‘Of course.’ She smiled a half-smile. ‘Can I ask why?’
‘I’d rather…keep it private,’ I replied. ‘I’m sure there’s people you wouldn’t want to know either.’
She lifted her chin. ‘Certainly not my husband.’ I couldn’t believe this was happening to me, didn’t want to focus on what I had lose for this financial gain. ‘Not yet, anyway.’
‘When do you want this to happen?’ I asked.
‘As soon as possible,’ she replied with a come-hither look. Oh, Christ. ‘So, do we have a deal?’
Fuck. Did we?
I couldn’t breathe, pulling the neck of my t-shirt away from my skin to try to stop the strangle. ‘Can you do something for me?’ I asked as I watched Stacey’s smile through the slit in the blind.
‘Anything,’ she said, the word rolling off her tongue.
‘Can you ask Stacey to grab you a coffee or…anything that means she’s away from her desk when I leave.’ I couldn’t see her, couldn’t taint her by offering a lie or a false smile. How could I face her when I was about to sign my own deal with the devil?
Anna balanced on the edge of her desk, pressing a button on her phone as she maintained steely eye contact.
‘Yes, Anna. What can I do for you?’
‘Stacey, darling. I’d love a latte from that little café a few doors down, the one where you get those gorgeous little flapjacks.’
I remembered the one, and wished I was going with her.
‘Oh. Yeah. Sure. Give me a sec and I’ll be right back.’
My lungs had shrunk to the size of a small toddler’s. I leaned forward, covering my neck with both hands as I gasped out for air. ‘Thank you,’ I said, pleased I didn’t have to see the one person who mattered more than anything. The irony wasn’t lost on me.
‘No problem,’ Anna replied, sweeping her hand though her hair. ‘So, let’s arrange our date, shall we? When are you free?’
21
Stacey
‘Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I asked, as Skye filled a basket full of brownies.
‘Yep, it kills two birds with one stone.’ The bite-sized pieces had been wrapped in cellophane with a sticker advertising Vanity Fur, Skye’s mobile dog grooming business. I wondered if it was a good idea to mix dogs and cake but decided to go with it and keep packing. ‘They’ll be like all, “Ooh, this is a yummy brownie and what’s this? A mobile dog grooming service. Just what I’m looking for.”’
‘It’s inspired,’ I replied.
‘And when we run out, we can go and eat?’ Will said. ‘I haven’t given up a weekend of catching up on sleep to spend hours freezing my ass on the seafront.’ We ignored him and continued to pack. ‘That was a question, by the way. Your lack of response is making me nervous.’
‘Yes. Once they’ve gone, we’ll eat,’ Skye replied.
‘And I get to hold Reggie’s lead because he’s a babe magnet.’
‘Bloody hell, Will. Yes!’ Skye whipped her scarf around her neck and pushed her arms through her coat. ‘Come on. These Ironmen need a sugary treat to keep them going.’
‘Yep, and a mobile dog grooming service,’ Will deadpanned.
‘Why did you invite him again?’
‘I didn’t. He invited himself.’ I chuckled.
I followed Skye out the door with Will and Reggie trailing behind. Skye had put him in a bright pink dog coat, with the Vanity Fur logo on his back. His back rolls had morphed it into a black smudge. Every so often, on the way to Brighton’s seafront, she stopped and pulled it back into shape, only for the smudge to reappear with every doggy step.
‘So, I need an update on the escort,’ Will said. ‘What happened?’
‘Nothing happened,’ I replied. ‘I just…woke up.’ From a dream I knew would jerk into a nightmare. ‘I haven’t seen him since he was at the office meeting with Anna.’
‘Where he smiled and melted her body into a puddle,’ Will said.
‘And don’t forget all the weird just-happened-to-be-here moments,’ Skye added. I shifted the basket to my other arm, ignoring them in the process.
‘Do you believe in fate?’ I asked, interested to hear Skye’s point of view because I couldn’t deny that bumping into him at my favourite places was making me question if some higher force really was pulling us together by an invisible string. But didn’t every couple believe they were made for each other? Destined to meet and build a beautiful life? What if Matt was the one, and this was the process I had to go through to get on board with that concept?
