by Jin Yong
Suddenly, Peachtree Root Fairy said, "Since the five mountains sword schools have already merged into Five Mountains School, then we'll allow nature to take its course. This is called knowing when to let things be."
Zuo Lengchan thought, "Ever since you six weirdoes have been on this mountaintop, these were the first words you said that resemble what normal people say."
Peachtree Trunk Fairy said, "Each of the schools has its own headmaster. Who do you think is the best to be the Five Mountains School's headmaster? If everyone unanimously elects the Peach Valley Six Fairies, then we'll be forced to take on the responsibility."
Peachtree Branch Fairy said, "Just then Mr. Yue said: The merger of the five schools is to the benefit of Wulin and not for personal ambition. Since it's like that, even though this position has a big responsibility, and requires a lot of work, the six of us will take on this difficult job."
Peachtree Leaf Fairy let out a long sigh, then he said, "Since everyone is so enthusiastic, how can we six brothers just sit on the side and be spectators, and not lend our strengths to the orthodox path in Jianghu?"
These six brothers were talking as if they had been elected to lead the Five Mountains School. A tall old man from Songshan School said loudly, "Who elected you to be the headmaster of the Five Mountains School? That's just crazy talk!" This person was Zuo Lengchan's martial brother, 'Tower Holding Palm' Ding Mian. At this time, people from Songshan School started to make some noise. One person said, "If today isn't a great celebration for the five schools' merger, we would've chopped all your legs off." Ding Mian added, "Headmaster Linghu, you don't care that these six crazy people are making a disturbance here?"
Peachtree Flower Fairy loudly said, "You're calling Linghu Chong 'Headmaster Linghu'! You're electing him as the Five Mountains School's headmaster? Just then Zuo Lengchan said that there's no more Heng-Shan School or Huashan School in Wulin. Since you called him Headmaster Linghu, that means you recognise him as the headmaster of the Five Mountains School."
Peachtree Fruit Fairy said, "When compared to us, Linghu Chong isn't as good as us. But since you want Linghu Chong to become the Five Mountains School's headmaster, then you'll have to settle for second best then, and we just have to put up with it."
Peachtree Root Fairy raised his voice and called out, "Songshan School nominates Linghu Chong to be the Five Mountains School's headmaster! What does everyone think of this?"
This was followed by the tender-voiced cheers of more than a hundred females. Of course they were all the female disciples of the Heng-Shan School. Ding Mian was the one who called out 'Headmaster Linghu' and gave the Peach Valley Six Fairies this topic. He couldn't help feeling embarrassed and his face was blushing furiously, not knowing what to say. He just managed to stutter, "No, no! I... I didn't.... didn't mean it that way. I'm not nominating Linghu Chong to be the Five Mountains School's headmaster..."
Peachtree Trunk Fairy cut him off. "You're saying you don't want Linghu Chong to be the Five Mountains School's headmaster because you don't want to lose the Peach Valley Six Fairies. Since you love us so much, it would be impolite for us six brothers to refuse. We have to shamely take on this position then."
Peachtree Branch Fairy said, "How about this? There's no harm for us to take on the position for one and a half year while we wait for things to settle. Then we'll step down and give this position to a better person. There's no harm in doing that." His five brothers answered together, "Right, right, this is called taking the middle road."
Zuo Lengchan coldly said, "The six of you really talk a lot here as if all the world's heroes here are nothing. Why can't you allow other people to say a few words?"
Peachtree Flower Fairy replied, "We can, we can, why not? If you want to talk, please talk. If you want to fart, then please fart." When he said these words 'If you want to fart, then please fart', everyone around the place of worship suddenly became quiet because if anyone said anything, they could be considered farting.
After some time, Zuo Lengchan again said, "Heroes, please tell us your opinions. Ignore the nonsense those six crazy people were spouting."
Peach Valley Six Fairies took a breath together and snorted a few times. Then they said, "Someone’s farting, it smells really bad."
