Smiling Proud Wanderer Vol 04

by Jin Yong

  Linghu Chong was startled and thought, "She said I don't listen to what other people said. What did she mean by that? Is she pretending, or she really doesn't recognise me?" He also thought that because Yilin had never jested with him, it was more likely that she didn't recognise him. Then he saw her turning north and gradually going towards the Porcelain Oven Pass. After going around a level area in the mountain, they arrived besides a small creek.

  Yilin said, softly, "We always talk here. Are you sick of my voice?" She giggled gently and went on, "You never listen to what I say. Mute Granny, if you can really listen to what I say, I wouldn't talk to you anymore."

  Yilin said this so sincerely that Linghu Chong knew she only recognised him as the Mute Granny living on the Hanging Temple. His childlike heart was roused as he thought, "I'll just play along and see what she has to say."

  Yilin led him by his sleeve towards a big rock underneath a big willow tree, and sat down. Linghu Chong also sat down with his body leaning to the side and the moon behind him so Yilin couldn't take a look at his face. He thought, "Is my disguise really that good that even Yilin is fooled? It must be because it's night so it's not easy for her to recognise me. Yingying's appearance changing technique is pretty good."

  Yilin gazed up at the moon and sighed. Linghu Chong desperately wanted to ask, "You're still so young, why do you have so much to worry about?" But at the end, he didn't say it out loud.

  Yilin said gently, "Mute Granny, you're really good. I often pull you aside to tell you what I'm thinking, but you're never annoyed. You always listen patiently to what I have to say. I shouldn't have bothered you in the first place, but you treat me so nicely just like my own mother. I don't have a mother; if I do have a mother, would I dare to talk like this with her?"

  Linghu Chong realized she was going to pour her heart out and thought it was inappropriate for him to hear it. He thought, "What kind of matter is she going to talk about? I'm deceiving her to reveal her innermost secret. I feel really apologetic to her. I should just quickly go." He immediately stood up.

  Yilin pulled on his sleeve. "Mute Granny, you... you want to go?" Her voice sounded really disappointed. Linghu Chong took a glance at her and saw her face looking sad and her eyes looking like she was begging him to stay. His heart turned soft and he thought, "Little martial sister looks melancholy and she has a lot of things on her mind. If she had nowhere to vent them then they'll always be in her heart and she might become sick. I just need to listen to what she has to say and don't let her know that it's me; then she wouldn't be bashful." He slowly sat back down.

  Yilin hugged his neck. "Mute Granny, how good of you to accompany me for a while. You don't know I have a lot of things in my mind."

  Linghu Chong thought, "In my whole life, Linghu Chong is fated to cross paths with grannies. Earlier with Yingying, I mistakenly took her for a granny. Now, Yilin mistakenly take me for a granny. I called someone else a granny for a few hundred times, now she's calling me granny. It can be said that a good person also gets a good repayment."

  Yilin said, "Today, my father nearly hanged himself to death. Do you know that? He was hung on a tree and a paper was put up on him, saying that he's 'World's number one heartless, perverted and lascivious man'. In his whole life, my father only has my mother in his heart. So how can they say he's a pervert? That person must've been confused. He must've wanted to hang that paper on Tian Boguang's body but he wrongly hung it on my father. Actually, it's not a big deal that it's mistakenly hung; just swap them. There's no need to hang himself for that."

  Linghu Chong was startled but he also found this funny. "How can she say Great Master No Commandment wanted to commit suicide? She said he was nearly hanged to death, so he obviously didn't die. The words written on those two papers aren't good words, so once they're taken down, why would you put them up on themselves again? This little martial sister is really naive, she really doesn't understand how things work in the real world."

  Yilin continued, "Tian Boguang hurried up to Xianxing Peak wanting to speak to me, but he met martial sister Yihe instead. She said he came up Xianxing Peak without permission, so without asking, she attacked with her sword and he almost lost his life. That was really dangerous."

  Linghu Chong thought, "I once said that the men from the Other Courtyard must not go up Xianxing Peak without my permission. Brother Tian's reputation isn't good and martial sister Yihe is quick to anger, so once she saw him there, of course she'll use her sword to attack. But, Brother Tian's martial art is much higher than her so Yihe was unable to kill him." He was just about to nod his head agreeing to her when he quickly thought, "No matter what she said, whether I agree or not, I mustn't nod or shake my head. That Mute Granny wouldn't have been able to hear to what she has to say."

