then, but a dozen of them. Adan had been so confused, and when the guard had fallen, Adan had felt so full, like he’d just eaten a huge meal.

  The guard hadn’t been dead, but catatonic. As far as Adan knew, he’d never recovered, and after it happened a second time, Adan had decided to stop talking, stop interacting with people, even when the scientists had tried to find out more about what had happened.

  Adan had been scared he’d end up hurting everyone around him. He’d never let the thing inside him touch anyone else—until now.

  Yanis was fine. He looked fine.

  But could Adan really risk it? Was one time enough to free him from his self-imposed isolation? He wanted to say yes. He wanted to smile at Yanis, to tell him he’d never hurt him, but he couldn’t because he didn’t know if that was true.

  Was Yanis fine just because he was Adan’s mate? Or was it because only one tendril had touched him?

  “You know, I think I should tell Jared,” Yanis said. “He told me he’d felt something weird in the room before. He thought he was going crazy, but I felt it too, and now I feel different.” He leaned toward Adan and cupped one of Adan’s cheeks.

  Adan tensed in expectation—of what he didn’t know—but Yanis just kissed his cheek. “I think Jared was right,” Yanis whispered. “I don’t think you’re catatonic. I think there’s something more here, something we can’t see, and I intend on finding out what that is exactly.”

  * * * *

  Yanis hurried to find Jared, but he wasn’t in the infirmary anymore. Loud music came from what Yanis saw was the living room when he looked in, but he didn’t stay. He didn’t have the heart to party, not even for his best friend’s mating. He knew Ira would understand.

  Yanis had never been in the house, so he had no idea where he could find Jared, but since the living room was there, the kitchen probably wouldn’t be too far. It was almost dinnertime, so Jared might be close.

  He hoped no one would take offense if he snooped around as he made his way toward a
nother door. It opened on a dining room, and the party had made its way there, too, so Yanis closed the door and tried another one.

  He was relieved when he found the kitchen. It was quieter than the other rooms he’d peeked in, but by no means empty. Jared wasn’t there, but a blond guy, a guy with red tattoos, and a short guy with dark hair were cooking.

  The short guy turned when he heard Yanis come in. He cocked his head as he stared. “Nope, I don’t think I know you.”

  “I’m new.”

  The guy beamed. “Cool. It’s always fun to get new people.”

  “This house is already more a luxury hotel than a house,” the blond guy grumbled as he finished cutting onions and poured them in a pan.

  “You’re a grumpy guy, Del. Did you get it from your mother?”

  Del threw an onion at the shorter guy. “Shut up.”

  The guy with tattoos rolled his eyes, cleaned his hands on a dish towel, and held one out to Yanis. “I’m Chogan, the grumpy blond is Delevan, and the other guy is Nolan.”

  Yanis shook Chogan’s hand. “I’m Yanis.”

  Nolan handed the tomatoes he’d cut to Delevan and started cleaning the counter. “How did you end up here?” he asked Yanis.

  “I’m one of the guys who came to check if they were Adan’s mate.”

  “You’re from Gillham, then?”

  “Not exactly, but yes, I’ve been living there for the past year.”

  “How did things go with Adan?” Chogan asked in a quiet voice.

  Jared hadn’t told him to keep the fact that he was Adan’s mate to himself, so he said, “Good. Well, as good as they could. We are mates, but so far it hasn’t helped him.”

  Nolan grimaced. “I’m not sure whether I should congratulate you or not. I mean, you found your mate, but with Adan’s problems, I’m not sure there’s much to be happy about.”

  “I hope my presence will help him get better.”

  “We all do. Adan might have been in the state he’s in since he got here, but he’s part of the family, you know? We’ve all spent time sitting with him and talking to him.”

  “Did you need something?” Delevan asked, never looking away from the salad he was tossing.

  Yanis didn’t know why the man looked pissed off, but he didn’t care much. He’d just had one of the best and worst days of his life. He had too much to think about without having to worry about a pissed off guy he didn’t even know. “I was looking for Jared.”

  Chogan smiled. “He should be in our rooms. He always cleans up and changes before dinner. I can show you the way, if you want to.”

  “I wouldn’t want to disturb you.”

  Delevan snorted. “So polite. You’d never think Chogan lived in the woods until a few months ago.”

  “What crawled up your ass and died, Del?” Nolan asked.

  “Nothing, and that’s his problem,” Chogan answered for Delevan. Delevan and Nolan both looked at Chogan with slightly shocked expressions on their faces, then Delevan laughed.

  “Right. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be an ass.”

  “I think you need more of them. Asses, I mean,” Nolan told him.

  “Why don’t you try to get some while living with your father?”

  “Aww, come on, it’s not like you live in an apartment. I don’t think Dominic would notice if you got laid.”

  “He would notice if I didn’t come home at night, and you know there’s no way I can bring strangers here.”

  Chogan shook his head and smiled. “Come on, let’s leave those two to their bickering and find Jared. I’m sure whatever you have to tell him has to be important, since you left Adan’s side.”

  Yanis followed him outside and up the stairs. They both ignored the music and noise coming from the living room. “So Delevan is Dominic’s son?”

  “Yes.”

  “I didn’t know he had a son. Isn’t his mate a man?”

