by S. J. West
“Are he and your mother back from Vegas yet?” Brand asked.
“I’m not sure.”
“Try to call her and arrange a night where we can take them out to dinner. It’ll give us a good excuse to meet with them without him being too suspicious of our motives. We need to catch him off guard to truly test the rings affect on him.”
Chapter 13My mom wasn’t back from Vegas yet, but we did arrange to have diner with them that following Monday.
“I have some wonderful news for you,” my mother said to me over the phone, sounding happier than I had ever heard her sound before. “But I’ll wait until I see you to tell you what’s happened.”
When I got off the phone with my mom, I told Brand what she had said.
“I’m worried,” I confessed. “What do you think he’s done to her? Can he brainwash people? She’s never sounded that happy before.”
“I know you haven’t had the best relationship with your mother in the past, but just because she’s acting happy doesn’t mean Lucifer is influencing her more than he would any other human. He can’t make people do what he wants unless he’s possessed them. Whatever he is making her feel is genuinely making her happy.”
“But isn’t that reason enough to be worried?” I felt on the edge of hysterics. “You and I both know this can’t end well for her. She’s going to get her heart broken one way or the other.”
“Then let her enjoy the happiness she thinks she has for however long it lasts. All you can do is be there to help her pick up the pieces afterwards.”
I pulled Brand in close to me. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Well, that’s something you will never have to worry about. I will always be with you.”
As I stood close to Brand, feeling his love like a physical bond between the two of us, I decided it was time to tell him about my touch.
“I learned something about my power when I was with Mason,” I said, pulling away from Brand slightly.
“What was that, my love?”
I raised my hand, now lit with the fire of my power.
“He called it the Touch,” I said. “He said I was a conduit between God and whoever I touched, that you could feel what God feels for you from it.”
Brand looked at my hand and took a step back. The cautious way he stared at it told me he wasn’t sure he wanted to know exactly what God thought of him. Like all the Watchers, Brand still held the guilt of his sin in his heart. Even though he had spent his life here on Earth trying to be the best person he could, Brand wasn’t sure it was enough to atone for going against God’s law.
Taking a deep breath, Brand nodded his head, giving me permission to touch him, to finally let him know where he stood with God.
I reached out and cupped the side of his face with my hand. Brand closed his eyes as he took in a sharp breath and fell to his knees in front of me. When he looked back up at me, I saw the shimmer of tears in his eyes.
“How could He…” he started to say.
I let the fire fade and knelt in front of Brand.
“How could He what?”
“How could He still love me?”
“How could He not?” I asked in return.
Brand pulled me into his arms. “Thank you, my love. Thank you for sharing that with me.”
I felt Brand’s shoulders shake slightly and knew he was crying. I held my husband close and for the first time felt thankful for the power my father had passed on to me.
The next day I asked Malcolm to go to Utha Mae’s with me. When I told him about our plans to build her a house beside ours, he was like a kid given carte blanche to a candy store.
Brand wasn’t able to go with us because Isaiah called on him to help give Mason’s message about the gathering to all the Watchers he knew.
“So you’re ok with me being with Malcolm alone?” I said.
“Of course I am. He won’t do anything you don’t allow him to.”
The gnawing guilt of Brand not knowing everything which happened on the day I spent with Malcolm felt like it would literally split me in two.
“I have to tell you something,” I finally said, gaining Brand’s full attention.
“You know you can tell me anything,” he replied, leaning his back against the kitchen island as he waited patiently for me to continue.
“I know you said you didn’t need to know the details about that day I spent with Malcolm, but I need you to know. I need you to know what I did.”
Brand crossed his arms over his chest as if preparing himself for what I was about to say. “If you feel like you need to tell me and if it would make you feel better, I’ll try to listen with an open mind.”
“I let Malcolm kiss me,” I confessed.
Brand’s eyebrows lowered. He was silent for a while as if measuring his next words to me carefully.
“Did you enjoy it?” He asked.
It would have been so easy to lie to him but that really wasn’t the point of my confession. If I was going to finally purge myself of guilt, I had to be completely honest even if it hurt us both.
“Yes,” I admitted, without trying to make excuses for myself.
“And was this just one kiss?”
If at all possible, I felt my heart sink even lower with his question.
“Two,” I said. “But the last one was more of a way to say goodbye to his feelings for me.”
Brand’s chin lowered closer to his chest as he thought about what I told him.
“Do you plan to let it happen again?” He questioned tersely.
“No, of course not.” I shook my head to emphasize the point. “I shouldn’t have let it happen the first time.”
“Then why did you?” Brand asked, finally looking back up at me. The hurt I saw in his eyes from my betrayal cut me to the quick.
“I wanted to know what it would feel like,” I replied, knowing how lame my reasoning sounded even to my own ears but not having a better answer to give him.
“And what did you think? Was it as good as you dreamed it would be?”
I could see Brand’s hurt quickly turning to anger and felt helpless to stop it.