‘Yes,’ Skye replied, rolling her eyes. ‘This is a superpower. Out of your control. You gotta run with it.’
‘Well, I don’t know about fate, but I think you should hire him again,’ Will said. ‘I read the article yesterday and man, oh man. If the sex was that good, you should totally go for a second round.’
‘That’s stellar advice, as usual. Thanks,’ I replied.
The Valentine’s edition of Upfront had hit the shelves and my phone hadn’t stopped ringing since. I’d even had a text message from Tim asking how long I’d been banging a prostitute. I blocked his number and turned off my phone. When I switched it on a few hours later, I’d had seventy-four missed calls and ninety-eight text messages. Turns out, sleeping with a male escort was not considered your normal Saturday night entertainment.
‘I know things have been overwhelming this week, but things will go back to normal once it dies down,’ Skye said.
‘Will it?’ Did I even want it to?
‘What are you thinking?’ she asked. ‘You’re making me nervous. What did I say about falling in love with an escort?’
‘I’m not in love!’ I shrieked, causing Reggie to jump.
‘You’re crap at hiding your feelings, Stacey Clifton,’ she replied. ‘I just don’t want you to get hurt.’
‘I’m all for a second round,’ Will said. ‘Ding, ding, and all that.’
Skye looped her arm through mine. ‘Do you want to see him again?’
‘I don’t know.’ I didn’t, but I couldn’t help but feel like I’d lost something. Bereft. Did all his clients feel that way? A reminder that after a night with Matt, they’re still going home to an empty house, their love no longer there or hadn’t been found yet. ‘Part of me knows I should forget about him, but another part of me can’t ignore all these…signs.’
I watched the competitors of the Ironman competition as we reached the seafront. There were some already in the water, many still preparing to start. Will and Skye followed me down the steps onto the pebbled beach, Will lifting Reggie and placing him on the stones. ‘I’ve been reading books on relationships for the new article I’m going to write. A lot of them seem to be fixated on finding the wrong man at the right time, but what if I’ve found the right man at the wrong time?’
Skye sighed. ‘Well, if you feel you’ve met the right man, can there ever be a wrong time?’
‘Yes. If he’s in a job where he has sex with an abundance of women.’
Skye put her hand on my elbow, stopping me. ‘You’ve just said you’ve met the right man, Stace. Is that how you really feel?’
‘He’s almost the right man.’
‘Oh crap,’ she replied. ‘What if this is fate, stars, planets aligning, voodoo shit going down here?’
‘That’s what I’m saying.’
She bent down to straighten Reggie’s coat. ‘Jobs can change, you know. Circumstances change.’
‘Stace?’
I turned to find a god of a man zipping up a wetsuit. The same god of a man who fucked me through the wall a couple of weekends ago.
‘Matt? Oh, my days!’ I said, clasping my hand to my mouth. ‘What is going on!’
‘Is that him?’ Skye asked, cocking her head as she mouthed, ‘Voodoo.’
He pushed his wet hair back and smiled. ‘I’ve been roped in to this Ironman contest. I must be mad.’
‘This is—’
‘Fate?’ Skye asked comically.
&nb
sp; ‘Weird!’
‘So weird,’ Will mimicked as Skye smirked. I casually dug my fingers into his waist. ‘Ow!’
‘I was just talking about you!’
He held his hands out and laughed. ‘Someone is pulling our invisible string again, Stace. No other explanation for it.’
‘Or an Ironman competition that just happens to be in your hometown?’ I shrugged, hating myself for making light of this because it was starting to look like fate. I couldn’t deny it. Flashing signs. Blaring alarms. Clanging cymbals. And if I did ignore it, would I have a spate of bad luck for the next twenty years? Meet a man with a normal job, an average personality, and even more average penis size? One where I said, ‘He’ll do,’ full of regret when we had nothing to talk about over our ten-year anniversary dinner and pining for the escort I wrote an article about ten years earlier.
