by Joan Kilby
“Shh, forget it. It would’ve just gone to waste.” That wasn’t strictly true. Molly took leftovers home for her and Rolf’s dinner, but Dave didn’t need to know that. She dropped into the seat opposite. “Are you seeing another counselor?”
“I’m on a couple of waiting lists. Shouldn’t be too long now, three or four months.” He ate swiftly, wiping up the sauce with a chunk of bread.
Who knew how low he would sink by then? It was obvious his depression hadn’t lifted. Most likely his panic attacks hadn’t gone away, either. “My offer to give you therapy privately still stands. You can pay when you get a chance. I’m in no hurry.”
“I’m not going to take advantage of your good nature.” When she started to protest, he held up a hand. “No, don’t. However, if the program’s funding is renewed, let me know.”
“All right.” Hayley rose and squeezed his shoulder. “You take care, okay?”
Dave finished his meal and shambled out. Hayley paid for his lunch out of her own purse. With the lunch rush over and the café empty, she wiped down all the tables and filled the napkin dispensers. Anything to keep busy so she didn’t have to talk to Molly.
Every time she looked into her mother-in-law’s warm brown eyes she was reminded of Leif—and then of the inscription on the watch. She was terrible at lying and worse at hiding her emotions. Already this morning Molly had gently probed several times to see if anything was wrong.
“Leave that, hon. Time you and I took a load off our feet.” Molly put an arm around her shoulders. “You look tired. Your eyes are all red.”
“I’m fine. Didn’t get a good sleep is all.” Between Leif’s betrayal, Adam’s kiss and her own confused reactions to both men, both her head and heart had been swirling half the night. She’d finally come to the cold realization that any love she’d had for Leif had been destroyed. She was no longer heartsick at losing him, just sad and angry at the wasted years.
“I’ve got something that will cheer you up.” Molly bustled into the kitchen where she’d been busy for the past hour and returned with a chocolate cake dotted with silver birthday candles.
“Whose—?” Oh, God. How could she have forgotten?
“Leif would have been thirty-four today. I wanted you to come to the house for dinner so we could have this with Rolf but I think you need it now.”
“You’re always so thoughtful,” Hayley murmured. Just the thought of eating a birthday cake dedicated to Leif was enough to make her feel sick. “I’m kind of on a diet.”
Molly snorted. “Don’t give me that. If you lose any more weight you’ll blow away with the next stiff breeze. Now, light the candles and we’ll sing.”
Her heart sank. “Oh, no, really? What if someone comes in?”
“We’ll give them a piece of cake. As long as I have a slice left to take home to Rolf.”
Hayley lit the candles, resentful and confused and feeling like a giant hypocrite. Molly’s voice quavered and her eyes were shiny as she sang the birthday song, clutching Hayley’s hand tightly.
Hayley sang along and if she sounded as if she was choking it was from anger, not grief. She’d never told Molly or Rolf about Leif’s earlier infidelities, and she didn’t want to talk about his affair with Diane, either. Knowing how highly they esteemed their son she wasn’t even sure they’d believe her. She adored Molly and wanted to maintain a relationship with her. That might not be possible if she spoke the truth. But it was hard to meet Molly’s gaze over the birthday cake and pretend nothing had changed.
Molly blew out the candles, then cut two thick slices to go with their steaming cups of strong coffee. “Rolf and I dropped by your place yesterday but you weren’t home. I left a casserole in the fridge.”
Hayley never locked her door—there was nothing to steal—a fact her in-laws were well acquainted with. “Thanks, but I’m not staying there right now. I’m at Timbertop.”
Molly frowned over her coffee cup. “Whatever for?”
“I’m giving the girl, Summer, horse therapy. Her father, Adam, kindly offered my horses—and me—room and board in partial payment. He’s got grass he wants eaten down and it saves me money. It’s a good exchange.”
“But why do you need to stay in a stranger’s house? You always said you liked your own space. It must be awkward.”