A thin old man from the Songshan School group said loudly, "Five mountains sword schools have the same root, different branches. We've been allied together and for the last few years, Headmaster Zuo has been our chief. Headmaster Zuo has been leading the five schools for a long time now, and has increased the prestige of the five schools. So naturally, Chief Zuo is our Five Mountains School's headmaster. Who else can take on this position?" This person participated in Liu Zhengfeng's gold basin hand-washing ceremony in Hengshan, so many people recognised him as Lu Bai. Ding Mian, Lu Bai, and Fei Bin killed Liu Zhengfeng's whole family. They were really cruel and merciless.
Peachtree Flower Fairy said, "Wrong, wrong! We must elect a new headmaster for the Five Mountains School. This position of headmaster, we must get rid of the old and exchange it with a new one."
Peachtree Fruit Fairy said, "That's right. If Zuo Lengchan becomes the headmaster again, then that's like changing the form but not the content and there wouldn't be an atmosphere of new-ness. Why would you merge the five schools then?"
Peachtree Branch Fairy said, "Everyone can become the headmaster of the Five Mountains School, but Zuo Lengchan cannot."
Peachtree Trunk Fairy said, "According to my esteemed opinion, we should get everyone to take turns doing the job. A person can be a headmaster for a day. So I'll do it today, then you'll do it tomorrow. Everyone will share it and gets their turn. This is a really fair method and no one can take advantage of it. This is really good business, and everyone's happy."
Peachtree Root Fairy applauded and he said, "This method is really clever, so we should get the youngest young lady to do it first. I elect Heng-Shan School's little sister Qin Juan to be today's headmaster of the Five Mountains School."
Heng-Shan School's female disciples knew that the Peach Valley Six Fairies' statement was to make trouble for Zuo Lengchan, so they all cheered. For more than a thousand people there, this matter had nothing to do with them, so they also followed in cheering. In a moment, the Songshan mountaintop was again in chaos.
Chapter 33 Sword Fight
"Ring," the two sword tips hit each other in mid-air. Sparks flew in all direction, and the two swords both bent into arches. The two both pushed out with their left hands, and then jumped back when the two hands met.
An old priest from the Taishan School said loudly, "This position of headmaster of the Five Mountains School must be held by a senior with virtue, ability, and prestige. How can it be otherwise?" This person's voice was loud, and even those people who were in the middle of the bustling noise managed to hear it clearly.
Peachtree Branch Fairy said, "Ability, integrity, and prestige? In all of Wulin, the only person who fulfills all these requirements is Shaolin's Great Master Fangzheng." Every time the Peach Valley Six Fairies talked, everyone had laughed because no one could actually understand what they were talking about. But when they mentioned Great Master Fangzheng's name, the whole mountaintop became quiet. Great Master Fangzheng's martial art was powerful, and he was also a merciful and righteous person. He had always upheld justice in Wulin, and had also been revered by everyone for the last dozen of years. Shaolin School's reputation was flourishing, and it was also the number one school in Wulin. So when the descriptions of ‘ability, integrity, and prestige’ were used to describe Great Master Fangzheng, no one objected.
Peachtree Root Fairy shouted, "Is Shaolin temple's Abbot Fangzheng a person of ability, integrity, and prestige?"
The thousands of people there answered together, "He is!"
"Very good, since everyone agreed, Great Master Fangzheng is favoured by everyone then. Compared to the six of us, it seems Great Master Fangzheng is favoured slightly more. In that case, we'll have to invite Great Maste
r Fangzheng to become the Five Mountains School's headmaster then."
Quite a few people from Songshan School and Taishan School immediately called out, "Nonsense! Great Master Fangzheng is the headmaster of Shaolin School. What does he have to do with our Five Mountains School?"
Peachtree Branch Fairy replied, "Just now, this old priest said he wanted to invite a senior of integrity, ability, and prestige to become the headmaster, so I found one for him. Could it be Great Master Fangzheng isn't a person of ability and integrity? Could it be he has no prestige? Alas, could it be that he's not a senior in Wulin? Are you saying Great Master isn't a senior of integrity, ability, and prestige, and that he's just a lowly nobody in Wulin? What absurdity! Who had the nerve to say that? Who didn't want him to become the headmaster? Peach Valley Six Fairies will have it out with him!"
Peachtree Trunk Fairy said, "Great Master Fangzheng has been the headmaster of Shaolin School for dozens of years already. Why can't he be the headmaster of the Five Mountains School? Could it be the Five Mountains School is above Shaolin School as of today? Which crazy person has the nerve to say Great Master Fangzheng isn’t fit to be the headmaster?"
