by S. J. West
“It might be easier for you to understand if I showed you an example of what arrogant power can lead to.”
I found myself standing in a completely white space. I looked around and said, “What is this place?”
“Heaven.”
“But I don’t see anything.”
“Heaven is different for everyone. It’s whatever they make it into. When you die, you’ll understand. But right now, I’m going to show you what happened here to tear my children apart.”
“When Uriel came to speak with me, I wasn’t able to see him clearly because I’m only half angel. Will I be able to see what you want to show me?”
“Give me your hand.”
I placed my hand into his and felt a tiny spark.
God smiled. “Your vision of Heaven and angels is beautiful, Lilly. I will show you things in the way you see them so you can fully understand.”
I found myself transported to the top of a small hill. The earth beneath my feet was hard packed and reddish in color. A solitary tree, bare of leaves, stood in front of me and two male figures with a pair of large white wings on their backs were staring into the flames. One was lounged casually against a large boulder while the other sat crouched before the fire.
“You look troubled, my friend,” the angel sitting against the rock said.
The other angel looked across the fire at his companion.
“I don’t understand why he loves these vile humans of his more than he does us, Michael. We are his first-born. We should be the ones who garner his favor.”
I stared at the angel by the rock realizing I was looking at my father for the first time in my life. Even though I knew God had transformed the scene to meet my expectations of how I thought they should look, I felt myself start to tremble at the sight of Michael.
“How can you say he loves them more than us?” My father asked. “He loves us all.”
“How can you sit there and say that he loves us when he’s asked us to bow down to them like servants?” Lucifer sprang to his feet, wings spread out. Pacing agitatedly before the fire, he continued, “Why do we have to spend an eternity working to keep his precious humans safe?”
Michael studied Lucifer silently as if considering his friends words carefully.
“You should not question His orders, Lucifer. You know, as well as I, that He sees beyond what we know. He always has good reasons for the things He asks us to do.”
“I don’t think He realizes His mistake,” Lucifer tightened his hands into fists at his sides. “I’m tired of being a servant to those things. They should be serving us not the other way around!”
Michael looked at Lucifer warily. “What are your intentions, Lucifer?”
Lucifer’s eyes narrowed to pinpoints in the firelight. “I intend to find out who He loves most. The humans are like a disease. They should be taken care of now before they are allowed to evolve any further. You know that given enough time they will corrupt everything He has created.”
“You can’t know that!” Michael yelled back standing to face Lucifer’s wrath. “Do you think yourself better than our father? Do you find that your wisdom has expanded so much that you, Lucifer-first of the arch angels, knows more than the one who made you?”
“Where the human’s are concerned? Yes, I believe I know them better than He does. We’re the ones who have to spend time down here among them! We know what they are capable of better than anyone!”
Taking a steadying breath, Michael calmly said, “I don’t want to lose you, old friend. Not like this. Please think about what you’re saying before you make a rash decision.”
“Join me Michael,” Lucifer urged. “I’m not the only one who feels this way. If we all band together, we can force Him to change His mind.”
“I can’t join you, Lucifer,” Michael sighed. “Even if I thought you were right, I couldn’t turn my back on our father.”
“Fine,” Lucifer gritted out through clenched teeth. “But heed my warning to you, Michael, if you try to get in my way, I won’t hesitate to destroy you.”
God let go of my hand and we were back in the white space.
“So the war in Heaven started because Lucifer wanted you to destroy humanity?”
“Lucifer’s pride has always been his weakness. He was too proud to do what I asked him to do. He always felt I loved humans more, and I couldn’t seem to do anything to convince him he was wrong. I love all my children equally. Angels were the first of my creations and I felt they had the most to share, like a parent to a child. Lucifer just didn’t see it that way. After the battle in Heaven, I convinced him to stop the fighting so we could talk things through. I hoped to give him one more chance.”
God took my hand again and said, “We all gathered in the Hall of Angels.”
A vision of such a place flashed in my mind and God smiled. “Quite pretty, Lilly” he said before transforming my surroundings into the place in my mind.
Lucifer was pacing in front of God who was sitting on a golden throne. Seven angels stood on either side of him like a holy protectorate.
“It’s time you made a choice,” Lucifer said. “Either you prove we mean more to you by destroying the humans or we will rain fire on their world and destroy them ourselves!”
Lucifer turned to the angels standing behind him in the gilded white marble coliseum, raising his arms urging them to show their support of his demand. Half of the angels cheered him on. The other half remained stoically silent.
“You are asking the impossible, Lucifer,” God said, weariness in his voice. “They are the first of their kind, as are you. Asking me to destroy them would be like asking me to destroy you.”
Lucifer angrily rushed up to God’s throne with wings flared out. He gripped the thrones arms tightly and pushed his face in close to God’s.
“Why do you love them more than me?” Lucifer questioned quietly, searching his father’s eyes for an answer. “Haven’t I done everything you ever asked of me? Why do you refuse the only thing I’ve ever asked of you?”