“There’s a guest cottage.” No need to mention she’d moved into the house. “But it is a little awkward. I’ll probably go back to the garage today.” Though in truth she didn’t want to anymore. Blaze was due to give birth any day, and she wanted to be present. And if she was completely honest, she liked being around Adam and Summer.
“If only Leif was alive,” Molly said with a sigh. “He’d have had your new house built by now.”
Leif was so lax about money, that scenario seemed extremely unlikely. She gazed down at her cup, tracing the pattern of flowers. “I’m not so sure.”
“What do you mean?” Molly said. “Leif was good with finances—why, he paid off his truck in six months—and he’d been saving for the dude ranch for years. He would’ve built the house first, of course.”
Hayley just couldn’t let another comment in praise of Leif go by. “He wasn’t the great money manager we all thought he was. He spent large sums and didn’t tell me about it.”
Leif had done most of the banking, at his insistence. After he’d died she’d found that not only hadn’t he renewed their home insurance but their savings account also contained a lot less than she’d thought. Plus he’d withdrawn five hundred dollars from their retirement account, and she had no idea what he’d done with it. Most likely he’d spent the money on Diane, a high-maintenance woman.
“What do you mean? How much money are you talking about?”
“Lots.” As near as she could tell from reviewing their bills and accounts, a couple thousand dollars over a six-month period was unaccounted for.
“I don’t understand.” Molly’s frown deepened. “What on earth would he spend it on that you didn’t know about?”
Hayley fiddled with the end of her braid. Molly would be devastated to know the truth about Leif. Could she really destroy this woman, whom she loved and who loved her like a daughter? Molly had strong moral values but blood was thicker than water. She couldn’t bear if Molly were to learn the truth and still made excuses for her son.
The door to the café opened. In walked Adam and Summer.
“Hayley?” Molly pressed. “Tell me.”
Summer paused uncertainly between the gift shop and the café, keeping her distance from the jewelry display.
Adam waved to Hayley and started to walk toward her.
Hayley rose and squeezed Molly’s shoulder. “It’s not important now.”
CHAPTER NINE
“CAN I INTEREST you in some pie?” Hayley said, smoothing down the black apron she wore over her slacks and top. “Molly’s blueberry is awesome.”
Hayley felt Adam’s eyes on her every step of his approach. Her own gaze was drawn to him like a magnet. Was it possible that his shoulders were broader and his legs longer than yesterday? Their embrace, brief and chaste as it was, seemed to have awakened a deeper, more intimate attraction.
“Sold, with a scoop of caramel ice cream. Summer”—Adam drew his daughter into the conversation—“is dying for rocky road.”
“I am not.” Summer came forward reluctantly. “He’s the one who insisted we come here for ice cream.”
“What would you like, then?” Adam asked.
“Hot chocolate,” Summer said, then grudgingly added, “with ice cream. Please.”
“Rocky road?” Hayley asked with a smile and Summer nodded sheepishly. “I like your hair like that. Turn around, let me see. The flowers you wove through it are pretty.”
Summer spun around to show off her attempt at a French braid a
nd the sprig of yellow acacia. “I couldn’t get the top part right. Maybe sometime you could show me how you do yours?”
“Sure.” She gestured to the table by the window. “Have a seat and I’ll get your order.”
Hayley turned to find Molly watching the exchange, her eyebrows slightly raised. Her mother-in-law never missed a thing. Which made her fun to gossip with, but all joy was lost when Molly’s eagle eye was trained on her.
She heated the milk for hot chocolate, then moved across to the ice cream freezer. Adam had taken a chair facing the kitchen. Every time her gaze flicked in his direction he quickly looked away and pretended to study the menu. Summer was texting on her phone, oblivious to her father’s wandering attention.
Molly noticed, though. She cut a slice of pie and passed it to Hayley to add the ice cream. “He’s got his eye on you.”
