“Yet you’re the one feeling sated after it eats.”
“I know, it doesn’t make sense.”
“It does, kind of. The vampire part was introduced in you, and you already have a bobcat. I’m guessing that’s why the doctors who did this to you weren’t able to completely integrate it. Your bobcat probably resisted in some way.”
“Has this happened with other shifters?”
“Unfortunately, or fortunately, I haven’t met many shifters who went through DNA modification. The company mainly used humans, like Troy. They probably realized they were having problems with shifters.”
“Oh, great. That makes me feel so much better.”
Jared arched a brow. “I didn’t think you’d be sassy.”
“I’m not sassy, just pissed off.”
“I know that, but I think you’re doing remarkably well, considering.”
Adan snorted. “Well? I’ve been keeping myself in a catatonic state for more than year. How is that well?”
“You haven’t killed anyone, even though you don’t know how to use your new ability.”
Guilt swamped Adan. “There’s a reason why I’ve been staying in my mind.”
Jared took a few moments to answer. “Did you hurt someone?”
“Yeah, when I first woke up after they tinkered with me. I didn’t know I was different from how I’d been when they knocked me out, and when the guard passed next to my cage it didn’t end well. It happened a second time, and I...”
“What happened?”
“I sucked so many emotions out of both the men that they ended up in a catatonic state. That’s actually why I decided to do it. They didn’t feel anything once I was done with them. I thought maybe if I was able to do the same, whatever the fuck was inside me wouldn’t be able to reach out, because I’d have too much control on it. It didn’t exactly work, not once you brought Yanis into the picture anyway.”
“I shouldn’t have?”
Adan sighed. “I don’t know. It was easier, but I can’t say I’m not happy to have found my mate.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“I hope so.” Adan hesitated, but he needed something to make him feel more certain. “If I hurt someone, I want you to knock me out.”
Jared’s brows rose high on his forehead. “Knock you out?”
“Yes. I need to know people around me will be safe. Please.”
Jared stared for a few seconds, then he slowly nodded. “I’ll do it, but I don’t think it’ll come to that.”
“I hope so, Jared. But I can’t be sure.” There was nothing Adan felt less sure of.
* * * *
Yanis was happy to see Adan was awake and sitting in his bed when he came back from breakfast. He pushed the door open with his ass and slipped inside, his hands busy holding the tray he’d gotten ready for his mate.
He always felt an inkling of fear when he came to Adan’s room. Yanis was afraid one day he’d show up and Adan would have decided it was too hard to try and would have gone back to his catatonic state.
“Good morning.”
Adan turned and Yanis’ fear dissolved. “Good morning.” Adan’s voice was still hoarse and low, but Yanis liked it.
“I brought you breakfast.” Yanis put the tray on the nightstand and waited for Adan to settle to hand it to him.
Adan smiled at him and poked at his eggs. “I thought I’d managed to make you run away when I woke up alone.”
Yanis sat on the chair by the bed. “No, I’m just used to getting up early.”
“I noticed.”
Adan started eating, and Yanis felt mildly awkward. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to stare at Adan while he ate, because God knew he was the first one to find that uncomfortable, but he also couldn’t start asking questions, because Adan couldn’t answer with his mouth full.
“You said you’re from Africa.”
Startled, Yanis nodded. “Yes.”
“And that your mother had you here in the States.”
“Yes.”
“Can I ask where she is now?”
“Of course. She lives in California with her husband. They got married ten years ago, if I remember it right.”
“Is he a shifter?”
“Yes, a bear shifter.”
“Are they mates?”
Yanis slowly shook his head. “No. I think my father might have been my mother’s mate, but like I told you the other day, she never talks about him.”
Adan put his fork down. “I’m sorry you didn’t know him.”
Yanis shrugged. “I never really felt the need for a father. Mom worked hard, but she gave me all the love I needed.”
Adan ate a bit of bacon. “How old are you?”
“Fifty-eight.”
