He thanked God for Katie’s parents, who’d moved to the ranch from Oklahoma last summer. Clara Donavan helped keep the rest of the little ones busy baking cookies and making decorations. She and Randy and Katie had wrapped most of the gifts, which sat stacked under the big tree. All that was left now was for Sadie Mae to wake up.
Jake leaned down and kissed the girl’s eyes. “Wake up, chick-a-dee. Please wake up.”
Randy leaned in to kiss Sadie Mae’s cheek, then rose to walk behind Jake. She bent down and kissed his cheek, too. “You hang on, Jake. I know your every thought, and you’re thinking it should be you lying here near death. Tommy feels the same way—that it should be him. That young man has changed so much. God had a purpose, bringing him into your life and you into his. Don’t think for one minute there isn’t a purpose for everything he gives to you and does for you.”
Katie came inside then with Lloyd and Tricia. They’d left Donavan and baby Jeffrey Peter, who had just started walking, with Clara.
“Any change?” Lloyd asked, walking over to his father.
“No.”
Lloyd knelt down next to the chair and kissed Sadie Mae’s hair. “Tommy is a lot better. Won’t be able to use that arm much for quite a while, but there’s no infection, and he’s up walking around—sore as hell in all the places where he took some pretty bad cuts and gouges, but he’ll make it.”
“Good. He’s turning out to be a good man.”
“Thanks to you. You raised me to be a pretty good man, too, Pa. See how important you are to this family?”
Jake shook his head. “If you say so.”
Tricia petted her cousin’s dark hair.
“Wake up, Sadie Mae,” she said to the girl sadly. “I got nobody to play with, and I love you.” Her lips puckered in a sad pout as she looked at Jake. “You still love me too, don’t you, Grampa?”
Jake frowned. “Tricia, why would you ask that?”
“’Cuz you hold Sadie Mae all the time.”
“That’s because she’s so sick, Tricia. I would love to hold you right now, but it’s my turn to sit with Sadie Mae.” Jake smiled inwardly at how both girls were constantly vying for his attention.
Brian kissed Evie’s cheek and rose to walk over to Jake. He took Sadie Mae into his arms. “Go ahead outside with Tricia, Jake. Take her for a walk or something. See how popular you are? The kids are all practically fighting over who gets to spend the most time with Grandpa.”
Jake managed a grin and rose. “There was a time when nobody wanted to be around me.” He waited while Brian sat down, then leaned over to kiss Sadie Mae’s forehead again. “I love you, chick-a-dee,” he said softly into her ear. He straightened and turned, pulling Randy into his arms for a moment. They left the words unspoken, but they missed each other, being together alone at night, holding each other. If Sadie Mae died, nothing in life would be the same. It was too much. Too much. The family had suffered more than any family should have to suffer, and that was what saddened Jake the most.
“It’s okay, Jake.” Randy stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips.
So many years. So many great times. So many terrible times. Even his Randy had suffered, but here she stood, loving him, supporting him. He put a hand to the side of her face and kissed her once more. “Get some rest of your own,” he told her.
“I’m baking your favorite bread. Surely you want me to finish that first.”
He smiled. “I wouldn’t mind.” He kissed her once more, then walked to the door and took down his jacket, pulling it on and putting on his wide-brimmed hat. “Leave your boots and leggings on, Tricia,” he told her. “We’ll go for a walk.” He left his six-guns hanging on a hook over the door. Tricia hurried over to him, and Jake picked her up.
As always, bright red curls stuck out from under Tricia’s knitted hat like tiny springs. The girl threw her arms around Jake’s neck. “I love you, Grampa. Sadie Mae will be okay. Aunt Evie is like an angel. That’s what Daddy says, so she’ll be okay ’cuz Aunt Evie is praying for her.”
Everyone in the room shared a smile.
Jake kissed Tricia’s cheek. “You’re probably right, Tricia,” Jake told her before walking out the door.
