‘Can we come in?’ Judith ventured when no one else had made a move.
‘Yes, how rude of me – please do.’
The hallway was airy and the echo of their footsteps on the hardwood floor only served to reinforce Maggie’s assumptions that the bungalow was spacious. Beneath the welcoming aroma of home baking she detected the smell of fresh paint. Kathy had been preparing the place for renting out but Maggie would rather believe that Anne commanded pristine living conditions.
‘I thought you’d be overrun with removal crates by now,’ Judith said.
‘Oh, I’m not moving just yet. Kathy needs to settle into the new house first and apparently there’s dry rot in the granny flat that needs some attention.’
This was news to Maggie and a frown was creasing her brow when Anne turned to her and said, ‘I can’t believe we’ve never met before. I’ve heard a lot about you though.’ Her voice was soft and light with only a touch of graininess that gave away her age. From her light, slow footsteps as she led them into the living room, Maggie gauged that Anne was of slight build and the dipped projection of her voice suggested that she walked with a stoop. Maggie’s senses were forming the image of a harmless old lady – but her heart held on stubbornly to a more monstrous figure.
‘Yes, it is surprising, but then I don’t think you like coming over to Sedgefield, do you?’ It was the first shot across the bow.
Anne’s answer was succinct and to the point. ‘No, I don’t.’
‘Why don’t you two sit down and I’ll make the tea,’ Judith offered. ‘I know where everything is.’
Maggie took a seat on the edge of a wide armchair. Her hands gripped the plush Jacquard upholstery as a twinge pulled across her stomach. She ignored it, concentrating instead on where to start her interrogation. Nerves got the better of her though and she found herself saying, ‘This is a lovely house. I imagine it’s going to be a big upheaval when you do move.’
‘But a nice change too,’ corrected Anne. ‘I’ve been on my own for too long now and it will be good having family around. They are so very important to me, now more than ever.’
The deep breath Maggie took forced the next words from her mouth. ‘You know why I’m here, don’t you?’
‘I think I’d prefer you to tell me.’
Maggie cleared her throat. ‘I know I have no right to invade your privacy and demand answers, but I’ve recently become very close to someone who knew you in the fifties. Elsie, or Elsa as you would have known her, moved back to Sedgefield earlier this year. I think she wanted some kind of resolution after everything that had happened to her all those years ago when she stayed with your aunt, Flo Jackson.’
‘Wanted, not wants?’ Anne asked, pouncing immediately upon the weak point in Maggie’s prepared argument.
‘She has Alzheimer’s and we lose a little more of her every day, but there are still times when she remembers and times, too, when she thinks she’s back in 1953.’
The tinkle of china announced Judith’s return to the room. ‘Tea’s up,’ she said. ‘I can leave it here if you would rather talk to Maggie alone?’
‘No, please stay. You’re practically family anyway. So, where were we?’ Anne continued as Judith busied herself pouring the tea. ‘Ah, yes, Elsa was quite a character; what we would have called flighty in my day.’
‘She was a young woman who made one mistake,’ Maggie protested.
Upholstery creaked as Anne struggled to get comfortable in her chair. ‘I didn’t mean to sound so harsh,’ she offered, ‘but it was very different back in our day. Respectable girls didn’t go to dances at Burtonwood airbase and they certainly didn’t become unmarried mothers. Elsa would have been in her early twenties when we met but she was still very much a teenager. Although, when all’s said and done, it was hard not to like her.’
Maggie recognised something akin to genuine affection in Anne’s voice and she found herself smiling. ‘She complained a lot about working at the greengrocer’s.’
Anne allowed herself a smile too. ‘Yes, she tried to use her pregnancy to get out of work but my aunt was no fool.’
‘Now I know where you get it from,’ mumbled Judith as she passed Anne her cup.
‘Why did you help her?’ Maggie asked.
‘My husband was her sister’s GP and I was his receptionist so I knew Celia quite well. I was there when she dragged Elsa along to the surgery to confirm her suspicions.’
‘Gordon was a doctor?’ gasped Judith. ‘I never knew.’