“How long were you in the lab?”
“Six months.”
Adan nodded, and since he was talking, Yanis decided he could ask questions too. “What about you?”
“I’m twenty-nine, was in the lab for close to two years.”
Yanis reached out and cupped Adan’s sheet-covered ankle. “I’m sorry.”
Adan shrugged. “It wasn’t that bad. Well, it was bad, but I’ve seen people who had it worse. They mostly poked at me and injected me with stuff until I woke up and attacked some of the guards with the new superpower I didn’t know I had. After the second guard, they put me in isolation. They didn’t touch me anymore.”
“How long were you in isolation?”
“I’m not sure, but I think about a year, maybe something more.”
That was a long time to spend alone. Yanis squeezed Adan’s ankle, and Adan smiled at him. “I’m fine. I’m actually grateful, because they didn’t hurt me, and I had time to learn how to keep the tendrils inside. It’s not like they could have taught me how to control them, but at least I could suppress them.”
“How are you feeling after yesterday?”
“I’m fine. I had a talk with Jared.” Adan drank a bit of the hot chocolate Yanis had prepared for him and moaned in pleasure.
Yanis’ cock twitched, but the last thing he needed right now was a stiffy. He shifted in the chair so he could hide his groin and hoped Adan hadn’t noticed. They hadn’t talked about mating yet, or even just about being together. Yanis didn’t know if Adan wanted that, wanted him, and he wasn’t about to ask now.
Adan put his mug down but kept his hands wrapped around it. “He helped me realize that what I can do isn’t necessarily bad. It’s not like I can shut it down anyway. You’ve seen how that works.”
“You didn’t hurt the girl. You helped her.”
“Yeah.”
“And you can always feed on me.”
“I know. I seemed to be able to stop with you, and that’s good. I wouldn’t try it with anyone else, though. I think it works so well with you because we’re mates.” Adan looked at Yanis. “And about that, when are we going to talk about it?”
“I was going to wait for you to get better, maybe out of the infirmary.”
Adan nodded slowly. “Well, one of the two conditions is met, so?”
“What do you want to know?”
“I know Jared’s objective in finding you was to make me get better, but it doesn’t mean you want to be with me.”
“I do. Do you?”
Adan hesitated, and Yanis felt his stomach turn to lead. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if Adan said no. He could go back to Gillham. Kameron would take him back without problems, but he’d already quit his job.
“I can’t say I don’t want you,” Adan said, and Yanis breathed better. “Because I do. I’m just not sure how it goes with everything else. I know you’re not afraid of me and of what I’ll have to do to you, but I am. I’m scared I’ll go too far, and the last thing I want is to suck you dry of emotions.”
“You’ll train with Emery.”
“Yeah, but he’s not an empathic vampire. And what if I lose c
ontrol?”
Yanis got up. He plucked Adan’s mug from his hands and put it on the tray, then put the tray back on the nightstand and sat next to Adan. Adan moved to the side to give him more space and Yanis hooked one arm around Adan’s shoulder to pull him closer. He kissed his mate’s hair.
“I know you won’t believe me, but I trust you.”
“But—”
“I do. You’re my mate. I know you’ll stop yourself from hurting me. That’s what I would do.”
“But you’re in control. You don’t have that... thing inside you.”
“When you fed from my emotions the other day, you were starved.”
“That part of me was, yes.”
“Yet you didn’t hurt me. You stopped before you could do any harm, and you hadn’t fed in—what, two years?”
“Yes.”
“So if you haven’t hurt me after that much time without feeding, how could you hurt me if you do it regularly?”
Adan relaxed against Yanis’ side. “It sounds logical when you say it aloud.”
“That’s because it is. We’ll make sure you never go hungry for so long again, and you can start by feeding only a little bit and often.”
“Yeah, okay. But promise me you’ll knock me out if I feed too much. Jared can give you a sedative that works on me, or you can just hit me, I guess.”
