Leaning over the parapets, Tobin eyed the broken bodies of warriors and shamans and the wooden debris from the remains of Durahn’s bridges.
They underestimated me. Again.
The sides of Tobin’s mouth twisted upward as he moved his gaze to the last of the retreating army. He smiled wider as he noticed the mannerisms of the survivors.
What is your next move Mawkuk? Beg for mercy as neither one of your children had the sense to do? Or keep fighting until your own men turn their blades on you for leading them to their deaths.
He grunted, thinking about Durahn.
No matter what you do, your life is done. And I’ll take your head myself.
Tobin turned where Teznak waited dutifully behind him at attention. “Check over supplies, especially arrows and quarrels for the archers.”
“Yes, Warleader,” said Teznak with a bow. “Are you returning to the palace now that we can expect another break in their assault?”
Tobin hadn’t considered that option. Mawkuk and Durahn would need to spend time regrouping and licking their wounds. He could afford to spend one night away.
“Yes, I think I will. Kerek is in charge until I return. I want news on anything unusual.”
Teznak bowed again.
Tobin made his way down from the wall. Not long ago, he had wanted a challenge. He should feel happy because of his success. However, the satisfaction of victory paled in comparison to the true joy he had after his night with Lucia. He hung his head, realizing that nothing in life would measure up to that perfect moment.
He hadn’t seen her in days.
I don’t want her to hurt me again. But, am I better like this?
He thought about how little his life meant without her.
And without my child.
He made a choice.
She came to me last time. It’s time I go to her.
* * *
Tobin rapped his knuckles on the door and waited. A deep breath did little to calm his rolling stomach. His palms continued to sweat after wiping them on the legs of his trousers.
“Who is it?” asked a muffled voice.
“Tobin. Can we talk?”
The door swung open violently revealing a red-eyed Lucia. Her hand shot up, and caught the side of his face. The blow snapped his head to the side and his ear rang. He forgot all about his nervousness.
“How dare you show your face around here,” she snapped.
“What did I do?” Tobin asked as he touched the buzzing in his cheek.
“What did you do?” Lucia screamed. “Jober told me what really happened to Kaz. He—”
Tobin barged in, pushing Lucia back, and slamming the door. “I can explain what happened.”
“I don’t want to hear your explanation. You’re just like Jober. You think that whatever you’ve been telling yourself to justify your actions is enough to ease my pain. You’re wrong!”
“It wasn’t me. It was Nachun. I only came in afterward.”
“I don’t care! You still lied to me! And you let Nachun live for what he did,” she cried.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
Lucia’s sobbing stopped. Her eyes widened. She lowered her voice. “You let Nachun take my husband from me. How did you think I would feel?”
Tobin looked away, unable to meet her eyes. She marched toward Tobin and slapped him again, flinging his head to the side.
“Answer me!” she yelled.
“This isn’t how it was supposed to be,” he muttered.
“Yes, you thought I would swoon over you, and that we could live a happy life together until the end of our days. Is that it? All you care about is yourself!”
She lunged toward him, swinging violently.
Tobin grabbed her wrists, suddenly full of rage. “I came here for us. For our child!”
Betrayals of every past relationship he ever had flashed through his mind, every good deed he had ever attempted all collapsing in the end.
Why is it that every good thing I try fails so miserably?
“So . . . are you . . . going to kill me too?” asked Lucia, choking out the question.
Lucia’s words slapped Tobin harder than her hand had. He blinked himself out of his stupor, realizing that he had her bent over a chair. He felt her protruding belly rub against his own.
What am I doing? I can’t even control myself with her. She’s right. I never considered her feelings. Only my own.
He quickly let her go and stepped away. She stood slowly, rubbing her wrists.
A bright flash streaked across his vision.
He and Kaz played as boys. He remembered the satisfaction he felt knowing that his hiding spot was so good, his brother would never find him. But Kaz did, and the two began yelling at each other. Tobin accused Kaz of cheating. Their mother came into the room and she told Tobin to come down from the shelf and then went to Kaz. Tobin kicked his legs out in anger, accidentally hitting a large pot on the shelf. It fell and struck his mother. She crumbled to the ground.
Tobin stared in horror.
Adosh entered the room and grabbed Kaz as his brother lunged toward the ladder to get him. Tobin wanted to say it was an accident, that he was only frustrated things had not gone his way, but the words failed him. He continued to stare at his mother’s lifeless form.
He blinked and was back in Lucia’s room. Barely a moment had passed. He hadn’t murdered his mother after all. He should have felt comfort in that fact, but couldn’t.
Because I still killed her. I only cared about myself. I couldn’t control my anger. Because of that she died.
He glanced down at the growing child in Lucia’s stomach, and then up at the face of the woman he cared for above all else.
How long before I hurt them?
He slowly shook his head. “I’m sorry. For everything,” he whispered before quickly leaving her room.
* * *
Lucia stared dumbfounded at the door. Tobin had looked miserable before rushing out. The sudden change in his demeanor left her more confused than ever.
