It’s been so long I forgot
kids are the biggest cock block of all time.
Even when you think you can steal a few moments.
She’d never sexted before, but her fingers were already typing the dirty thoughts running through her head.
And trust me, I am definitely interested.
Your cock is amazing. I really want to sit on it.
Is that all you want to do?
No. That’s just where I want to start.
I can still smell your pussy on my fingers.
Sloan took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom. She closed the door and quietly let out a noise that sounded like a peacock on helium.
We might not get a real
chance until they go see their dad.
I can wait.
“Bitch, I can’t,” Sloan groaned.
Getting to know you better will
just have to hold me over.
Sloan’s stomach fluttered as it filled with butterflies. She closed out of their conversation and called Xeni. She was too anxious to text. Thank god Xeni answered right away.
“You busy?”
“I’m a sexy ho in her prime, in one of the most bumping cities in the world on a Friday night. Of course I’m not. I’m crafting in bed and watching this documentary on serial killers. Why are you whispering?”
“I’m in the bathroom. The girls are asleep in my bed. I have a quick question and then I’m going to leave you alone.”
Xeni laughed. “You don’t have to leave me alone. And if this is about your ginger stud, you know I want to hear all about it. What’s going on?”
“How soon is too soon to ask a guy to be your boyfriend?”
After taking several knees and elbows to the kidney throughout the night, Sloan was surprised to wake up in bed alone. She was also shocked that it was almost nine a.m. and she’d woken up peacefully on her own. She lay there for a moment, soaking in the morning sun coming through her curtains. She closed her eyes, starfishing in the middle of her bed, and then listened very carefully. Her kids were definitely awake. There were no signs of fire or the distinct scent of blood, so she figured they could manage a few more minutes without her.
Sloan rolled over and grabbed her phone. There were more texts from Rafe from a few hours before.
Don’t rush.
I fed them.
Sloan shouldn’t have been surprised. It was literally his job. Still, a warmth spread through her chest at the thought that he had everything under control. She scrolled up and looked at the rest of the texts they’d shared before they’d finally called it a night and that warmth turned into a raging heat as it moved much lower.
Xeni deserved the Best Friend Ever award. She’d listened to Sloan’s confession regarding her spiraling feelings for the family nanny and gave her some sound advice. First, Xeni had needed to confirm if they had slept together yet. The answer was no, but damn were they close. As far as Xeni was concerned, there should be no boyfriend talk until they slept together. Yeah, things were great so far, but there was still a chance Rafe was terrible in bed.
And then Xeni had explained the layers of terrible. Terrible, but willing to learn versus lost cause terrible. Sloan needed to complete a bedroom evaluation on Rafe before she moved on to Do You Wanna Be My Boo. If the sex was bomb and she was really starting to catch feelings, then, Xeni said, it was time to slow the fuck down. Rafe was in her life and he wasn’t going anywhere for now. She didn’t need to jump to boo’d up talk one week in. What she did tell Sloan to do was ask him if he was seeing anyone else. It’d never dawned on her that he might be sleeping with other women, which, no shit. Why wouldn’t a guy like him be out there playing the field? She definitely needed the answer to that question before she slept with him.
If all of that was in order, then Sloan needed to ask herself what she really wanted. Fuck buddy, boyfriend or the future father of baby #3. There was nothing wrong with any of those options, but she needed to be clear about what she wanted before she had a serious conversation with Rafe. Xeni, best best friend ever.
They’d talked some more and ended up making plans for a girls night in that Saturday night. Xeni and their friend Meegan both had to spend Labor Day weekend with their families and once school started their schedules would be less flexible. Sloan would start up the grill, they’d get in some quality pool time with Addison and Avery, and after they went to bed, it was wine time. It was Rafe’s night off, so if he didn’t have plans she’d warn him that no fewer than four vivacious young women would be bopping around the first floor of her home.
With her Saturday plans well in hand, Sloan started to get up. Before she could make it to the bathroom, the instrumental version of “What Would I Do if I Could Feel?” from NBC’s version of the The Wiz started playing from her nightstand. Dammit.
She picked up her cell and hit accept. “Good morning,” she said, trying not to suck her teeth. God, she hated her ex so much.
“Hey,” Drew said, all cool and calm. “I got an email from the administrator at Whippoorwill.”
“With the school calendar, right? I made sure they had your email.”
“Yeah. I arranged a parent-teacher conference for the Friday before Labor Day.”
“Oh?”
“I’ll come down Thursday and then fly them back with me Friday morning after the meeting. I know you won’t mind them having a four-day weekend. It’s the holiday.” The girls were already staying with Drew an extra night due to Labor Day. He didn’t need another extra day.
“Actually, I do. I want them to finish that full week. I want to get them into a good rhythm.”
“Listen, you’ve already fucked up their rhythm plenty by moving. They’re only six. Missing one day of kindergarten isn’t going to derail their whole lives. Plus, it’ll give my mother some extra time with them.” And there it was. The real truth. Drew was going to hand the girls off to his mom. Susan was a nice woman when she got her way, but when Drew had the nerve to fight for visitation he should have just been honest about who was doing what when he had them.
