see anyone, but you.
I wasn’t supposed to tell you that yet.
Rafe stared at his phone for a few long minutes. He wasn’t so sure Sloan had done that much sobering up.
When were you supposed to tell me?
After we had sex. If the sex was good.
Now Rafe had questions.
???
See?!? Us young people and all our dating rules?
It’s a mess!
Can I tell you something kinda silly?
That I probably shouldn’t tell you.
I’m terrible at secrets tonight.
Please. Tell me.
I miss you.
I like having you here and I miss you.
Even if we wouldn’t be in the same
room right now.
Okay, Rafe was positive she was still drunk, but he didn’t hate that whatever truth serum she’d chugged was working.
I miss you too.
I wanted to come back tonight.
I know it’s your night off, but I would have enjoyed that.
Your arms are warm.
Are you getting tired?
I am. I should sleep.
Goodnight, Rafe.
This was a good talk.
A really good talk.
Goodnight, Sloan.
Putting his phone back on the bedside table, Rafe let out a deep breath. Clearly, the next time he saw her he had to give Sloan the best dick of her life and then somehow explain why they made sense together. If he could make sense of it himself.
Sleep coughed up no answers. He still had feelings for Sloan and he still had no idea how to approach the situation. He wanted more than a roommates-with-benefits situation, but also didn’t want to rush something that might not be there. All he could do was talk to Sloan and hope like hell they were on the same page. When he went downstairs to fix himself some food, he found Hope in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by a million LEGO pieces.
“Whatcha got going on here?” he asked.
“It’s new. Dad found it for me. It’s the Millennium Falcon with Rey and Chewie figurines.”
“Oh, that’s cool.”
“We got the royal ship too, from Black Panther. But that one has less pieces so I’ll do it as a cool down.”
Rafe picked up both boxes and looked at the completed designs, and instantly thought about Addison and her puzzles. His mind flashed back to Hope and her first day of kindergarten. She’d been an oddly serious toddler, with an intense imagination. He’d been worried the other kids would think she was strange, but Monica knew she was tough and that she’d find her way. Sure enough, her love of fantasy became legend on the playgrounds and she became popular with the parents who wanted their daughters around kids with such focus.
“I thought you were sleeping over at Brittany’s.” Her fanfic buddy from math class was usually attached to Hope’s hip.
“I did. They dropped me off an hour ago. Church.”
“Oh yeah. That.” Weddings and funerals were only times the Whitcomb crew attended.
“It’s fine. I’m almost certain that in the cross-section of where science and religion meet, the essence that makes up our souls is safe.”
“I like that outlook. I’m gonna grab some food. You eat?”
“Yup.” She was already focused back on the pieces in her lap. That was his cue to leave her to her own devices. In the kitchen, his parents were still at the table, enjoying their coffee.
“I made a bacon quiche. It’s warming in the oven.”
“Oh, I gotta make a quiche this week,” he said to himself as he grabbed a mitt and pulled out the half full pie pan. He needed to pick Monica’s brain for new recipes before he left for the week.
“I saw Donna Demont last night at bingo. She said Kelly got her discharge.” A sharp pain shot through Rafe’s neck at the mention of her name. Kelly Demont has been his girlfriend on and off for a few years when he was a walking ball of pissed off testosterone, ages seventeen to twenty. She reminded him of girls from home. Tough, too mouthy for their own good, perfect for the Army. But their last run-in had been fucked up, for a lack of a better word.
All five and a half feet of her had challenged him to a fight and when he refused to punch her in the face, she offered to fuck the man back into him. He’d tried to talk to her about what the hell was going on, but she wasn’t hearing it. She wrote him later, during her next deployment, and apologized, but they both knew that relationship would never be the same. Kelly was a good girl deep down, but he wasn’t going there. Rafe sat with his food and tried to play it cool.
“Oh yeah? How is she doing?”
“Donna said she’s good. She asked about you.” Monica liked Kelly. A lot. She liked her for Rafe. “She’s thinking about flying helicopters privately. Donna said she’s in therapy too.” That actually made Rafe relax a little.
“That’s a good move for her. She did love being in the air. And the therapy.”
“You should call her. Or text her. Send her a tweet or a snap.”
Rafe snorted and almost choked. “I don’t know.”
“Well, if you’re not interested in starting things up with Kelly again, I saw Donna Smith last night too. She said Jennifer just broke up with that electrician she was seeing.”
“Baby, he can find his own dates,” his dad chimed in.
“I know. I just like to hand pick his dates for him. It’s my right as a mother. They move out, but I reserve the right to meddle in their love lives forever—until I get the right amount of grandchildren. And then I meddle in their lives.”
“I—” He didn’t need to lie to his parents, but he didn’t need to tell them the whole truth either.
“At the moment, my interest lie elsewhere, but my best to Kelly and Jennifer, and their moms.”
“There’s something going on between you and the doctor,” his dad suddenly said, like he’d just found the last clue between him and solving the crime of the century.
“There is… a mutual interest.”