‘Yes, that came as a surprise to me too,’ added Maggie. She was about to ask what had caused the dramatic change in career but Anne was eager to continue with her story.
‘The two sisters had a very strict Catholic upbringing and, unlike Elsa, Celia conformed to tradition. She married young and already had a brood. I think she would have taken Elsa’s baby as her own if she hadn’t been pregnant at the time. I felt sorry for them and mentioned my aunt’s guesthouse. Aunt Flo agreed to take her in until she had the baby on the condition that Elsa earned her keep.’
‘That took care of Elsa, but you also had plans for the baby, didn’t you?’
‘Here’s your tea, Maggie,’ Judith said.
Maggie’s hand wrapped around the warmth of the cup then gripped it a little tighter as a twinge tried to take away her breath. It was her third that morning or was it the fourth? She refused to be distracted.
Anne sniffed dismissively. ‘Elsa couldn’t have looked after a baby! She barely knew how to take care of herself.’
‘She did a good enough job only a few years later,’ remarked Maggie.
‘By all accounts she married and went on to lead a happy life and I’m glad – but when she was in Sedgefield, Elsa was completely on her own.’
Maggie was about to reply but Anne stole her thunder. ‘I suppose she told you all about Freddie,’ she said barely disguising the barbs in her voice. ‘The handsome Yank who was going to whisk her off on his white charger so they could live happily ever after?’
Maggie shrugged. ‘Maybe it did sound too much like a flight of fancy but there’s no denying it turned into her worst nightmare. Elsa lost Freddie; she didn’t deserve to lose Tess too.’
‘Tess? Oh, yes, that was the name she gave the baby. It was so desperately sad.’
‘What happened to her?’ Judith asked.
Maggie’s pulse raced as she waited for Anne to decide whether to set free the truth or continue with a sixty-year lie.
‘She was stillborn, I’m afraid.’
‘That’s not how Elsie recalls it,’ countered Maggie.
‘And how reliable is her memory again? If you would care to check her medical records, they will tell you all you need to know.’
‘And it was your husband who recorded those details.’
‘I don’t know what you’re inferring but you would be well advised not to smear my late husband’s name.’ The sweetness had disappeared from Anne’s voice. She was losing patience but then so was Maggie.
‘By suggesting he had falsified birth records, you mean?’ Maggie asked bluntly. ‘What happened to make him leave the medical profession?’
Anne’s breathing had become shallow and she swallowed before saying, ‘I don’t want to appear rude but I really don’t think there’s anything more I have to say on the matter.’
Maggie cursed herself for antagonising Anne. Although she could prove she was lying, Maggie had wanted Anne Walters to give the information freely. There seemed little chance of that now.
‘It must have been so awful for you.’
‘I’m sorry?’ Anne asked, as stunned by Judith’s comment as Maggie.
‘I was only thinking that you would have been pregnant with Kathy around the same time that Elsa lost the baby. This all happened in 1953, you said?’
Maggie couldn’t read Judith’s face but she could read her voice. It hadn’t been an innocent comment at all.
‘Yes, although I have to say, I always thought Kathy wa
s born later. Up until recently that is …’ Maggie added but stopped herself from mentioning how she had come across Kathy’s date of birth. Flo Jackson’s will was the final piece of the puzzle and revealing it would come soon enough; Anne was leaving her no choice. ‘I’d assumed that because you went to school together you were the same age but you’re not, are you? I can’t believe she let us celebrate her sixtieth in the summer with paninis and a glass of wine.’
Judith laughed. ‘It wasn’t exactly a milestone Kathy wanted to celebrate and she would love people to think she was the younger one but she was a couple of years ahead of me at school.’
‘Elsie never mentioned that you were pregnant,’ Maggie said, turning her attention back to Anne. ‘In fact, she was under the impression that you couldn’t have children.’
‘It was a long time ago and even I’m struggling to remember things clearly,’ Anne said, feigning vulnerability. ‘I’m sorry, but all of these questions have worn me out. I can’t give you the answers you want, Maggie. History can’t be rewritten.’
