She was surprised she hadn’t run into Talon but maybe Colt was still processing the stunning news he had a brother and a half brother and a birth mother who wanted to connect with him. She wondered what she would feel if she learned her mother wanted to see her again. It had been so long, more than half her life. After her accident, she had wanted her mother to come visit her, take care of her, had cried for her, had begged her dad to try to find her, convinced her mother would come, but nothing. And it had been then she’d known deep down inside that her mother was gone, really gone, and no longer wanted to be a mother.
She still had no idea what she and Tucker had done wrong. How that abrupt departure was even possible. She couldn’t imagine ever leaving a husband and two daughters, especially without a clue as to why or without a goodbye.
“That corn is going totally to waste.” Luke poached the corn from her plate.
She grabbed for it, but he held it out of reach and laughed.
“That’s better.”
“How’s being a thief better?” She demanded.
“You’re smiling,” he said, holding out the corn so she could take a buttery bite.
She sighed as the flavors melted in her mouth.
“You looked so serious before. Sad.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. What were you thinking about?”
He sounded like he was interested and it didn’t occur to her to obfuscate. She wanted a real man so she too had to keep it real.
“Colt. Wondering how he was processing all this. You. And how I would feel if my mom suddenly came back.” She was surprised how hard it was to get the words out. It became that much harder when he touched a few wispy curls that danced around her pale face after escaping from her braid. “She left when I was eleven.”
And now her dad was thinking of selling the ranch. Her home. Her business. Without consulting her.
“Her loss,” he said softly. “My mom was—” He broke off, frowned, and then put his plate off to the side on the wooden bench where they sat in Founder’s Park. “She was a force of nature. Demanding. Volatile. Brilliant. Funny. So damn smart. She worked hard and went to school for a lot of my childhood, but she always stuck by us, never once wavered even when my dad left her for the second time.”
He sat quietly, his eyes thoughtful, face pensive as he watched local kids run across the grass, chasing bubbles, chasing each other, being chased by parents who wanted them to eat one last bite or whatever, beef, corn, potato salad, green beans, baked beans, berries. Tanner wondered what he was thinking, feeling. Was this a side of family life he didn’t see very often?
“I can’t imagine walking away and never looking back.” He admitted, his expression looking so haunted that Tanner felt herself ache.
She wanted to wrap her arms around him, comfort him, and for the first time saw him as something far more than a handsome, heart-stoppingly sexy man who was brilliant on the back of a bronc and a bull and who stirred her heart and other parts of her body. He was a man like she was a woman, strong yet sometimes weak, with a past of victories and defeats, joys and pains trailing behind them both.
“Me neither,” she said, consciously pushing away the heavy heart thoughts of her mother always induced.
Kane had joined them, a plate full of barbeque chicken, baked beans, corn, and salad, balanced on his lap. His attention though was not on the food. She looked over her shoulder to see what had so completely captured Kane’s attention. Oh. Kane fluidly stood to his feet and strode across the distance, his attention focused.
Luke made an irritated sound in the back of his throat. Unconsciously she put her hand over his as she saw Talon and Colt standing in line for Italian sodas made by the high school cheerleading team. Parker was perched atop Colt’s shoulders and was talking animatedly to Tanner’s neighbor and barrel racer Honey, whom Tanner had once mentored and now boarded her beautiful, championship horse, Halo. Honey wore a beautiful, white, embroidered western shirt and tight Wranglers.
Kane joined them easily, his smile dazzlingly and confident. He introduced himself to Honey, who fanned herself with her cowboy hat and then to Talon and Colt and Parker. Kane looked completely at ease. Talon had her fingers loosely around one of Parker’s feet and she leaned into Colt and talked to Kane.
“C’mon.” Tanner easily stood up, brushed a few crumbs from her jeans, and tugged Luke to his feet. “Time to stop playing ostrich.”
“Ostrich? That’s your best analogy? Can’t I be compared to a more powerful animal?”
“Ostriches can be quite cool. They run fast.”
