Fuck.
Zen looked over his shoulder at Evesse, wondering how he was going to spring this one on her. She’d witnessed, experienced, and learned enough in the last few weeks to test any ex-mortal’s mind. “Does Ianthen know this?”
“He’s the first one that realized she was a Vy’shi,” Ved answered. “He was with her when she cast a purification spell. He saw the power in her aura when it flared during the spell and recognized it. Then, we started looking, and I found the connection to you. Oh, and her DNA is growing unstable.”
Of course it was. “Meaning?”
“Her human DNA is under attack. The war demon and witch in her seem to be trying to take over. It’s subtle, but the mutation has definitely begun. No human can handle that sort of rapid change and survive. They’re just not built to sustain fast evolution. A species change like what Nylicia did to Evesse and Ismini, yes. And even that has to be done carefully.”
“Tell Nylicia to do it to Soleria, then.”
“It can’t be done. Her body has already begun to change. We’re talking about DNA that shouldn’t be able to co-exist, let alone combine outside of special circumstances. We have no idea what’s really going on inside her, and she’s refusing to allow me to do any hard tests. I think she thinks I’m going to try to slow it down, and apparently, she really wants to stop being human. I’d be worried, but Nylicia said it’s going to work out one way or the other.”
Oh, Zen was liking this less and less by the second. “One way or the other? And what exactly is this dependent upon?”
Vedlyl stayed silent.
“It’s Ianthen, isn’t it? Somehow he’s tied into this.”
Vedlyl cursed under his breath, confirming Zeniel’s suspicion.
“What does he have to do with it? Tell me, Vedlyl.”
“I can’t.”
It was Zen’s turn to curse. “You know how he is with women. I know how he is. I’m the one with the sin-radar.” And centuries before, back in ancient Rome, when he’d first seen Zexistr’s crime and had almost lost himself to Mavrak, he’d stumbled upon Cyake and Ianthen.
They’d caused hundreds of thousands of broken hearts during their lifetimes. Each. They’d each run through women, using their wolf-instincts as an excuse, and leaving a trail of heartbreak in their paths.
It had taken everything in Zen not to rip out their hearts right then and there. And he hadn’t been able to return to his friends, nor lay eyes on them for over three-hundred years after that.
He couldn’t lay eyes on them now considering his current state.
“This is bullshit. You know he’s going to mess this up.” Rubbing his forehead, Zen turned and stared worriedly down at Evesse.
“I’m sure you’re right. But it’s not like we can intervene. We’re just going to have to wait and see. It’ll work out, I’m sure.”
Looking at his R’ma, Zen couldn’t shake the feeling that Ved just might be wrong about that one.
Chapter 27
The first thing Evesse registered when she woke up was the misery racing through her system. A mix of I can’t do this, God this hurts like a bitch, and I need more sleep assaulted her in the form of her mental voice as she came to. Groaning, she shifted, feeling the tops of her thighs bump into something.
“Careful. You’ll tip the tray over.”
His voice was split. Realizing that her R’mann was in the room with her—and that he was most likely in war-demon form—she squinted an eye open. Fuck, her head. No, her everything. Every inch of her ached. Her incisors and lower abdomen hurt the most.
Her chest expanded with a breath. The smell of semen reached her. She let out a soft moan, pinpointing where the scent was coming from.
A choked sound came from Zen’s direction.
He’d come on her. All over her thigh. While she’d been out.
She waited for the throbbing arousal she felt to be overcome by indignity. Anger. Anything unpleasant.
Didn’t happen. Her instincts were slightly soothed, happy despite everything she had witnessed. She couldn’t deny it: she was pleased.
Fucking hell. R’mannevs just didn’t make sense.
On her lap was a huge bed-tray with enough food on it to feed three people. Freshly cooked, delicious smelling food.
“Why’d you materialize this for me?” Eve asked, wondering if she’d be able to hold down any of it.
“I didn’t.”
“What?” Her head shot up, seeking him out with her eyes.
