Opening the Door

by Michael Roberts

When we made our way to that corner of the club I slapped her butt and said “Come on momma! Shake that little money maker and show me what you got!” Which gives credence to the saying ‘Don’t bite off more than you can chew’.

  I have never been good at dancing, but it wouldn’t have made any difference if I was. When she decides to cut loose Ann is in a league all her own. Every set of eyes in that place was focused on her. I tried to do my part as a dance partner but was hopelessly over matched and outclassed. This is her world and she is ‘The Queen’.

  Usually when guys see two women dancing without male partners they try to edge on in but everyone just gave us our space and seemed almost intimidated by her. When we were done dancing to two songs everyone around us clapped and cheered as we made our way back to the table.

  I managed to grab Cindy and asked her to make Ann’s drinks “Like mine”. After all I can’t let Ann get tipsy either. Although she must have burned off the alcohol from the first drink on the floor I didn’t want to take a chance on it. Plus it amused me that these idiots, who were obviously planning to get us drunk, were too stupid not to get drunk themselves. Meanwhile although we were only drinking coke, they were paying eight dollars a glass for it, and they were small glasses. Maybe I should change my name to Karma.

  We did this a couple more times, always going back to order more drinks from Cindy and then gulp the drinks down. They were getting more ‘intoxed’ as the night went on. So far so good. Now if I could only get them into a fight with some of the local talent my job here would be done. Since I was the sober one of the group I scanned the area around us and noticed the bouncers seemed to be spending more time in our section than usual. Maybe they could sense something was up.

  It might have something to do with the amount of booze we were drinking and the attitudes these dudes were projecting. Counting it up quickly in my head our table had gone thru at least $300 in drinks. Bobby and Jeff were getting drunk, impatient and angry. Good, glad to see it.

  That was why I had told Cindy not to run a tab. Then it hit me that I hadn’t had a chance to tell Ann that I switched our drinks to non-alcoholic. I know she is not stupid and could tell at the first sip that there was no booze but was going along with whatever was happening. I have always said she was smart.

  When we got back to the table from the dance floor I could see out ‘dates’ were both angry and drunk enough to be easy to manipulate. So I did.

  “Are you sure you guys are okay to drive home? We’ve all had a lot of booze and you might want to call a cab.” I was doing my best to slur my words and not look too steady. “I don’t think you can handle anymore.” I sat down heavily in the chair. “I know I am about done.”

  So of course they ordered one more round to prove how manly they were. If they only knew, real men have no problem catching a cab home. Better yet, real men don’t get drunk in a club across town and act like asses in the first place.

  My plan was to get to the front door where the doormen are and then tell the guys that they were too drunk to drive us anywhere. I was going to top it off by saying that we were going to catch a ride with a couple of the guys we met in here. I was counting on the fact that as stupid and testosterone poisoned as these two were, they would try to show how tough they were to the bouncers and would end up having their heads handed to them.

  It turns out that wasn’t needed. When Cindy brought the change to them from the last round (I noticed they never did tip her) I saw her stiffen and an angry look crossed her face. I realized Jeff had his hand on her butt!

  A moment before she could dump a drink in his lap I yelled “Get your hand off the waitresses ass! Stop trying to grope her and cop a feel!” Believe me when I want to be heard I can project my voice. Bouncers and doormen swooped down from everywhere and moved them out of the building. They were not gentle either. Cindy is well liked. We followed them to the front door of the club and no farther.

  Ann told everyone in hearing distance that she had enough. (Hooray). The two losers stumbled off to get in their car and try to salvage what was left of any dignity and pride they still had and drove away.

  We turned to go back in, but first I walked up to Dave to thank him and the others for helping us. I also made sure to casually mention that the only reason I was out with Jeff tonight was that I didn’t want Ann to be stuck with both of them. He seemed to be taking it all right. I had done what was needful and hoped it wouldn’t muddy the waters between us.

  When we got back in the club we went to find Cindy and apologize for what happened. Cindy is a good person. She said she understood and could tell those two were trouble as soon as we came in. She also said my idea of the drinks was smart.

  As soon as we sat down back at the table Cindy brought us two more drinks “from the guys at the bar”. Although we didn’t pay for the drinks we both gave her a big tip to make up for this evening (after all, everybody has to earn a living). Cindy put the drinks down with a wink and a nod in the guys’ direction. Ann looked at me and said.