“I’d never hit you. I’ll talk to Jared, but I don’t think it’ll be necessary.”
“I hope not, but I’d rather be sure. Please.”
“Okay, sure. Don’t worry.”
They fell silent. Adan didn’t try to get away, and Yanis took that as a good sign. He wasn’t sure what else to say. They’d decided they wanted to try to be together, and that Adan’s vampire part didn’t bother Yanis, but that was all.
Adan tilted his head and looked up at Yanis. “Does that mean we’re together?”
“Yeah.”
“Does it mean we’re going to mate?”
“If you want to. I know what I want, and I know I won’t regret it,” Yanis said before Adan could try to talk him out of it. He’d had plenty of time to think, and he was sure of what he was doing. He didn’t see any good reasons to wait.
“I think I’d like that,” Adan said softly. “I’m tired of being alone.”
Yanis didn’t point out Adan had been alone because it was what he’d wanted. Instead, he kissed his mate’s hair again. “Then we’ll mate.”
* * * *
“I’m fine!” Adan shook away Jared’s hand. He knew Jared was worried about him, just like Yanis and Adrian, but it didn’t mean he liked the way they were coddling him.
Jared raised his hands and Adan slid down his bed on his own. “Sorry.”
Adan shrugged. “I can go to the bathroom on my own, and when will I be able to get out of here?”
“You’re a horrible patient, you know that? I liked you better when you were catatonic.”
Adan gaped at Jared. “The fuck?”
Jared arched a brow. “What, you’re allowed to be bitchy and I’m not?”
“You’re my doctor! You shouldn’t be bitchy.”
“Since you don’t want me to take care of you anymore, I guess I’m not your doctor.”
“You have terrible bedside manners.”
The door opened and Yanis paused when he saw Adan and Jared glaring at each other. “Something wrong?”
“No,” Jared answered. “But I’ll be happy when Emery can finally come by to teach Adan how to deal with his vampire part, because he’s insufferable”
“And you’re rude,” Adan answered.
“You two sound like kindergarten kids,” Yanis pointed out.
Adan sighed. He knew he wasn’t making his friends’ life easy, but he’d had enough of the infirmary, even if he had his own room. It was his fault, he couldn’t deny it, but he wanted to see the rest of the house, to go outside and breathe fresh air for the first time since he’d been captured and stuck in the lab.
He couldn’t, because he wanted to be sure he wouldn’t hurt anyone. That was why they hadn’t told anyone but Dominic, Nate, and Ani that Adan was better, that he was finally back with the living, and that he was a vamp.
“I know, sorry,” he told Jared.
Jared nodded. “Apology accepted, and I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. It was unprofessional.”
Adan grinned. “I don’t think I’d ever seen you being unprofessional before, and I spent a lot of time here.”
“I’m not, not usually, but your situation is different. I’ve been trying to get you to get better for a year, and now that you are, I want you to be happy, and you’re obviously not. I’m also a little too cautious about your health, but you can see why that’s normal. It doesn’t mean I can talk to you like that.”
Jared looked so sorry Adan couldn’t stop himself. He walked closer and hugged the man who had cared for him for so long. Jared stiffened, but Adan didn’t let go. “Thank you. I mean it.”
Jared patted Adan’s back. “It’s okay.”
“Aww, would you look at that. I’m sorry to interrupt, but I thought Adan was ready to get out of here.”
Adan and Jared both turned to look at Emery. He was leaning against the doorframe, and he wasn’t alone. Adan just had the time to groan when he was jumped by two colorful small men. “Oh my God! You’re okay! Kee, did you see this? He’s okay!”
Keenan answered from somewhere around Adan’s armpit. “I know! I can’t believe this! Following Emery was the best idea you ever had.”
Adan looked at Emery and Yanis and rolled his eyes. Being hugged like that felt good, but the feeling disappeared when he felt something uncurl in his chest. He pushed both men away and wanted to cry at their hurt expression. Still, that was better than hurting them.