Everyone looked at each other as Evie pulled little Cole from under the blanket and kept the blanket over herself as she held the baby against her shoulder to burp him. “I know what you’re all thinking, and I agree,” Evie told them. “If Sadie Mae dies…well…I don’t even want to think about it. But besides me and Brian and young Jake, Daddy will be devastated. He can’t bear the thought of any one of us dying before him. He’s come so far. But if we lose our Sadie Mae, none of that will matter.”
“But he’s so much stronger now, Evie,” Randy told her. “I’ve seen it and felt it. We’ll all get through this.” She knelt beside Sadie Mae again, touching her soft, pudgy cheek. “God won’t let her die. He can’t.” She brushed at tears. “He just can’t.” Jake, I can’t lose you now. Not after all these years and all we’ve been through together.
Fourteen
“I’m sad, Grampa.”
Jake carried Tricia off the front porch. “So am I, baby girl.” He walked past Randy’s many roses planted all around their log home. The bushes were barren now and mostly buried in snow. Come spring they would open their glorious blooms of red and pink and yellow and white. No one was better at growing roses than Randy Harkner. He just hoped Sadie Mae would be awake and alive to help her grandmother tend them.
“It’s cold, Grampa.”
“I know.” Jake opened his jacket and wrapped her into it. “Now I can keep you warm and you can keep me warm. Let’s go to the barn and look at the new colt that was born last night. Do you want to see a baby horse?”
Tricia brightened. “Yes! Oh, yes!”
Jake winced with the pain in his leg as he carried the girl to a huge new barn a little distance from the house. The fresh air felt good, and showing Tricia a new colt would help take both their minds off of Sadie Mae.
He carried Tricia to the stall where the new horse stood beside its mother on spindly, unsteady legs. It let out a funny little whinny that made Tricia giggle. “He has a white face, Grampa, just like his mommy.”
“He sure does. And look how well muscled he already is…perfect form. He’ll make a good cutting horse someday. That’s what his mother is. Her name is Marble, because the colors in her coat swirl around like a marble.”
“That’s a good name. Can I name her baby?”
“We’ll have to ask your daddy. These horses belong to him.”
“He’ll let me name it if Mommy tells him he has to. Daddy does everything Mommy wants.”
“Is that so?” The thought brought a smile to Jake’s lips. “I’ll have to ask Lloyd if that’s true.” He set Tricia on the wide board atop the wall of the stall, where she could observe the colt without going inside. “I can’t wait to hear his answer.” He thought how much fun it would be when he brought up what Tricia said in front of the whole family. He loved teasing different members of the family, especially Katie. Her fair skin would turn beet red. And it was also great fun to tease Lloyd, always so serious and stoic. Father and son were constantly jabbing at each other in a “one-up” contest.
“Sit still there, Tricia. I don’t want you to go inside the stall. Mothers of any breed get a little ornery when they think they have to protect their young. Marble is gentle, but you can’t be too sure when a female animal has just had a baby. It’s usually when they have their young along that female grizzlies attack.”
Jake lit a much-needed cigarette, taking a deep drag and throwing the match into a small bucket of water that hung nearby for matches and cigarettes. He thought about Lloyd again, how their jabs at each other were nothing more than a form of loving each other. It gave him a good feeling to know Lloyd would be there for the family once he himself was gone from this e
arth. Lord God, don’t you dare take that little girl before me. Don’t you dare.
He stood near Tricia and let her watch the baby horse, which wobbled toward her and let out another small whinny.
“Can I pet him, Grampa?”
Jake moved an arm around her from behind to make sure she wouldn’t fall inside. “Sure you can. Marble looks pretty calm.” He let Tricia pet the horse while he finished his cigarette and thought how Sadie Mae would also love to be out here watching a new baby horse. Little girls loved animals and babies. Sadie Mae’s special love was for the baby chick-a-dees.
Baby chick-a-dees.
It hit him then. He took one last drag on his cigarette and let go of Tricia just long enough to drop it into the bucket of water. He came back and lifted Tricia into his arms again. He kissed her cheek. “Tricia, I have an idea how maybe we can help Sadie Mae.”
“How, Grampa?”
“Baby chickens! She loves baby chickens!”
