The stranger avoided eye contact, but his narrow lips formed a lopsided smile. As his hand went for the phone, so did hers.
Her heart tap-danced beneath her orange shirt, and with a moist palm, she held the receiver to her ear and waited for him to speak. He stared into his lap, reminding her of the time in a school play when she forgot her lines. His lips moved but nothing came out.
“H-hello, Carrie.” Finally, he spoke in a faltering voice.
“Hello…” She arched her brow and waited for him to introduce himself.
His Adam’s apple bobbed with a large swallow.
The drawn out silence wore on her nerves. She refused to wait another second for him to give his name and the reason for the visit. “Do I know you?”
His tongue swept across his lips.
“I-I’m your father.” He raised his eyes level with hers and smiled.
Surprise sucked the air from her lungs, leaving her light-headed. She took a moment to compose before responding, mentally counting to five and taking deep even breaths.
She shook her head. “You must be mistaken. My father left me a long time ago.”
The man removed a handkerchief from his breast pocket and dabbed his forehead. “There’s no mistake. Your name is Carrie Lang, isn’t it?”
“Yes, that’s my name.” She sat ramrod straight in her chair. The anxiety she’d felt only moments ago turned to fiery anger. “But I no longer have a father.” She fixed an icy stare on his round, clean-shaven face. Even if the man told the truth, she had little recollection of how her father looked, and time changed people. “If I did, surely he wouldn’t have the nerve to show up after he deserted me and my mother fifteen years ago.”
Again a hard swallow wobbled his neck. “I don’t expect you to understand and forgive me, but I am your father, Carrie.”
“Why are you here?” She narrowed her lips.
“I-I hesitated to come after all this time, but I received a phone call from some private investigator who says he’s working to free you from prison. You didn’t do what he said you did, did you?”
She closed her eyes and shivered with anger, then slowly lifted her lids and took a breath. “I don’t want to discuss my personal business with you. You lost the right to know anything about me when you left. Don’t you have a wife waiting for you at home? I’ve nothing to say.”
She started to hang up the phone.
“Wait!” He pressed his hand against the glass dividing them. “Give me a chance to help you. I know I have a lot to explain, but please.…”
Carrie put the receiver back to her ear and released a sigh. “Five minutes, and not a second longer.” Her insides quivered with rage, yet the downturn of his mouth and the sadness in his eyes called out to her sensitive side.
His gaze locked with hers. “Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you … wondered where you were, how you were. I tried for years to see you, but your mother wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t have the money to go to court and fight for shared custody, so to avoid putting you in the middle of a tug-of-war, I gave up.”
His words touched her, but she flashed back to all the nights she listened to her mother cry. His explanation didn’t make sense. “You broke Momma’s heart when you left,” Carrie said stoically.
Her father dabbed the sweat from his brow again. “We hadn’t gotten along for years. We didn’t have a marriage, we simply existed. I don’t blame your mother, but I’m not to blame either. Yes, the divorce was my idea because I met someone else, but your mother fell out of love with me a long time before that.”
“Then why didn’t she leave you?” Carrie pinned him with a stare.
“Partly because of you, but mainly because of money. She didn’t work, I did, and I think she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to get by. But, I needed more than just a marriage of convenience. I wanted to come home to a wife who was glad to see me…someone who wanted to share my life.” His eyes turned glassy, and he blinked. “I sent money every month … as much as I could, and when I sent you birthday cards or letters, they always came back to me unopened.”
Carrie’s mouth gaped, her shoulders sagged. “I never saw them.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. She wouldn’t even let me talk on the phone to you.”
His revelations bounced around in Carrie’s mind like rubber balls. She leaned back in the chair and rubbed her forehead. Momma’s actions didn’t support his allegations. Up until the day she died, Momma never indicated any interest in finding another husband; she didn’t even date. Of course, she never spoke kindly of her ex-husband either. What was the real story behind her parents’ breakup?
Carrie lowered her hand despite the stress building in her temples. “T-this is just too much to absorb right now. You waltz in here, a virtual stranger, and try to convince me that my mother lied to me? I need some time for all this to sink in—to sort through it all.”
He nodded. “I’ll go, but would you mind if I come back next week?”
Staring into her lap, Carrie thought a moment then lifted her chin. “I suppose that would be okay.”
One last questioned gnawed at her. She needed an answer. “D-do … do you have other children?”
His face broadened with a smile. “Yes, you have a half-sister and brother. I hope some day you get to meet them, and my wife. I think you’d like them.”
“Yeah, some day. Maybe in nine years and six months.” Jealousy took a big bite out of her heart. She slammed down the phone, stood and marched to the door leading back to the cells. As she passed through it, she fought the urge to glance back at the man claiming to be her father. She wouldn’t have known him if they’d passed on the street. And he had two children that’d kept him busy all these years. What did he expect of her now? Devotion? Trust? Was he an answer to her prayer for help?
Making her way back down the long corridor, tears clouded Carrie’s vision. She’d never felt more in need of a friend than at this very moment. She couldn’t share anything this important with Jet; the woman was heartless, most likely spawned by the devil.