This was a conundrum and Matt in his wetsuit wasn’t helping. It was doing a lot for me, clinging like a second skin to his already amazing first. The bumps of his muscular shoulders and back were highlighted perfectly. I silently pleaded for him not to turn around because I’d be faced with his spectacular bum and I feared never being able to recover. The stretch of the suit barely contained the outline of his cock. A thick, meaty bump I remembered resting on my bottom lip just after I demanded he fuck me.
Take a breath.
‘Matt, this is Skye and Will, my best friends.’ I covered my face with my hands, still in shock. ‘I can’t believe this!’
‘Nice to meet you,’ he replied, shaking Skye’s hand and pulling Will in for a mutual slap on the back. ‘And this must be Reggie.’ He bent down—Lord help me—and held Reggie’s face in his hands, and proceeded to pet him. ‘He’s gorgeous.’
His bum was crying out to be touched. It was like a sculpture. A shining black abstract that art lovers would cock their head at for a better understanding of the sublime.
‘They say pets look like their owners, don’t they?’
‘That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me,’ I replied, genuinely touched. He laughed, but I wasn’t sure why.
‘What have you been up to?’
‘Not much. I’ve had a bit of a chill morning and now I’m here.’ I smiled and enjoyed the focus he gave me. Like I was the only person on the beach.
‘Would you like a brownie?’ Skye asked as she handed him one from her basket.
‘I told Stace this was a great name for a dog grooming business,’ he replied as he flipped over the Vanity Fur label. ‘Very Brighton.’
‘Do you live here?’ Will asked.
‘Not now. I’m based in London, but I still have family here. I’m visiting my aunt tomorrow.’ He threw his thumb over his shoulder to the guy behind him. ‘Ste, this is Stace. His parents live down the road. We do these competitions a lot.’
Ste waved and I immediately remembered him from the restaurant where I’d had my awkward blind date with Orlando.
‘This gets weirder,’ Ste said, smirking at Matt. ‘I read your article. Great piece of writing, by the way. I almost hired him myself.’
‘Oh!’ I laughed. ‘Thanks. I’m sure business will be booming.’ I noticed Matt taking a step back, his smile dropping a little. ‘My phone hasn’t stopped ringing. I was so conscious of Matt’s anonymity, I didn’t think of my own.’
‘Have you been OK?’ Matt asked, coming back to me, concerned. ‘Has it been difficult? You’ve not had trouble, have you?’
‘Nothing I can’t handle, but it is going to be harder than I thought to smash through the escorting stereotypes.’
‘You should have called me,’ he said, his face a mix of unease.
‘She should,’ Skye agreed.
‘Can we talk?’ Matt asked. ‘Bring your brownies with you.’
‘We’ll be over here,’ Will said as Skye followed him, Reggie lolloping in front.
Matt draped a towel over a deckchair and held onto my hand as I lowered myself down. ‘Hey, you,’ he said softly, dropping his eyes briefly but returning his full gaze to mine.
‘Hey.’
‘Tell me what’s been going on, gorgeous?’
‘It’s fine. I can cope with most of it, I just didn’t expect this level of interest.’ I shrugged and he shook his head.
‘You shouldn’t be dealing with this bullshit.’
‘On the plus side, the article has been one of the biggest talking points on social media in the last week.’ He grimaced. ‘You know my idea about giving classes? Meet with the escort who can pass on his tips?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I think we should run with it.’
‘I’ve thought about it,’ He said. ‘I tried to find venues but when I told them what I was doing, the lines went dead.’
‘We have loads of conference rooms at the office,’ I replied, smiling as a plan came together. ‘I could ask Anna if you could use one. It would be great publicity for Upfront.’
‘You’d do that?’ he asked, like it was the maddest idea in the world.
‘Of course.’ I watched the dark curls settle across his forehead. His hair was usually so perfect, set back with styling products and not a strand out of place. He looked handsome, boyish and beautiful. Free and totally in his element. ‘You look good in a wetsuit.’
‘I’m fucking freezing.’ He laughed.
I felt his hands on my face. He was cold, but it didn’t seem to matter. He pulled me closer and we rested our heads together, his shallow pants the most breathtaking noise in the world.