She turned away and moved to her bedroom. An assortment of clothes and personal belongings sat on her bed. She quickly stuffed them into a bag manageable enough to carry. She took one last look around the room, touched her stomach, removed a note from her dress for Hielle to find in the morning that would explain her actions, and left her quarters.
After her conversation with Jober, Lucia had decided that the comforts of the palace were not worth the stress of being around Tobin and so many others she could not rely on.
Her meeting with Tobin reaffirmed those thoughts.
She couldn’t leave the city yet, not until the siege ended. But she could at least leave the palace and hide with family.
Lucia knew her life would no longer be easy. She touched her stomach.
The safety of my child is worth it.
Chapter 29
Kaz stood at the sterncastle near the captain. His ship held the center position, with others following in their wake. Distant shouts traveled over the relatively calm waters. They intermingled with the sounds pervading his ship.
Heavy boots beat against the decking. Rope squealed in the pulleys as the crew adjusted the sails. Men bellowed at their mates scurrying up and down the masts. His people had always been masters of the sea so it should come as no surprise how natural everyone seemed. However, Kaz marveled at how quickly the Blue Island Clan sailors had taken a foreign ship’s design and made it their own.
“What are you looking at?” asked Drake coming up on him.
Kaz peeled his gaze away from the mizzenmast where one of the crew scurried upward like a squirrel. “Just thinking that if Nareash did anything positive for our people, it’s that he pushed us even past what my father attempted in innovation. Too bad we couldn’t have come across someone better to expose us to such things.”
“Would you have accepted anyone else?”
“It would have been my father’s decision.” He paused, thinking.
“It would have depended on how the information was presented to him and who that person was.”
“No one not of Hesh, then?”
“We are a close-minded people.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re going home then. It sounds like your people need someone like you to lead them.”
“Perhaps.”
“You don’t sound convinced.”
Kaz gestured for Drake to walk with him to the railing, away from earshot of others. He looked out at the white foam trailing the ship. “It would be foolish of me, conceited even, to think that there isn’t someone already in Hesh more capable to lead than I am.”
“You don’t want to lead?”
“No. I thought I did once, but any desire I had was only to make sure my brother was denied the opportunity.”
“Why did you feel that way?”
Kaz opened his mouth, ready to answer the simple question. However, his tongue froze. Of the memories that had returned to him regarding his brother, most had been filled with hate. In those memories, his emotions felt clear, right. Yet now, he couldn’t find the words to express them. The thought scared him.
“What’s wrong?” asked Drake.
I’m about to depose my brother from his rule. I thought I had plenty of reasons to support such a decision. Reports from Itken and the other Kifzo. An entire lifetime of hate. Yet, how can I do this when I don’t know what it was that caused such an intense dislike of him?
A cold chill ran down his back. His desire to return to Lucia had masked the need to confront such feelings about Tobin. Drake’s simple question put things in a different perspective.
I can’t do it. Not like this, anyway.
“Kaz. You don’t look so good.”
He shook away his thoughts. “Sorry. Just a bit seasick I guess. The ocean is getting rougher.”
“Are you sure? I thought you grew up on an island. Being on the water should be nothing to you.”
“Too much time on land, I guess,” he said with a shrug.
“Alright. If you say so.”
He could see that Drake didn’t believe him. However, his friend had the decency not to push the issue.
They stood in silence until Drake changed subjects. “You were saying you didn’t want to lead. Do you know who should?”
Kaz nodded. “I have a few ideas. One in particular. I’m not sure if he would accept it though.” He paused. “I wish I could run off with Lucia where no one would bother us and live our lives in peace.”
“You mean leave everything behind? And have nothing? Trust me. I lived that life. It gets old. I can’t see you being happy with that.”
Kaz smiled. “That’s only because you haven’t met Lucia. She’s not the kind of person anyone would be tired with.”
* * *
Shooting pains in Raker’s good arm shook him awake. He muttered a string of curses, and sat up from his bedroll below deck. Men under his command lay around him.
Senald heaved a heavy sigh.
“Shut up,” mumbled Raker, trying to rub at his good arm with the stump of his other.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“But you wanted to.”
“It’s not the same thing.”
“Close enough.”
“Just go see Wiqua.”
“See. I knew you couldn’t stop yourself from saying something.”
Senald muttered under his breath and rolled over.
“What was that?” Raker hissed.
Senald looked over his shoulder, speaking each word deliberately. “I said, either go to sleep or go see Wiqua. I don’t care which as long as you’re quiet. I’ve barely slept since we left Asantia because of your aches and pains.”
A dozen other grunts and “ayes” followed.
Raker spat. “So all of you are against me then? Fine.” He stood up. “I’ll go see the old man.”
He unhooked a lantern next to a post and raised the wick. Another curse from behind started at the increase in light. He ignored them, trying to block out the pain as he shuffled upstairs to the next level. He went straight to Wiqua who surprisingly was up. The old man smiled warmly.