  Yilin went on, "When Tian Boguang finally told her everything, martial sister Yihe had slashed about seventeen to eighteen moves. Luckily she held back and didn't really kill him. Once I received the news, I quickly went to Tong Yuan Valley. But I didn't see my father. I asked some people, but they all said he was inside the courtyard crying and making a lot of noise before. He was really in a fit of anger and no one dared to talk to him. They didn't see him after that. I went around the Tong Yuan Valley trying to look for him, and finally I found him at the back of the mountain hanging high from a tree. I was really worried and quickly took him down from the tree. I saw there was a rope around his neck and it was cutting off his airway. It was really a blessing from Buddha that I arrived there in time. I helped and roused him up, then he cried hugging me. I saw there was a paper hanging on his neck, there were words written on it saying something like 'World's number one heartless man'. I said to him: 'Dad, this person is really terrible. He hung you up before, and now he hanged you. He also put up the wrong paper and didn't swap it.' My father was half crying and half saying to me: 'No one hanged me, I hanged myself. I... I don't want to live anymore.' I told him: 'Dad, that person must've suddenly sneaked an attack on you so you fell into his trap; so there's no need to be sad. Let's find and talk to him. If what he said isn't right, then we'll hang him up on a tree and put this paper around his neck.' Dad said: 'This paper is mine. How can you hang it on other people? World's number one heartless, perverted and lascivious man, this is Monk No Commandment. How can other people exceed me in this? Child, you're speaking blindly.' Mute Granny, when I heard him said this, I found it really strange so I asked him: 'Dad, this paper wasn't wrongly hung?' Dad replied: 'Of course not. I... I wronged your mother, that's why I wanted to hang myself. You don't need to worry about me, I really don't want to live anymore.'"

  Linghu Chong remembered Monk No Commandment had mentioned to him before that he loved Yilin's mother because she was a nun. So he became a monk because of her. Monk marrying a nun, it was really a rare and strange thing. He said that he had wronged Yilin's mother; it must be because he loved another woman later on and that was why he had admitted to being a 'heartless, perverted and depraved man'. As he thought till here, he slowly came to understand some of these things.

  Yilin said, "When I saw dad cried miserably, I also cried. Dad then advised me: 'Good child, don't cry, don't cry. If dad dies, you'll be all alone in this world. Who would take care of you?' When he said that, I cried even harder." She said until here when beads of tears dropped from her eyes. She looked really sad as she went on, "Dad said: 'Alright, alright! I won't die, but I'm really sorry about your mother.' I asked: 'How did you wrong Mother?' Dad sighed and said: 'Your mother was originally a nun, you already know about this. When I first saw your mother, I immediately fell in love with her and wanted to take her to be my wife, no matter what. Your mother said: 'Amituofo, thinking of this kind of thing, you're also not afraid of Buddha.' I said: 'If Buddha wants to blame someone, then he can blame me.' Your mother said: 'You're a lay person, it's natural for you to take a wife. My body has already been pledged to Buddhism, and I'm free from wordly desires. If I'm to be moved by worldly desires, Buddha will of course bl
ame me. How can Buddha blame you?' I thought what she said wasn't wrong. It was me who has made up my mind to marry your mother, not your mother who wanted to marry me. How can I let Buddha blame her and put her in hell when she dies? How can I let that happen to her? That's why I went on to become a monk. Of course Buddha will blame me. If we're sent to hell then we'll go together as husband and wife.'"

  Linghu Chong thought, "Great Master No Commandment is really the passionate type. He became a monk just to bear the Buddha's blame. Since he's so committed, I wonder how his heart could have changed?"

  Yilin continued, "Then I asked dad: 'Did you marry mother afterwards?' Dad answered: 'Of course I did. If not, how did we get you? I shouldn't have done that, I shouldn't have. That day you were just three months old, and I was just carrying you outside the door for some sun.' I said: 'What's wrong with getting some sun?' Dad said: 'As luck would have it, at that time, there was a good looking madam riding past the door. She saw a big monk carrying a little baby and felt it was weird. After a few glances, she praised: 'What a beautiful baby!' I felt really happy and said: 'You're also very beautiful.' That madam stared at me and asked: 'Where did you steal this baby girl from?' I said: 'What do you mean steal? She's my own baby.' That madam suddenly threw a tantrum and scolded: 'I'm asking you nicely, but you keep on teasing me. Are you tired of living?' I said: 'How did I tease you? Aren't monks people? Can't we have child? If you don't believe me, then let me give you a look.' Who could've thought that lady was so fierce, she took out the long sword slung at her back and stabbed it at me. Isn't that very unreasonable?'"