“Damn this place for not having clocks,” she mumbled. The smells emanating from the kitchen area indicated lunch in progress. Her very first visitation had thrown every emotion Carrie possessed into a blender and set the speed on high. Maybe she could hold her feelings in check for a few more hours until rec time when she’d have a chance to talk to Susanna.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Carrie stood in front of her cell until she heard the unlocking click. She pried the heavy steel apart and slipped inside, then slid the doors back together. Her brain sorted through all the things her father had shared. Gripped by disbelief, anger, and hurt, she wasn’t sure what to think. Which parent had told her the truth?
“So, who came to see you?” Jet began her expected inquisition.
Stress thundered in Carrie’s temples. In no mood to discuss her private business, she whipped around and nailed her cellmate with an icy stare. “A Jehovah’s Witness.”
She scaled the iron frame, stretched out on her bunk and stared at the ceiling. Her father? Really? How did Seth’s P.I. friend get in touch with him when she hadn’t even known the state in which he lived?
“You’re kidding, right?” Jet intruded on her thoughts. “Really, who was it? Tell me.” Her indignant tone and assertion of her right to know hit a sore spot.
Carrie sat up and glared at her. “I don’t have to tell you anything, so leave me the hell alone.”
A visible line of tension ran along Jet’s jaw, but she backed away. “Okay, okay.”
“So how does it feel to be kept in the dark?” Carrie taunted.
Jet leapt up on the bottom rail and leaned in, a sneer on her face. “I might be in the dark for now, but I have connections. I’ll know pretty soon who your visitor was, so kill the sarcasm, bitch.”
What she said was true. All Jet had to do was ask Ogden, and the secret visitor’s identity would be revealed. People knowing that he
r father came to see her wasn’t even the point. Her refusal to talk had more to do with showing Jet she wasn’t always in control. If she wanted to know, at least she’d have to jump a hurdle. Carrie found pleasure in the idea.
She sagged back on her bunk and closed her eyes. Her long lost parent showing up had been a surprise she never expected—not even in her wildest dreams. Since he left, she’d pretended he was dead. Accepting his demise was easier than dealing with the belief that he didn’t love her. Could he have been right about her mother? Tears pooled in her eyes; the overflow drizzled down her face.
The smell of hamburger permeated the air.
“Lunch is here, Lang.” The food slot clanked open as Jet made the announcement.
Carrie rolled to her side and swiped at her bleary eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m not hungry. Give mine back.”
Nerves churned her stomach. Food was the last thing she wanted.
* * * * *
In the rec room, Carrie slid onto the bench across the metal table from Susanna. The meeting with her father left her brain scrambled, and she wanted to share her shock and awe with her friend. But where to begin?
“What’s wrong?” Susanna read people well. “You look like you’ve been crying.”
Carrie cleared her throat. “I had a surprise visitor today.”
Susanna’s eyes widened. “After all this time? I thought you said you didn’t have family or—”
“Seems the father who left me so long ago has resurfaced.”
“Really?” Susanna’s perfect brow lifted in an arch. “How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know.” Carrie shrugged. “According to him, everything I’ve believed all these years is a lie.”
“Like what?”
“Remember the old saying that claims every story has two sides? I just heard the other version.” She massaged the bridge of her nose. “Who do I believe?”
Susanna shook her head. “You’re asking the wrong person. Look where believing in someone got me.”
“I don’t expect you to tell me what to do, but I appreciate having someone to talk to. No way am I spilling my guts to Jet.”
Susanna scanned the room. “Speaking of, she’s eyeballing us right now. Aren’t you afraid to be seen talking to me?”
“Just because she makes threats and bullies everyone doesn’t give her the right to run my life. I’m through cowing down to her.”
“What about her secret plan?”
“Forget her schemes,” Carrie snapped. “If I don’t do her bidding then no one has to worry. Besides, I want to talk about my father. He’s coming back next week and I’m not sure I can handle seeing him again.” A lump formed in her throat, blocking the frustrated scream welling deeper.
“Did he tell you why he never got in touch with you?”
Carrie leaned her elbows on the table and rested her face in her palms. “He said he wanted to see me but my mother wouldn’t let him—that she was the one who fell out of love.”
“Do you believe him?”
Sitting straight and hugging herself, Carrie stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know what to believe.” She sighed. “He says he sent gifts and letters, and Mom returned them unopened. He finally gave up.”
Susanna pulled one foot up on the bench and hugged her knee. “Well, girlfriend, your mother is gone and can’t verify his story one way or the other, so you have to decide if you want to let your father into your life. Are you willing to do that?”
Carrie splayed her fingers through her hair. “He seems to want a relationship with me. He has a wife and two kids and mentioned he’d like me to meet them some day.” She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and thought for a moment. “But do I even want to? How am I going to feel around two kids that grew up having a father who was supposed to be mine?”
Susanna patted Carrie’s hand. “I wish I could answer that for you, but only you can decide.”
“Decide what?” Jet had approached the table without notice and stood behind Carrie.
“What to have for dinner,” Susanna said with a snide tone.