“Please,” I begged. “Don’t make me regret telling you the truth. You have to know how much I love you. There’s no one else in the world for me but you. I made a stupid mistake, and I’m sorry for it. Please don’t let this come between us. I don’t think I could go on if you stayed mad at me.”
Brand’s pose relaxed a bit. “I’m not exactly angry at you, more like disappointed in you, Lilly. I never thought you would let him do something like that. But, I can’t let you take all the blame. I pushed you to spend the day with him because I needed to know whether or not you would return to me. I needed to know you loved me more than him.”
“You have to know after all the time we’ve spent together that you are the only man I love. The only man I have ever completely shared myself with, body and soul. I can’t live with you being disappointed with me. You have to find it in your heart to forgive me, or I’ll never be able to forgive myself for hurting you.”
Brand let his arms fall to his side. “I am hurt,” he admitted. “But I’m the last person who you should be begging forgiveness from considering my past.”
I walked up to Brand and leaned into him. He didn’t immediately put his arms around me like he usually did but after a few seconds I felt them encircle me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, tentatively pressing my lips against his, trying to coax him into thinking about our future together, not my past transgressions. “I’m so sorry.”
I continued to kiss him lightly until he pulled himself out of his sad reverie and held my head in between his hands, deepening the kiss with an urgency and forcefulness he’d never displayed before. I felt him try to undo the buttons of my shirt and heard him groan in frustration as he finally yanked the shirt open, tearing the buttons loose from their thin threads to allow him free access to my flesh.
Our lovemaking was
filled with a desperate need on both our parts. My desperation stemmed from a need to erase Brand’s mental picture of me allowing Malcolm to kiss me. I wanted him to know without a shadow of a doubt he was the only man I wanted to share all of me with. Brand seemed intent on wiping any trace of desire I might have had for Malcolm from my mind and every inch of my body. He was slightly rougher than usual but it only added to the fuel of our passion for one another. When we reached that point where both our worlds shattered, we met it together with our thoughts only for one another.
We lay on the kitchen floor trying to calm our beating hearts afterward. Suddenly, Brand sat up looking down at me in alarm.
“What?” I asked, still basking in the glow of our heated love making, wondering why we hadn’t done it that way sooner.
Brand watched me, his breathing heavy.
When he didn’t say anything, I sat up too. “What’s wrong?”
“How do you feel?” He whispered, almost like he was scared to hear my answer.
“I feel wonderful,” I said, not understanding why he was looking at me so strangely. “What’s wrong, Brand?”
Brand drew me into his arms and I felt him breathe a sigh of relief.
“I didn’t use anything,” he said. “I was worried…” he couldn’t finish the rest of his statement but I knew what he was thinking.
“Would we know instantly?” I asked.
“If you were pregnant, we would know by now. That’s the way it happened with Abby’s mother.”
I hugged Brand tightly needing him to feel my strength, a reassurance that I wasn’t pregnant.
“I won’t let that happen again,” he promised fervently.
I pulled back slightly holding his head between my hands, forcing him to look into my eyes.
“Please don’t keep that promise,” I said to him earnestly. “Because I want that to happen again and again and again and as many times as we can possibly do it in my lifetime.”
Brand’s mouth finally twitched into a smile and the light of happiness I loved to see in his eyes when he looked at me reappeared. He phased us to our bed and proved to me that my worry was completely unfounded.
A couple of hours later Brand and I decided we needed to meet our obligations for the day. Malcolm came to the house and picked me up in his Bugatti saying he didn’t get to drive it much and the trip gave him a good excuse to stretch its legs.
Brand answered the door when Malcolm knocked on it. I suppose in hindsight I should have made sure I was the one who greeted Malcolm, but what followed probably would have happened one way or the other.
As soon as Brand opened the door to a grinning Malcolm, he reared back his fist and hit Malcolm so hard across the chin the force of the blow sent Malcolm flying over his car and into the dirt road in front of the house.
I ran to the front porch to make sure my friend was still in one piece and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw him stand up rubbing his chin.
“What the hell was that for?” Malcolm grumbled, walking back up to the house.
“That,” Brand yelled back, pointing his index finger at Malcolm, “is for kissing my wife!”
Malcolm looked at me. I shrugged lamely.
“Well, at least you didn’t take my head off this time. I guess that’s an improvement.”
“Take your head off?” I asked, assuming I had heard him wrong. “When did he take your head off?”
Brand crossed his arms over his chest and said, “After he saw you naked in the shower.”
I looked at Malcolm for confirmation and saw him nod his head as he walked up the steps to the front porch.
I felt myself start to smile and then found myself completely amused by such an absurd vision as Malcolm without a head. Will had told me Watchers could tear each other apart and still survive, but I guess I never thought Brand would go that far to avenge my honor.
I was still giggling when Malcolm drove us away from Lakewood towards Dalton.
“Why on Earth would you tell your over protective husband about our innocent little interlude, dearest?”
“Because I don’t want to keep any secrets from him. He deserved to know the truth and I needed to get rid of the guilt.”
“Could you possibly warn me the next time you tell Brand something which might result in my having to reattach a part of my body?”