  “Yes, Ani is a man. Delevan was the result of a one night stand with a human woman, and not many people outside the pride know about him. Dominic thought it was best to keep it low key, with the council and everything.”

  They stopped in front of a door and Chogan pushed it open. “Jared? Are you decent? We have a guest.”

  Jared’s voice came from another room when he answered, “I’ll be right there.”

  Yanis took the time to look around. The living room they’d entered was cozy and lived in. There were medical publications on the coffee table, a glass next to them. A book was abandoned on the couch and the stereo was on. Yanis didn’t recognize the song, but he hadn’t expected Jared to listen to rock music.

  Jared came out, still drying his hair with a small towel. He frowned when he saw Yanis standing there. “Is there a problem? Is Adan okay?”

  “He’s fine, or at least I think so, but something weird happened.”

  Jared put his towel on the back of the couch and sat down, gesturing at Yanis to do the same. “Do I need to go see him?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  Chogan took the towel. “I’m going to shower so you two have time to talk.”

  Jared waited until Chogan was gone to ask, “What happened?”

  “You know you told me about the thing reaching out for you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I felt it too, only it actually touched me.”

  Jared leaned forward. “What happened?”

  “I was sitting with Adan, and I felt, like a tentacle or something, but lighter, and invisible. It touched my chest and kind of sank inside. It was weird, because I’d been upset and worried, but the tentacle did something, and I was calmer. It wasn’t pleasant, but it didn’t hurt. Adan also looked better after the tentacle retreated—more rested, if that makes sense.”

  “I don’t think anything makes sense in this situation.”

  Jared looked as frustrated as Yanis felt. “You said you don’t have his files, but I’m sure you did tests and stuff over the year since he arrived here.”

  Jared nodded. “We did, especially after what happened with Troy.”

  “Troy?”

  “His DNA was spliced with something. We didn’t know what it was and we later found out he’s now half harpy. The harpy side of him gave him an ovary and he got pregnant, so everyone who’s been in the labs wanted to get checked for ovaries after that. I also checked Adan.”

  “Wait. Ovaries? Men with ovaries? Please tell me Adan doesn’t have those.”

  Jared shook his head. “No. We checked just to be sure, but the only reason Troy has one is because of the harpy in him. There isn’t one bit of harpy in Adan.”

  Yanis leaned against the back of the couch, relief flooding him. Not that he wouldn’t have wanted Adan if he did have an ovary, but Yanis wasn’t sure he was ready to deal with something like that on top of the catatonic state and the weird tentacle thing. “Could there be something else?”

  Jared tapped his fingers on the arm of the couch. “We did as many tests as we could, but we could have missed something. We didn’t even know harpies were real until Troy and the labs happened. There could be something out there that feeds on emotions.”

  “Feeds on emotions?”

  “You said the tentacle touched you and you weren’t upset anymore, and that Adan looked better after that.”

  “I hadn’t thought about it that way.”

  “It’s not something I’ve ever seen, but it’s a start. I’m sure Isaiah will be able to find something. I’ll talk to him over dinner and see what he thinks about it. Maybe I can ask Jayden, too. He’s bound to know something.”

  “All right.”

  “And I think you should talk with Keenan. He’ll give you a room.”

  “I’d like to stay close to Adan. I’m sure I can sleep in his room.”

  Jared shook his head. “Adan can be moved. I’ve kept him in the infirmary because it was easier for me. But now that you’re here, he can move in with you. Mak
e sure to ask for a big enough room.”

  Yanis nodded. His head was spinning with things to do and questions, but he didn’t have nearly enough answers.

  Chapter Two

  Adan had expected Yanis to come today, but Yanis hadn’t. Adan had probably scared him with the tendril thing the day before. He wouldn’t blame Yanis for running as far and fast away as he could. Adan would, if the tendrils weren’t impossible for him to escape.

  He was disappointed. He tried to convince himself it was for the best, but it still hurt, and it shouldn’t have. He’d met Yanis only the day before, if he could even call that meeting him. Yanis had sniffed Adan’s neck, had held his hand, and Adan had tendril-raped him. Who would call that meeting someone?

  The door opened and Adan looked that way. He realized his mistake only when Jared looked at him with wide eyes. A tendril tried to make its way out, and Adan shut down. He looked at the landscape on his wall and tried to lose himself between the painted trees. He wasn’t able to, not completely, especially not when he could sense Jared walking toward him.

  “Hi, Adan. I see you’re more reactive today.”

  Dammit. Adan knew he should stay in his trance even when no one was around, but he’d been expecting Yanis, and he hadn’t been able to. He’d forgotten what was wrong with him for a few moments, and those were a few moments too much.

  Jared settled in the chair next to Adan’s bed and gestured toward the door. Adan resisted the urge to look that way, but the tendril was already sneaking toward Jared. Adan used all his will power to keep it close. He didn’t want a repeat of what had happened with Yanis the day before.

  He heard someone drag a chair from the infirmary and was surprised when the other person came into view. It was Emery. Adan vaguely knew him, mostly because the man had spent quite a bit of time in the infirmary when Troy had been pregnant. Emery had never talked to Adan, though, so Adan had no idea why he was there.