God raised one of his hands and gently touched the side of Lucifer’s face. Lucifer’s eyes closed and his wings lowered at the show of affection.
“My love for you has no limits,” God said, looking at Lucifer like a father knowing he is about to lose his child. “But I will not do what you ask of me.” Lowering his hand back to his lap, God said, “If you are determined to continue on this path, I have no other choice but to banish you and your followers from my sight.”
Lucifer’s eyes opened, drenched in madness. “You would forsake us for those things?” Lucifer hissed. “How can you choose them over me?”
“I love you all, Lucifer. But do not test my patience,” God warned. “I will not destroy those precious to me for the sake of your bruised vanity.”
“Well, if you won’t destroy them,” Lucifer angrily pushed himself away from God, turning his back on his father. “We will!”
Lucifer stepped away from God’s throne, seeming intent on returning to the world of humans to wreck as much havoc as he could.
All of a sudden, Lucifer fell to his knees and cried out in agony as his wings were ripped from their sockets by an unseen force. Blood poured from the freshly opened wounds. Cries of pain came from the congregation of angels and I watched as almost half of them fell to their knees, their wings were torn from their bodies. Lucifer lifted his head and watched as the angels who cheered him on earlier now found themselves doomed to the same fate as him. The blood of the fallen soon covered the hallowed floors of Heaven.
God slowly stood from his throne. “From this day forward, Lucifer and those who followed him into battle are banished from our presence. They will live on Earth with the humans until such time as I see fit.”
God looked to Michael standing beside him and ordered, “Take them to the world below. Perhaps in time they will learn to accept my children there.”
I watched my father as he gently lifted Lucifer into his arms and did as God
instructed.
Cradled in Michael’s arms, Lucifer remained silent. I had to wonder if the pained expression on Lucifer’s face was physical or emotional.
Michael phased to a soft patch of grassy earth and gently laid Lucifer’s prone body upon it. Kneeling behind his friend, Michael placed his hands on the open wounds and healed them.
“In time He may forgive you, Lucifer,” Michael said. “You should not have tested His patience like that.”
Lucifer remained silent. Finally, he lifted his torso with his arms but refused to look back at Michael.
“Leave me, Michael. I don’t want your pity. Go back to your God.”
Michael took a step towards Lucifer reaching his hand out as if to console his friend.
“Go!” Lucifer ordered.
Michael brought his hand back to his side and disappeared. The pain of loss I saw on my father’s face made me want to reach out and console him.
God let me go of my hand, and I was standing back in my house in Colorado.
“Sometimes power can lead you to down the wrong path,” God said. “It can blind you to the needs of others and distract you from your real purpose.”
“Is it wrong of me not to feel guilt over Robert’s death?”
“Yes.”
I felt my heart sink.
“You should always pity those who lost their way like Robert did. I know what he tried to do to you was wrong and that you were only defending yourself against his actions. But, you should not take joy is taking the life of another, no matter how much they might have deserved it. If you decide to go down the path of vengeance, all will be lost, Lilly. It is only your great love for those around you which will save you.”
God took my hand again.
“I have a wedding gift for you,” he said, turning to look at the set of stairs just outside the living room which led to the second floor.
I followed his gaze and found my daughter standing on the stairs dressed in a pink princess costume with a rhinestone crown perched precariously on top of her head.
“Come play with me, Mommy.”
My free hand flew to my mouth as tears clouded my vision and stung my eyes.
“How is that a gift?” I questioned, my throat tight from trying not to cry. “You know I can’t have a child with Brand and survive the birth.”
“Have faith, Lilly,” God said to me. “Have faith in the love you and Brand have for one another. It will protect you when the time comes.”
“Protect me from what?” I asked, dragging my eyes away from the vision of my daughter.
But God was already gone.
Chapter 8“Lilly, wake up!”
When I opened my eyes, Tara was shaking my shoulders.
“You were crying in your sleep,” she told me. “It’s your wedding day. You shouldn’t start it out crying.”
I wiped the tears from my face and sat up.
“Is it morning already?” I asked, feeling like I hadn’t gotten any sleep during my time with God.
Tara smiled. “Yep. Now get out of bed, sleepy head. We’ve got a lot to do before you can walk down that isle and marry Prince Charming.”
A lot to do was right. After taking showers at Tara’s house, I phased us over to Malcolm’s because apparently it was going to take an army to make me presentable that day. If I had been a lesser person, I guess I would have taken offense to the amount of work my friends deemed necessary to transform me into the perfect bride. As it was, I just let them pamper me into perfection.
Tara placed Malcolm in charge of my hair which completely tickled me. She would never have passed the reins down so readily if she wasn’t one hundred and twenty percent positive he would do a better job than her. Malcolm decided my hair should go up since I would be wearing a veil.
Tara of course did my make-up. You would have thought she was painting the Sistine Chapel the way she would stop and survey her work before continuing. I’m pretty sure I was poked and prodded at for over two hours. Once they got through with me, my friends got themselves ready.