  “Did you plan for this to happen?” No sense in trying to BS her. She knows me too well.

  “I didn’t expect him to grab Cindy’s butt if that is what you mean. I did ask Cindy to give me straight coke so I wouldn’t get drunk. I asked her to do the same for you too.” Hesitating a minute “Are you mad?” No, no, no. Please, please no!!!

  “I could tell what kind of people they were when they showed up at the house. You were right about him all along. Rico was right to warn me about him too.” WTF…. Why didn’t Rico tell me? “I could tell right away when the drinks stopped having alcohol in them, I saw you say something to Cindy when we came off the dance floor. I planned to call it off with Bobby all along. I know he is no good for me, this just helped me see it a little sooner.” She gazed off into nothing for a minute. “Thank you for looking out for me.”

  “Always. After all isn’t that what sisters are for?”

  “That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

  After a minute she smiled and said “I’m going back out on the floor. If you’re not really up to it and need a break then maybe you could see if Dave will call us a cab or something, for when we leave here.” Does she think I do not know why she wants me to talk to Dave about calling a cab?

  I watched her go out on the floor and smile at one of the guys who had bought us drinks. She seems brighter now, like she used to be. I could tell she had shed a burden she was not even aware of carrying around. People who had seem her dance before were enraptured now. While she had previously danced with a calculated abandon, now her dancing could best be described as ‘furious’.

  Smiling to myself I went to go find Dave and ask him about a ride home.

  Chapter Three

  About an hour after the unpleasantness ended the club was closing and Dave offered us a ride home. Ann insisted on riding in the back “To rest”. Which of course is BS, I know when someone is playing match maker for me. Strangely enough I didn’t mind this time.

  When we were a block from home a thought struck me. I told Dave to slow down and keep driving up Mallory Street so I could see if anyone we didn’t want to see was on our side street. Dave did as I asked. It is nice to be with a man who knows how to follow someone else’s lead.

  Of course Bobby and Jeff’s car was parked in front of my house as if they owned the place.

  Dave wanted to pull them both out of the car window without rolling it down. Tempting thought, but I kept remembering their two guns in the glove box. After I told him that he gave it some thought. He is not a coward or a blowhard, just smart. Damn, why haven’t I noticed this guy before?

  I told him there was a better way and pulled out my phone.

  “This is 911. What is the nature of your emergency?”

  “My name is Sarah Collins. My roommate and I were at a club earlier and there was an argument with two men named Bobby and Jeff. They g
ot thrown out for being drunk and mauling the waitress. They are drunk and mad that we do not want to see them anymore. They said they were going to “make us pay”. They each have pistols in the car. Right now they are parked in front of my place waiting for us to get home. Can you send someone to help?”

  After giving my address and saying I was in a car a block away all I had to do was wait for the police to swarm in. Ann and Dave had of course heard all of this and were staring at me. Ann spoke quietly from the back seat.

  “You know what the cops are going to do to them don’t you?”

  “Yes. That’s why I did it. We didn’t start it and all they had to do was walk away and leave us alone. Do either of you have a problem with how I did this?” There was a defensive anger in my voice. Need to tap it down some.

  “No.” Came quietly from Ann in the back seat.

  I looked at Dave thinking this will see how far we go with each other. He looked straight back at me without flinching and said “I think it was brilliant.”

  Perfect answer.

  Three of four cop cars pulled up at the house and it wasn’t long before they were being ‘cuffed and stuffed’ in the back of the police cars. We pulled up slowly and parked in front of Maria’s place. Ann and Dave stayed in the car while I announced that I was the property owner and the one who made the call. When they heard me saying that I was the one who made the call both guys let loose with fairly impressive streams of profanity from the back seats. I wonder if they kiss their mothers with those mouths?

  The cops were efficient and fairly polite, at least to me. They asked how much I had had to drink since I was not 21. I told them that I had only been drinking coke all night. I could tell they didn’t believe me. I offered to take an Alco-sensor test and it turned up negative.

  I felt insulted but did not let it show. Inwardly I was ranting: Drunk guys with guns are camped out in front of my door and you want to know if I have had any alcohol? Really? I guess if I had been drinking too then their behavior would have been acceptable. Dicks.