  Linghu Chong thought, "Great Master No Commandment speaks frankly and everything he says are always the truth. But when other people hear it, his words become nonsense teasing. Since he's already taken a wife and gotten a baby, why didn't he turn back to be a secular man? It's neither fish nor fowl for a big monk to be carrying a little baby girl."

  Yilin went on, "I said: 'This madam was too fierce. I was clearly yours, and you didn't deceive her. What was she doing stabbing a sword at you?' Dad said: 'Yes, at that time, I quickly dodged and said: 'What are you doing indiscriminately chopping your sword for? If this baby girl isn't mine, then is she yours?' That madam got even angrier and stabbed three times. She didn't manage to hit me with her sword so she thrust out even faster. Of course I wasn't afraid of her, but I was afraid she might hurt you. When she stabbed out for the eighth time, I kicked out at her and sent her somersaulting. She stopped and scolded me: 'What a shameless monk, disgraceful and nasty person, sexually harassing a lady.' It was at this time when your mother returned from the river bank after washing the clothes and she stood on the side to listen. That madam scolded me a few more times before she angrily got on her horse and rode away. She didn't even pick up the sword she dropped on the ground. I turned my head around to talk to your mother. She didn't even reply a single word I said, but she just stood there weeping. I asked her what's the matter but she just ignored me. The morning of the next day, your mother was gone. There was a paper on the table and there were five words written on it. Can you guess what they were? They were 'Heartless man, perverted and lascivious'. I carried you everywhere to look for her, but I didn't find her.'

  I said: 'Mother heard what that madam said and she believed that you really sexually harassed her.' Dad said: 'You're right, wasn't that an injustice? But later on, I thought about it and believed not all of it was injustice. Because when I saw that madam, my heart was thinking: 'This lady is good looking.' Think about it. I was already married to your mother, but my heart was still praising another woman to be pretty. Not only praising in my heart, my mouth was praising her too. Isn't that a heartless, perverted and lascivious man?'"

  Linghu Chong thought, "So martial sister Yilin's mother was very jealous. Of course, this was a big misunderstanding, but wouldn't everything be alright after talking about it?"

  Yilin continued, "I said: 'Did you find mother afterwards?' Dad said: 'I looked for her everywhere, but where can I find her? Your mother was a nun, so I thought she would go to a convent, so I looked in every convent. One day, I found the White Cloud Convent of Heng-Shan School. Your master Dingyi Shi Tai saw you to be very cute and she really liked you. You were also sick at that time so she told me to foster you to the Convent, so I didn't have to bring you running around and endanger your little life.'" At the mention of Dingyi Shi Tai, Yilin couldn't help crying and she said, "Since I was small, I've had no mother and Master raised me up, but Master was killed by someone, and the person who killed Master was Big Brother Linghu's Master. You see how difficult this is. Big Brother Linghu is just like me, he's had no mother since he was small and his Master raised him. But his life is even more bitter than me, not only mother, he doesn't have a father as well. So of course he respects and loves his Master. If I kill his Master then I'll get my revenge, but Big Brother Linghu will be very sad. My dad also said: after he fostered me at the White Cloud Convent, he looked in every convent in the world. Later on, he went to Mongolia, Tibet, the frontiers, the western region, he even looked around in the poorest area. But in all that time, he didn't hear a single word of my mother. Thinking about it, my mother must've blamed my mother for sexually harassing that lady, so she committed suicide the next day. Mute Granny, when my mother became a Buddhist, she swore an oath in front of Buddha that after she entered Buddhism, she would no longer be involved in worldly desires. But in the end, she relented to father and married him. She hadn't given birth to me for long when she saw him sexually harassing a woman and got himself scolded as a 'disgraceful and nasty person', so of course she got angry. Her personality was very strong so what she believed was wrong, was wrong. So she was forced to commit suicide."

  Yilin let out a long sigh and continued, "When my father explained these things, I then understood why when he saw those words 'World's number one heartless, perverted and lascivious man', he became really sad. I said: 'When mother wrote those words to scold you, did you give other people a look?' Dad said: 'Of course not! I didn't even tell anyone about it. Is it honourable to tell of these kinds of things? There's something fishy here, I think it must be your mother's ghost who has found me. She seeks revenge on me for blemishing her clean reputation and sexually harassing another woman. Otherwise, how come only these eight words were written on the paper and there was nothing else on it? I know she wants my life, very good, I'm going to go with her.'

