by Brill Harper
Tanaya draws a draft next to me, so I ask her, “What’s she reading?”
“Huh?”
“Annabelle. What’s she reading?”
Tanaya shrugs. “I don’t know. School stuff probably. She should be in better shape considering how heavy her books are. I tried picking up her backpack once and threw my shoulder out.”
I laugh, and she moves along. I immediately start worrying about Annabelle hurting herself with her backpack and have to stop myself. What the fuck is even wrong with me? She’s a grown woman. Not my responsibility. I’m already feeling weird every night I leave her in that apartment, now I’m worried about whether or not she’s lifting with her knees?
Not. My. Problem.
“Hi, Anker.”
I blink as the face in front of me comes into view. “Hi, Harmony.”
I get her normal order up while she engages me in conversation. She’s nice. Pretty. She remembers that I’m taking business classes and even asks about Mr. Costanza’s dog. She’s the kind of girl who laughs a lot, but not as a deflect. She’s just happy. Got a smile for everyone. She’d be a great date. An even better girlfriend.
But I look past her and notice the way the low lighting in the bar sort of attaches to Annabelle in an unexpected way. Like a sparkle almost.
Chapter Four
Annabelle
I FEEL NAKED WITHOUT my books. That's weird, right?
I can’t even sit at my booth because there are people in it. I think Tanaya got them to sit there on purpose, to force me out of my comfort zone. It wasn’t very nice. It’s not like my name is engraved on the wood or anything, but it’s my table anyway. Most people respect that.
Thor, I mean Anker, has been in the office for a while. I shouldn’t notice his absence, but I do. If I’m forced to people-watch without my book armor, it would be nice if I could people-watch the hottest one, right?
That’s not really my luck.
Tanaya keeps bringing me a new drink whenever mine gets too low. I wish it was working. I’d love to feel a little more loose and natural right now. Instead, I’m contemplating going home even if it means staying in the apartment by myself. How much of a wuss am I? I’m a grown woman who is afraid to be home alone. Logically, I know how ridiculous it is. And normally, I’m a very logical person. But not about this.
I catch the light of the office door swinging open but pretend I don’t. I don’t mind looking my fill of Anker, but I don’t actually want Anker to know I’m ogling. Besides, I’ve seen how well that works out for all the other women.
He’s not wearing a V-neck, but I find I’m done in by something unexpected.
Forearms.
He’s rolled up the cuffs of his flannel shirt, and he’s wearing a watch or an activity tracker on his wrist and the look about undoes me. I mean, I feel like I’m going to melt right into the stool I’m sitting on. He’s got thick, sturdy forearms, with just the right amount of hair to say “manly.” I take a quick sip on my rum and Coke to avoid heatstroke.
He’s talking to Tanaya and wiping the counter, and I’m hyperventilating.
I take the straw out of my drink and take a bigger swig, almost choking on an ice cube.
Tanaya and Anker both stop and look at me.
Perfect.
“You okay?” he asks.
I whimper a little, mumble something, and nod.
I’m pretty sure I’m not going to meet the puncher of my V-card here in this bar tonight. I’m kind of a mess.
Anker comes out to take care of a table, and the woman next to me swivels her head to watch him walk.
She pretty much whistles like a catcalling asshole. “Fuck, he’s fine.”
“He’s shot you down three times, Shar. Let this one go.”
“Nah. He’ll cave.”
I take in her outfit and the way she presents herself. She’s pretty, probably in her mid-thirties, and a lot of the men in the bar watch her when she moves. She shoots most of them down, too. I have a feeling that Anker is the whale to her Captain Ahab.
God. I need to stop being such a nerd. If I threw that book reference out, I’d get a lot of blank stares. How many people have even read Moby Dick? I’m just not bar material. I need to join a lit club or something. There might not be a lot of guys who look like Thor in it, but maybe they’ll know who Ahab is.
Shar catches her hand in Anker’s shirt as he is setting a tray of glasses on the bar. “I’ve always wondered what the office looks like, Anker. I’ve heard lots of stories about it, back when this bar was the swanky place in town. I heard Frank Sinatra even sang here one night, and that he spent time in the office with one of the cocktail waitresses.”
“Well, if that’s true, they were disappointed by the decor. The Costanzas put all their money into the lounge, the office is boring.” He gives me smile. “You need anything, Annabelle?”
I shake my head but notice he’s pleading with me silently. Shar has her hand on his torso now, and she’s rubbing it in circles. “C’mon. Show it to me, Anker. I want to see your inner sanctum.”
“Can’t.” He tries displacing her hand, but her other one lands on his waistband.
“The owners are never here at night. They’ll never know. C’mon. Live a little.”
He moves that hand and grabs the wrist of the other when she tries to touch him again. “My girlfriend would not be happy with me if I started giving office tours.”
Shar and I both inhale sharply. Girlfriend? I mean I guess it’s possible. He’s never said anything about one before, but it’s not like we’ve had a real conversation. I only know what he says to Tanaya when I happen to be in earshot.