“Running away is not a cool skill.”
“Exactly. So don’t run.”
He took their two paper plates and tossed them into a trash can. “Tanner, really. This is not a good idea.”
“It is.”
“I need to focus for tomorrow.”
“I know.” She caught her bottom lip in her teeth and worried it, hoping she wasn’t pushing too hard. “That’s why you need to go over there like Kane did. Face it. Three brothers. Talking. Just for a few minutes.”
For a moment she didn’t think he would. His entire body radiated a barely leashed tension, and it was another hint that her cowboy—oh, how she wished he were hers—had far deeper depths than she had imagined.
“Please.”
The nearly imperceptible easing of his tension gave her hope.
“It’s not that I don’t see a point to it.” He took off his hat, looked at the inside, worried the brim through his hands and then put it back on again. “I feel like the timing is forced. He”—with a jerk of his head toward Colt—“doesn’t want it. Kane’s pulling out all his charm and the guy can barely tolerate him, barely stand still. Look at him. I can feel his tension and desire to cut out from here.”
“But he’s not.” Tanner ran her hand lightly down Luke’s spine, sensing Colt might or might not be uncomfortable with the idea of an instant family, and he certainly seemed like he’d embraced Parker, but Luke definitely was.
“Then let’s go make it easier on both of them,” she said, glad to think of a problem other than the possible bombshell her father had dropped this afternoon.
“No idea you were such a do-gooder, Ms. McTavish.”
She smiled, still determined to lighten his mood. “I’m not. Total self-interest. In April, at the second annual bachelor auction, I spent a big chunk of my savings buying Colt for Talon, who’s become a good friend this past year when she moved to Marietta. Now that he’s left the army and they’re engaged, I’d like to get to know him.”
“This town has bachelor auctions?” Luke couldn’t contain a laugh. “And the date works out in marriage? Why aren’t dating sites shutting down the town?”
Tanner laughed. “Same thing happened last year so count yourself lucky you’re here in September, cowboy. This town raises a lot of money to help people and causes. For example, the rodeo’s steak dinner that you so kindly asked me to attend with you is raising money for Harry’s House, a place for kids to hang out and do after-school activities in honor of Harry Monroe. He was a local boy and an EMT who was killed by a motorist on the highway a few weeks ago. He had stopped to help another motorist change a tire and was hit. Nicest guy. Nicest family. I went to school with him. I still can’t believe it.”
Luke slid his arm around her waist and she leaned into him for comfort. He felt so good. Strong. Warm. Alive. And sweet, kind, caring Harry was dead.
“Give your brother a chance. You never know what could happen, Luke.”
The sudden image of him competing tomorrow rose up along with some of the sweet tea she’d drunk. Riding a bull was dangerous. So dangerous. He was good at it, but the best riders could be tossed and trampled. Secretly watching Luke compete from back stage when she didn’t know him was going to be completely different from watching him tomorrow. A tremor quaked through her body.
“Hey.” He stopped and turned, his hands on her shoulders,
his body blocking out the crowd. “I’m going to be fine tomorrow.” His voice was low and self-assured. “Better than fine. I’m going to ride whatever chance throws at me, and on Sunday I’m going to win, and if you’re there cheering me on, I might let you wear my buckle later.”
“With just my boots and hat?” She said huskily, knowing he wanted to keep things PG, but that was so not where she wanted to go.
She was twenty-seven. She couldn’t wait for what she wanted. Just like taking over for her father. She had to go with her gut and her vision. Not ask permission.
“Whoa, cowgirl, you’re playing with fire.”
She’d never said something so daring. So overtly sexual and Luke’s eyes had gone molten gold, and it seemed as if their intensity branded her body with heat that licked along her skin and started a slow burn, deep and low. He loosely held her chin and tilted it up so his mouth was millimeters from hers. Her eyes drifted closed and her lips parted.
Go for it.