Taishan School's Yujizi scowled. "Great Master Fangzheng is a person of integrity and ability, and everyone respects him deeply. But today we're electing the headmaster of the Five Mountains School. Great Master Fangzheng is a respected guest, how can we just drag him into our matter?"
Peachtree Trunk Fairy said, "According to what you said, Great Master Fangzheng cannot be the headmaster of the Five Mountains School because Shaolin School and Five Mountains Schools are unrelated."
"Correct," Yujizi answered.
"How come Shaolin School and Five Mountains School are unrelated? I say they're greatly related! Which five schools formed the Five Mountains School?" Peachtree Trunk Fairy inquired.
"Sir, you already know, but you're still asking about it again. Five Mountains School consists of Songshan, Taishan, Huashan, Hengshan, and Heng-Shan Schools," Yujizi replied.
Peachtree Flower Fairy and Peachtree Fruit Fairy replied together, "Wrong, wrong! Just then Zuo Lengchan said that after the five mountains sword schools merged, Songshan School and Taishan School's names will no longer exist in Wulin. How come you mentioned the name of the five schools again?"
Peachtree Leaf Fairy said, "I see he's still very much attached to his school and doesn't want to forget it. Once an opportunity arises, he'll hatch a plan and destroy the Five Mountains School. Then he'll start rebuilding his Taishan School and establish its prestige again." Many people in the crowd started laughing as they thought, "These Peach Valley Six Fairies are crazily turning everything upside down. But every time someone says something slightly wrong, they immediately latched onto it and the original speakers can't do anything."
What all these people didn't know was that the Peach Valley Six Fairies had been debating endlessly since they managed to talk at around the age of two or three, and were particularly good at latching onto the mistakes in each other's speech. In the last dozens of years, they had become accustomed to doing this. Thus, it was no wonder that no one could be their match when the Peach Valley Six Fairies combined their six brains and mouths. Yujizi's face was green for a time, and red for a time. He said, "This is really one big bad luck for Five Mountains School with the six of you weirdos in it."
Peachtree Flower Fairy said, "You said the Five Mountains School is bad luck. That's really looking down at the Five Mountains School, and means that you don't want to stay inside the Five Mountains School."
Peachtree Fruit Fairy said, "This is only the first day that our Five Mountains School is opened, and yet you're already cursing it, saying that it's bad luck. In the future, the Five Mountains School will be glorious, and will stand as equals with Shaolin and Wudang. It will become a big school that everyone in Jianghu looks up to. Priest Yuji, how come you don't have a good heart and said something so ominous?"
Peachtree Leaf Fairy said, "I see Priest Yuji's body is at Five Mountains, but his heart is at Taishan, he's hoping the merger would fail and that it would break up by the end of the first day. With this kind of intention, how can the Five Mountains School accept him into the school?"
For the pugilists of Jianghu, they had always lived on the points of bloodied swords so they believed very much of things that were taboo. When everyone heard what the Peach Valley Six Fairies said, they all felt that the Peach Valley Six Fairies' words were logical. How could Yujizi said the Five Mountains School was bad luck on this auspicious day? Even Zuo Lengchan was dissatisfied at what Yujizi said. Yujizi knew he had said the wrong thing and he immediately stayed silent, while inwardly feeling angry.
Peachtree Trunk Fairy said, "I said Shaolin School and Songshan School are related, but Priest Yuji said they're unrelated. So are they related or not? Are you right or am I right?"
Priest Yuji indignantly said, "Since you love to say that they're related, we'll just say that they're related."
Peachtree Trunk Fairy said, "Ha! Matters of the world are based on logic. Which mountain is Shaolin temple on? Which mountain is Songshan School on?"
Peachtree Flower Fairy answered, "Shaolin School is on Mount Shaoshi, Songshan School is on Mount Taishi. Shaoshi and Taishi both belong to Mount Songshan, is that right? Why did you say Shaolin School and Songshan School are unrelated?"
These words they said really made sense and everyone in the crowd were nodding their heads.
