“How do you expect to find Costigan,” he said.
“We have a private intelligence service,” I said.
“Well, be sure that we coordinate,” Ives said. “We don’t want a lot of people churning around in the mud obliterating the footprints.”
“We’ll be careful,” I said.
Ives nodded, straightened, and turned toward Quincy Market.
“Tally ho the fox,” he said.
I nodded. Hawk nodded. Ives left, crossing Atlantic Avenue toward the market.
“You think the Russians maybe winning,” Hawk said.
“Maybe their people are worse,” I said.
“Hard to picture,” Hawk said.
CHAPTER 40
Susan had set up residence in my bedroom and I had moved in with Hawk. The safe house had twin beds in both bedrooms so nobody had to sleep with anybody. Even if somebody wanted to. Which they didn’t.
“I assume this is not because you prefer me,” Hawk said.
I was getting a clean shirt from the top drawer of the other bureau—a squat thing with a warping mahogany veneer and ugly glass knobs.
“There’s a book by a guy named Leslie Fiedler,” I said. “Claims guys like us are really repressing homoerotic impulses.”
“Doing a hell of a job of it too,” Hawk said. He was lying on the bed wearing a Sony Walkman with the earphones on.
“Who you listening to,” I said. I had the shirt on and was buttoning down the collar. Not easy with a lot of starch in the shirt.
“Mongo Santamaria,” he said.
“God bless the earphones,” I said and went out into the living room. Susan was on the couch reading Psychoanalysis: The Impossible Profession. I tucked my shirt in and sat on the couch beside her.
“Coffee?” I said. “Juice? A twelve-course breakfast elegantly prepared by me and gracefully served by me also?”
She dog-eared the page to mark her place and smiled at me.
“I’ve started water boiling,” she said. “Why don’t I make you breakfast?”
“Certainly,” I said. “Mind if I sit on the stool and gaze at you across the pass-through?”
“My pleasure,” she said.
In the kitchen she put coffee in the filter and poured boiling water over it. While it dripped she squeezed some orange juice and poured three glasses.
“Is Hawk decent,” she said.
“He’s dressed,” I said.
She took him a glass of juice and when she came back the coffee had dripped so she poured three cups and brought one to Hawk. She wore white linen shorts and a pink sleeveless shirt with a big collar. Her legs and arms were tan. She turned on the oven.
I drank my juice and took a sip of coffee. Susan got out cornmeal and eggs and milk. “No corn flour,” she said.
“I didn’t do the shopping,” I said. “This stuff is all government issue.”
She took out a bag of whole wheat flour. “We’ll make do,” she said. She put dry ingredients in a bowl, added milk and eggs, and began to stir it with a wire whisk. I drank some more coffee.
“I know I haven’t explained very much to you,” Susan said. She was stirring the batter briskly as she talked. Her back was to me.
“Plenty of time,” I said.
“Dr. Hilliard has impressed upon me that I can’t keep talking about everything, that I need to set some boundaries on myself, do you understand that?”
“No,” I said. “But I don’t need to.”
She lifted the whisk from the batter and watched carefully as the batter dripped back into the bowl. Then she shook her head and began to whisk it some more.
“When you came to San Francisco last year, I began to draw away from Russell.”
She held up the whisk again and watched and made a small nod and waited while the batter drained off it into the bowl.
“I couldn’t leave him but I tried to distance the relationship as a start.”
I got up and came around the counter and got some more coffee.
“And Russell knew at once what I was doing and he … he hung on tighter. He put a wiretap on my phone. He had some people watch me. He wouldn’t let me come to New York last winter to watch Paul perform.”
“How’d he stop you,” I said.
Susan greased the inside of a loaf pan, using one of those spray cans. She shook her head as she sprayed it. Then she put the can down and the loaf pan and turned and leaned her hips against the counter with her hands resting palm down on it. Her lower lip was very full. Her eyes were very blue and large.
“He said no,” she said.
The connection between us was palpable. It seemed almost to seal away the rest of the world, as if we were talking inside one of those sterile rooms that immune deficient children grow up in.
“That simple,” she said. “I couldn’t do something he told me not to.”
“What if you had?”
“Gone away? Even though he’d said no?”
“Yes. Would he or his people have prevented you?”
I could see Susan’s top teeth, white against her tan, as she worried her lower lip. I drank some of my coffee.
“No,” she said.
She stirred her batter once and then poured it into her loaf pan, scraping the sides of the bowl to get it all.
“That’s when I went back to Dr. Hilliard,” she said.
“Back?”
“Yes. I started seeing her not long after I left Boston. But Russell didn’t like it. He doesn’t approve of psychotherapy. So I stopped.”
Susan held the loaf pan as she talked, as if she’d forgotten it.
“But when I couldn’t go to New York, and I realized I couldn’t leave him and I couldn’t move in with Russell, and I knew that I couldn’t give you up, I went back to her.”
She looked down at the loaf pan and stared at it for a moment, and then opened the oven and put the pan in and closed the door.
“And Russell?” I said.