“It’s too late to smile like that.”
“Would you rather I scowl, bark, and swear with everything I do like someone I know?”
“Absolutely.”
Wiqua’s smile grew. “What can I do for you?”
“It’s my shoulder.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“It hurts. Can you heal it?”
“The process is much quicker and longer lasting if I have more information about the injury. Tell me what happened.”
“Something popped.”
“When?”
“When we left Asantia?”
“What were you doing?”
“Swinging my mace,” he grumbled.
“I see. It’s not surprising. You don’t use it as often as you used to. Plus, you are getting up in years.”
“Look who’s talking.”
“Sit down, and let’s have a look at it.”
Raker did as he was told while Wiqua examined the arm. A warm sensation began to permeate the left side of his upper torso, starting in the shoulder joint and working outward down his arm and into his neck and back. Eventually, the sensation faded.
“Good as new.”
Raker swung his arm about, rolling it back and forth. It felt better than it had before the injury. “Thanks.”
Wiqua nodded. “It’s what I do. Though the gratitude is appreciated all the same. It isn’t something I hear often.”
Raker started to question that statement but then realized that he had never told the Byzernian thanks after saving his life. At the time, he had been too focused and angry on the fact that he only had half an arm. He hung his head.
“And thank you for this,” he said, raising his stump. “At the time, I hated you for saving my life, but now I’m glad you did.”
“I’m happy you realized your life was worth saving.”
“Things were pretty dark there for a while.”
“It’s understandable. You lost someone close to you.”
“I guess so.” Raker paused. He realized he rarely ever spoke to the old man. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“How are you handling Hag’s death?”
“I miss her like everyone else. Probably more since I knew her in a different way.”
“I don’t see you going through all the crazy stuff some of us went through with Jonrell’s death.”
Wiqua offered a sad smile. “That’s because she isn’t the first person special to me I’ve lost. Remember, I was once a slave. I’ve had practice in handling great losses.”
“I hope neither of us has anymore.”
“I think we both know that isn’t likely.”
* * *
White balls of sorcery floated over the ship, dancing back and forth in the air like a swarm of fireflies. Each of the small balls raced upward, disappearing into the black clouds that had begun to fill the skies days ago. Drake noticed each of the rolling masses lightened to a dark gray.
He joined Krytien who stood alone at the ship’s bow, staring into the sky.
“That seems to have helped. The sky doesn’t look nearly as bad as before,” said Drake.
“It helped some,” answered the mage. “Though not as much as I had hoped. I’ve only tried to affect the weather in small instances. Nothing of this magnitude. From what I gather in Amcaro’s writings, even he had trouble manipulating weather to such a degree.”
“I’m sure every little bit will help. The captain expects the storms to start tomorrow. They were in them for more than a week last time.”
Krytien raised an eyebrow. “You spoke with the captain?”
“Yeah. Why?”
The mage shook his head in disbelief. “One Above, now you’re speaking Heshan too?”
Drake grinned. “Not a whole lot. I had already pic
ked up a good bit of it from listening to Kaz, especially since it shares so many similarities with the Byzernian language.”
Krytien smirked. “Whatever you say.”
“Are you back to full strength?”
“Not completely.”
“Shouldn’t you still be resting then?”
“Nah. Too much to do.” He chuckled, gesturing to the clouds. “Not unless you want to take care of this for me.”
“I wish.”
Krytien paused. “So, what’s bothering you?”
Drake sighed. “Just wondering what we’re walking into.”
“We all are. But that’s how it always is when you first start a job. Even if this isn’t a job in the traditional sense, the basics are all there.”
“I guess. I know you’ve been doing this a lot longer than I have, but this is just so different from when we went to Cadonia. I know we didn’t fully know what to expect then either, but at least Jonrell seemed to have a clue. Kaz however . . .”
Krytien nodded. “I know. Even though Jonrell had been away for years, he knew the players involved hadn’t changed much. With Kaz, it sounds as though a lot has changed. He might be going up against family. If you’ve noticed, he never talks about that. In some ways, I think he might be as clueless as we are.”
Drake sighed. “So, what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Normally, I’d be trying to get ready for battle, but I really can’t do that if I don’t have an idea about what I should get ready for.”
“Take advantage of the time off and study with Mizak then. He seems to be the kind of person you’d get along with.”
“Worth a shot.”
“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ve got work to do.”
* * *
Forgive me, Kaz.
Those three words, the first three words he heard upon wakening in Cadonia, echoed in his mind. With little to do at sea but think, he considered the magnitude of that simple phrase.
By giving me my name, I never fully lost a connection to my past. What would have happened had Jober not said them to me?
Kaz still did not completely understand his friend’s context for saying those words. He knew Jober had been involved in some capacity in his disappearance, but the details escaped him. He knew the story Jober relayed to Bazraki from Itken. However, Kaz was not convinced of its accuracy. There were too many inconsistencies.
Trial And Glory (Book 3) Page 32