Adan hurried toward his bed and climbed on, pushing himself as close to the wall as he could.
“Hey, why’d you push us away?” Keenan asked, the glee gone from his voice.
Adan concentrated on the tendrils that were pushing out from him. They weren’t hungry—he wasn’t hungry—so he didn’t think they’d hurt Keenan and Nysys, but he couldn’t be sure, and he wasn’t able to pull them back in.
“Come on, Adan. Let them out,” Emery said from right beside Adan.
Adan hadn’t even noticed him coming closer. He shook his head. “Don’t want to hurt anyone.”
“Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“Neither part of you is?”
“No.”
“Then let them out. We’ll be fine.”
“How can you know that?”
“I talked with one of the vampires I met. She explained what you should expect and how to react to it. Your power is just trying to expand after being confined for so long. It doesn’t just latch on someone and feed, Adan. You can use it to find out what people are feeling without feeding. If you don’t want to use it on Keenan and Nysys, try me, or Yanis.”
Emery looked so serious Adan believed him. He slowly let the control he was barely keeping on his new power go, and touched Emery with one of the tendrils that got free.
Emery was mildly worried, but also seemed sure of himself. He had so much faith in Adan it made Adan uncomfortable. They didn’t know each other, so how could Emery believe in him?
Emery beamed as if he could feel Adan was rustling through his feelings. “See? You’re not hurting me.”
“How do you know I’m touching you, or whatever it is I’m doing?”
“I can feel it. From what I’ve been told, it’s going to take you some work to be able to do this without the other person feeling you, but you should be able to feel strong emotions without even having to touch anyone. People feeling strong emotions tend to broadcast them. Now try Yanis.”
Adan nodded and looked at his mate. Yanis nodded, and Adan let the same tendril extend toward him. He didn’t want to let out more than on
e right now, because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to control them all. The fear of hurting someone was still there, and Adan didn’t think he’d be able to let go of it for a while.
Yanis was... proud. Adan’s eyes widened and he dug deeper without even thinking about it. Yanis was proud, but there was more. He liked Adan, and not in a platonic way. Adan could feel the hint of lust, and it stocked his own to the point he wished they were alone. He stared at his mate and Yanis smirked.
“Okay, so can someone tell us what’s happening? We walk in to find Adan talking and walking and stuff after a year when he didn’t even smile at our jokes, then he freaks out and pushes us away. We want to know!”
The tendril left Yanis and Adan let it get to Nysys. He was ready to yank it away, but it just poked at Nysys’ chest. Nysys’ eyes widened, and Adan could feel he was a bit scared, but most of all curious as fuck. He wanted to know.
Adan also felt a deep-seated insecurity, though, and he felt guilty for finding it. Nysys didn’t feel like he was good enough, and he desperately wanted to be.
“What are you doing?” he asked Adan as he touched his chest. He looked surprised when he couldn’t feel anything but himself, and Adan retreated.
“He’s trying to get used to being an empathic vampire,” Emery said.
Surprise colored Nysys’ emotions. “Vampire?”
“Empathic vampire. He doesn’t feed on blood, but on emotions.”
Nysys paled.
Adan retreated from him. “I’m sorry. I won’t tell anyone what I felt, don’t worry.”
Nysys shrugged. “It’s fine. Just, you know you’re going to become me and Keenan’s best friend, right?”
“I am?”
“Do me, do me!” Keenan exclaimed, stepping forward.
“That sounded like you were asking for something only Jonah should give you,” Nysys pointed out.
Keenan slapped Nysys’ chest. “You know what I meant, and so does everyone in this room.” He gestured to his chest. “Come on, Adan. You have my permission to explore my feelings.”
Adan looked at Emery and Emery nodded encouragingly. Adan prodded at Keenan with the tendril, surprised to realize he had more control over it than before. Keenan was like Adan thought a puppy would be—eager, happy, and loving. He was also curious, but there was no fear, no worry.
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