Aware, suddenly, that Adam had fallen asleep, she carried him to the bedroom. After placing him in his cradle, she fell facedown on her bed, sobbing.
Eight
Cole toyed with his glass. He wasn’t much of a drinker. Never had been. Never believed in drowning one’s sorrows in a bottle. Tonight he was tempted to try.
The major sat across from him, rolling a cigarette with the precise movements of a safecracker. With his stern face and military stance, he hardly looked like he belonged in the rowdy saloon, let alone the feisty town. Even the good-time gals avoided their corner table.
A group of men clapped to the tune of the foot-stomping fiddle music. In one corner, a noisy faro game was in progress. But the loudest sounds of all were the voices in Cole’s head.
How can I make her believe that I meant what I said about never leaving?
No matter how many times he’d rephrased the question, the answer echoing back was always the same. You can’t.
Major Comstock said something, yanking Cole away from his thoughts. “I’m sorry.”
“I said, you’ve hardly spoken a word since we left the farm.” The major slid the pouch of tobacco into his coat pocket and licked the edge of the rolling paper. “You haven’t even asked about the plan for capturing the Carpenters.”
“Figured you’d tell me when the time was right.”
The major finished rolling his cigarette. “I’ve known you a long time. Ever since you were wet behind the ears and showed up at headquarters, demanding to join the Rangers.”
Cole studied his commanding officer. “Why do I get the feeling this is leading to something?”
The major shrugged and continued, “You were a bright kid. Passionate. After talking to you I was convinced you would give heart and soul to the Rangers. To fighting crime. Turns out I was right.” Comstock stuck the cigarette in his mouth and reached in his pocket for a box of safety matches. After lighting his cigarette, he took a long drag and blew out a stream of smoke. “The question is, will you still give me all you’ve got?”
Cole stared at him. “Why are you asking this of me?”
“I’m no fool. I saw how you looked at her. How she looked at you.” The major leaned forward. “When you stayed away for weeks, I worried that you were more injured than you’d let on. That’s why I came here. I wanted to see for myself that you were well enough to work again. Now I know that it was no bullet wound keeping you away. It was Cupid’s arrow.”
“That obvious, eh?”
Comstock shrugged. “I may be an old bird, but I remember how it felt to be in love. Believe it or not, I was once in your shoes.” After a long pause, he added, “I chose the Rangers.”
“Any regrets?”
“There’re always regrets. You just have to choose the ones you can live with.” Sitting back in his chair, the major took another puff and blew a smoke ring.
“She won’t even let me make the choice.” Cole stared into his drink. “She lost a father and husband in the line of duty. She refuses to get involved with another ranger.”
The major flicked ash on the sawdust floor. “Can’t blame her for that.”
“I offered to hang up my spurs, but it did no good. She believes that once a man’s a ranger, he’s always a ranger and can’t stay put. At least not for long.”
Cole took a quick swallow of his drink. The whisky burned his throat, reminding him why he normally avoided the stuff. Why he should have avoided the thing called love.
Elbows on the table, he held his head in his hands. No matter how many times he’d sworn not to leave, he still couldn’t make her believe him. Oh, God, there must be a way, but how?
He scrubbed his hands over his face and stared at the wall. A sign read Troublemakers Will Be Asked to Leave.
Just as he drew his gaze away from the sign, an idea popped into his head. A surge of excitement rushed through him. Would it work? Would she believe him then? Maybe, maybe not. All he knew was that he had to try.
* * *
It was dark when Sadie woke to Adam’s frantic cries. She rolled off the bed and lit the lamp before rushing to her son’s side. He was burning up with fever.
Taking a deep breath, she willed herself not to panic. She raced to the dry sink and poured water from the pitcher onto a washrag. She sponged off his face and legs and arms, but the fever persisted, as did his croaky cough. Even more worrisome, his lips were tinged blue and he had trouble breathing.
Oh, God, Cole. Tears sprang to her eyes. Never had she needed anyone as much as she needed Cole at that moment. If only you were here. You would know what to do.
She glanced at the clock. It was after 9:00 p.m. but she didn’t dare wait till morning before taking Adam to the doctor.
Leaving Adam in his cradle, she grabbed an armload of blankets and pillows and dashed outside to the barn. After making Adam a soft bed in the back of the wagon, she quickly hitched the wagon to her horse.
Less than twenty minutes later, she was on the road leading to town. Fortunately, there was a full moon to light the way. Though it was cool, the night air was still—eerily so. Even the wolves were silent.
The movement of the wagon seemed to have a calming effect on Adam, as he’d grown quiet. Her relief was short-lived, however, as a terrifying thought crossed her mind. What if he had stopped breathing?
With a frantic tug on the reins, she set the brake. Jumping to the ground, she froze. The memory of finding her grandfather dead in his bed flashed though her head. He had been so still, so cold. Now, as she froze, petrified, on the side of that lonely road, it was as if the very earth had stopped turning.
Shaking away her inertia, she crept to the back of the wagon. The sound of Adam’s breathing made her cling to the side of the wagon in relief. The rattling in Adam’s chest worried her, but nonetheless offered a measure of comfort.
