by Nikki Paris
He laughed and stood to take my hand. “Will you go for a walk with me in the gardens again?”
I wrinkled my nose and teased him. “Ugh. I’m super busy tonight. Can you find someone else to g-go for a walk with you?”
The waitress handed Connor his credit card. He slowly slipped it back into his wallet and then met my smiling gaze with a raised eyebrow. “Dani, I think you’re going to want to come on this walk with me. The wisteria is blooming.”
“Well, fuck!” I stood up, laughing. “Why didn’t you say so? The wisteria, Connor!”
Connor laughed and shook his head. “God, you’re a brat. Come on.”
I gripped his hand with my heart racing. “But you love me, right?”
“I do, baby.” Connor leaned down to give me a quick, soft kiss. Then we walked in a comfortable silence to the Japanese gardens. Okay, it wasn’t comfortable. I was freaking out inside.
Connor stopped right in front of the wisteria. He was right. It was fucking beautiful when it was in bloom. The gorgeous blossoms were wrapped around a trellis, creating a magical purple tunnel.
When I turned back around to smile at Connor, Tanner and my parents were standing behind him. “Wha—“ I narrowed my eyes at them. Then Gia walked up next with Lizzy on her leash and the biggest damn smile I’d ever seen. When a hugely pregnant Amy waddled over, followed by Devin and Marshall, my hands started shaking.
“Dani,” Connor took both of my hands in his. “I wanted to do this with everyone that loves you here. I wanted you to have one perfect moment, completely surrounded by love, so that there’s no doubt in your mind that you are enough, just the way you are.”
A tiny sob escaped my throat, and then Connor sank to one knee. “I know I already told you this, but you make visible a million things that wouldn’t exist without you, not just for me and all these people behind me, but for everyone you meet. You need to get the damn tattoo, baby. You’re incredible, and you brought me back to life with all your drama and sass and sweetness. I love you so much, and I want to marry you.”
Connor slipped a little black box from his jacket pocket and opened it. He gazed right into my eyes and smiled. “Will you marry me, Dani?”
“I-I-I-I…” I covered my mouth with both hands. I wasn’t going to be able to speak, so I just nodded.
Connor smiled and slid the ring onto my finger. He stood and wrapped me up in his arms while everyone behind us cheered and whistled. He pressed his lips to mine, and even though my heart felt like it was going to explode from this perfect proposal, I couldn’t escape the little sliver of doubt and fear. I broke the kiss and whispered in his ear, “A-a-are you sure, baby? I-is this r-r-really what you w-want? Are you ready to do all of this again?”
Connor kissed my nose. “I’m sure, Dani. I’m so ready to do this with you.”
The tears were streaming down my face now. I kissed him again. “I love you so much!”
“I love you, too.”
Tanner cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “Get a room!”
My mom smacked the back of his head. He was just bitter because his stupid girlfriend dumped him again.
Amy waddled over and threw her arms around Connor and me, shoving her pregnant belly between us and crying her eyes out. “Oh my god! I love you guys so much!”
“Aims, you’re getting snot on my jacket.” Connor grinned at his sister.
“Shut up, you little asshole.” Amy wiped her tears, then backed up to let my family give us both hugs.
Gia was next, then Devin pushed an unwilling Marshall over to us. Marshall folded his arms and gave me a heartbroken look. Then he shot Connor a death glare.
Connor laughed out loud and scooped Marshall up in his arms, tickling him until he could hardly breathe. “Don’t look at me like that, kid. I have to marry her! I love her too much!”
Marshall laughed and struggled to get away from his uncle at the same time. When he broke free, he resumed his death glare and said, “Eight years.”
Connor raised an eyebrow. “Eight years? What?”
Marshall grinned. “Until I-I-I can drive a c-car.”
“Oh no.” Connor covered his face with both hands. “I forgot you were getting so old.” Then he turned to look at me with a fake sad expression. “Dani, do you still want to marry me, even though we only have eight years until Marshall steals you from me?”
I burst out laughing and wrapped Marshall up in a quick hug. Then I turned back to Connor and laced my fingers through his. “I’ll take all the time with you that I can g-get.”
30
Five Years Later
Dani
“I want Daddy to make me bam-cakes,” Maddi whined.
“I know, baby.” I reached out to run my fingers through my three-year-old daughter’s golden curls. “D-daddy had something important to do today, but he’ll b-be back this afternoon to play with you.”
Maddi glared at me and folded her arms across her chest. She might have gotten Connor’s eyes, but she inherited my flair for the dramatic.
“I’ll make pancakes, though! I’m good at pancakes, right?”
“No. Daddy’s good at bam-cakes.”
“Oh, little love.” I kissed Maddi’s forehead and grabbed the box of pancake mix. Connor was a better cook than I was, but it was my turn to hold down the fort at home. I’d been gone a lot over the last few months working on my latest indie film, but it was also the hardest day of the year for Connor.
Callie Rae Williams died seven years ago today, in a tragic car accident.
Connor and I struggled with this anniversary the first couple of years that we were together. I tried to hang back and be understanding. I tried not to let it hurt me when he withdrew that first year, but I fucked it up.
The next year he tried to downplay it so I wouldn’t be hurt, which in turn hurt him.
The year after that, we figured it out. It was Connor’s day to do whatever he needed to do to remember her and honor her. He’d leave early in the morning before Maddi or I were awake and get home sometime before dinner.
