“That should never have happened… it just shouldn’t have. I meant no disrespect and I’m sorry. I’m too old and worn down for someone like you,” he said, pulling back from her and physically pushing her away from him. Standing up he turned his back to her. “You should go. I realize I probably strike you as a crazy person in light of my earlier actions… and even more so now… but I assure you that Danny is completely safe here with me.”
He was pushing her away while scrambling from his own emotions. She wasn’t sure if his reaction was out of guilt over the way in which he’d taken her up against the wall. Perhaps it went against his strict moral code.
Or maybe it was due to the fact that he’d accidentally given her a glimpse of the pain he lived with. She wasn’t sure what exactly made him want to drive her away both physically and emotionally. At least he seemed to be in control of himself again, so maybe along with getting to know her brother, she’d also get to know Rusty. Then she could get some answers as to why she was so off limits to him.
Teasing and tempting him as he’d put it had done the trick once for getting him to touch her. Touching her was what it had taken to get him to open up a little bit about what he was thinking and then release some of the pain that appeared to be eating him alive.
Having experienced him as a lover was incredible and she wanted him again. And she would have him again… eventually. If she had to wear him down again then so be it but she’d never wanted someone like she wanted him. Being with him had driven that home for her in a significant way.
“Fine, but you should bring Danny by the bakery sometime in the next couple of days. I’ve been thinking that maybe I could use his help at the shop after all. I mean he’s pretty clean and meticulous. So he could at least help with clean up chores or something,” she said, walking toward the doorway to his bedroom.
“Danny already has a job,” he replied with a sigh, as though relieved that he no longer had to discuss their recent time spent together in heaven. Or allow her to touch him.
“He’s not working at the bus station… no way,” she insisted.
“No, no! He’s working for me at Man Maid,” Rusty replied.
Amy tried to fight back against the dose of anger she felt, yet again, over having Rusty beat her to the punch where Danny was concerned. And yet again he’d done it without even consulting her first.
She’d planned to talk to Rusty about Danny’s heart problems and see what he thought about the kind of jobs Danny could do. Instead, he’d just gone ahead and given Danny a job. She could only hope the job was suited for someone with Danny’s medical issues.
However, discussing it now wasn’t going to happen because, unfortunately, she was already a little hurt herself after having been so thoroughly loved physically only to then be pushed away emotionally. It was time for her to go before she and Rusty started arguing. Rusty simply looked drained and she was tired now as well.
Walking back over to him, she reached up to touch his shoulder but he put his hand out to stop her from caressing him and said, “Please, Amy. Have some mercy. I’m hanging on by a thread here. Let me adjust to all this. I mean… what have you done to me? I can still feel you too… all warm, wet and tight around me. Right now it’s making me really edgy and… just please. It isn’t right to use your body to make myself feel better. That’s no different than using alcohol or drugs to dull the pain and you deserve better than that.”
Instead of arguing with him that it was okay to accept physical comfort from someone… whether it was in the form of a hug… or sex… she dropped her hand back down to her side. She would give him the space he asked for tonight at least.
However, at some point he was going to have to talk to her, or someone, about what was going on with him. Only the fact that she felt in her soul Danny was safe in Rusty’s care, despite his emotional issues, was she willing to leave them alone.
“Fine, Rusty. I’m going to go then. You know where I am if Danny needs anything. The same goes for you… If at some point you change your mind and decide you’d like me to warm your bed after all, give me a call. If I’ve not moved on to some other hot baking assistant slash cupcake delivery guy that gives me such intense orgasms that my legs are still shaking a whole hour later, maybe we can hook up again,” she said in as casual a tone as she could muster.
He closed his eyes as though he was trying to block out what she’d just said and she was relieved that at least her comments still impacted him. Obviously he wasn’t any closer to having her out of his system than she was at having him out of hers. He just needed a timeout and she would give him that even though just looking at him made her want to use everything in her arsenal to get him to relent and use her body once again for whatever relief he could get…
As disappointed as she was that Rusty had declined her offer to warm his body and his bed, she at least felt a little less panicked about his emotional state. She felt like he would be okay now. Where, when he’d left her apartment earlier, she’d been truly worried for him.
Part of her felt that maybe Danny being there was a blessed distraction for Rusty in that it pulled him out of the despair she’d caught a glimpse of in his eyes and in his sobs. Danny forced him to focus on something else for a while.
When she finally arrived back home she took Grudge outside to use the bathroom and then went to bed. Why did she finally meet a man who possessed the backbone needed to stand up to her when necessary, only for him to also have such deep emotional problems? It somehow seemed so unfair. Rusty was perfect in every way except for that one area. Unfortunately it was a big deal area she was unfamiliar with how to fix as she herself had issues relating and dealing with people.
The following day was busier than normal since Renee had finally actually reduced her hours down to part time and therefore hadn’t come in at all. By the time she got the closing chores done and locked up the shop she realized it was too late to visit Danny. By the time she could get there he would already be in the process of going to bed. She would call him instead.
