by Nikki Paris
I burst out laughing. “Oh, d-don’t even worry about it. Receptionists make bank, so I’ll pay for all the other dinners. And when I’m p-paying, we’ll g-go to extra classy places.”
“Like McDonald’s?” Connor grinned at me.
“You bet, baby.” I winked at him and took a sip of my wine.
Connor reached across the table and took my hand in his. “I want to date you, Dani. I want you to be my mine.”
I gave him a shy smile and ran my index finger gently along his palm. “I think that’s already happening, Connor.”
“I think so, too, but I want to hear you say it.”
“You want me to say I’m your g-g-girlfriend?” I smiled and bit my lip.
He nodded.
“B-because my ass looks incredible in this dress?”
Connor grinned. “That, and a few other reasons.”
I laughed, “Okay, jerk, I’m your g-g-girlfriend.”
He narrowed his warm brown eyes at me. “You keep stuttering on ‘girlfriend.’ Does that word make you nervous?”
I shook my head and looked down at my lap. I knew Connor didn’t care about my stutter, but lifelong shame and embarrassment took time and effort to erase. “Um, no. G words almost always make me s-stutter for s-some reason. My mouth doesn’t like G’s.”
“Gotcha. We’ll just call you ‘mine’ then. And we’ll keep the G’s out of your mouth.”
“That’ll leave more room for other things in my mouth.” I slowly licked my lips and gave Connor a seductive look.
“Fuck, Dani.” Connor tossed his napkin over his lap as the waiter approached.
We teased each other through the rest of dinner and then went for a walk through some Japanese gardens across the street. When we reached a large wisteria, I stopped and pulled Connor toward me.
“What?” He smiled at me and arched an eyebrow, not unlike all the times he’d snap that same word at me when we played our angry, flirty game. I guess he really did like me the whole time.
“I j-just wanted to k-kiss my boyfriend under this beautiful tree.” I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his.
Connor kissed me back softly and then tucked my hair behind my ears. “We’ll have to do this again in the spring when the wisteria is blooming. It’ll blow your mind.”
I gazed into his eyes and smiled. “It’s already blown.”
The after date sex at his place was rough and passionate. We couldn’t get our clothes off fast enough, and there were moments where I couldn’t tell where my body ended and his began. It was like we’d reached this new level of intimacy that sent our sexual pleasure off the fucking charts. And after he made me climax three times, I could have died happy in his arms.
Once we were too tired to fuck anymore, I snuggled up to his body, and he wrapped his arms around me. I ran my fingers down his chest, circling each of his three tattoos. There was a bird, a Japanese symbol, and a “V” with two intertwining serpents. “What are these for?” I asked.
Connor touched the Japanese symbol first. “This one was a stupid drunken night in college. Me and three of my roommates thought we were the shit, so we all got these. It’s supposed to mean ‘courage,’ but I wouldn’t be surprised if the tattoo artist fucked with us and it actually means ‘dumbass.’”
I burst out laughing. “Oh, Connor, it definitely means ‘dumbass.’”
He raised that single eyebrow at me. “You can read Japanese all the sudden?”
I laughed and kissed his tattoo. “Nope, but drunken tattoos automatically stand for ‘dumbass.’”
“What about drunken kitchen counter sex with your neighbor? Does that fall in the dumbass category?”
I bit my lip. “Only if you m-make it awkward as hell the next day!” We both laughed, and then I circled the “V” tattoo with my index finger. “What about this one?”
“That is the vet symbol. It represents healing and compassion. I got it when I opened my practice.” Connor grinned. “Cheesy as hell, right?”
I shook my head and kissed that tattoo, too. “Not if it means something to you.” I touched the last one. “And the bird?”
Connor sighed and laced his fingers through mine. “That’s for Callie.”
I nodded and rested my head on his chest. Of course he would have a tattoo for Callie, but he kept saying it wasn’t time to talk about her yet. Was it because he didn’t trust me enough to see that part of his past? Was it because his whole heart still belonged to her?