I wouldn’t ask him what he’d spent the day doing because it wasn’t my day. It was Callie’s. It was theirs.
At first, I’d been terrified that I’d have to share the man I loved with a ghost forever. But Connor was mine 364 days a year. One day was such a small price to pay. It was such a small piece to share with an incredible woman who helped shape him into the man he was today.
I heated the griddle and mixed the pancake batter. “You want bananas, baby girl?”
“I’m not a baby!” Maddi was still shooting me some fantastic glares across the kitchen table.
“I’m so sorry. Do you want bananas, big girl?” I grinned at my little sassy-pants.
“Yes.” Maddi rolled her eyes.
◆◆◆
Around 4 pm, Maddi and I were snuggled up on the couch, looking at old pictures of Lizzy. The poor sweet dog had passed away a few months ago, and Maddi was struggling to understand. She’d still wake up some mornings and ask, “Where’s Lizzy?”
It made my heart hurt. Connor did everything he could for Lizzy girl, but she was just old and ready to go.
Maddi and I heard the front door open, and Maddi screamed, “Daddy!” and dove off my lap.
“Hey, baby girl!” Connor grinned at our daughter and sank down to scoop her up in his arms. Maddi didn’t correct him. Ah. So he was allowed to call her baby girl. Noted.
Connor made his way into the kitchen with Maddi still in his arms. “What should we make for dinner?” he asked her.
“Bam-cakes!” Maddi giggled.
I scoffed. “I made pancakes for breakfast!”
Connor smiled. “Well, I didn’t get any, so I guess we need them for dinner, too.” He kissed the top of Maddi’s head and set her down gently.
I stood and walked into the kitchen. I was never quite sure how to approach my husband on this day. He surprised me and pulled me into his arms. “Hey, baby.” He kissed
me softly. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
I laughed and shrugged. “Like this much?” I held my finger and thumb about an inch apart.
Connor smiled and shook his head. “So much more, Dani.” He grabbed the box of pancake mix and patted Maddi’s head. “Pancakes again for my princess?”
“Yeah, daddy!” Maddi clung to his leg and grinned up at him.
◆◆◆
Later that night, Connor collapsed next to me in bed and said, “I forgot to show you the text Marshall sent me a couple of days ago.” He laughed and held up his phone for me to read it. 3 more years, dude.
I shrugged. “I don’t get it.”
Connor grinned at me. “Three more years until he can drive and steal you from me.”
I burst out laughing. I’d completely forgotten about the adorable little crush Marshall used to have on me. He didn’t speak to Connor for a solid week after we got engaged. “I can’t believe he’s a a a teenager now!”
Connor smiled as he plugged his phone into his charger. “And in a band.”
“He’s going to break s-so many hearts.” I laughed and pulled the blankets up to my chin. I was so proud of Marshall and how far he’d come with his self-esteem. The last time we talked about stuttering, he’d said, “Sometimes I I I don’t even t-t-try to stop, b-b-because it’s just a p-part of me.” Then he’d shrugged, flipped his caramel-colored hair out of his eyes, and headed up to his room with his guitar.
Lately, I learned more from Marshall than he ever learned from me.
Connor climbed under the covers with me and wrapped his arms around me. Then he let out a heavy sigh. “I went to visit her parents today.”
My heart pounded in my chest. He never talked about what he did on this anniversary. That was our agreement. He didn’t have to tell me. “How did that g-go?” My voice was soft.
“It was sad, but it was good. I haven’t seen them for years. I think the last time was right after we got married.” He ran his hand gently up and down my arm.
“I um, I remembered being afraid that they’d be hurt and upset that I’d married you, but they weren’t. They were just happy I’d called.” Connor sighed. “I showed them pictures of you and Maddi today, and they were so happy for me. They told me to go home and hold onto my beautiful girls with everything I had.” Connor’s hand gently stroked my hair now.
“They sound like really great people,” I said. God, it must have been hard for them to lose their daughter, but they still managed to be happy for her husband. “That’s amazing that they can still support you.” I turned to smile at Connor.
He nodded and kissed my forehead. “They’re great, and they’re right. Holding on to you guys is exactly what I’m going to do. You know that right, baby? Every day that I can?”
“I know that, baby. I’m holding on, too.” I snuggled into my sexy husband and sighed. We didn’t have a perfect marriage. We annoyed the shit out of each other, just like any couple. We struggled to balance careers and parenting. We argued and disagreed, but we didn’t run.
Connor and I had promised each other years ago that we wouldn’t run from the hard stuff. Every time we kept that promise, our love deepened.
I kissed him softly and said. “Thank you for telling me about your day. I know it’s hard for you to talk about all of this, so it means a lot when you let me in.”
“Thank you for letting me talk about it when I need to. I know it’s not always easy to hear.” Connor kissed my forehead.
“I love you, Connor.”
“I love you, too.”
I rested my head back on his chest and traced his newest tattoo— the one he got for Maddi and me. It was a little badass crown for his princesses. Our crown was right next to Callie’s bird, not even a millimeter above or below it because Connor’s beautiful, perfect words were true.
There was no first place or second place. There was only time.
A Note From the Author:
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this book, be sure to check out my other works all available on Amazon.
Follow me on Instagram @nikkiparisromance or check out my website https://www.nikkiparis.com to stay updated on my current works in progress.
- Nikki
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