Tara had to wear a red scarf to cover her still healing wound, but it didn’t distract from how beautiful she looked in her red, slim fitting mermaid style dress with half capped sleeves and a shimmering crystal brooch in the shape of a leaf attached to the left side of the bodice.
Tara and Abby helped me get into my wedding dress. I heard Tara sniff when she put the veil on my head.
“Don’t you dare cry,” I told her. “If you start crying, I’ll start to cry.”
“Oh no you don’t, Lilly Rayne Nightengale,” Tara placed a hand over her mouth, tears still in her eyes. “That might be the last time I get to call you that,” she realized.
“Lilly Rayne Cole,” I said out loud. “Doesn’t quite pack the same punch, does it?”
Tara shook her head. “Just ‘cause your marrying him doesn’t necessarily mean you have to take his name. It’s the twenty first century, not the middle ages.”
“Well, let’s just get me married first. Then we’ll worry about the semantics.”
Instead of taking cars, I decided we should just all phase to the church. There would be so many people present I didn’t think anyone would notice one way or the other.
Utha Mae had warned me when I first told her I planned to marry Brand sooner rather than later that she wanted to invite a few of her friends. I just didn’t realize she was going to invite everyone in the county plus a few in the neighboring one. I did know a lot of them but there were a lot I didn’t know too. All in all there were supposed to be two-hundred people at the wedding. In lieu of gifts, we asked people to donate to their favorite charity.
We phased into one of the churches Sunday school rooms. It had been outfitted with some chairs and a full length mirror for me to use.
“I’ll go see if your mother and Utha Mae are here,” Malcolm offered, stepping out of the room.
“Lilly,” Abby said, coming up to me. She was dressed in a similar red dress to the one Tara wore. “We all divided up the ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’. I picked the borrowed.” From Abby’s little black hand bag she pulled out a short strand of white pearls.
“Thank you,” I said to her while she put the necklace on me.
“They belonged to my mother,” Abby said with a sad smile. “I think she would be really happy Dad found someone to share his heart with again. He’s been so lonely all these years. I’m just happy he finally let someone in.”
I hugged Abby and said, “Thank you for making me a part of your family.”
My mother and Utha Mae stepped into the room. The smile on my mother’s face made me wish I had a camera in my hands to keep the picture forever.
“Oh sweetie, you look beautiful.”
Utha Mae reached into her handbag and pulled out two tissues: one for her and one for my mom.
“Take it Cora,” Utha Mae said, “you know we’re gonna need it.”
“Is it my turn yet?” Malcolm asked, coming into the room after them.
“I gave her something borrowed,” Abby told him.
With a smile, Malcolm put his hand inside the inner pocket of his coat and pulled out a blue garter belt.
I just rolled my eyes at him. “I should have seen that one coming,” I laughed.
Tara and Abby helped me hold my dress up while Malcolm knelt and slid the garter belt up my left leg to mid thigh.
Malcolm sighed. “Would you like it higher, dearest?”
I laughed. “No, that’s quite high enough.”
Malcolm stood up and kissed me on the cheek. “I truly am happy for you, even if you chose the other guy.”
“Thank you for being here,” I told him. “You’ll never know how much it means to me.”
“I think I do,” Malcolm replied, trying to smile. “And if he doesn’t make you happy, you know where to find me.”
All of a sudden, Malcolm let out a yelp and started to rub the back of his head. When he turned around,
I saw Utha Mae standing behind him holding her purse like a billy club.
“No talk like that,” Utha Mae told him sternly. “Lilly’s made her choice just like I did when I married my Harry. Now move on over, I have something old I need to give my baby.”
Utha Mae stood in front of me. “I hope you know how proud I am of you, baby. I told them I wanted to give you something old.” Utha Mae opened her purse and brought out a silver bracelet with a heart shaped charm attached to one of the rings.
“My Harry gave me this on our wedding day. Every year he would add another charm to it to mark something special in our lives. I took off all the charms except for this one because that’s how he first gave it to me. Now you tell Brand he has to add on to it for you during your life together so you can remember all the special moments when you get to be as old as me.”
With age trembling hands, Utha Mae put the bracelet around my right wrist. I hugged her close afterwards.
“Thank you, Utha Mae.”
“We just figured the dress would count as something new,” Tara told me. “So don’t expect anymore surprises.”
“I won’t,” I told her.
There was only one thing, or person, who could make the day anymore complete and I knew I would just have to forget about Will coming to wish me luck in my new life with Brand. It made me sad that I wouldn’t be able to share one of the happiest days of my life with my best friend but knew his feelings for me would prevent it.
Finally, it was time for the ceremony to begin. Malcolm and I stood at the front of the church behind the closed doors leading into the sanctuary. I held my bouquet of red roses, white calla lilies, and red holly berries in one hand while Malcolm held my other hand in the crook of his arm. Just as the wedding march began to play and the doors to the sanctuary opened, I felt a light touch on my left shoulder. When I turned to see who it was, Will came to stand on the other side of me, offering his arm.
With no times for words, I took his arm and let the other two men in my life walk me down the red rose petal strewn isle, both giving me their blessing to marry the man of my dreams.