Monica shrugged and let out a sigh. “Well. She’s a wonderful girl. He could do a whole lot worse. Extremely bright, of course, and she’s got a kind heart. I picked that up right away. Plus, her kids are well behaved, so she’s got that in check.”
His dad put down his tablet and adjusted his reading glasses. “You want my two cents?”
“You know I do. They’re worth their weight in gold.”
“I am wise. Figure it out now. Let her know what you want, what‘cher thinking. The longer you wait, the more complicated and involved it’ll get and then she’ll give birth to two more kids and you won’t know how to tell her you were only asking for directions to the break room.”
The air in the room stopped moving as Monica leaned forward so her whole upper body was practically over the table. She tilted her head to the side and her mouth hung open. She looked back and forth between Rafe and Joe. The standoff lasted for what felt like a few weeks. Joe even picked up his coffee and took a long swig. Rafe knew better than to laugh. This was their game and he didn’t want to egg either side on. He edged back a little and kept his mouth shut. Finally his dad’s lips tipped up in a smirk.
“Fine. I had it pretty damn bad from the moment I saw her and I had to beg her to go out with me.”
“I mean! There is no need to lie, Joe!” Monica said at the top of her lungs before she sat down hard in her chair. She sucked her teeth before she turned her to attention to Rafe. “I agree with your no-good daddy. Be good to her, but be up front. If you think you want something more or something serious, tell her. There’s no point in playing coy. Not in this economy. Not with this administration. Don’t jerk her around, Rafael.”
“I won’t.”
“I mean it.”
“I won’t!”
“I know she’s got the nice house and the nice job and the cars, but the last thing any Black woman needs is a White man making her life more difficult. If you can’t be what
she needs and what she wants, you leave her the hell alone.”
“You have my word.”
“I don’t need your word. She does. Your daddy may be a damn liar, but he takes great care of me. I couldn’t ask for a better man. Even if he’s full of shit.”
Joe stood, making a dramatic show of setting down his tablet, and walked over to Monica. She pretended to fight him off as he planted kisses all over her forehead and cheeks for a few seconds before she caved and kissed him on his lips. Before his mom passed away, Rafe thought his parents had a good relationship, but looking back, his dad and his mom were more like two people dedicated to keeping a roof over Rafe’s head.
They never fought, but they were never like this. His dad had real affection for Monica, even when they were giving each other shit. They made a damn good pair and Rafe realized then, no matter how long he stayed working for Sloan, he still had to move on with his life and he didn’t want to go through that life alone.
Rafe stopped at Target to grab a little something for the girls’ first day of school, and more condoms, then headed back to the house. He expected all three of them to be on the floor in an exhausted heap after wash day brought them to their knees. Instead, he was drawn upstairs by the unmistakable sounds of laughter and Beyoncé.
“Hey!” Sloan said when he stepped into the hallway. She was sitting on the floor outside the girls’ room, her phone in hand.
“You survived,” he said.
“Xeni found a braiding salon on Wilshire that takes walk-ins. Got their hair washed and braided for a wonderful price. Then we went out to dinner. There’s a chicken quesadilla in the fridge for you.”
“Thanks. Uh, what’s all this then?”
“Couldn’t decide exactly what to wear on our first day, so the only logical solution was a fashion show.”
“Makes sense.” He peered around the doorway and sure enough, they’d set up all of their toys and stuffed animals to mimic the audience at a high-end runway show.
“Are you ready?” Avery yelled over the music.
“Oh, we’re ready.”
Avery jumped out from behind her door, wearing a tutu over leggings and a bathing suit, with three t-shirts around her neck. Her hair was wrapped in a silk scarf covered in unicorns, protecting her fresh style.
“Oh, I love it, darling!” Sloan laughed. “You’re giving me fashion, fashion, fashion.” Avery walked to the end of the carpet runway, struck a dramatic pose, then turned and strutted back. Addison came next, rolling off her bed in a gigantic wide brim hat that must have belonged to Sloan. She was wearing an Elsa Halloween costume and teddy bear slippers.
“Yes, mama! Work! Work! This is too much fashion.”
Rafe watched, a huge smile straining his cheeks until they ran out of steam and outfits. Sloan announced it was time for bed. He helped get the girls into their pajamas as they told him all about their day and the nice women, Sherri and Tina, who braided their hair. They piled into the bathroom for some routine dental hygiene when Avery tossed out one hell of an inquiry.
“I have a question.”
“Baby girl, I have an answer,” Sloan said as she put away the toothpaste. “What would you like to know?”
“Can Rafe be our daddy at school tomorrow?”
“Uh... I don’t think so, honey.”
“Why?”
“Well...think of us like a team. My role on the team is mommy and Rafe’s is nanny.”
“It’s a very important role,” Rafe added in a weak attempt to back Sloan up.
“Well, you’re a mommy and a doctor. Why can’t Rafe be our nanny and our daddy?”
“Baby, being a daddy is a little more complicated. Plus, you already have a daddy and he’ll be here on Friday,” Sloan replied.
“Why can’t we have two daddies? One that lives with us and one who’s far away? Rafe has two mommies,” Addison said, making it clear that the two of them had already tried to sort this out.