Digging her cellphone out of her purse she noticed a missed call and voicemail message. Listening to the voicemail she realized it was from Martha at the group home. She’d completed all the required paperwork so was a little curious as to what was so important that it couldn’t wait until she took Danny back at the end of the weekend. Sighing, she called the number back.
“This is Amy Carlton returning your call,” she said when Martha answered.
“I just wanted to let you know, in light of the accusations that Mr. Hawkins made regarding Lester Crawford, we did investigate. Frankly what we found was disturbing. I’d like to assure both you and Mr. Hawkins, Lester is no longer employed with us. In fact he was charged with theft as we have video of him taking money and various items from other residents both in this home and another one he worked at,” Martha said. “I just wanted to assure you, we take these matters seriously and will do everything we can to restore the faith and trust, you put in us to care for your brother. We hope you will accept our apologies over what happened. Lester did pass all the required background checks. Unfortunately, a background check can only discover run-ins with the law or employment related issues, and isn’t an indicator of personality or morality.”
“I’m sorry… but what are you talking about?” she managed after Martha’s lengthy explanation.
“Your brother’s music collection… as far as we know Lester didn’t actually take any of them. He was simply using them as a way to… bully and belittle… your brother. We don’t have video of those incidents… only audio as most of those incidents occurred in your brother’s room and out of sight of the hallway cameras. However, if any of them are missing, please contact the police department and let them know,” Martha responded.
“Who is Lester?” Amy asked, getting angry that she’d obviously missed something major happening where Danny was concerned. Why hadn’t Danny said something to her... or even better… why hadn’t Rusty? Ma
rtha had said that Rusty was the one who brought this to her attention.
“Lester… the weekend caregiver? He was supposed to be taking the night shifts through this week since Rick is on vacation,” Martha replied. “However, after I spoke with Mr. Hawkins I advised my boss who reviewed tapes of the main areas of the house. We just apologize that we didn’t catch on to what he was doing earlier. The things he called our residents nearly broke my heart. We normally don’t listen to the audio of those recordings, we just watch them for safety issues or obvious mistreatment of residents or staff, like physical abuse… that type of thing. In this case, Lester used his words to hurt the residents and then stole from them whenever an opportunity presented itself. We assure you that we will more carefully screen those videos from now on… both the audio and the video. Additionally, there will now be two caregivers even on the night shift so no one is ever left alone with the residents. We sincerely hope that both you and Danny will consider giving us another chance. Both the other residents and the remaining staff really enjoy having Danny here.”
Why hadn’t either Rusty or Danny told her about Les? Danny’s insistence on not staying at the home anymore made a lot more sense now. He would have known that Les was going to be the night caregiver through this week, not just for the weekend, which would explain why he’d taken it upon himself to try and ride the bus to her house. Danny had tried to tell her in his own way… she just didn’t know how to listen to him yet. Rusty on the other hand should have said something to her.
After changing her clothes that sported a couple of chocolate stains, she took Grudge out for his walk. She’d hoped the walk would clear her head and keep her from just going over to Rusty’s house and jumping his case about not telling her about Les’ treatment of Danny.
Upon getting back to the apartment, she found herself standing outside the spare bedroom. She’d moved her brother’s stuff into the bedroom and never given it another thought. Now every single item in the room was calling to her.
Opening the door she was met with a unique smell… like antique furniture… that again, brought about glimpses of a memory. As before, she could see herself at around four or five years old… and frightened. Her father and Sylvia were arguing adamantly… about Danny.
A younger version of Danny had come into the room and taken her hand, leading her back to his bedroom. He’d started music playing… hippie music… and sat in the rocking chair. She’d climbed into his lap and he’d rocked her while they listened to the music which drowned out the shouts from the other room.
She gently looked through Danny’s things as she tried to work through all the feelings and thoughts… and recollections… that assailed her where her brother was concerned.
Everything he owned was neatly organized. He even had boxes of photographs, each one marked with divider tabs of the year in which they were taken. One tab caught her eye, as it wasn’t a year but rather a name… hers. Amy.
Thumbing through the photographs she was met with more memories of fights between her father and Sylvia, while she and Danny had listened to hippie music in his room. Sometimes he’d rocked her in his rocking chair if she was afraid, sometimes he’d let her look at all the faces on his album covers when she was curious, and a few times he’d even let her jump on his nicely made bed when she’d had too much energy.
Danny had taken care of her. He’d been patient with her… that much she remembered very clearly. Yet when he’d needed her, she’d failed him. She’d left him at a home that he hated, with a man who’d treated him wrong. Why hadn’t he just told her what Les was doing to him? He’d obviously told Rusty what was going on.
Having been so wrapped up in her memories, she was startled when her cell phone rang. Despite not recognizing the number on the screen she answered it.
The memories of Danny she’d actually been painfully enjoying, even in spite of the fact they’d all involved her father and Sylvia arguing, were dashed upon hearing that it was the security company that monitored the building where AmyCakes was located. A man from the company informed her that the alarm for the building had been triggered. The local police department had been notified and someone would be contacting her shortly.