The drive to town took the best part of an hour, mainly because she kept stopping to check on him. Banjo music, laughter, and occasional gunfire greeted her as she turned down Main. It was Saturday night and the saloons were packed.
Dr. Stybeck’s office was on the corner of Eighth and Main across from a noisy saloon. He lived on the second floor of his office with his wife.
Sadie pulled her horse and wagon to the side of the road. Setting her brake, she jumped to the ground. Three horsemen galloped by. Dogs barked, a horse neighed. Two men exited the saloon across the street. One of the men was so drunk, he couldn’t walk without help.
Wrinkling her nose in disgust, she reached into the back of the wagon and lifted Adam into her arms. He was still burning with fever and hardly stirred. Oh, God. Please don’t let him die. She was so focused on Adam, she almost missed the familiar voice wafting from across the street. Her heart jolted. Was that…?
She turned to give the two men a second look in the yellow glow of the streetlight.
It was Cole, all right, singing at the top of his lungs. He was drunker than a sow in a peach orchard, and if it weren’t for the major, he’d have been flat on his face.
Eyes burning, Sadie watched the major struggle to keep Cole upright. Tonight when she most needed him, Cole was in no condition to help even himself.
Turning away in dismay, she carried her son up the steps to the boardwalk and jabbed the doctor’s night bell.
* * *
“Is it pneumonia?” Sadie whispered, the mere thought striking terror in her heart.
Dr. Stybeck pulled his monaural stethoscope away from her son’s chest. “Croup,” he said.
She frowned. “Is it serious?”
“Can be.” He applied a poultice to Adam’s chest and covered it with a cloth. “I think we caught it in time.” He called to his wife. “We need steam.”
Moments later, Mrs. Stybeck entered the room carrying a hot teakettle. Wearing a gingham apron and a knitted yarn snood over
her gray hair, she moved with a quiet efficiency that could only have come from years of practice.
“Here we go,” she said, arranging the kettle in such a way that the steam flowed directly on Adam.
The doctor nodded with approval. “That’ll help him breathe.”
Both he and his wife insisted Sadie stay the night. “We’ll see how Adam is in the morning,” the doctor said.
With Adam in her arms, she followed the doctor’s wife to the living quarters upstairs. “Your little fellow is breathing better already,” Mrs. Stybeck said. “If you need the doctor in the night, just ring the bell by the side of the bed.”
Sadie smiled in gratitude. “Thank you.”
The guest room was small but comfortable and Sadie fell onto the bed, exhausted, Adam by her side. Sleep, however, escaped her.
Between Adam’s raspy breaths and the noise outside her window, she was too tense to sleep. Fiddle music wafted from the saloon across the street till the wee hours of the morning. It was well after two when a group of raucous cowboys barreled down Main on horseback, whooping and hollering and firing pistols in the air.
But worse than the mayhem outside was the memory of Cole falling down drunk.
I’ll always be there for you.
Thumping her pillow with her fist, she shuddered to think how close she’d been to asking him to stay.
I’ll always be there for you.
“Oh, Cole,” she sobbed. The tears spilling onto the pillow carried pieces of her broken heart. I needed you tonight and you weren’t there. How can I trust that you’d be there in the future?
Nine
Three days later, Sadie had just finished collecting eggs when she spotted a lone horseman riding up to her farm. Recognizing Cole, she almost dropped the basket. They had nothing to say to each other, so what was he doing here? Why wasn’t he out chasing bad guys?
Reaching the porch, she set the basket down and battled back the tears burning her eyes. She had less success willing her heart to keep from hurting any more than it already did.
Cole rode up to the porch and greeted her with a nod before dismounting his horse. “Sadie.”
She curled her hands by her side. “I thought you would be gone by now.”
“That was the plan, but…” He gave her a sheepish smile. “I came to tell you that I’m here to stay.”
She shook her head and turned. “We’ve been through this. I can’t…”
He placed his foot on the lower step. “Wait! Hear me out.”
Her back to him, she reached for the doorknob.
“Please.”
Something in his voice made her stop. Turning, she was surprised to see him smiling. Her temper snapped. His mere presence tormented her, and here he acted as if it was some sort of joke. “Say what you have to say and leave.”
He took another step up the porch. “I can’t return to the Rangers even if I wanted to.”
She narrowed her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“This will explain.” He reached into his coat pocket. Pulling out a letter, he handed it to her.
The parchment suggested it was an official document; the letterhead confirmed it. She quickly scanned it before looking up, puzzled. “It says you were dishonorably discharged from the Texas Rangers.” She frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“That letter is proof I’m here to stay.”
She stared at him, incredulous. “Dishonorably discharged?”
He rubbed his neck. “’Fraid I got me a full-grown case of booze blind. I’m not usually that friendly with a bottle, but”—his eyes pleaded for her to understand—“I missed you something terrible and…” He grimaced as if his drunken behavior had been as distasteful to him as it was to her. “Disorderly conduct is grounds for dismissal.”