“Yeah. She tries to pretend she’s not jealous, but I can feel her blood pressure rising from here. Right, babe?” Anker is looking at me. Right at me. His eyes are a little desperate again.
Wait. Does he want me to answer? Is he telling Shar that I’m his girlfriend? No one would believe that in a million years. I’m not his type. Not at all. I’m probably forty pounds more than most of the women in here. I don’t smile very often. I don’t wear makeup. I don’t go dancing or hiking or...
“Don’t be shy, Annabelle.” He leans down into my space. My personal space. “I think you’re cute when you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous—” My words are cut off because there’s a mouth on top of mine. He’s kissing me. He’s pressing his lips into me and then those big hands cup my jaw and he angles my head so he can deepen the kiss.
I’ve been kissed before, but there’s some kind of short in my wiring or something because I sort of forget what to do. Until I stop trying to remember and just let it happen.
His lips are soft but firm, and the scent of him, a bit of evergreen and something that makes my heart feel wild and untamed, invades my lungs. I sigh and then his tongue slips between my lips and every nerve in my body wakes up and suddenly remembers exactly what to do. I grasp his forearms, those yummy, yummy forearms, and pull him deeper, opening my mouth for him. He groans and finds my tongue and sucks on it like it’s candy and then I hear the glass breaking.
Chapter Five
Anker
A TRAY OF GLASSES CRASHING to the floor is a sound anyone who’s ever worked in a bar cringes when they hear. Sometimes, I hear it in my sleep, and it always wakes me up like I’m having a nightmare.
The sound of it breaks through my what the fuck is happening? fog, and I awaken suddenly like I was in deep sleep.
Annabelle’s eyes are wide, and they are blinking at me from beneath her glasses. Shit. Did I just force myself on her? Wait, no. She was kissing me back. She looks kind of pale right now and her eyes...her eyes are blue like the cornflower blue crayon in the box...
Jesus, pull yourself together man.
“What the hell, Anker?” Annabelle’s mouth isn’t moving, so that wasn’t her saying it. I shake my head to try and work out of this daze. Tanaya is staring at me accusingly from behind the bar, her hands on her hips. That was her
voice asking me what the hell. Behind the bar where all the glass must be. She must have dropped her tray when she saw me about to undress her roommate in front of the whole bar in my place of business.
“You’re kidding me, right?” Shar says next to me. She’s got the same look as Tanaya does.
I don’t even know how to explain what just happened. I panicked is one way to put it. I just wanted Shar to get the hint. She passed me a note earlier in the evening telling me she wasn’t wearing panties under her skirt, and I knew she wasn’t going to take being let down gently very well. Annabelle as my cover just popped into my head. I thought I’d sort of suggest she was my girl and give her a quick kiss and that would be that.
I’m still staring at her. My hands are still cupping her jaw. There is no “that would be that” about what is happening. I don’t know what is happening, but I wish I could go back five minutes and rethink the trajectory of events that got us here. I’m not convinced I would do it differently, though, even knowing what I know.
Because that was one hell of a kiss.
Her eyes are so blue. How could I never have noticed that before? And her hair is actually an assortment of colors when you really look at it. It’s not nondescript. It’s like an explosion of different shades of wheat and copper and...
Fuck, Beck. Let go of the girl.
I lift my hands off her face and take a step back. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like that in front of the whole bar. I’m sorry.”
She shrugs and slides off the stool. “It’s fine...um...honey. I’m going to wait for you in the office. I have some...important school stuff to do in there. Um...honey.”
I think she’s about to hyperventilate. I’m not sure sending her into the office alone is a good idea, but I need to get things back on track out here.
“You’re not mad?”
“We’ll talk about it later.” She pats my arm and then looks like she’s doing math in her head for a second. She stretches and pulls my head lower and kisses me on the cheek.
I’m not convinced that she’s not mad. But at least she’s not making a scene. Tanaya glares at me and leaves the bar to tend to her tables, so I get to work on the mess behind the bar.
Shar and her friend are having an argument with their eyes when Shar finally asks. “Are you really dating her? I mean I’ve seen her in here the last few weeks, but I thought she was Tanaya’s friend. You guys hardly spoke to each other.”
Everything in my body is tense. I don’t need to explain myself to this woman or anyone except Annabelle in the office, but I have to wait. I have work to do that won’t just stop on account of my personal life. “We were keeping it quiet,” I mumble.
The dishwasher must be done with his break because he joins me with a broom.
“So Tanaya didn’t know? No wonder she’s pissed.”
I feel like I’m digging my hole deeper. “We just wanted to keep it between us for a while. I guess I blew that, though.”
Shar looks like she wants to say something else, but her friend stops her. “It’s not our business.”
“She’s just so...”
“Shar!” her friend shouts. “Body positive, remember? We don’t shame other women. We made a pact.”
“You’re right. I’m being so petty right now.” She reaches down and buttons up two buttons on her shirt. Closing up shop. “I don’t want to be petty. She’s a lucky girl. I hope you guys work out.”
They leave. So I guess I solved one problem. But judging from Tanaya storming around the floor and who knows what happening inside my office right now, I’m probably still fucked.