‘I miss you when you’re not around. I go to the supermarket and hope I’ll bump into you in the cereal aisle,’ I said.
‘I’m more of a bacon sandwich breakfast man.’ He smirked. I loved it when he did that.
‘I went for a pedicure the other day and half-expected you’d be reading a Psychology book as you had your cuticles seen to.’
‘I’m not sure what that means but I’d join you if you wanted me to.’
‘I feel like I’m constantly looking for you, but you’re always there,’ I whispered.
‘It’s the invisible string,’ he replied.
I ran my hands through his curls. ‘You know, in another space in time, we could have really happened. We could have worked but…we’re in different stratospheres, Matt. We’re too far away.’
‘You don’t believe that any more than I do.’
‘We can’t use fate as a way to make the other thing go away,’ I replied.
‘I’m sorry to break this up but the next race is about to start,’ Ste said, holding back a few paces.
Matt pressed his head to my neck, and I laughed as I caught him giving Ste the finger. ‘I’d rather be here, mate.’
‘I know, but they’re waiting for us to start before the next race.’
‘I’ve got brownies to hand out,’ I said as he pulled back, eyes shining as he watched me, a look of wonder on his face.
‘I’m here for the weekend.’ He followed as I looked away, tipping me back to him with his fingers. ‘I’m visiting family tomorrow afternoon but meet me after.’
‘Tonight,’ I replied softly. ‘What about tonight?’
‘I…have plans,’ he replied, and my stomach twisted.
‘Of course. It’s Saturday night, you have a date with someone else, and I’ll never be able to get my head around that.’
‘Stace, it won’t always be like this.’ He dropped his head and I lightly pushed his face back to meet mine, my fingers caressing the scruff of his beard. ‘I fucking adore you.’
‘Don’t...please.’ He closed his eyes, deep pain etched across his features. ‘I think you’re wonderful.’ Amazing, actually. I took a deep breath. ‘But nothing’s changed. We’re still in the same situation, you’re still in the same situation. Talk of fate and invisible strings doesn’t change that.’
‘Stace, I’m asking you to meet me, not bloody marry me.’
‘I know,’ I replied, my eyes roaming his wonderful face. ‘But you’re still
asking me for more than I can give.’
He nodded and stood up, wiggling his legs and stretching down to pull at his wetsuit, setting it back in place over the contours of the body I longed for. I caught Reggie running along the beach towards me as Skye and Will handed out the last of the brownies. Matt walked backwards, a small smile having replaced the pain. ‘I guess I’ll just have to wait until our next meeting of fate.’
‘You’re ridiculous,’ I shouted, covering my mouth as I laughed.
‘You’ll come around to my way of thinking soon,’ he replied, holding out his arms. ‘Once you’ve had Matt, you’ll never look back.’
‘You did not just say that! Oh, my life, that was bad!’
‘You’ll change your mind!’ And with that, he was gone, running down the beach to join Ste and two other guys as they picked up a boat like it was as light as an empty cardboard box, muscles flexing, rippling, rolling—Lord, please help me—just like the stormy sea he was about to run into.
I didn’t notice Skye and Will until they wrapped their arms around me.
‘What are the chances of that, hey?’ Skye said. ‘There may be something to this fate bullshit.’
‘Or he’s just really good at stalking.’ I rolled my eyes at Will’s unique take.
‘Thank you for being nice to him.’
‘Stace,’ he said. ‘He’s an escort, not a fucking murderer.’
‘Jesus, I’m so confused,’ I replied, covering my face with my hands. Will pulled them away, kissing me on the top of my head firmly.
‘Love your escort but proceed with caution,’ Skye said as she threw her arm around my shoulders.
‘Be fucking happy,’ Will said. ‘Life’s too short.’
‘He’s your love kryptonite,’ Skye added, eyes wide.
‘How could that possibly be a good thing?’ I asked. ‘Kryptonite kills Superman. Kills him! The…superist man in the world!’ I bent down and gave Reggie a face scratch, his favourite kind. ‘If he’s my Kryptonite and I’m a mere mortal, how would I survive him?’
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