‘No, I’m afraid it can’t and I would be doing Elsa a disservice by not finishing the job I came here to do.’ She let Judith take her half-empty cup and then fumbled around in her handbag. Her hands were shaking but she found the piece of paper that Jenny had typed out on her Braillewriter. ‘This is only an excerpt of your aunt’s will but I think it says it all. Shall I read it out?’
When Anne spoke, her tongue clicked against the roof of her dry mouth. ‘Can I stop you?’
As Maggie was about to begin, she felt a now-familiar pain pull across her abdomen. This time she checked her watch. She was going to have to stop calling them twinges and start timing her contractions. Her baby seemed determined to be as much a part of Elsa’s story as Tess and that somehow felt right. She took a moment and when she could speak, she said, ‘There’s one section that lists the estate but I think this is the important part. It says, “The property stated above shall remain in the possession of my niece Anne Walters and shall not be sold during her lifetime but passed in its entirety to her daughter, Katherine Margaret Walters. To Elsa Milton, nee O’Brien, I leave only my heartfelt apology. Wrongs have been done to you and for my sins I played my part. I can only hope that you eventually discover the door I have left open to the past and my dying wish is that one day you will be reunited with your daughter.”’
The moment she had finished, Maggie shivered as she imagined that door being flung open. ‘I’d say Flo’s final words speak volumes, wouldn’t you agree? She wanted Kathy to have the house so that one day her birth mother would come and find her. And it looks as if she has,’ Maggie said in a short summation of the truth that could finally be spoken aloud.
‘Have you told Kathy?’ Anne’s voice sounded further away than it should.
Maggie’s elation was swept away by guilt. ‘No. The only connection she’s aware of is that Elsa knew the woman who once owned her house and the salon. She presumes her dad bought them from Flo Jackson’s estate.’
‘No, she doesn’t,’ Anne said, her voice choking on the last remnants of emotional restraint. ‘She found the deeds of transfer and wanted me to explain why we had inherited the properties. My daughter waited for me to explain the family connection but I couldn’t do it. I desperately wanted the secret to stay buried.’
‘So if Kathy has worked out that you’re Flo Jackson’s niece then she knows the truth,’ Judith said.
In the pause that followed, Maggie imagined Anne nodding grimly.
‘She knows, but she’s still waiting for you to tell her, isn’t she?’ Maggie demanded.
‘I should have told her a long time ago,’ Anne said, her voice quaking. Her defences had been destroyed and had left her broken. ‘But I didn’t want to hurt her. I only ever wanted to protect my daughter, more than you could possibly know.’
‘No one could ever doubt that you love Kathy,’ Judith said, her voice a gentle balm in response to Anne’s roiling emotions. ‘You’ve been a good mum to her.’
‘I’m not the evil baby snatcher you think I am,’ Anne said, casting her remark towards the silent Maggie. ‘Although I will admit, I was jealous when Elsa and her sister asked for my help. It was so unfair that some girls could fall pregnant without even trying. I had struggled for years and yes, Judith, it is awful to witness a baby being stillborn; in fact, it’s harrowing. But you have to believe me – it was only after Elsa mentioned having the baby adopted that I realised what an amazing opportunity had presented itself. By the time Elsa began to have doubts, I had already started to think of the baby as my own and I was prepared to go to any lengths to keep her safe from those who would only do her harm.’
Maggie was tensing herself for the next contraction but it didn’t stop her hearing another secret being swept over. ‘You actually thought Elsa would harm her own child?’
‘Not Elsa.’
‘Then who?’
‘Think ill of me if you must, but please, there are some things that Elsa would be better off never knowing; ghosts that should remain buried in the past.’ There was no strength left in Anne’s words. She wasn’t going to fight if Maggie insisted.
A gasp escaped her as the next contraction took hold and the only way Maggie could disguise it was to talk through it without pausing to think. ‘Let me be the judge of that.’
Anne went quiet but Maggie and Judith were prepared to wait. When Anne’s confession came the flare of anger in it took them both by surprise. ‘Did you ever stop to wonder how convenient it was that Freddie died when he did? No, of course not, and why would you? You fell for his charm just like Elsa did but Freddie didn’t die! He killed himself off and played the hero to the end.’