I dropped the subject and said, “I’ve always wanted a tattoo right here.” I pointed to my wrist.
Connor lifted my wrist to his lips and kissed it. “What would it be?”
“A quote f-from a French film director. Make visible, what without you, might perhaps never have been seen.”
“I like it. Why haven’t you gotten it yet?”
I shrugged. “I don’t feel like I’ve earned it yet. I want to g-get it after I really express myself a-and make something visible that w-wouldn’t exist without me.”
Connor shifted so he could look into my eyes. “You’ve already done it, Dani. You made me see another chance at happiness, and I didn’t believe that existed until I met you.”
My whole body tingled as he leaned down to kiss me. When he pulled away, I was smiling so big my face hurt. “Oh my g-god! That was the sweetest thing anyone h-has ever said!” I laughed and covered my face. “Am I-I blushing?”
Connor pulled my hands away and grinned at me. “So, I’m sweet now? I’m not a jerk?”
“You’re sweet like sugar, baby.” I grinned and pulled him down on top of me, kissing him and burying my hands in his hair. Fuck, his body felt incredible against mine. Was he ready for another round?
I felt his hard cock against my thigh. Hell yes.
26
Connor
Dani had been mine for two incredible weeks. I hadn’t smiled this much or felt this alive in years. Even Jessie gave me a big hug when I walked into work one morning. “I can’t wait to meet her!” she said with a knowing smile.
I grinned and said, “Soon, Jessie, soon.” I wanted everyone to meet Dani. And honestly, it didn’t make me feel guilty at all. It made me feel whole.
Amy and Devin already knew we were together. I’d shut down two of their dinner invitations because I wanted to keep Dani and her sexy ass all to myself every night, but it was time for us to get into the real world together.
Tonight was dinner at Amy’s. Saturday was dinner with Dani’s family.
When we pulled up to my sister’s house, Dani glanced over at me with a smile. “Did you know Amy kept telling me that you liked me after our awkward drunk sex?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not at all surprised.” Amy and her good intentions… “You didn’t believe her, though.”
Dani laughed out loud. “I didn’t, but I’m glad she was right.” She took my hand, and we walked up to the front door together.
At our knock, Amy yanked the door open with a squeal and pulled Dani in for a hug. “Yay! Yay! Yay!”
Marshall stood a few feet behind his mom and smiled shyly at Dani. Then his eyes fell to my hand that was clasped around Dani’s. They darted back up to meet mine with an accusing glare. “What’s up, buddy?” I said.
“N-n-nothing.” Marshall folded his arms and walked away to sit on the couch.
I released Dani’s hand and followed Marshall. “Dude, what’s wrong?” I sank next to him on the couch.
Marshall rolled his eyes and groaned. “Why do do do y-y-you g-get Dani? I l-loved her first, and and and y-you d-don’t even understand u-u-u-us!”
My nephew wanted a shot at my girlfriend. Holy shit. I forced myself not to laugh. This was clearly serious for Marshall. I took a deep breath and met his glare. “Can I be honest with you, man?”
Marshall nodded.
“I think it’s because I have a car. Girls like guys with cars.”
Marshall looked thoughtful for a moment. “F-fine. When I’m o-o-old e
nough to to to d-drive, I’m s-s-stealing her from you.”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. “Dude, you can’t steal my girlfriend. I like her too much. But you’ll find someone just as awesome as her when you grow up.”
Marshall rolled his big brown eyes at me. “No-no-no-one is as awesome as h-h-h-her.”
That was completely true. He got me there. I glanced up at Dani and caught her gaze across the room. She was good-naturedly listening to Amy complain about morning sickness.
Devin wandered into the living room and clapped me on the shoulder. “What’s up, man?” He grinned at me, then Dani, then back at me. Devin looked down at Marshall’s sour face and asked, “What’s wrong with you, kid?”
Marshall rolled his eyes. “Nothing, dad.” Then he stood to go upstairs, shooting me one more angry look.
Devin took Marshall’s spot on the couch. “What’d you do to my kid, Connor?”