“I’ll think about it, but I’d really prefer they didn’t miss any school so early in the year.”
“Okay. Well, I’m coming down to meet their teacher. And I want to meet this dude, Rafe.”
“This dude?” Sloan did roll her eyes then.
“Sorry. Your new childcare contractor.”
“Anyway. This all sounds great. Come on down and meet everyone.”
“You always sound so annoyed and you know what would make this all easier.”
“Easier for you and only you. I’m not moving back.”
“I’m just saying. My sister said they still had openings at Hyde Country Day School.”
Well, have some more kids with someone else and send them to Hyde Country Fucking Day then, she wanted to say, but she bit her tongue. She hated fighting with Drew. It always started off being about the kids and slowly became about how Sloan was incompetent in his eyes, in every way. She’d learned to finally stick up for herself, but when things got that far, when she was pushed to reminding him that she was almost fifteen years his junior and still a better surgeon than him, that all of her accomplishments seemed moot, especially when she broke down in tears. Just thinking about how far this shitty conversation could go was ruining her lovely sunny morning. She threw back her covers and quickly walked out of her bedroom.
“I’m wary of any private school that has openings a few days before the school year is supposed to start,” she said, thinking about how shitty it was going to be to see him next week.
“It’s a great school.”
“I don’t doubt it.” She stopped near the bottom of the stairs where she was greeted by the smell of bacon. She could hear the girls giggling and that was enough to turn her mood back around. “Do you want to speak to our children?”
“Yeah, I have a few minutes. Put Avery on.”
“Fine. Hold on.” Sloan dropped her ph
one to her side, then stepped into the kitchen. The girls were sitting at the island watching something on the tablet. The waffle iron was still out, but the kitchen was otherwise near spotless. Rafe and those blasted sweatpants were surveying the contents of the plasticware drawer. He was also wearing a muscle tee that showed off his glorious tattooed arms. He looked up at the sound of her voice.
“Love bugs, your daddy is on the phone for you.” Sloan strategically handed Avery the phone, then walked around the far side of the island just to stop herself from walking straight to Rafe and asking him for a good morning kiss. Still, she felt his eyes on her as she grabbed herself a glass of water.
“You want waffles, Dr. Copeland? I can make you waffles. Cinnamon and nutmeg. It’s Monica’s recipe.”
“I’d love some waffles.” She chugged half the glass, then turned away from the fridge, bracing herself for who knows what.
“Morning,” he said when she finally made real eye contact with him. She knew there was no medical chance for her to literally combust, but looking at him made her feel like anything was possible.
8
After Avery casually tried to rejoin their post-bedtime, adults only, poolside party twice, Sloan had had enough. She couldn’t bring herself to spank her girls, even though her own father had a special belt reserved for such occasions. Sloan instead found that a certain tone of voice deep inside her that conveyed she meant business was pretty effective when it was coupled with actual follow through. This time, the threat of no tablet time for three days was enough to get Avery to stay in her bed.
Sloan understood. They loved Xeni and the minute she showed up with her friends, Meegan, Sarah and Shae, all of whom were great with kids, they felt like they had a bunch of new friends to play with, which was all fun and games until it was time for bed. Sloan wanted to be patient, but she’d also been on edge for hours, ever since she’d gotten off the phone with Drew and she needed to unwind.
Okay, so Drew wasn’t the only reason she was on edge. Sloan’s work required intense focus. Her patients’ lives literally depended on it. It was easy to put Rafe out of her mind for a good portion of the day, but a few hours of carefully avoiding him while craving his touch to a ridiculous degree was making her a little stir crazy. She almost let out a sigh of relief when he went to shower and came back wearing jeans that made her think about his dick a little less.
Rafe had offered to stick around for the bedtime struggle so Sloan could get back to her guests sooner, but Sloan wanted to honor his time off. When she insisted that he flee the scene if he knew what was good for him, he made a call and an hour later, Monica swung by to pick him up. Sloan felt a twinge of something weird when she thought about him spending the rest of the weekend with his family. Whatever the twinge was hiding under its surface, Sloan decided to bury it nice and deep, and keep going on with her weekend.
She made a pit stop at the fridge to grab two more bottles of wine, then made her way back to the party. As she walked through the house, a fresh wave of anxiety hit her. She was new to this friend group and she really wanted to get to know them all better. Meegan and Shae had met though Shae’s cousin and her husband. Sarah and Meegan both worked at Whippoorwill with Xeni. Sloan was secretly grateful she’d met Xeni one fateful afternoon in a long Trader Joe’s line months before the girls had been accepted to Whippoorwill. There was no way they’d be spending time with a parent of incoming students otherwise.
Shae was an outlier too, but Sloan was sure that the fact that she owned Sweet Creams, one of the best bakeries in L.A., was the glue that kept their crew together. Gourmet cupcakes made everything better. They had been very welcoming to Sloan since Xeni introduced them all, but Sloan was also the only one with kids so she missed out on a lot of their lady hangs. She’d say navigating all of this took her back to high school, but she had no friends then because no teenager wants to hang out with an eight-year-old with a crazy high IQ. Sloan’s social development had been so screwed up that even at almost thirty she was never sure if she was doing it right.
