by Cora Brent
I swallowed. The topic of my mother was still a bitter one. But I kind of wanted to hear Deck’s input so I asked the question that haunted me every day. “Do you think she’ll ever come back?”
“She’ll come back,” he said with certainty. “And then it will be up to you boys to decide whether you want to forgive her.”
He might be right. My mother was never the resourceful type and she wouldn’t last on the run forever. Plus even though she’d never said a thing in all those silent phone calls I knew the guilt was crippling. It had to be.
“What the fuck do you want?” A low voice emerged from somewhere in the darkness. There was a familiar click, the sound of a gun being cocked. I tensed, ready to charge or bolt or do whatever was required but Deck took the situation in stride.
“It’s Deck Gentry,” he called in a friendly voice. “Who’s that out there?”
“Gentry?” The voice was infinitely less hostile now and I pictured the gun being lowered. “What the hell are you doing skulking around out there, huntin’ rattlers?”
“Come closer and we can talk about it.”
Footsteps crunched in our direction and then we were bathed in the weak glow of a cell phone flashlight app.
“Hey man.” The guy greeted Deck with a fist bump. “Been a long time.” He turned to me. “Who the fuck is he?”
“Curtis Mulligan,” I said, now able to see enough of the guy to recognize him. His name was Ray Pritchett. “You know me.”
In fact I used to sell him stolen merchandise when I was about Tristan’s age. He was an asshole, once sliced the lower ear off a guy who worked for him when he thought he’d been cheated. When it turned out that he hadn’t been cheated and in fact he just couldn’t count correctly, he shrugged and had a hearing aid delivered to the poor bastard as a joke.
“Yeah, I know you,” Pritchett said and he sounded wary. “Thought you weren’t around these parts no more.”
I didn’t see any reason to beat around the bush. “I’m down here looking for my brother. Tristan Mulligan. There’s a rumor he’s been seen around here. He’s underage,” I added, as if this guy would give a fuck.
Pritchett pocketed his phone and took his sweet time lighting up a cigarette. I could feel Deck’s eyes on me in the darkness, warning me not to lose my temper. I wouldn’t, no matter how badly I wanted to wrap my hands around Ray Pritchett’s jowls and shake out whatever he might know of Tristan’s whereabouts. He kept puffing away on his stupid cigarette and I was sure he was going to tell us to go chew sand when he suddenly sighed, dropped the nicotine stick and snuffed it out under his boot.
“I think I know where he is right now. I can go tell him you’re here. If he wants to come outside and have a chat then I don’t really give a shit but if he doesn’t then you both should fucking leave.”
“That would be much appreciated, Ray,” Deck said as if the offer had been much more generous than it was.
I couldn’t see the man shrug in the darkness but I imagined it when he said, “It’s the best I can do.”
Deck clapped a hand on my shoulder in case I was tempted to argue. “Thanks again, Ray.”
Pritchett disappeared in the direction of the lights. I counted five squat structures among the lights, probably the stomping grounds of those calling themselves Evil Emblem. What a fucking joke, all this gang bullshit with their fake loyalty and endless brutality. When I was jumped in I remember being sure it was the greatest thing that could happen to me. I was part of something, a brotherhood. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. Those guys out there among the lights wouldn’t be any different from the Emblem Rioters. Just a pack of losers and lost souls putting on an act that they were tougher and better than they really were. It took me a long time to understand that real brotherhood was a whole lot more. It meant love and sacrifice and heart and home. It meant family.
Deck seemed to understand that I was too tense for conversation and there wasn’t much to look at out here so I looked up at the sky. The stars had never meant much to me until I walked outside one summer night and saw the world’s most beautiful girl staring up at them. Now it seemed like an act of magic that they even existed, that this sky was the same one Cassie might be standing in her backyard and observing right this minute.
“He’s coming,” Deck said. “Or at least someone is.”
“Where?” I craned my neck and made out the shape of an approaching figure. I couldn’t see much. It might have been my brother. It might have been Ray Pritchett.
“Tristan?” I called.
The figure came to an abrupt stop approximately twenty yards away.
“It’s me, Curtis,” my brother said. His voice was rather flat and unfriendly but I didn’t care. I ran to him.
“Goddammit, I’ve been so worried about you,” I choked out, closing the distance at a run and grabbing him in a bear hug whether he wanted it or not. He smelled like smoke and beer. Tristan tolerated the embrace for a few seconds and then pulled away.
“You okay?” I asked him.
“I’m just fine.”
I wished there was more light, that I was able to see his expression. This was like confronting a ghost in the darkness.
“Come home,” I begged. I’d meant to be less emotional but the words just popped out. “I miss you. Brecken misses you. Whatever happened, whatever you were running from, we can fix it. I swear I’ll never let you boys see the inside of a shitty motel again. We’ve got a new place, a real apartment in a good neighborhood. Everything will be better now, I promise. Just come home with me.”
He sighed loudly. “This is home. Emblem is home. I told you I didn’t want to leave in the first place.”
“There was nothing here for us anymore. Besides, you’re a kid.”