Hayley dropped a double scoop on the plate and pushed a wisp of hair off her forehead. “I don’t think so.”
“I’ve got eyes in my head, girl. I’m telling you, he’s got an ulterior motive in letting you stay in his cottage.”
What would Molly think if she knew Hayley was actually sleeping just down the hall from Adam? Not that anything was going to happen, but someday she’d be ready to go out with another man. Would she be forever worrying about Molly’s feelings?
“You need to let him know you’re not interested,” Molly went on. “Your husband hasn’t been dead a year. You’re still in mourning.”
Her firm tone got Hayley’s back up. Maybe she was interested. Her relationship with Leif had been troubled for years. She hadn’t wanted to admit it to herself, but no matter how hard she’d tried to knit her marriage together with forgiveness and love and sheer determination, it had unraveled like one of her homemade cardigans when she’d realized she’d made a mistake ten rows back.
Where had she gone wrong in her marriage? What was the dropped stitch that threw out the whole pattern? Marrying a man who had an eye for women in the first place—or not knowing when to give up?
Anyway, it wasn’t Molly’s place to tell her she wasn’t interested in a new man. Hayley loved her mother-in-law to bits, but right now she was irritated that the woman assumed she could judge her life and determine her future. A few words about Leif’s affairs and she might change her tune.
Hayley moved along the counter and quickly mixed the chocolate into the hot milk. She could tell Molly hadn’t fully believed her about the money, and she wouldn’t, not without proof. Hayley couldn’t supply that information unless she revealed Leif’s affair.
“Do you hear what I’m saying, Hayley?” Molly stuck a fork on the plate. “You’re a bit naive about men. You didn’t even notice that guy hitting on you at the movie night last month.”
She’d noticed but pretended not to, because she wasn’t interested. And in Adam’s case, while he might flirt with her, he was leaving town as soon as he could. On the other hand, what harm could it do to flirt back?
It hit her in the gut that for her own mental and emotional health she had to move on from Leif. She needed to leave behind his betrayal and death and all those bad things that were keeping her sad and angry and guilty. She wanted to be happy again.
“Thanks for the advice.” Hayley picked up the pie and hot chocolate and slipped through the gap in the counter. “I’d better get this out before the ice cream melts.”
She set the pie and ice cream and hot chocolate before Adam and Summer. “Here you go.”
“Yum,” Summer said. “Thanks.”
Adam dug in his spoon and scooped out a bite. “How’s your first day on the job?”
“Really busy over lunch, but we’re in a lull.” She watched the fork slide into his mouth and noticed how full his lower lip was, how sculpted the upper. His faint beard shadow ran below his cheekbone along an angular jaw. She racked her brain for some way to prolong the conversation. “How’s the fuel reduction project going?”
“I didn’t get much done today. Had a few interruptions from work but mostly I was working on your house plans—” He broke off, noticing a boy outside on the sidewalk waving, trying to get their attention. “Summer, is he a friend of yours?”
The boy’s brown hair was clean and his school uniform—different from the Hope Mountain uniform—was neat. But what drew Hayley’s attention were the burn scars on his arms and one side of his face.
Summer didn’t glance up from her hot chocolate. “I don’t know him.”
“He seems to know you,” Adam said. “Aren’t you even going to look and see who it is?”
“No.” Carefully she scraped the foam off the inside of her mug.
Because Summer knew exactly who the boy was, Hayley guessed. He looked to be texting on his phone now. Summer’s phone buzzed. She ignored it. Adam started to reach for it. Glaring, Summer snatched it first and turned it off.
Outside, the boy raised and dropped his arms in a gesture of frustration. Then he put his phone away and strode around the side of the café.
“He’s coming inside,” Hayley said.
Adam laid down his fork in the melting ice cream. “Summer, you’d better tell me right now if this boy has been bothering you.”