I smiled. “Just keep your hands to yourself and we won’t have anything to worry about.”
Malcolm sighed heavily, clearly disappointed in my suggestion. “I’ll try,” he said. “But don’t hate me if I take advantage of an opportunity. The loss of a limb might be worth it.”
I hit Malcolm on the arm which just made him chuckle.
That afternoon Utha Mae described to Malcolm the home she wanted us to build for her.
“Nothing too big,” she said. “I just want a little yellow painted house with a wrap around porch. I don’t want an upstairs. These poor old legs aren’t what they used to be anymore. I need a good sized kitchen, a couple of bedrooms and a living room.”
Malcolm jotted down the details in his notebook. “What about a nice sunroom to watch the lake from?” Malcolm suggested.
“Oh, do you think I could have that?” Utha Mae asked, her eyes lit up like a kid at Christmas.
“You can have anything you want,” I told her. “All you have to do is tell us.”
“I just don’t want you and Brand spending too much money on me,” Utha Mae said.
I knew Utha Mae wasn’t one to spend money on herself very often. All her life she struggled to keep a roof over her and Tara’s heads. Letting herself indulge in something she really wanted by using other people’s money just wasn’t something she did. I was thankful she was allowing Brand and I to gift her with a new home of her own. But honestly it felt like we were being given the gift. Her willingness to abandon a home she owned and allowing us to spend whatever time she had near us was priceless.
Malcolm quickly drew up a picture of what he thought Utha Mae wanted and got her input on what needed to be added. By the time we got ready to leave, they had pretty much decided on a plan.
While Malcolm was gathering up his drawing supplies, Utha Mae asked him, “You think you could give me a ride in that fancy car of yours?”
Malcolm smiled with genuine happiness. “I was just waiting for you to ask,” he told her, taking Utha Mae by the arm and giving me a wink as they walked out the door.
Malcolm helped Utha Mae into his car and spun his tires as he raced out of the trailer park. I made the sign of the cross on my body even though I wasn’t catholic. I sent up a silent prayer ensuring Utha Mae didn’t have a heart attack on her little excursion with Malcolm. The way he drove almost always gave my heart palpitations.
When they made it back half an hour later, I could hear Utha Mae’s joyful laughter through the open window of the car as they pulled back up to her trailer. She sounded like a teenage girl who had just been taken on her first joyride.
“Have fun?” I asked her while Malcolm helped her exit the passenger side.
“Oh, Lordy,” she said, a smile so large on her face it dimpled her cheeks, “I don’t think I’ve ever been driven that fast in my whole entire life. I’ll never forget it, that’s for sure.”
On our way back to Lakewood, I decided to tell Malcolm about the Touch I possessed. Brand had been so deeply affected by it I wanted to give my best friend a chance to experience it for himself.
“No thank you, dearest.”
“Why not?”
“I have a good idea what He thinks of me and I would rather not have it confirmed.”
“I think He still loves you, Malcolm.”
“That’s because I’ve only let you see the good side of me. If you knew the culmination of things I’ve done in my past, you wouldn’t so readily offer to share what He thinks of me. I have a lot to atone for, far more than Brand and Mason put together.”
“I think you might be surprised by what you find out,” I told h
im. “When you change your mind, just let me know.”
“Maybe one day,” Malcolm half promised, even though I felt sure that one day might never come.
Chapter 14The next day Brand and I attended our classes, trying our best to keep things as normal as possible. I still kept my job as Dr. Barry’s teacher’s aide but told her I wouldn’t be able to help her the following semester. Partly because I wasn’t a hundred percent sure I would still be alive. She took my resignation in stride and said she had already assumed I would probably be quitting since I married Brand. She didn’t say it in so many words, but I could tell she knew Brand wasn’t exactly hurting for money.
That night as Brand and I prepared to meet my mom and Lucifer at a restaurant in Lakewood, I asked Brand, “How do I test the ring on Lucifer without it looking like I am?”
“You’ll have to wait for an opportunity to present itself. The most important thing is to find a way to make sure he sees the ring. His reaction to it might be a dead give away to how it affects him.”
We were the first to arrive at the Purple Parrot restaurant. It was one of the more upscale establishments in Lakewood with a master chef who had been trained at the Cordon Bleu in Paris. The cuisine was touted as being the best in the state. The maitre d’ sat us at a private table in the far corner of the room. It was tastefully decorated with the restaurants signature purple table cloth and candle lit centerpiece.
We had just ordered our drinks when I saw my mom and Lucifer walk in.
“Hey sweetie,” my mom said when she got to the table and bent down to kiss me on the cheek.
Lucifer pulled out my mother’s chair for her like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to be doing for her.
“How was your trip to Vegas?” I asked, trying to force a pleasant smile even though I felt Lucifer’s eyes on me.
Cora looked over at Lucifer and said, “Do you think I should tell her now?”
Lucifer smiled, a sight which sent a shiver down my spine. “I don’t see why not. She’ll need to know sooner or later, and I would rather not keep it a secret from anyone.”