Chapter Six
Annabelle
THE OFFICE DOOR SWINGS open, and I’m surprised to see Tanaya and not Anker.
“Oh, hey, Tanaya.”
“Girl, do not ‘hey, Tanaya’ me.” She looks like she’s about ready to slay a dragon. “Did he force himself on you? Because I don’t care if he’s my boss, if he—”
I get up off the couch. “No, no. I swear. He was just trying to convince the customer I was his girlfriend.”
“Well, he did a damn fine job of that.”
I sit back down. “I can’t believe he kissed me.”
“Kissed you? That was foreplay. In public. I have never seen him so much as touch a woman before. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Well, I’m a little confused. I’ve been sitting in here by myself for twenty minutes, and I have developed questions. A lot of them.” One of them is why there are no windows in this office. Windows a girl could escape out of.
“I don’t blame you for being confused.” She joins me on the couch. “The whole bar is talking about you two now.”
I bury my face in my hands. “What are they saying?” I ask, my question muffled in my palms.
“Well, there’s speculation about how long it’s been going on. Whether or not I knew about the two of you.”
I spread my fingers and peek at her between the cracks. “I’m sure they’re saying other things. Like, ‘Does she outweigh him?’ and ‘What is he thinking?’”
“Shut up.”
“I know I’m plain and I know I’m chubby. It’s not like I delude myself about it. Heck, I even dressed up like Natalie from Facts of Life for Halloween, remember?” Pretty much all I needed was a school uniform. I am Natalie from Facts of Life.
“Well, Anker didn’t seem to have a problem with your appearance when he was mashing into your face. Damn, girl. I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like that.”
“Not even Denton?”
“Especially not Denton.”
We both laugh, and it feels good because I’ve been incredibly tense while I’ve been sitting alone in this room trying to figure out what the hell just happened and what is going to happen next. I’m pretty sure I can never set foot in this bar again. Which is a bummer because I like it here. But I’m mortified.
“So, you need to find a new job where I can hang out while you work because I think this is going to get really awkward. Why hasn’t he come back here yet?”
“I wouldn’t let him. I told him I wanted to talk to you first. I had to fight him off at the door.” She holds up her fist. “Well, we stood outside the door, and I gave him a dirty look and he let me go first. But I think he wants to come in.”
“Is there a back door I can sneak out of?” A secret passageway maybe? I’ll take anything at this moment.
“No. You need to face the music on this anyway.”
I curl into a corner of the couch. “This is your fault. You wanted me to get out there. I got out there.”
“Not with my boss!” She stands up. “I need to get back to work. Try not to kiss anyone while I’m not looking.”
“Yeah. I don’t think he’s exactly who we had in mind for my punch card.”
“Well, you still need to get it over with, but I agree. He’s not the right choice.”
I cover my face again. “I’m going to fuck the first boy I see on campus tomorrow.”
“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” a gravelly voice growls from the direction of the door.
Anker.
Chapter Seven
Anker
I DON’T KNOW WHERE the primal jealousy is coming from, but I’m ready to rip to shreds any man that comes within a foot of Annabelle. I’m breathing through the rage, not sure where it’s even coming from.
“Oh my God!” she squeaks. “How much of that did you hear?”
“Tanaya, I need you back on the floor, please.”
She looks from me to her friend and back at me. She’s no longer angry with me, so I assume Annabelle told her the truth and also that she’s not pressing charges. I hope.
“Now, Tanaya.” I’m about at my rope’s end.
First the kiss that came out of nowhere, then trying to make sense of it all when I couldn’t even talk to Annabelle, and now this possessive urge replacing the marrow in my bones. I’m about to Hulk the fuck out.
Tanaya shoots one more
look over her shoulder as she heads out the door. I snick the lock behind her and Annabelle stands up.
“Did you just lock the door?”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want to be disturbed.”
I’m being an asshole. I don’t know why. She’s got my blood boiling, that much is for sure.
She blushes a pretty shade of pink. “Nobody ever comes in here but you.”
“We need to talk.”
She plops down on the couch. “Okay. This is the part I’ve seen you do a million times, though, so you can spare me the friendly wink so I won’t take it personally as you let me down.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I know that was an act out there. The kiss. I’m not expecting you to keep up pretenses. And I watch you try to let women down easy all the time. You don’t have to with me. I don’t have ideas about picket fences or wedding registries dancing in my head. I’m sure you think that because I’m plain and inexperienced, I might think that was something more than it was. Or that I might be a touch desperate. But I’m really okay.”
She really doesn’t know?
I’ve spent the last twenty minutes trying to figure out how to pass that fucking amazing kiss off as just an act, and she really thinks it was an act?
She doesn’t fucking know that I lost myself. That I’m still on edge. That when I heard her talk about fucking the next guy she sees on campus, I was ready to rip that guy’s head off. She has no idea that my cock has been rock hard since I touched her, and the slightest green light on her part would have me between her legs before she could finish saying the word, “yes.”
How can she not know?
I cycle back a minute on what she said. Plain and inexperienced were her words.
She thinks she’s plain.