She strapped on a smile as she stepped out of the door, then stopped dead in her tracks when she took in the scene on the other side of the pool. Meegan and Shae had been in the deep end when she’d carted Avery back upstairs. Now the four of them were sitting on the cushioned cabana benches, gathered around Meegan. She was clearly crying. Sloan rushed around to the other side of the pool.
“Is everything okay?”
“I accidentally poked a nerve,” Shae said, cringing.
“No, she didn’t.” Meegan wiped her face with a sniffle. “She just asked me about my kinda ex, Shep. Ugh, he wasn’t even my ex. I don’t know what the fuck he was. He was something though. I— I’ll just tell you.”
“We don’t have to talk about it if it’s making you upset,” Sloan said.
“No, it’s okay. I’m into, like, real kinky shit.”
“Real kinky,” Xeni mouthed, driving the point home with the face she made. Meegan was being serious.
“I had a thing with this guy, long distance, but he was really good to me. I fucked up and checked his Instagram and he’d posted pics from his honeymoon.” Sloan was still a little confused. Meegan had a huge personality, but Sloan didn’t take her for the type to sleep with a guy who was with someone else. She kept her mouth shut and let Meegan finish. “It’s so stupid. We stopped seeing each other as soon as they started dating, like right when they got together. But it still hurt.”
“I know, hun,” Shae said in a soothing voice.
“Literally, my last three play partners have gotten married. And then last week my Mistress told me she’s retiring, and she and her husband are moving.” Yeah, Sloan definitely didn’t know what was going on, but she felt awful. Meegan was sobbing even harder. Xeni pulled her close and rubbed her shoulder.
“It’s gonna be okay.”
“I just—I feel dumped. I knew this was coming, but I still feel blindsided for some stupid reason. It’s fucking hard to find a real Dominant who’s not just some psycho who wants to hurt people.”
“Seriously, I don’t know how you do it,” Sarah said, shaking her head. “I’d be too scared. Daniel and Keira kind of explained it to me and what they have seems so safe and happy and cuddly. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
“I am scared,” Meegan cried.
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know.”
“I wish I knew how to help, but I only know the people you know. This is one area where I don’t have an in,” Shae said.
“Marcos asked me if I wanted to move in with him and T.K.. I love T.K., but I just don’t know how not to feel like a third wheel.”
“I will literally never have sex with you, but you can move in with me. I’ll pet you and tell you you’re pretty. But I will never have sex with you,” Xeni offered. Meegan finally laughed and her tears seemed to slow.
“But that’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.”
“I know this won’t fix anything overnight, but it will be okay,” Sarah said. “You’ll meet someone.”
“I’m sorry, Meegan,” Sloan said, feeling a little useless. “Can I offer you more some wine or a cupcake I didn’t bake?”
“I’ll take both, please.”
“Here you go.” Sloan topped off her glass of Chardonnay and held out the platter of Shae’s cupcakes. She grabbed one without looking and went right for the frosting.
“Look at it this way,” Shae said. “You know how much of a mess I was when I met Aidan. I was just desperate not to be alone. I’m lucky he turned out to be awesome. Knowing what you actually want helps you cut down on the bullshit.”
“Hear, hear!” Xeni said, with two loud snaps of her fingers. “Be single with me for a while. We absolutely won’t have sex and then one day the perfect men with padded bank accounts will magically appear. We’ll both quit our jobs and become ladies of leisure.”
“Who’s the perfect man for you?” Shae asked Xeni.
&
nbsp; “A street magician with a long running cable show. Just imagine how much fun you could have with sleight of hand in the bedroom.”
“I feel like knowing what I want is almost a curse,” Meegan said. “Because what I want is so specific and now that I’ve figured out that I just want to be with one guy, I feel like there’s no way I can find everything I want in one guy. I’m doomed, I say!”
“You’re not doomed,” Xeni chuckled. “As my aunt likes to say, you’re in between blessings.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Meegan, you’ve spent like the last five years with several super hot guys at your sexual beck and call. Plus, Evelyn who spoiled the shit out of you. Now things are changing and you realized you want something different. Give yourself time to find it.”
“You’re right. I don’t know, I think I screwed myself a little. I thought the sex was all I wanted and now I don’t know—you’re right. Let’s talk about something else.”
“Sloan?” Sarah asked and immediately Sloan realized her mind had wandered, following Meegan’s frantic train of thought. She was definitely making a face. She shook herself.
“Sorry, what?”
“You look terrified.”
“Oh, I—” Sloan cleared her throat and glanced at Xeni.
“You can tell them,” she replied with a smile. “This is a safe space. A cone of silence surrounds us.”
Sloan rolled her eyes at Xeni’s hippie bullshit, but decided it was okay to spill the beans. “I’m not sure exactly what it is, but something’s happening with me and Rafe, our nanny.”
“I knew it!” Meegan yelled. The news seemed to snap her out of her funk. “I saw the way he looked at you before he took off. He’s definitely into you.”
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