The moment she saw him, the ache in her teeth and womb morphed to earth-quake proportions. The pain hit her like a thousand hammers, making her vision spin.
Zen stood in front of the fireplace, fingers knuckle-deep in the cracked mantel. Wearing only leather pants and his boots, he was too much for her to take-in.
And, despite how angry she still was, too much to resist.
His markings were on display, and those sexy black-and-red eyes were focused on her intensely.
“Mavrak?”
He shook his head, the muscles from his wrists, up to his arms, and into his pecs flexed as he tightened his hold on the mantel. A loud crack echoed in the room. His legs shifted restlessly.
He was holding himself back.
Eve bit her lip, nervous, angsty and needy all at once. “Z—Zen?”
Zen nodded, his jaw muscles convulsing frantically.
It was barely him. She could tell he was close to losing it to Mavrak.
“Please. Eat,” he said softly.
She tucked her hair behind her ear, looking down at the spread before her. “I . . . why’d you get me all this?”
“I didn’t. I made it for you. Had to. Now, please, eat. You were bleeding a lot and I . . . I need to feed you. Take care of you. Please, eat.”
Her heart clenched so tight, her left arm actually twitched. He’d made it for her? So, he knew how to cook. She didn’t know why she was surprised that he could cook, but she was. There was so much she didn’t know about her own mate, damn her.
She bet that bitch of an ex-lover of his fucking knew he could cook.
Realizing that it was obviously important to him that she eat, Evesse picked up the fork and knife and went to work on the food. She started with the steak and fried eggs. Her stomach didn’t fight her as much as she thought it would. Probably because the food was delicious. And it should have been enough to distract her, but feelings of inadequacy ate away at her.
She couldn’t stop comparing herself to that female she’d seen. Zeniel’s fucking lover. Just thinking about it made the memories knock at her brain, threatening to overcome her again if she so much as turned her full attention in that direction. Tears stung her eyes, and she reached up to wipe at them, annoyed when she heard herself sniffing. Even worse, she started speaking all of a sudden, voicing the pathetic insecurities inside her.
“She’s beautiful.”
No explaining, he knew who she meant. She dematerialized the tray with the food, her appetite gone.
“Not more than you. No one is.”
Eve scoffed, running the back of her hand across her eyes. “Yeah, okay. You’re just saying that. And she’s probably more worthy of being your mate than I am.”
A blast of wind hit her, and when she looked up, Zeniel was in front of the bed, kneeling on the floor and fisting the covers.
“That’s not possible,” Zen snapped, making her jump. “I’m the one not worthy of you. Besides, no one could ever be better than you. Rhalira is a lying, manipulative female who had me fooled. And even if she hadn’t been, she would never equal you in my eyes.”
“I’m not that great either,” Eve argued in a small voice.
Zen stared at her, brow tense, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “What in the Universe could make you say that?”
Eve shrugged, looking away and feeling even more pathetic. There was no way she was telling him where those feelings of inadequacy originated from. Yeah, she was aware of why she felt the way she did, but sh
e so wasn’t going there.
“Evesse, tell me.” His tone was hard, almost threatening.
Apparently, his commands were stronger than her own. “Even my own mother didn’t want me.” There, she’d said it.
She knew why she’d never felt good enough. It hadn’t just been the opinions of others that had gotten to her. Before that, there had always been a taunting whisper in the back of her head, born of rejection.
“Evesse, I—”
She shook her head, interrupting him. Now that she’d started, she had to get this out. She had to. The words were suffocating her.
“She just . . . she stared at me. Right into my eyes. There was so much hate . . .” Eve paused, feeling Zen staring at her but unable to stare at him. The exposed-brick wall over the fireplace became a projection, a replay of the look in her mother’s eyes. “She was my mom. Even after she sent Lex away, I still . . . I still . . .”
Damn it, Eve. Don’t you dare cry anymore. Don’t.