“He was angry when he found out.”
“And?”
Susan shrugged. “Russell loves me. Whatever he may be elsewhere he has always been loving to me. I know you have other opinions of him, but …”
“Both our opinions are rooted in our experience,” I said. “Both of them are true, it’s just that we’ve had different experiences.”
She smiled at me again. “It can’t be pleasant for you to hear me tell you that he’s loving,” she said.
“I can hear what is,” I said. “All of what is. Whatever it is.”
Susan took a Cranshaw melon from the counter and began cutting it into crescents.
“Dr. Hilliard has shown me that what I feel for Russell, and what he feels for me, is not simply affection. When I met him he appealed to me most because he was so entirely in love with me. Anything I wanted, anything I said. He was like a child. He just loved me to death.”
“Sort of dangerous child,” I said.
“Yes,” Susan said. “It was part of his appeal.”
“The kind of love you deserved?”
Susan nodded.
“You found a way to both leave me,” I said, “and punish yourself for leaving me.”
Susan scraped melon seeds from the fresh-cut crescents into the sink.
“And Russell,” I said.
“I’m older than he is,” Susan said.
I nodded. Susan rinsed the seeds into the disposal with the spray attachment.
“And I belonged, for lack of a better word, to another man,” she said.
“Me,” I said.
“Un huh.”
“So what,” I said.
“What other woman in his life would that describe?”
I thought of Tyler Costigan sitting in her elegant Lake Front penthouse talking of Russell’s “fat little momma.”
I drank a little more of my coffee. “Hello Jocasta,” I said.
Susan nodded.
“Dr. Hilliard convinced me that I needed to be alone, to experience m
yself, to stay away from you and to stay away from Russell.”
“But you couldn’t quite manage on your own, so you called Hawk,” I said.
“I was afraid,” Susan said. “I wasn’t sure Russell would let me. I think if I had told him I was going away he’d have done nothing to prevent me. But he wasn’t going to let anyone help me do it.”
“So Hawk came,” I said.
“And you know the rest,” Susan said. She placed each crescent on the chopping block and carefully cut the rind away.
“Well, some of the rest,” I said.
Susan nodded. She found some green seedless grapes in the refrigerator and rinsed them under the faucet in the sink and put them in a colander to drip dry.
“I don’t understand it all yet either,” Susan said. “I need to get back to San Francisco and see Dr. Hilliard.”
“Someone around here wouldn’t do it?” I said.
“We’d have to start over,” Susan said. “No. I’m too far along with Dr. Hilliard to leave her now.”
Susan took a wedge of Muenster cheese out of the refrigerator and began to slice it thin with a big-bladed carving knife.
“Can you sit tight until we get this thing settled with Jerry Costigan?”
“I won’t sit tight,” Susan said. “I will help you settle it.”
I nodded. “Yes,” I said. “That would be good.”
I could smell the corn bread beginning to bake. Susan arranged her slices of cheese alternately on a large plate with her crescents of Cranshaw melon. She left the middle open.
“I don’t know when I’ll be able to sleep with you,” she said.
“Champagne’s as sweet,” I said, “whenever you drink it.”
Susan put the green grapes in the center of the plate. Hawk came from the bedroom still wearing his Walkman, poured some more coffee in his cup, looked at each of us and went back in the bedroom. Susan poured the rest of the pot into my cup and made some more.
“How are you going to find him?” she said.
“Rachel Wallace is coming up later and we’re going to talk about that. She’s been doing research for me. It’s how we found him the first time.”
“He’s an absolutely awful man,” Susan said. She opened the oven door and looked in carefully, studied the corn bread and then closed the door and straightened up.
“And his wife is worse,” she said.
“Russell’s wife said somewhat the same thing,” I said.
“You’ve seen her?”
“Yes,” I said. “She said Mrs. Costigan senior jerked her husband and son around any way she wanted.”
Susan nodded. “I have never met Tyler. She must hate me.”
“Yes,” I said.
“When Rachel Wallace comes,” Susan said, “I’ll sit in. Perhaps I can help by comparing notes with her.”
“Okay,” I said.
Susan checked the oven. This time she took the corn bread out and sat it on a rack. She set out three plates and knives and forks and white paper napkins. She put a hot plate out on the counter too, and put the second pot of coffee on it. Then using potholders she inverted the loaf pan and gently eased the corn bread onto a platter and put it on the counter next to the coffee.
“You’re willing to help me kill Russell’s father?” I said.
“Yes,” she said.
“You understand why?” I said.
“Partly,” Susan said. She walked to the door of the bedroom. “Breakfast,” she said to Hawk.
He appeared in the door minus his Walkman.
“Could y’all put it on a tray, missy, and bring it in to me?” he said.
Susan smiled with all her warmth and force.
“No,” she said.
CHAPTER 41
Rachel Wallace arrived by cab at ten twenty in the morning carrying a big briefcase. She put her arms around Susan and kissed her on the cheek.
“It is lovely to see you again,” she said.
Susan nodded.
“How are you,” Rachel Wallace said.