I glanced over my shoulder at the stairs and then lowered my voice. “I stole his woman.”
Devin laughed and shook his head. “You asshole.”
I laughed and shoved Devin. “What’s for dinner?”
“Plain pasta. That’s all Amy can stomach these days.”
“Wow. Okay, you guys have a good night. We’re heading out.” I patted Devin on the shoulder and made to stand up.
“Fine. I’ll make some marinara for the rest of you. But Amy will kill me if I make garlic bread.” Devin sighed, then looked over at me with a grin. “You know Dani talked about you on her date with my brother, right?”
I grinned and rubbed my jaw. “Did she? What did she say?”
“Yep. Nothing crazy. She just asked how well he knew you. Then she’d just find little ways to mention you every few minutes. As soon as Cory told me that, I told him to dig in deep and try to get Dani to cave, just to see if he could piss you off.” Devin patted my shoulder and stood. “Well, I better get started on dinner.”
I laughed and shook my head. “You are unbelievable.”
After Devin finished cooking, and Amy coaxed Marshall back downstairs, we gathered around the kitchen table. Marshall took the seat next to Dani, so I had to sit across from her and watch him glare at me all through dinner.
Dani smiled over at Marshall. “You did so well in the play, bud! I’m so proud of you!” She reached over to brush the hair from his forehead.
Marshall beamed at Dani and said, “Th-th-thanks.”
“Will you do the next p-play, too?” Dani asked.
“Y-y-y-yeah! W-w-will you be be be there?”
Dani shook her head. “I c-can’t. I have my own acting s-stuff on Saturday mornings now.”
“Oh.” Marshall’s face fell, and then he shot me another glare across the table. I choked on my water to keep from laughing.
“But, I’ll still see you when Connor and I come to visit!” Dani smiled at Marshall, oblivious to the fact that he was in love with her and ready to fight me.
“O-o-okay.”
“You still want to do the next play, right bud?” Amy asked. “Grandma and Grandpa wanted to fly up and see your next show!”
Marshall shrugged. “No. I th-think I j-just like the s-singing p-part. Maybe I’ll I’ll b-be in a b-band.”
“Nice, dude. Girls love guys that can play guitar.” I grinned at my nephew.
Marshall ignored me and turned to Dani with a shy glance. “D-Dani, what’s your favorite c-car?”
I covered my face with both hands because I could not hold back the laugh this time. The kid had game. I had to hand it to him.
After dinner, Dani and I said goodnight and headed back to my car. She smiled over at me while I drove and rested her hand on my leg, just like Callie used to. I felt a tiny pang in my chest, thinking of Callie, but mostly, I was unbelievably happy tonight.
◆◆◆
My girl had never suffered from a lack of personality, but she came even more alive around her family.
The second her brother opened the front door at her parents’ house, Dani yelled, “Tanner! Mom said you took that little bitch back!” Dani smacked her brother’s arm.
Tanner rolled his eyes. “Don’t call my girlfriend a bitch.”
Dani scoffed. “I will if sh-she thinks she c-can dump you ever again. Next time,” Dani grabbed his arm and pulled him closer. “You need t-to dump her before she can dump you.”
Tanner smacked her hand away and glanced over at me. “Hey, man. I’m Tanner, and you must be crazy for dating my sister.”
I laughed. “Connor. And yeah, I’m really into drama.” I smirked at Dani, and she rolled her eyes.
Dani’s parents came into the entryway next and welcomed me into their home. “We are so happy to have you here!” Dani’s mom gushed. “Danica has told us so much about you!”
Dani shrugged when I smiled at her. “What? I-I like to talk.”
I smiled at Leann and said, “Did she tell you about the rude note she left on my car?”
Leann frowned at her daughter, and Dani laughed out loud. “Connor, I o-only tell them the p-parts that make me look g-good! You know that. I have an image to uphold.”
Her dad shook my hand next, and we all made our way into the kitchen for dinner.