Maggie felt her jaw drop. ‘How could you know that?’
‘When Elsa wrote to Freddie and explained that she was pregnant, she also told him about me and how desperate I was to adopt the baby. I wasn’t only the answer to his problems; I was a potential source of income. While he was wooing Elsa with promises, he was busily extorting money out of me, through Celia. He threatened to return to England and take Elsa and the baby away to their ultimate ruination or we could save her by buying his eternal silence.’
‘So you put a pregnant woman through the torment of believing her fiancé had been killed?’ Maggie asked in utter disbelief.
When Anne spoke, her words were muffled. She had covered her face with one hand as she accounted for her misdeeds. ‘I know what I put Elsa through. I’m reminded of it every time I look at my daughter and see the same spark of life I once saw in her mother’s eyes before we snuffed it out. She had her heart broken twice over but we did what we considered to be the lesser of two evils. Remaining the hero was more than Freddie deserved but Celia knew her sister and I had to agree; she would see no wrong in him and had to be shocked into her senses.’
‘So Freddie was the real villain in all of this …’ Judith added.
Maggie shook her head as if to rid herself of the memories of Elsa sitting on the bench grieving for her perfect hero. She had never experienced such a sense of loathing for another human being.
‘And he’s been a spectre in my life ever since,’ Anne continued. ‘We had intended seeking a court order to formally adopt the baby, but I was terrified Freddie might turn up again with more threats before it was finalised. I was the one who persuaded Gordon to misreport the birth, but of course, that left us even more vulnerable to blackmail. And there you have it, Maggie, the reason my husband gave up his medical career. We had no choice but to start afresh.’
‘And that was why you cut off all ties with Flo Jackson,’ Maggie guessed.
‘I didn’t want to do it; I was all the family she had but she left me no choice when I caught her trying to sneak off with the baby to see Elsa.’
‘You stopped Flo from meeting up with Elsa?’ Maggie asked, the emotional pain of that revelation almost as intense as the next contraction.
‘I’d been visiting my aunt when she offered
to take the baby to the park so I could do a bit of shopping. I was about to leave her on the High Street when someone stopped to say hello and mentioned that they’d seen Elsa sitting down by the lake. Even Aunt Flo couldn’t talk her way out of that one,’ Anne explained. ‘Kathy was only a month old at the time and, however remote the possibility, I couldn’t risk losing her.’
‘That particular pleasure was left to Elsa.’
Despite the harsh assessment, there was no malice. Maggie had heard only painful truth from Anne and, despite her best efforts, she no longer thought of her as a monster. She was a frail old woman who had been driven by circumstance and longings for a child to call her own. Maggie had seen Jenny go through a similar kind of misery so it was impossible to condemn Anne.
‘I know it looks like I was the one who got what I wanted,’ Anne said, ‘but I think, on balance, Elsa got what she needed at the time, however cruel it may seem now. I still have the letters Freddie sent to Celia, setting out his stall, along with the forged note supposedly from his commanding officer informing Elsa of the accident. I keep them to remind me that we did the right thing, for Kathy most of all. She couldn’t have been more loved.’
Maggie couldn’t reply, her jaw was set in a grimace and she dug her fingers deeper into the armchair.
‘So what will you do now?’ Judith asked Anne.
It was Anne’s turn to catch her breath as emotions overwhelmed her. ‘I need to speak to my daughter. I just hope she can forgive me.’
‘Kathy was willing to accept your silence on the matter: if that isn’t testament to how much she loves and admires you then I don’t know what is,’ Maggie said.
‘And will you tell Elsa?’ Anne whispered.
‘I had hopes of reuniting her with her daughter but I have to consider other people’s feelings. It pains me to say it but it might have to be enough to simply tell Elsie that her daughter is happy and loved.’
There was nothing left to say and no one argued when Maggie suggested it was time to go. Anne had laid bare her soul but it was a measure of her character that she retained her dignity to the last. She was courteous enough to give her persecutor a kiss on the cheek as they stood at the door, leaving a trail of damp tears on Maggie’s face.
Where I Found You Page 30