But then Zen placed his hand on her knee, the touch full of so much comfort it broke something in her. He was kneeling there, trapped by his split from Mavrak, his eyes black-and-red, and still he was listening. Still, he was trying to offer her comfort.
The pressure of her pain became too much. The veins in her head throbbed until she had only one choice: give into the only thing that could alleviate the pressure. And with the first tear, it all hurtled forth, leaving her there, shaking and trying her best to hold the massive sobs that wanted to break free.
“He tried to fucking rape me and when I killed him, she hated me. Me. Clearly, there’s something wrong with me if my own mother hated me so much. The cops had to hold her back from attacking me. The things she said . . . it should’ve been me. Not him, oh no. Because I was lying, because—”
Her voice broke, her head on the verge of exploding. She needed to crawl into a ball and hold on tight. She needed to crawl into Zeniel’s lap and have him hold her.
As if he read her mind, he shifted, and next thing she knew, she was between his legs, pressed against his chest. He leaned back against the headboard, hugging her. Her tears streamed onto his neck. She wanted to stop so badly. For her sake and his own. The last thing he needed was to hear this, not in the mentally fragile state he was in.
“Evesse,” he said, his accent making her name sound so beautiful. “You are . . . I . . . I adore you.”
Eve gasped. Through his mental-split, through the hate and need for vengeance . . . it was two voices that had spoken to her. Both halves of him. “I—I . . . what?”
Zen pressed his face against hers, his body shaking. She tried to pull back and look at him but he tightened his hold and didn’t let her. He hated when she looked at his face while he was in war demon form, but she needed it more than she needed her next breath. What he considered a monstrosity was gorgeous to her. Nothing was sexier than him, especially when his eyes were that color and his cheekbones were pronounced like they were now.
“Zen . . .”
“I love you.”
A tiny sob rattled out of her, his declaration lancing her with a sweet pain that overwhelmed her. “Oh God . . . Zen . . . how can you? How? I’m tainted.”
“You are no such thing,” he said, his voice a growl in her ear.
“I killed a man—”
“You had every damn right to do so.” He lifted her hand up to his lips, kissing the scar where the shard had once cut into it.
She’d wondered why the fuck that scar had remained after she was brought back to life and given a new body.
“But I’m not pure. How can you love me?” And she was talking to Mavrak in that moment, something she knew he understood.
“No. You’re not pure,” he agreed.
Eve tensed.
“But you’re fucking perfect to me.”
More tears fell and Eve burrowed deeper into his embrace. “I killed a man. Isn’t that wrong?” she whispered.
“No. It isn’t. It wasn’t born of selfishness. And even if it had been, he deserved it. I have no desire to punish you because of that. That’s the difference. A difference you are teaching me.”
“Zen . . . fuck . . . Zen . . .” She pulled back and forced him to do the same, enough for their eyes to meet. “I love you more than I can handle. And it’s not just because you’re my R’mann, understand?”
“I love you,” Zeniel repeated, his voice pure gravel. He was going to eat her. Just chomp into her. Everywhere. As soon as he could move. He was shaking so hard she was jostling in his arms.
Beautiful. She destroyed him. All black hair and huge brown, red, yellow and black eyes staring up at him full of emotion. Her cheeks were still wet, and the tip of her nose was pink. Sexy and adorable, and all his.
No, not yet.
He was going to remedy that. The moment his limbs got with the program, he was claiming her once and for all. It didn’t matter that he was still struggling with Mavrak.
He wanted her. All of her.
He wanted her right fucking then.
Cupping her face, he brought her up to his mouth. “I want you.”
Eve trembled at his words. He leaned into her, sucking her lower lip into his mouth with the intention of just giving her one nip and letting go. The feeling of her plump lower lip got to him, though, and drew him in. Lost in the feel of her mouth, he suckled her softly.
His eyes were heavy-lidded, but he fought to keep them open. He held her gaze, biting down gently. Eve’s lids fluttered, her thick lashes fanning prettily in front of her eyes. A sexy, small moan left her. Her pupils were huge. Zen groaned at the sight, giving her lip one last, long suck before letting go.