“And we never did get around to the licorice,” she whispered against his lips. She breathed him in, and stood on tiptoes to capture his mouth. She wanted him to kiss her more than she wanted to breathe, but all she got was air.
Disappointed, her eyes opened and she saw him smiling a bit ruefully. “Audience,” he said. “And you wanted us to go play nice in an Italian Soda line.”
She bumped down to planet earth. It was probably for the best, but it sure didn’t feel that way.
Chapter Ten
Tanner pushed her hat back from her face and blew at her damp face before jamming her hat back on and grabbing a wheelbarrow full of sawdust. She walked across the widest dirt aisle that separated the bull pens. It was a lot more crowded now with stock and handlers. Sawdust was thick in the air. Along with the clash of metal against hoof and shout-outs from caretakers.
She loved it all. The animals. The lifestyle. The dirt. The smells. The sounds. It was her world, but the man pacing so easily beside her had elevated her love of her job and the rodeo into a whole new realm of paradise. Luke was fun to be around, and he was so sexy he made it hard to concentrate.
They’d chatted longer than she’d anticipated with Luke’s two brothers and Talon. It had been more natural than she’d expected although Colt hadn’t done much talking but, according to Talon, he was usually fairly quiet unlike her. Parker, with his bottomless enthusiasm, had eased most of the strain. He had been so excited Colt was back for good and marrying his mom so he could be his daddy. He was also crazy about the rodeo and the fact he would now have two uncles who rode bulls. When Kane and Luke had each issued an invitation to give Parker a behind the scenes look, he’d been over the moon and would have tumbled off Colt’s shoulders if Colt hadn’t been built like Copper Mountain.
Talking with Talon and the three men had made Tanner wish she and her sister were closer. They used to be. Until her accident. It had taken her a long time to heal and adjust, and when finally she’d come home after months in the hospital and rehab, it seemed like her family had moved on without her. But maybe she’d drifted away, too. Tanner shoveled more sawdust than was necessary because the physical activity helped her cope with her racing thoughts. She’d been hurt they hadn’t made an effort to visit after her dad came one time, and she’d been hurt later that Tucker made it so challenging to climb out of the background. That was Tanner’s issue, not Tucker’s. Tanner needed to be an adult and go for what she wanted, not just wish for it.
“Cowgirl, you shovel any more sawdust, you’ll have to dig out those bulls in the morning.” Luke held out his hand for the shovel.
She loved the small smile that quirked at the corners of his mouth. And the way his eyes glimmered behind their absurdly long lashes. What was the deal with men, real men honed in hard and dangerous work, getting the best eyelashes? Luke’s would have been feminine if his face weren’t so masculine.
She handed him the shovel and pushed the wheelbarrow off to the side, trying to think of what would be the best way to say what she wanted without being too vulnerable, without revealing… oh, screw it.
“You got a shower in your trailer, cowboy.”
The way eyes lit up and his smile went full, Hollywood fantastic and curled her toes boosted her courage even further.
“I do,” he said. “You want to see it.”
“And use it.” She pulled off her gloves and put them in her work bag that she hung on a peg outside the pens where her bulls were staying for the rodeo.
Then she subtly picked up a small duffle bag where she’d stashed a change of clothes and some toiletries in case she stayed with Luke longer than a quick hookup, before the walk of shame back to her truck, although she thought she’d be walking head held so high due to it being in the clouds.
He slid the bag off her shoulder and put it on his. Now that they were walking together back to his trailer, she felt a bit shy. It was one thing to be caught up in the moment like earlier today but quite another to pack an overnight bag. She fought the excuse to explain or to chicken out and by the time they’d reached his trailer, her heart was thumping so furiously she could barely swallow. Maybe she was being too daring. Tucker was just so much better with men.
“I can hear you thinking, Tanner.” Luke stopped outside his door. “Just jump in the shower. I’ll stay out here and, if you’d prefer, we can head back to the street party after you’ve cleaned up.”
“No. I’m not overthinking anything.” She lied. “I just need a shower.”