  "Dad also said: 'When I couldn't find your mother, I really wished to join her in the afterworld. It's a pity I was too heavy. The rope broke after I was hanging up there for some time. I tried a second time but the rope broke again. Then I thought of getting my sabre to cut my neck. I knew for certain that sabre was on my waist, but suddenly it wasn't there. It's really not easy to die.' I said: 'Dad, you're wrong. Buddha told us not to take our own lives, that's why the rope broke and you couldn't find your sabre. Otherwise, you would've been dead when I got here.' Dad said: 'That's also good, it's most likely that Buddha is punishing me to stay in this world to receive more bitterness and not letting me to go to the afterworld so quick to see your mother.' I said: 'I thought at first that the papers on Tian Boguang and you were wrongly hanged on each other, and that was the reason why you threw a tantrum.' Dad said: 'How can they be wrongly hanged? Cannot Have No Commandment was rude to you in the beginning, isn't that called 'unseemly behaviour'? I told him to be a matchmaker to make that Linghu Chong marry you, but he always failed, isn't that called 'doing things half heartedly'? Those eight words really suit him.' I said: 'Dad, if you tell Tian Boguang to do that nonsense again, I'm going to get angry. Big brother Linghu liked his little martial sister before, now he likes the young lady Ren from the Devil Sect. Even though he treats me well, he's never put me in his heart.'"

  When Linghu Chong heard Yilin said this, he felt quite apologetic toward her. She treated him in such a sentimental manner, but he had never felt it in the beginning, and it was only recently that he gradually understood her feeling. Bu
t his real feeling was said clearly by her, he first loved little martial sister and now he loved Yingying with all his heart. During the time he travelled around Jianghu, he also rarely thought of Yilin.

  Yilin said, "When dad heard me said this, he got angry and scolded big brother Linghu, he said: 'That Linghu Chong, he has eyes but he can't see, he's even worse than Cannot Have No Commandment. Cannot Have No Commandment can still see my daughter is beautiful, but Linghu Chong is the world's number one idiot.' He scolded him with so many vulgar words, they're really terrible to hear, and I also can't repeat them. He said: 'Who's the world's number one blind man? It's not Zuo Lengchan, it's Linghu Chong. Even when Zuo Lengchan's eyes are blinded, Linghu Chong is still blinder than he is.' Mute Granny, dad is very wrong to say these things, how can he scold big brother Linghu like that? I said: 'Dad, Miss Yue and young lady Ren are a hundred times more beautiful than me, how can I be better than them? Also, I've already entered Buddhism, but I still appreciate big brother Linghu risking his life to save me and helping my master. I still think about him sometimes. My mother was right, after you enter Buddhism, you should be free of wordly desires. If we're not free of those things then Buddha will punish us.'

  "Dad said: 'Once you enter Buddhism, why aren't you allowed to marry? If all the women in the world entered Buddhism and they didn't marry, then there'll be no one in this world. Your mother is a nun, didn't she marry me, and didn't she give birth to you?' I said: 'Dad, let's not talk about this. I... I'd rather that mother didn't give birth to me.'" She said till here when her voice became choking. After some time, she again said, "Dad said, he's definitely going to find big brother Linghu and tell him to marry me. I was really worried, I said to him if he mentioned this to big brother Linghu, then I'll never talk to him ever again, and when he comes to Xianxing Peak, I won't see him. If Tian Boguang says this kind of nonsense thing to big brother Linghu, then I'll talk to martial sisters Yiqing and Yihe and not allow him to step foot on Mount Heng-Shan ever again. Dad knows I can get what I said so he was dumbfounded for a time. Then he just sighed and walked away. Mute Granny, dad went just like that, I wonder when I can see him again? I also don't know whether he's going to commit suicide again? He's really making me worried. I found Tian Boguang after that and told him to go with dad and take care of him. After I finished speaking to him, I saw so many people sneaking around going outside of Tong Yuan Valley then hiding inside the underbrush. I don't know what they were doing. So I quietly followed them to have a look, but I saw you instead. Mute Granny, you don't know martial art and you also can't hear anything. It was very dangerous for you to hide in the underbrush, especially if someone sees you there. You should never go with other people to hide in the underbrush anymore. Did you think they were playing hide-and-seek?"