She’d no more than ended the call from the alarm company when she was contacted by the Sheriff’s department that several businesses along the main street of Miamisburg had their windows shattered. Unfortunately, one of the windows was at AmyCakes. The deputy recommended that she contact her insurance company and see if she could get someone to come and board up the broken window until she could get it repaired.
After finding the number to the insurance company and leaving a message, she realized she didn’t have a board of any kind or even the proper tools needed to board up the broken window. Frustrated that the first person she thought to call for help with the window was the same man that she wanted to stop helping her with Danny, she finally caved in and called his cell phone.
“He’s already in bed, sorry,” Rusty answered.
“I hate to call you but… some windows were broken out up at the shop. I called my insurance agent but so far he hasn’t called me back. If I come and stay with Danny… could you maybe…” she asked.
“Are you at the shop now?” Rusty asked gruffly.
“No… I haven’t left the apartment yet,” she replied.
“Good… just sit tight. Danny and I will take care of it. Then we’ll stop by the apartment. Do not go up there, Amy,” Rusty ordered.
“I don’t want you to have to wake him up to go up there. I’ll drive over to stay with him…” she started to say.
“He’d never forgive me if I didn’t let him come and help. Just trust me. We’ll take care of this and be there before you know it,” Rusty finished.
Rather than continuing to argue with him, she agreed. After hanging up the phone she went and started some coffee brewing. It was likely to be a long night by the time the deputy stopped by with the paperwork he needed her to sign and Rusty and Danny made it there after boarding up the window.
The thought of Danny helping Rusty brought about yet another childhood memory. She remembered making Danny wait outside the bathroom door for her when she’d had to use the restroom once during one of those fighting episodes. She’d been too afraid to go by herself so he’d told her he would keep watch outside the door until she was all done.
The thought hit her just as she set her cup of coffee on the kitchen table and sat down in one of the chairs. Thanks to Rusty, Danny would once again be watching out for her. Was that why Danny always wanted to stay at her apartment? Why he wanted to work with her at AmyCakes? Help her with Grudge? Like any big brother… was this Danny’s way of still looking out for her?
Did Rusty know that? Is that what Rusty had meant about Danny not forgiving him if he didn’t allow him to help him fix the window to her cupcake shop? Perhaps much like it bothered her to have anyone else look out for Danny… maybe Danny felt the same way about her? Was this the bond her mother had been so insistent on?
Chapter Nine
“We’re too old for this, huh, Rusty?” Danny asked with a wide smile as he helped hold a piece of plywood in place across the broken window while Rusty secured it.
“It sure feels like it. Sometimes more than others, but when it comes to sisters… age doesn’t matter,” he replied. “As brother’s we have to look out for them. It’s what we do… you know that.”
“Yeah. Do you still have to fix stuff for Lauren?” Danny asked.
“She lives in California now so I haven’t had to fix anything for her for a very long time,” he replied.
“I don’t want Amy to move to California. Then I would have to move too so I can still look out for her and I like Ohio. I live in Ohio. Not California,” Danny replied. “Why don’t you live in California so you can look out for Lauren?”
“Remember how she used to kick us out of her room sometimes?” he asked. Upon seeing Danny nod his head he said, “Well, she kicked me
out of California too.”
Glancing over at his friend he could see that Danny was satisfied with that white lie answer and decided to do a little prying of his own. “How come you never got to spend the night at Amy’s house back when we were in school?” he asked.
“Mom said that my dad couldn’t take good enough care of me. Not like she did. She said that he didn’t understand me. I can’t drive a car, that’s what she said but my dad said I could maybe learn how if I tried. Mom said that I couldn’t take care of Amy… Amy’s not my responsibility. My dad said that Amy’s my little sister and always would be. Letting me spend time with her doesn’t make me her babysitter… it makes me her big brother,” Danny said. “Mom said no. That’s what she said every time I asked. No.”
Danny’s recent questions about Rusty being able to find a house closer to where Amy lived made a lot more sense now. Not allowing Danny to have a relationship with his dad was one thing. However, Sylvia’s need to nearly smother Danny in her protective bosom had apparently meant keeping Amy at bay as well. Her overactive motherly instincts probably would have extended to Rusty and Greg too had it not been for the public school system.
There were no rules or laws against bullying back then. He and Greg had been the unspoken rule against bullying… at least where Danny was concerned. The two of them had been members of both the wrestling and football teams. So that meant most kids feared the retaliation they would endure from them if they picked on Danny way more than any trouble they might have gotten into with a teacher or the principal.
Sylvia not allowing Danny to stay with his dad explained why Rusty knew nothing of Amy prior to now. He’d even called Greg Sanders to ask if he remembered Amy. Greg hadn’t known anything about her either. Then Rusty decided that since Sylvia wasn’t around anymore to offend by even mentioning Down Syndrome, he would take the opportunity to pick the brain of Greg’s wife, Carla, who was a nurse.
Maid to Order (Man Maid Book 4) Page 12