All through dinner, I watched Dani and fell even more in love with her. I loved the way Dani and her younger brother teased the shit out of each other. It reminded me of Amy and me. And I loved the way Dani’s mom screamed and jumped up and down when Dani told them about a reoccurring role she’d landed on a sitcom.
“Mama! Chill!” Dani threw her head back and laughed. “I’m the waitress in the m-main character’s favorite diner! I h-have like three varying lines: ‘What can I bring you?’, ‘Here you go!’, and ‘How are you today?’ And it doesn’t pay enough for me to quit my day job.”
Leann waved it away. “Oh, shush, honey. You’re acting again! That’s all that matters! You’re doing what you love, and you have an incredible man by your side.” Leann winked at me.
Then her dad took her hand and smiled at her. “Are you happy, sweetheart?”
Dani gave me a shy little smile and then said, “Y-yeah, dad, I’m happy.”
It felt damn good to hear her say that. It felt damn good to be happy right along with her.
Dani and I were happy, but we’d done all the easy parts of love. We both still had a lot to sift through before we could ride off into the sunset.
I still needed to talk to her about Callie. She kept asking, and I believed she asked because she genuinely cared and wanted to understand me better. But that didn’t make it easier. I didn’t talk much about Callie to anyone anymore, let alone the person I’d just started dating. I didn’t know how. How could I be honest and honor Callie’s memory while also convincing Dani that I was ready for what we were starting?
I looked over at Dani while we sat in her parents’ dining room. She was laughing and dramatically describing one of the worst auditions she’d been on in the last few weeks. I adored this woman. I loved her. She’d be able to handle it all, right? She was the one that would make it possible for me to truly move forward, wasn’t she?
27
Dani
Connor and I had been officially dating for one month. It was time to talk about Callie. We were deliriously happy together, but we couldn’t keep pretending like this would never become an issue for us. We couldn’t avoid it forever.
We both sat rigidly on Connor’s couch, at my insistence, with a small white box between us.
Was his heart racing as fast as mine? Was I ready for everything he was about to tell and show me? Was this talk going to make or break us?
Connor took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. “We, um, we met during my last year of school. She had a sick parakeet, and I saved it.” He smiled a little at the memory. “We were married a year and a half later, and it was one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made. We had six months together before the accident.”
Connor paused and let out a sha
ky breath. “She died on a Saturday in June. We’d gotten in a big stupid argument about the house remodel. Cal wanted these fancy expensive tiles for the master bathroom. We’d have to order them from Italy and pay over a thousand dollars just to ship them. I told her it was stupid. She told me this was her dream house, and she wanted it how she wanted it. I’m a stubborn asshole, and I made her cry.”
Connor wiped a tear from his eye. I reached out to rest my hand on his knee gently. He patted my hand and then continued. “Uh, finally, she gave in and stormed out of the house to go to the hardware store and pick cheaper tiles.”
Connor ran his hands through his hair. “Cal had this obsession with texting. The woman would not put her phone down, even when she was driving. That day, she kept sending me photos of every ‘ugly’ tile she found, followed by insults to my character. Uh, the last text I sent my wife said, ‘You’re ridiculous.’ Because right after I sent that, she read it, while driving, and rammed straight into the back of semi-truck that had slammed on its breaks.”
Tears streamed down his cheeks now, and my throat ached from the lump that was forming. Connor finished his story with a shaking voice. “The crash didn’t even kill her right away. She lived for two more hours at the hospital, so I sat there with my wife, all bloody, broken, and unconscious, and watched her die. I told her over and over again how sorry I was and how much I loved her, but the last words she heard from me were, ‘You’re ridiculous.’”
After a long, silent pause, Connor whispered, “I should have let her get the damn expensive tiles.”
“Oh, Connor.” Tears blurred my vision, and I fought to get the next words out. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Connor wiped away the last of his tears and gave me a half-smile. “Logically, I know that. Uh, emotionally, though, it’s been an uphill battle convincing myself of that fact.”
Connor reached over and opened the white box that sat between us. He pulled out a stack of photos first and swallowed. “This is her.” His voice was quiet as he handed me the picture on top.