Peachtree Branch Fairy said, "Just then Mr. Yue said, after schools have merged together, the number of fighting in Jianghu would decrease. It's for this reason that he approved of the merger. He also said, the merging schools will be selected based on the similarity of their skills, the closeness of their locations, and their willingness to merge. Speaking of nearness, Shaolin and Songshan are near each other, they are even together on one mountain. If Shaolin School and Songshan School don't merge, then what Mr. Yue said was a little bit like breaking... breaking... breaking some... some sort of air."
The crowd knew that he managed to hold back from saying the word 'wind', but they giggled over it. They all felt it was rather unthinkable for Shaolin and Songshan to merge, but what Peachtree Branch Fairy said was also quite reasonable, and it followed what Yue Buqun said earlier. Linghu Chong was secretly impressed, "The Peach Valley Six Fairies are experts in latching onto someone's words, but I'd never expected them to say these kinds of words. I wonder who's helping them?"
Peachtree Trunk Fairy said, "Great Master Fangzheng is in favour with the public, and originally we all wanted to invite him to become our Five Mountains School's headmaster. But someone raised the issue that Great Master Fangzheng doesn't belong to the Five Mountains School. So Shaolin and Five Mountains School must merge and become 'Shaolin Five Mountains School.' That way Great Master Fangzheng can become the new school's headmaster."
Peachtree Root Fairy said, "That's right! At the present time, there's no one who can compare to Great Master Fangzheng or more fit to become the headmaster."
Peachtree Fruit Fairy said, "We, Peach Valley Six Fairies, accept Great Master Fangzheng. Could it be there are people who don’t accept?"
Peachtree Flower Fairy said, "If there's anyone who doesn't want to accept, then there's no harm to come out and have a contest with us. Once you beat the Peach Valley Six Fairies, you might as well have a contest with Great Master Fangzheng. Once you beat Great Master Fangzheng, you might as well have a contest with all the great masters from the Da Mo Hall, Luohan Hall, Commandment Courtyard, and the Scripture Chamber. Once you beat all the great masters from the Da Mo Hall, Luohan Hall, Commandment Courtyard, and the Scripture Chamber, then you can have a contest with Priest Chongxu of Wudang..."
Peachtree Fruit Fairy interrupted, "Fifth brother, why do they have to have a contest with Wudang's Priest Chongxu?"
Peachtree Flower Fairy answered, "The two headmasters from Wudang School and Shaolin School are best friends who share weal and woe together. If some
one beat Great Master Fangzheng, how could Priest Chongxu not come out?"
Peachtree Leaf Fairy said, "That's right! You're not wrong at all! Once they beat Priest Chongxu, then they'll fight the Peach Valley Six Fairies."
Peachtree Root Fairy said, "Yi! They already fought against us, why do they have to fight us again?"
Peachtree Leaf Fairy replied, "Even if we lost the first time, how could the Peach Valley Six Fairies happily admit defeat? We'll naturally dispute this with those smelly bastards again."
The crowd was laughing madly listening to the six brothers talking back and forth. There were some who were disagreeing with them, and there were some who were calling out and following them. Yujizi was extremely mad and couldn't hold it back anymore. He flew forward with his sword in his hand and called out, "Peach Valley Six Weirdos, Yujizi doesn't accept and wants to fight with you."
Peachtree Root Fairy said, "We're all from the Five Mountains School, how can we be killing each other?"
"You talk too much. The gods detest it and the ghosts loathe it! Once we get rid of the six of you from the Five Mountains School, our eyes will see clearer and our ears will hear better," Yujizi replied.
Peachtree Trunk Fairy said, "Alright, you have a sword in hand and murder in your heart. Are you thinking of using your sword to chop chop chop chop chop chop our six heads?"
Yujizi snorted and ignored him, but his eyes were full of murderous intention. Peachtree Branch Fairy said, "Today is the merger of our five schools. If on the first day, your Taishan School kill six masters from the Heng-Shan School, how can the Five Mountains School cooperate after today? How can we still work together?"
Yujizi thought that these words sounded logical. If he killed these six people today, then there would be endless fighting as there would certainly be someone from Heng-Shan School who would seek revenge for them. He immediately restrained his anger and said, "Since you already know that we should work together, then stop hindering this big matter with your nonsense, and stop talking." He took his long sword a foot out of the scabbard then slammed it back in.