He scoffed. “The fuck I am. Five weeks, Curtis. That’s how much time is left until my eighteenth birthday. You were younger when you took off.”
I was younger. And I’d learned everything the hard way. I didn’t want him to do the same.
“What are you going to do?” I asked him. “Steal shit and crack heads until you wind up dead, burned out or vacationing in that damn prison? There are a lot of opportunities up in the valley, far more than there are down here.”
“Everything sucked up in the valley.”
I took a breath. This wasn’t going well. I changed my tone, tried to sound more like Cord sounded when he talked to Cassie, more like a caring parent than some clueless big brother who didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about.
“I know you’re in trouble, Tristan. Please tell me about it. Tell me and I’ll help you.”
He sniffed and shifted. “You can’t help me,” he replied sadly. “And I can’t show my face there anymore without losing at least one body part so just forget it.”
“We can figure it out together,” I said. “We’re not alone. We’ve got great friends who can help.”
Tristan acted like I hadn’t spoken. “I think I can really make good things happen down here.”
“Tristan. Please listen to me now. Nothing good is going to happen down here, not as long as you’re slumming around in a fucking gang. You think I don’t know what I’m talking about? I already learned this lesson. That’s why I’m begging you to get in that car and leave with us. I don’t want you to live the dirty life like I did and then wake up one day and discover that you’ve wasted years and abandoned your family. Come back, finish high school. I swear to you, whatever mess you’re in can be fixed.”
“High school.” He cackled. “Fuck high school. You never even finished fucking high school, Curtis. I was already held back a grade once. That should tell you it wasn’t meant to be. Besides, no high school can offer me the kind of education that’s worth anything.”
I was running out of arguments. Maybe if he wouldn’t come back for his own benefit he would do it for someone else. “What about Brecken?”
“He’s got you.”
“He was devastated when you left.
He needs you. We both do.” My voice cracked. “The three of us, we’re the Mulligan brothers, a matched set, like the three wise men.”
For a second I thought there was a chance, that maybe something I said had gotten through. But then Tristan answered me with the certainty of a man who would not be persuaded.
“I’m still you’re brother, Curtis,” he said. “I just can’t go with you.”
Tristan started to walk away. Then he turned and said, “Take care of Brecken. Tell him I’m sorry.”
This was agony. I couldn’t let him go. And yet I had no choice but to let him go.
Tristan whirled around and muttered a curse when he heard me chase after him. I thought he might take a swing at me but he let me hug him fiercely one last time.
“If you ever need me,” I choked out, “you come find me. I don’t care what you’ve done or how much time has gone by. Promise you’ll come find me.”
Tristan let out an odd noise and I thought he’d push me away but he didn’t.
“I promise,” he said and I could tell he was crying now.
He was crying just like the day he came home from the hospital and my proud parents placed his newborn body in my small arms. He was crying like the time he was six and crashed his bicycle into a dumpster, requiring twelve stitches to repair the damage. He was crying like the day our father was killed and he looked to his big brother to explain why this had happened to us and his big brother had no answers.
Then he finally did push me away and ran back to the place where he’d come from, a place where I couldn’t reach him. I tipped my head back and looked up at the impassive stars, wondering how many heartbreaking scenes they were watching tonight.
Tristan was nearly a man, at least in the legal sense. He wouldn’t be talked out of living his life the way he wanted and maybe I shouldn’t have been chasing after him at all. Maybe coming down here had been a mistake.
But I couldn’t have just let him go without a fight. I had to try. I had to try even though deep down I’d known all along that I would lose.
There was a gentle hand on my shoulder and Deck Gentry said, “I’m sorry, Curtis.”
I nodded. “Let’s go home now. There’s no reason to stay.”
As Deck drove us out of there I realized my feelings about Emblem were the complete opposite of Tristan’s. The prison we passed on the way out of town was just a depressing landmark attached to a place I’d once called home. I’d built a new world sixty miles northwest where I was an honest citizen who held down a good job and did his best to be a responsible guardian to his young brother.
And maybe, just maybe, that was the guy who could earn the right to be with an incredible girl. A girl who, against all odds, had turned out to be everything he never knew he needed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“Did Brecken go to bed already?” my mother asked when she found me sitting in the living room alone.
“Yeah.”
She motioned that she wanted to sit down so I shifted over on the couch.
“I like the new reading glasses,” I said.
My mother made a face and took off her glasses, peering at them critically. “All that staring at a computer screen all these years has taken a toll on my eyes.”
I glanced at the closed bedroom door where Brecken was sleeping and kept my voice low. “Thanks for not asking too many questions when I brought him home tonight.”
She nodded. “I understand. Your Uncle Deck called your dad earlier to say he and Curtis needed to take a trip down to Emblem.”
I sighed and picked at a piece of lint on my pajama shorts. “Yes. They went down there because they had a lead on Tristan’s whereabouts.”
My mother said nothing. When I looked up I found her staring at me intently.
“Don’t look at me like that, Mom. I know I shocked you today with all this hideous Parker business but I’ll be fine. I won’t go hiding from the world again. You guys don’t need to worry about me.”