“Me, too, but ladies first.” He unlocked his trailer door and pushed it open.
She walked in alone and made her way back to the small bathroom. Tanner shook her jeans out over the small, square shower and watched the dance of dust motes and sawdust drift down towards the drain. Then she carefully folded them. She did the same to her sky blue, western style shirt, wanting to keep the tile floor clean. His trailer was nice, lots of upgrades. Definitely nicer than the one she used when she traveled to the rodeo, and while the shower was small, it was nicer than her bathroom back at the Triple T. And the shampoo and shower gel smelled like him, fresh, spicy with a tang of citrus.
Naked, she turned on the water, but before stepping in she looked at herself in the full length mirror. She was being an idiot being nervous and self-conscious. She was pale and freckled but so what? She was healthy and strong, athletically slim and, while she had very small breasts, it wasn’t like he couldn’t tell just from looking at her what he was getting. She needed to stop comparing herself to her sister. Her dad had always done it. Classmates in high school, especially boys, had noted the difference, questioning aloud how she and Tucker could possibly be twins. But once she’d gone away to college, she’d been her own person, and coming home, shouldn’t change the confidence she had built up over the years. She was a woman, not a young girl.
A soft knock on the sliding door interrupted her self-examination.
“Tanner, before you start, I have a clean towel for you.”
His voice woke something hot and needy in her and banished the nerves. She remembered something Tucker had yelled at her once when she’d fallen off a horse while practicing one afternoon and had laid in the dirt a little too long. “YOLO!” You only live once. Wasn’t that the truth?
Tanner slid open the door making no effort to hide.
“Wow.” Luke made a sound at the back of his throat, and it seemed for a moment it was hard for him to breathe. Then he took a compulsive step forward, the towel dropping to the floor as he let go of it. “Look at you,” he said and his hand shook a little as he touched her shoulder. “You’re beautiful.” His throat worked as he swallowed and Tanner felt her nerves settle and her confidence blossom. He looked awed, appreciative, not disappointed. “Luminous.”
“That’s a pretty word for pale, cowboy.”
“Wow. Just. Wow.” He breathed and with trembling fingers he caught the end of her braid and pulled out the elastic, then gently unbraided her hair.
His care and the
reverence on his face moved her like nothing else, and she didn’t even bother to blink back the unexpected sheen of tears. The real Luke far surpassed the Luke of her fantasies.
She tangled her fingers in his hair and began to back toward the shower pulling him with her just as she leaned up to close the distance between them. His kiss was hungry, way more assertive than when he’d kissed her earlier, or more accurately, she’d kissed him. He seemed all-in this time, and Tanner sighed happily and wrapped her arms around him, loving the press of the rough denim against her bare thighs, the dig of his shirt snaps against her chest and tummy.
He reached out to touch the water before it hit her and broke the kiss to dial it back. The gesture was so sweet that Tanner’s fingers tightened compulsively on his shoulders, dug in and held on as if she could somehow keep him close for longer than one night.
The spray was warm, not hot and cascaded over her head forcing her to close her eyes, drowning out all sound except the swoosh of water, which concentrated all her senses into feeling Luke’s mouth, his hands, his body. She had no desire to break contact so she dragged him all the way into the small shower stall with her.
He laughed and the vibration of his lips and breath against her mouth cranked up her desire. His shirt was slowly getting soaked and she popped the snaps and pulled, tugged, and peeled off the fabric, letting it slop down on the tile floor. Her hands reached out greedily to touch everything she exposed, savoring the muscle, hard planes, heated skin a little rougher than hers. Her mouth followed, closing over one of his nipples and flicking her tongue against it and drawing tiny concentric circles.
“God, Tanner.” He moaned against her throat. “You’re killing me.” His voice was harsh and barely audible over the pound of the water.
She took that as encouragement and reached between them to cup him through his jeans. Her hand convulsively closed over his thick length.
“Tanner, wait.” He covered her hand. “We… I have to…”
Want Me, Cowboy Page 12