“Better than I was,” Susan said.
Rachel Wallace turned to me and said, “I have spent the entire summer studying Jerry Costigan. I suspect there is no one anywhere, including Mrs. Costigan, who knows him as I do.”
“It’s for damn sure you’re ahead of our crack government intelligence team,” I said.
“Government intelligence is an oxymoron,” Rachel Wallace said. “Have you coffee?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll need several cups, black. Quite strong.” She patted Susan’s arm. “It is good to see you here.”
Susan smiled and nodded again. Rachel Wallace turned to Hawk and gave him both her hands. “You too,” she said. “It is good to see you here.” She gave him a sisterly kiss on the mouth.
Hawk grinned. “You holding back,” he said.
The phone rang and Hawk answered. I was pouring coffee into the filter.
Hawk said, “Un huh?”
Then said, “You got a place we can call you back?”
I stopped measuring out coffee and turned toward him.
“Okay,” he said. “You call back in ten minutes. Got to talk with my man here.”
Rachel and Susan turned to look at him and we all stood in that suspended way that people do waiting for someone to get off the phone.
Hawk said, “Un huh,” again and hung up the phone.
“So much for the safe house,” Hawk said.
I waited.
“Man say if we want to know something real important about finding Jerry Costigan we should meet with him,” Hawk said.
“Have to talk with Ives about the security of his operation,” I said. “Where we supposed to meet him?”
“Man didn’t say. Says he’ll call back in ten minutes,” Hawk said.
I walked to the window and looked out. Without saying anything Susan got up and finished making the coffee. Below me Charlestown was going on undifferentiated.
“There’s no reason anyone should think we would care about where Jerry Costigan is,” I said.
“Less Ives’s people let it out,” Hawk said.
“Must have,” I said. “Guy knew we were here, had the phone number, knew we were looking for Costigan. Had to be from Ives’s people.”
“They could fuck up a beach party,” Hawk said. He looked at Rachel Wallace and made a slight apologetic head motion. She smiled and shook her head, it-doesn’t-matter.
“It’s a trap,” Susan said from the kitchen.
“Probably,” I said.
“Question is,” Hawk said, “who going to trap whom?”
“Whom?” I said.
“Whom,” Hawk said.
“We’ll meet him,” I said.
“Is that wise,” Rachel Wallace said.
“Might as well get it over with,” I said. “We’re compromised here. And the people setting the trap, assuming it’s a trap, might still be able to tell us something really important about finding Jerry Costigan.”
“If they don’t kill you,” Susan said. She was putting coffee cups, fresh from the dishwasher, onto a tray.
“Always with that caveat,” I said. “But they haven’t yet, and good people have tried.”
“I know,” Susan said. “But in this case it would be my fault.”
“Susan,” Hawk said, “we let somebody kill us, it our fault.”
“You know what I mean,” Susan said.
Rachel Wallace said, “It’s the way they live. If it weren’t your situation, it would be someone else’s. A few years ago it was mine.”
Susan nodded without speaking. But there was something in her face. I walked from the window, around the counter, and put my arms around her. She pressed her face into my neck and neither of us said anything.
The phone rang. Hawk picked it up and listened.
I murmured to Susan, “Sure we’re in this particular thing because of things that you did. But that’s not why you did them.”
On the pho
ne Hawk said, “Sure.”
“You did what you had to do,” I said. “The year before you left wasn’t good. So you did something to change it.”
Hawk said, “We be there.”
“I did nothing,” I said. “You took the step. Maybe not the best step. But a better step than I took. You do the best you can and you deal with the consequences. It’s all there is.”
Hawk said, “Un huh,” and put the phone back in the cradle.
Susan rubbed her face against my neck.
“Fish pier at noon,” Hawk said.
I let Susan go and walked back into the living room.
“This place is no good anymore,” I said. I looked at Susan. “Would Russell try to take you back?”
“He’d want me back. He may think you’ve taken me.”
“Would he force you?”
“No. But his father would.”
“So it could be to juke us away from you so they can take you back.”
Hawk said, “Yes.”
“What does Russell think you want,” I said.
“Time to be with myself and become someone who can decide for herself.”
“He understand that?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Me either,” I said.
“Now not the time,” Hawk said.
I nodded and went to the phone and dialed Martin Quirk.
“I need to put two women in a safe place,” I said. “One of them is Susan.”
“Congratulations,” Quirk said. “What about the government safe house in Charlestown?”
“Not safe anymore. Some of Ives’s people appear to have talked. Maybe Ives himself, for all I know.”
“Tsk, tsk,” Quirk said. “How quick.”
“Next half hour,” I said.
“Belson will come by in a car in about ten minutes.”
“Where will he take them?”
“He and I will figure that out after he picks them up,” Quirk said.
“Okay,” I said. “Thanks.”
“Oh shit,” Quirk said. “No need for thanks. The entire City of Boston Police Department is at your disposal. We’ve decided to give up crime-stopping altogether.”
Five Classic Spenser Mysteries Page 18