Stress danced on Carrie’s last nerve; she looked over her shoulder. “It’s personal. I was asking Susanna’s opinion about my visitor.
“Oh, the Jehovah’s Witness?” Jet cocked her head. “Are you planning to convert?”
“If you must know,” Carrie spat, “the visitor was my father. Are you happy now?”
“Why the big secret? So your daddy came to see you. Big whoop.”
Carrie’s agitation rushed out in a large breath. She swiveled around and faced her nemesis. “Attitude is just what I expected from you. Doesn’t it bother you that you have no friends?”
Jet’s mouth gaped, but fire lit her eyes. “I have friends, you little twit. And they do a whole lot more for me than your useless pals do for you. You’d better watch your smart mouth or else.” She spun on her heel and stomped away.
Susanna stared across the table with wide eyes. “Wow, where did all that courage come from? You realize you’ve pissed her off big time, don’t you?”
“I’m past caring what she thinks. Even if she stabs me in my sleep, it can’t be any worse than spending another nine years in this hellhole.”
She started to stand but Susanna grabbed her hand. “Calm down. Take a deep breath and tell me why you really went off on Jet. It wasn’t because of the comment she made about your father. What’s she got up her sleeve this time?”
Carrie rolled her eyes. “I honestly don’t know the whole scheme, but a grudge she has against you plays a big part.”
“I knew it!” Susanna clasped her hand to her chest. “But I haven’t done anything to her. In fact, I go out of my way to avoid her except in cases like a few minutes ago when she insinuated herself into the middle of our conversation.”
“Well, she definitely feels she has a score to settle with you.” Carrie stood, slumping her shoulders and shaking her head. “I can’t go into details with her watching us so closely.” She glanced across the room to the chair where Jet sat holding a book, then looked back to Susanna. “I’m done with rec today. I need to be alone for a while and digest everything that’s happened.” She rested her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for listening, and don’t worry. Eventually Jet has to tell me everything and I’ll clue you in then. I’m done being her little puppet.”
* * * * *
Seth finished his lunch and stepped into the men’s recreation yard, carrying his cell phone. He pushed number two to speed dial Ryan and waited for his friend to answer. The vast expanse of cement was deserted, and the only noise came from two birds twittering on the barbwire high atop the fence. Only ten minutes remained of his break and he really wanted to see if Ryan had progressed any since they discussed Marie Collins.
“Cullen Investigations.” Ryan’s voice sounded on the other end.
“It’s me, Seth. Have you found out anything more about the Collins’ woman?”
“Indeed, I have, my friend, and I think you might find it very interesting. Can we get together tonight at your house?”
Curiosity ballooned inside Seth. A quick glance at his wristwatch showed he had no time to hear the details now. His only choice was to wait. “I’ll be home by seven. Meet me there. And … I hope I’m going to like what I hear.”
“Oh, trust me, pal. You’re going to more than like it.”
* * * * *
Carrie climbed to her bunk and stretched out on her back. With her cellmate still in the rec hall, she appreciated the peaceful silence. So many thoughts raced through her mind—her father’s visit, Jet’s scheme, Seth. Every aspect of her life required a decision, and some, she wasn’t ready to make.
Jet could kiss her ass. Carrie wasn’t about to go against Susanna, no matter what the penalty. She hated leaving her old cellie hanging by telling her only part of Jet’s plan, but emotions and apprehension left her drained of energy. As for her father… part of her wish
ed he’d never showed up. Life was easier without one more complication. Still, the curious side of her wanted to see him again. What did he hope to accomplish by making the trip? How far had he come? She hadn’t even asked where he lived.
She curled on her side and sighed. If only she could tell Seth everything. Despite her growing feelings for him, their situations precluded trust—at least on her part. Even if she mustered up faith in their relationship, when and how could she find the time and place? Hopelessness curled in her stomach and weaved its way through her entire body.
“What happened to you?” Jet sauntered into the cell, grabbed her towel from the end of her bunk and wiped the sweat from her face. “One minute I looked up from my workout and you were all cozy with your buddy, and the next you were gone.”
Carrie rolled over on her back and slung her arm across her eyes. “I needed some quiet time to think.”
“About what?”
“None of your business, Jet. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I really don’t like you very much.”
“Is that so?” Jet’s voice held no emotion.
“Don’t act surprised. You haven’t given me much reason to care about you.” Carrie sat. “Oh, the burger was a nice touch, and yes, I’ve enjoyed having a pillow and working in the garden, but those things didn’t buy you my soul.”
“Actually,” Jet pulled her top over head, tossed it on the floor and crossed to the sink. “I don’t lose sleep over what you think of me.” She ran the water until it warmed then wet her washcloth and swiped at her underarms. “One thing I know, I’ve definitely helped you grow a backbone. You aren’t the same spineless little pussy you were.”
Carrie pondered Jet’s words. True, she had gained courage, but it had nothing to do with Jet and everything to do with survival. Arguing the point would only lead to a rhetoric exchange she didn’t wish to pursue. “Yeah, whatever. I’m going to sleep.”
First Degree Innocence Page 15