Eve’s breath came in pants, her lips parted and wet with his saliva. Her little hands shook as she raised them up and cupped his face, fingers stroking his jaw.
“You have stubble. I didn’t know Gods had to shave. It’s sexy.”
He closed his eyes, basking in her voice. So different from moments before when she’d been hurt and crying. Pulling her in tighter, he skimmed her lips with his. “I don’t. I just haven’t been focusing on keeping my face smooth.”
“So, you’re smooth everywhere you focus on?”
“Yes.”
Eve froze at his answer. He opened his eyes, wondering what the hell—
“Fuck!”
She was out of his lap in a flash. He jumped off the bed, heart pounding, wondering where she went. The sound of the shower turning on had him exhaling loudly. Shaking his head, he went to the door, grabbing the knob with every intention of going in there.
“Wait!” Eve called out from inside. “I haven’t been focusing the last few days. How long was I out, anyway?”
“Five days,” he told her, hating the reminder.
“Fuck, shit. Ah, God, that’s just wrong. I’m totally wolfing it. And I can’t believe I just admitted that to you. And you’re so not coming in here till I’m smooth, you got it, Mister?”
Zeniel chuckled, leaning his forehead against the door. “Baby, I wouldn’t care about th—”
“But I do! So shut it and wait.”
He gave her one more minute, then opened the door and barged in, uncaring of whether she got angry or not. He found her under the showerhead, soaking wet from head-to-toe with her arms crossed as she glared at him.
She hadn’t even bothered pulling the curtain around the tub. A part of her had known he was going to go in there despite her warnings for him not to.
She’d wanted him to find her naked, wet, and willing.
At least, that’s what Zen’s instincts had convinced him of.
He stopped in front of the shower, feeling himself slipping deeper into his war-demon side. And not because of a need for vengeance. The God in him was entangled with what made him an animal, both strands of his code twisting and mutating and darkening. He could feel the blackness spreading inside him.
The darkness that demanded its mate.
He reached down, palming his c
ock through leather.
Eve stutter-stepped into the wall behind her, mouth gaping and arms falling limply at her sides.
Zeniel chuckled again. The sound was demonic. Just as possessed as he was. He wouldn’t have been surprised to hear a third timbre pop into his voice. He jerked his chin in her direction. “You’re feeling better.”
Eve’s eyes were still glued on where he was fisting his cock. “Not really.”
He smirked, taking a step toward her. “Any chance you won’t bite your R’mann’s head off for trying to go near you?” He punctuated the question with three hard strokes of his cock.
She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing hard. The moment her brow scrunched up and a flicker of pain rushed through her expression he was in the shower with her, pulling her up against him.
He couldn’t give her time to remember. He had to take her before the memories of what she saw got to her again and then he wouldn’t be able to touch her for days.
“Look at me.” Fisting her hair, he brought her up to his height, biting hard at her lip. They both moaned as he sucked in her blood, his tongue lapping at her. Her blood mixed with his, pumping hot through his veins. “I won’t ask you again, little mate. Look. At. Me.”
Eve opened her eyes. In them, he could see the anger rising, the residual hurt.
“You’re mine. And I’m yours. And I’m going to prove it to you right fucking now.” He cupped her ass, feeling her slick skin against his, nearly losing it right there.
“Nothing you do is going to make the images go away,” Eve said in a low voice, gasping at the end when he pressed her smooth, wet mound to his dick.
“Is that a challenge?” he breathed, leaning down and sniffing her. “Fuck. Smell so good . . . Eve, answer me. Are you challenging me?”
“No.” She clawed at his shoulders, seeming to be caught between pushing him away and pulling him closer. “I’m just being honest. How would you feel if you saw another male fucking me?”
He growled out a curse, slamming her into the wall and covering her with every inch of his body. Clenching his eyes shut, he fought the images. The mere idea of seeing another cock sliding in and out of his woman made him crazy.
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