“Leave it alone, Dad. I can handle him.” But Summer paled as the boy advanced on the table. Before he could speak, she said, “Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Come on, Summer. Five minutes, that’s all I ask.” Up close, he had a downy moustache and while his features still had the softness of youth, he looked to be two or three years older than Summer. The faint burn scars on his face only slightly marred his good looks.
Adam got to his feet, looming a good head taller than the boy. “Buddy, she doesn’t want to talk to you.”
While Adam focused on the boy, Hayley watched the emotions playing over Summer’s reddening face. She seemed mortified at the public scene and angry with both the boy and her father. Yet there was a touch of yearning in her eyes when she looked at Steve. That was enough for Hayley.
“Breathe, Summer,” Hayley reminded her quietly. “Shoulders.” To the boy, she said, “Are you Steve?”
“Yes.” He straightened as he turned to face her. “Steve Wright. I just want to talk to her. That’s all.”
“I thought you moved away,” Hayley said.
“I hitched a ride up from Healesville.”
“She doesn’t want to talk, so you need to leave,” Adam said. “No means no.”
Hayley touched his shoulder. “Steve’s come a long way to see her.” To Summer she said, “Why don’t you give him five minutes? Your dad can wait for you outside. I’ll be right over there behind the counter.”
Summer pushed away her empty mug. “Fine.”
Hayley tugged Adam away as Steve slid into the chair opposite the girl.
“Where do you get off overruling me in a matter concerning my daughter?” Adam demanded. “And how do you know about this kid? I suppose Summer told you about him in her therapy.”
“A little, not much. I wouldn’t have pushed it if I didn’t think he might play a critical role in whatever demons she’s facing.”
“What kind of role?” Adam cast the teens a worried glance. “It can’t be good. She didn’t want to talk to him.”
“She does, really. I can almost guarantee that.” She couldn’t say anything more without compromising Summer’s confidences. “Trust me?”
Adam searched her eyes. “And if you’re wrong? What if he’s somehow hurt her, and will hurt her again given a chance?”
“Everyone gets hurt at some point in their lives. It’s how we deal with the hurt that matters. We have to grow up and learn how to live our own lives.”
And that was true for her as well, Hayley realized. She’d buried her head in the sand all through her marriage in the vain hope that s
he would be safe. Look how that had turned out.
Leif’s previous affairs were tied to specific circumstances. Like the time she’d been helping Molly 24/7 to get her gift shop and café up and running. Meanwhile he’d screwed around behind her back with an old classmate they’d met at their ten-year high school reunion. The other time she’d been pregnant, and severe morning sickness had left her feeling nauseous day and night and uninterested in sex. The miscarriage she’d suffered at ten weeks added injury to the insult of discovering his dalliance with a bar girl.
With Diane, what was his excuse? There was none. She’d been blindsided. This past year she’d wrapped herself in cotton wool, insulating herself from examining her feelings and her life with Leif. Not asking the difficult questions and facing the answers. Maybe it was time to let the hurt in, let it wash her clean so she could start afresh.
“That’s easy for you to say, but she’s my daughter and I worry,” Adam said. “I know virtually nothing about her private life. I know her best friend is Zoe, but that’s about it. She doesn’t play basketball anymore. She listens to music I’m not familiar with. I don’t know who she hangs out with at school. If there’s something you should tell me...”
Hayley was barely listening. Standing in front of her was a man who seemed interested in her and whom she found extremely attractive. Adam was a capable, intelligent man who engaged with the world in ways she could barely dream of. He was dynamic and confident and funny and sexy. Why wouldn’t she want to get to know him better?
“Are you okay?” Adam tilted his head, perplexed. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
She pressed the flat of her palm to his chest just above his heart. “Sometimes the only thing you can go on is instinct and what your heart is telling you.”
Her heart was telling her she wanted to enjoy a friendship with him despite all the other issues they were each dealing with. And maybe even flirt a little. Or a lot...
Something flickered in Adam’s eyes as if he understood exactly what she was thinking.