Tricia smiled and nodded her head, the springy red curls jutting from under her cap bouncing when she did so. “What are you going to do, Grampa?”
“We’ll go get a few baby chicks from the chicken coop and take them into the house. Maybe their peeping will wake her up.”
Tricia’s big blue eyes turned to saucers, and Jake thought how she and Sadie Mae were as different in looks as night and day.
“That’s a good idea, Grampa!” Tricia told him, her blue eyes sparkling. “Let’s go get some baby chicks.”
“Well, now, there’s the problem, Tricia,” Jake told her as he headed out of the barn. “Do you remember what happened to me the last time I went in that henhouse?”
Tricia giggled. “Everybody teased you, Grampa. That old rooster came after you, and you had scratches all over your face. Sadie Mae told us you said a bunch of bad words!” she answered.
“That’s right. I haven’t gone near the chickens or that henhouse since then. That mean old rooster hates me, Tricia. He behaves for Sadie Mae, Evie, and your grandmother, but not for anyone else.”
“Let’s get Mommy then, or Grandma.”
“Well, your mommy is busy feeding your new baby brother, and Grandma has a little cold. I don’t want her to come out here and breathe the cold air. You and I will have to do it.”
“We could try to explain to the rooster that we need the baby chicks for Sadie Mae. Maybe he would understand. He minds me too, so I can go in with you.”
“I don’t think you should go in. If Outlaw decides to attack, the chickens will all go wild and you could get hurt. I’d like to shoot that beast, but Sadie Mae would be awful mad at me if I did that, and we need the rooster to make baby chickens.”
“How does he do that, Grampa?”
Jake realized he’d talked himself into a corner. The way Grandpa loves on Grandma, he thought with a grin. “Well, mama chickens get scared when the rooster isn’t around,” he lied, using an authoritative ring as he spoke. “So scared that they won’t lay eggs that will hatch. When mama chickens are scared, their little brains produce something inside them that stops the eggs from ever hatching. Those chickens like the rooster’s protection. He’s kind of like me and your daddy—watching for bad things in order to protect you and all the people we love.”
Tricia pouted her lips. “Mommy says Daddy is brave and strong, like you, Grampa. And he’s handsome like you, she says.”
Jake grinned. “She thinks I’m handsome?”
“Yes, she does. But she says Daddy is the most handsome of all.”
Jake laughed. “Of course he is. He’s a lot younger. And your daddy is a better man that I’ll ever be because he grew up surrounded by lots of love.”
Tricia put a small hand to Jake’s cheek. “I’m sorry your daddy was mean to you, Grampa. How come your daddy didn’t love you?”
The old pain tried to return. “I guess he was just not a very happy man, sweetheart. No one will ever really know, and it was a long, long time ago. Right now we need to worry about Sadie Mae and how we can help her. Let’s see if that mean old rooster will let me put a couple of chicks in my coat pocket. And if there is a bucket sitting around, we’ll gather a few eggs for Grandma. We all miss Sadie Mae being the official egg gatherer.”
Tricia puckered her lips. “Will Sadie Mae wake up, Grampa? I miss her.”
“Sure she will.” Jake fought the sickening dread inside that he might be wrong. He held Tricia close and headed for the chicken coop.
Fifteen
All who were in the house looked toward the front door, a bit startled when it suddenly burst open and Jake walked inside followed by Tricia, who held a basket of eggs. Jake slammed the door against a rising cold wind and turned to hang up his hat.
Everyone stared at the deep scratches on his face and hands.
“Jake!” Randy walked up to him in alarm, glancing at the eggs. She couldn’t help laughing then. “Don’t tell me you went inside the henhouse!”
“I damn well did,” he answered, stomping snow off his feet.
Lloyd burst into more laughter. “What the hell for, Pa?”
“Daddy, you look like you’ve been in a bar fight,” Evie told him. She sat rocking a sleeping Cole.
Even Brian grinned, in spite of still sitting in Jake’s chair holding his unconscious daughter. “Jake, we all needed to find something to smile about. You’ve done a good job of that.”
“Look, Grandma!” Tricia said to Randy. “Look at all the eggs we got!”