“Oh, Cole. I’m so sorry. I never meant… I know how proud you are of your service. To have it end like this…”
Something flickered in the depths of his eyes—a look of sadness, maybe even regret, but he quickly hid both behind a feigned smile. But the smile came a tad too late. She had seen the unguarded look and she knew. Leaving the Rangers under such a dark cloud had cost him dearly.
“I can live with it if you can,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.
She doubted that. Doubted that he could so easily discount years of honorable service. Oh, God. How she hated knowing that she was partly responsible for his career ending in disgrace. Still, she couldn’t help feeling a sense of relief and joy. She no longer had to worry about losing Cole to the Texas Rangers. He couldn’t go back even if he wanted to.
“I’m not the one who has to live with it,” she said.
“Now, that’s still open for discussion,” he said, and the tenderness in his eyes took her breath away. “Sadie, when I said I would stay, I meant it. I didn’t need that letter. I love you.”
The word love wrapped around her heart like a warm blanket. It was the one word she’d hoped not to hear him say, and for good reason. For now that he’d said it, there was no holding back.
“Oh, Cole. I love you too.”
His face brightened. “Does that mean—”
For answer she flew into his arms and hugged him tight.
But even as he held her and kissed her and whispered sweet nothings in her ear, worrisome thoughts nibbled at her happiness. What if their love wasn’t enough to overcome the shame of a dishonorable discharge? What if he came to resent her for the way an otherwise stellar career had ended? What if the discharge that had brought them together was the very thing that would eventually tear them apart?
* * *
Two days before Christmas, Sadie drove her horse and wagon into town and went straight to the general store. Cole was staying at the hotel, but he spent his days at the farm. Today, he insisted upon watching Adam while she shopped for Christmas.
Mr. Cranston greeted her with a rare smile and for once didn’t remind her that she was on a cash-only basis.
She wandered up and down the aisles, fingering the golden eagle in her purse. The blue dress was no longer on display. Not that she would have purchased it. She had more important things to do with her money.
She picked out a leather ball for Adam, but finding the perfect gift for Cole was more difficult. She finally settled on a silver money clip. It was far from the perfect gift she’d hoped to give him, but it would have to do.
She paid for her purchases and left the store. On the way to T-Bone’s meat store to pick up a roast for Christmas dinner, she ran into Major Comstock.
He greeted her with a tip of the hat. “Mrs. Carnes. Perhaps you can help me. I’m looking for the captain. He’s not at the hotel. Would you happen to know where he is?”
“He’s at the farm. What…what is this about?”
“I wanted to inform him that the Carpenter brothers have been caught. The man who killed your husband has been charged with murder. He also has to stand trial for shooting a ranger. I was just passing through and thought I’d stop and give the captain the news in person.”
“He’ll be so happy to hear it,” she said. It seemed like the perfect Christmas gift. “Do you want to come to the farm and tell him yourself?”
The major pulled out his watch. “Thank you, but I can’t. The train will leave in less than an hour, and I need to get back to headquarters.” He tucked his watch back into his vest pocket. “Would you be kind enough to convey my message?”
“Yes, of course. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me.”
“Oh, but there is. Knowing that my husband’s killer has been caught means a lot to me.”
“Yes, well, we Texas Rangers always get our man—and in this case, our men.”
“I know,” she said. How well she knew.
His frown told her he’d heard the sudden edge to her voice. “M
rs. Carnes, may I be forthcoming with you?”
She narrowed her eyes. “Yes, please do.”
“I happened to see you last week in town.”
She drew in her breath. “Yes, my son was ill and I was there to see the doctor.”
“I trust that your son has recovered?”
“He has, thank you.”
The major hesitated. “I’m in a dilemma, and I’m not sure how best to handle it. Perhaps you’d be kind enough to help.”
Sadie frowned in puzzlement. It was hard to believe that anyone as important as the major would ask for her help. “It sounds serious.”
“I’m afraid it is. At the captain’s request, I gave him a letter relieving him of duty. He insisted upon it. Said he didn’t expect to be treated any differently than he would treat his own men who might act rowdy.”
“He…he showed me the letter.”
“I thought he might have. Then you know the letter stated he was dishonorably discharged. What you don’t know is that I can’t in good conscience allow that to stand.”
“I don’t understand, Major.”
Reaching inside his vest pocket, he pulled out a folded document and handed it to her. “That replaces the one in his possession.”
She quickly read what it said, her gaze freezing on the words honorably discharged. “But the letter he showed me…”
“Completely false. I have to admit, he had me fooled at first. I left him for maybe twenty, thirty minutes to play a round of faro. The next thing I know, he had started a fight and had to be dragged outside. I suppose it’s possible to get drunk in the amount of time he was alone, but given the circumstances, unlikely.”
“I don’t understand. What circumstances?”
“The bottle of whisky was still three-fourths full. I thought it strange at the time. But the next day when I returned to pay our tab, the bartender assured me that only the one bottle had been delivered to our table.”
Again, she lowered her gaze to the document in her hand. “Then how… Why?”
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