“Oh, sweet girl,” she said softly. She reached for my hand and squeezed it. “Parents never stop worrying about their babies, no matter how old they get. It’s the job that never ends.”
I swallowed. “I’m really sorry for what I’ve put you through. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what happened right away. Curtis tried to talk me into telling you. He was right.”
My mother’s lips twitched and I could tell she was fighting a smile. “You seem to be getting very close with Curtis. I see the way you look at him, Cassie. And I’ve noticed the way he looks at you.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re as bad as Cami.”
“Cami’s good at figuring things out.”
“In any case you can both stop fishing for details. Curtis and I are not nearly as close as you’re implying.”
My mother cocked her head and surveyed me. “Is something wrong with your lips, honey? You keep touching them.”
I dropped my hand. Leave it to my mother to notice I kept discreetly running my fingers over my lips because I couldn’t stop thinking about that mind-blowing kiss in the middle of Curtis’s kitchen. He’d caught me by surprise even though I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to do everything with him. And I could feel how hard he was when he pressed against me. I knew how badly he wanted it too.
There was no more doubt in my mind. Curtis and I couldn’t pretend to be just friends. I think we were always meant to be something else.
“I really hope he’s okay,” I said. “I got the feeling his brother was in some trouble. When Curtis told me he was going down to Emblem I was afraid for him.”
“Your Uncle Deck is with him,” my mother reminded me. “That’s even better than having a king on your side.”
“You’re right,” I said, although I wouldn’t be able to really relax until I knew Curtis was home safe.
My mother stretched. “Well, I’d better get back to my office and try to get some work done. Romance novels don’t write themselves.” She patted my knee before rising from the couch. “Your dad is in the garage working out his rage on his new wood carving hobby. He’d probably appreciate a glass of ice water.”
She had a knack for subtlety. Instead of saying, “Please go talk to your father,” she made it sound a lot less dramatic.
In the kitchen I filled a glass with water and ice before opening the door leading to the garage.
Cordero Gentry was standing beside his corner workbench and frowning down at a block of wood. The garage door was open to allow a slight breeze to filter through but it was still pretty hot out there and I could see he was sweating.
“How’s the art coming along?” I asked, handing over the glass.
He accepted the water and shrugged. “I got this idea in my head to carve a falcon because I keep seeing one perched on top of a light pole close to Scratch.” He swallowed the contents of the glass in a few seconds and set it down. “The execution is proving tougher than I thought. Carving is far different than sketching or inking. The truth is, I’m not sure I know what the hell I’m doing.”
“Who does?” I muttered, taking a seat on a nearby hydraulic work stool.
My dad looked at me. It was a sad look. It was exactly how I didn’t want him to look at me.
“I would have killed him,” he said. “If I had found him hurting you I would have killed him on the spot.”
“I think Curtis was tempted to do just that.”
My dad took a few steps toward the open door of the garage. I realized he was looking down the street, in the direction of the park.
“I’m sorry, honey,” he said, facing away. I heard the crack in his voice. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. You know I’d do anything to protect you and your sisters and your mom.”
I had to swallow the lump in my throat. “Of course I know that, Dad. But it’s impossible to protect us from absolutely everything in the world.”
“The world,” he spat, anger in his voice. “There’s too many fucking bad people in the world. Even if yo
u do everything you can to make a safe home for your children, they’re still out there. Just waiting for a time when you’re not watching.”
My father never talked like this, using these bleak words. I knew he’d grown up in a terrible home. He’d suffered a brutally abusive father and a neglectful addict mother. His childhood must have been a nightmare. And he’d worked so hard to give us a wonderful life, a childhood so different from his own, a home filled with love and security. He must have hoped that would be enough to keep us from any harm.
I slid off the stool and quietly walked to his side.
“Yes, there are bad people out there,” I said. “But there are good ones too. There are men who might not seem like they belong in your life and then you find out they are honest and caring and trustworthy and everything you could possibly ask for. There are men in the world like…Curtis.”
He looked at me sharply when I said Curtis’s name. Then he looked away just as quickly and faced the dark street again.
“I had a call,” he said. “Just before you came out here. It was your Uncle Deck. They found Tristan down in Emblem. He’d hooked up with some lowlife pack of losers and he refused leave. Deck says there’s not much Curtis can do since the kid will be eighteen in another month so they left and came home.”
I processed this news and thought of Curtis, of how badly he wanted a good life for his brothers, of how hard he’d been trying to give it to them.
I swallowed. “Did Uncle Deck mention whether Curtis is back at his apartment now?”
My father didn’t answer right away. An old wall clock hanging above the workbench ticked away the seconds. I started to wonder if he’d heard the question. Maybe he just didn’t intend to answer.
“He’s there,” my father finally said and he gazed down at me.
I stared him right in the eye. He knew what I was asking, why I was asking it.
“Daddy?” I whispered, hoping he would understand.
He closed his eyes for a few seconds, then opened them and nodded. “Go on, Cassidy. Go to him.”
I touched his arm. “Thank you.”