“Well, my goodness, that’s wonderful, Tricia! Go set them in the kitchen, sweetheart.”
Tricia headed to the kitchen with the eggs. “Grampa said a bunch of bad words again,” she tattled. “He wouldn’t let me go in there ’cuz of old Outlaw, but he got all these eggs and then he got the baby chicks!”
Randy looked at Jake. “Baby chicks?”
Jake nodded. “Baby chicks.”
“You brought baby chicks into the house?”
“I thought maybe if Sadie Mae heard their peeping…”
“Daddy, that’s a wonderful idea!” Evie exclaimed.
Lloyd rose. “Yeah, well, it looks like our father literally risked his life again for someone he loves.”
Jake grinned. “Just about.”
They all laughed. It felt good to laugh.
Jake leaned down and kissed Randy, then whispered in her ear, “I want to make love to you.”
“Jake Harkner!” Randy exclaimed aloud. “What has gotten into you?”
Jake laughed lightly. “The fresh air, I guess. And I feel good about this.”
“About what?” Katie asked, opening her arms to Tricia as her daughter came bounding up to where she stood in the kitchen. She took the basket of eggs from her daughter and then hugged her.
“We got the baby chicks for Sadie Mae to wake her up!” the girl told Katie.
It was then they all heard the chicks peeping. Jake reached into his coat pockets and pulled a baby chick from each one. “Fix up a basket or a box near the hearth,” he told Randy. “We have to keep these things warm.”
Randy thought what an incredible contrast it was to see her husband so gently holding the baby chicks in his big, rough hands…hands that had fought hundreds of men, hands that had held those infamous guns as an outlaw and then a lawman, hands that could crush those chicks in a second. She hurried into the kitchen to find a basket, then put a towel inside. She brought it back to Jake and he gently set the chicks into it.
“Take them over to the hearth and warm them up a little,” Jake told her. “We’ll hold them close to Sadie Mae and let her hear their peeping.” He removed his coat and sat down to pull off his boots.
“Pa, that’s a great idea,” Lloyd told him again. “And you’d better clean up those scratches on your face. God knows how much chicken sh—” He hesitated. “Chicken droppings that old roos
ter stepped in on his way to do battle with you.”
They all laughed again.
Jake glowered at Lloyd. “Maybe I should put a few scratches on your face—which Katie thinks is quite handsome, according to Tricia.”
Katie blushed and Lloyd grinned. “I could add something to those scratches, Pa,” he joked.
“Try it. I’m still not so old that you could take me in a fistfight.”
“Oh, you’re old enough. You’re just too damn mean. But something tells me old Outlaw is meaner.”
The entire incident helped bring a little joy and laughter to all of them. Jake just shook his head and grinned. “Pull these boots off, will you?” he asked Lloyd. “It hurts my leg when I bend it up to try to do it myself.”
Lloyd knelt to pull them off and Jake held on to a chair, wincing with pain as his son slid off the left boot. The young man remained kneeling where he was for a moment. “I wish I could take away your pain, Pa.”
Jake raised his other foot. “I know you do, but it’s over and done and I’m alive. Get this other boot off so we can see if those chicks help Sadie Mae.”
Lloyd pulled off the other boot, and father and son hugged each other briefly before walking over to the fireplace where Randy had set the basket of chicks. The tiny yellow birds were peeping nonstop now as they tumbled around inside the basket.
“Stephen and young Jake will probably be over here soon,” Lloyd said. “I’ll have one of them go get some feed for the chicks.”
Jake turned to Tricia. “Come on, baby girl. You take one and I’ll take one, and we’ll hold them by Sadie Mae’s ears.”
Tricia obeyed. “Be careful, Grampa,” she whispered, as though this was a time now to be very quiet and very serious. Jake and his granddaughter took the chicks to the big leather chair where Brian sat holding his daughter. The rest of the family gathered in a big circle around the chair. Tricia stood at the side closest to Sadie Mae’s head and held the baby chick close to one of her cousin’s ears. Jake leaned in and held the other chick to Sadie Mae’s other ear.
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