“Rafe’s situation is different, honey.”
“That is correct,” he added.
“You’re not answering my question. You said that there are all types of families. You told us people have two mommies and two daddies all the time. Why can’t Rafe be our other daddy?” Avery said.
“Okay.” Rafe replied, like he actually had answers.
“Okay?” Sloan looked at him like she couldn’t wait to see how he was gonna solve this.
“I’ll explain. So, in this case there are two ways for me to become your daddy. One way is adoption.”
“That’s right,” Sloan said. “We’ve talked about adoption before.”
“It’s when you have a baby that you didn’t grow in your belly, but you love them just the same,” Avery explained.
“Exactly.”
“The other way is that I marry your mom. But there are a lot of steps before that could happen.”
“What are the steps? I want to hear all the steps.” Addison asked, her expression all business.
“Yes, please. This should be interesting.” Whose side was Sloan on?
“Step one: we meet.”
“Check. Go on.” Addison was really sick of his shit.
“Step two: we decide we like each other as more than friends. Steps three through forty-seven involve an intricate process with forms and interviews and off-site visits. I have to prove through another eighty-seven step process that I’m the right husband for your mom and, even more importantly, that I’m the right person to be your dad. You think nannying is hard. Try being a dad!” Both girls giggled at the way his eyes popped wide.
“How many steps is that?” he asked Sloan.
“Uh, a hundred and thirty-four.”
“See, yeah. That’s a lot of steps. I don’t know if we can complete all those steps by tomorrow. But I will be there for you as your nanny, a little bit of light security, snack vendor and driver.”
“Rafe is a part of our family. You see that, right honey? He doesn’t have to be your daddy to be with us.”
“I guess.”
“Now let’s finish brushing those teeth so we can say goodnight! Tomorrow is a new day and it will be a great day!”
Both girls seemed to give up Operation Daddy and focus back on the new school adventures they faced. After Rafe said his goodnights, he left Sloan alone with the girls and went to start some laundry. A while later, she found him in the kitchen heating up a home plate sized quesadilla.
“I think we should talk,” she said, before gnawing on the inside of her lip.
“Yeah.”
10
Sloan leaned against the counter and let out a deep breath. When she woke up that morning and looked back on the texts they’d shared the night before, she wasn’t entirely sure just how much of an ass she’d made of herself. Rafe seemed to be on the same wavelength. They’d only been apart a few hours, but they’d missed each other. That was cool. Made the butterflies in her stomach do a little dance.
She’d felt a little less silly when the girls had asked when Rafe was coming back a few dozen times throughout the day. They’d wanted him to come to the salon with them. It was Addison’s idea to order him some dinner to go.
“Rafe eats a lot. Even if he has dinner with his family, he’ll be hungry again when he gets back to our house,” she’d announced as they looked over their menus. They were clearly growing closer to him. Sloan should have expected they would want to know more about him, think about him as more of a permanent part of their lives, but she definitely wasn’t expecting them to ask her anything that would make her almost choke on her tongue.
Rafe, Mr. Calm’n’Cool, on the other hand, leaned against the counter beside her, his muscled arms crossed over his broad chest like he wasn’t the least bit shocked. “Do you want to hear my armchair child psychologist’s opinion?”
“Yeah. Actually, I do.”
“I’m pretty sure this has more to do with them liking me than them wanting us to be together.”
“Really?�
� She felt her eyebrow go up.
“Yeah. I didn’t meet Tess, but something tells me that if she was the type of person to walk out on them in the middle of the day, they might not have bonded with her that well.”
“Yeah, I guess. Tess was responsible-ish, but she wasn’t as warm as you are with them,” Sloan admitted. Rafe and Tess definitely had different approaches.
“I think they see us all together and think family unit,” he said. “I’m not downplaying it. It’s not nothing. They are thinking about the adults in their life, but it’s not something to panic about.”
“Well, look at you Sherlocking this whole situation.”
He shrugged. “When I’m right, I’m right.”
“Yeah, I think you may be onto something, but holy crap. I almost had a stroke.”
“Avery’s middle name should be ‘Keeping You on Your Fucking Toes’.”
Sloan laughed and dreaded having to talk to Avery about her own personal drama one day. She could already feel herself greying from the stress. “Well, at least we distracted them with the Truth of A Hundred and Thirty-Four steps.”
“About that,” he said. Sloan picked the wrong moment to look up at Rafe’s gorgeous face. The tip of his tongue slowly crept out and wet his full bottom lip.
“Yeah, about that.”
“I’ve been told that I need to make my intentions with you clear,” he said.
Sloan’s stomach twisted. If Xeni got a hold of his number… “By who?”
“Joe Whitcomb and his wife, Monica.”
“You talked to your parents about us?”
“They forced my hand a little. Monica tried to set me up with two different women at breakfast.”
“Uh—”
“I’m not seeing anyone else and I don’t want to, but you said there was something we had to do before we could even talk about this?”
RAFE: A Buff Male Nanny (Loose Ends Book 1) Page 11