  On the other hand whenever you are using someone you should always be nice to them. It makes it easier to use them a second time. People were peeking out of the curtains in all the duplexes. I would have to reassure all of them tomorrow so they do not think this will be a weekly occurrence. I like my tenants, they pay on time and no one causes problems that requires the police to come. That, in my opinion, is perfect.

  When the police were ready to leave I asked about having their car towed by the city to the impound lot. The police didn’t want to do it at first but since this is private property I have that right and I absolutely insisted. I did not want those two to have any reason to come back here again. Finally the cops called a towing company that arrived promptly.

  This will cost those two jack asses some extra money to get the car out. Good, they deserve so much more but I guess for now moderation is the key.

  When the blue light circus was finally gone Dave pulled up in front of my place and suggested Ann and I spend the night together. “Just in case.” I had already thought of that but was glad to see that great minds think alike. This guy has potential.

  He waited by his car until we both got in the door then waved at us before he left.

  While she was waving good-bye to him Ann said “What a gentleman. Too bad he’s not seeing anyone right now.”

  “Okay Ann I get the message. Now go to sleep.”

  * * *

  The next day was Sunday. Ann and I went to the dollar store to buy four small wicker baskets and then to Sav-a-lot to fill them with fruit and candy. I went door to door to distribute them to everyone’s kids and apologize to the parents for the disturbance. I think they were happily surprised but pleased. These are the people who give me money every month and I do not want them to leave or feel unwelcome. Hopefully they all got the message. When Ann asked where her basket was I flipped her off.

  The next Thursday was Thanksgiving so Ann and I decided to continue our one year tradition of going to Golden Corral so we didn’t have to cook. We also asked Rico and Dave if they wanted to join us for dinner and then come back to have drinks and watch the game together.

  They of course said “Yes” and we all had a good time. I did notice that Ann made a point of sitting in my usual spot next to Rico, which worked out pretty well for me. When we got back home Dave and I ended up sitting outside saying we were both enjoying the nice weather before it began to turning colder. Ann smirked while Rico kept a carefully blank look on his face. That is a sure sign he is hiding something. My friends are such smart-asses.

  You can always tell if somebody is a smoker when you kiss them. Dave is definitely not a smoker.

  * * *

  Ann was whispering to Rico as she peeked out the window to check on Sarah. “About damn time. She needs to get together with someone decent.”

  “Like you did with Bobby?”

  “Okay, okay. Do you want me to say it again? ‘Rico you were right. You were right all along. I will never doubt your judgement of men again.’ There is that good enough?”

  “Just trying to be helpful.” He said as he sat down with another beer in his hand. “Dave seems all right, he’s a solid guy and won’t hurt her. She deserves someone decent in her life.”

  “If you weren’t gay she would be all over you in a flash. You know that right?”

  “Yeah she would want to, but it wouldn’t work out in the long run. I think of her too much as a little sister for that.”

  “That’s how I think of her too, as a sister and as my best friend. Which is not always the same thing believe me. She is a tough girl and has been through a lot yet still has a good heart.”

  “I heard how she handled the club scene the other night. Don’t think I would want to be the one to cross her. She’s smart too, she doesn’t try to show off but people can tell.”

  “She’s smart about some things but has trouble seeing other things that are too close to her.”

  “Isn’t that why she has you?”

  “Yes, it is.” Ann smiled as she closed the curtains.

  * * *

  Ann helped me choose what to wear as a receptionist for a lawyer’s office. (How does she know these things?) Why is it that men can put on any kind of bland shirt and tie to fit in anywhere, but women have to spend so much time to look perfect for the part society expects of us?

  I drove past my new job the day before I was due to start. I wanted to make sure I knew where it was and how the traffic flow was in the morning. It never pays to be late to work, no matter where it is or how temporary the job. Especially since I was really working for Beverly and didn’t want her to hear any complaints about me.

  Definitely my Pimp Momma.

  The woman whose job I was supposed to cover was both pleasant and efficient. But I could tell she wasn’t born female. Maybe this is why Beverly had that smile on her face when she sent me here. Maybe not. I will almost certainly never know.

  Her name was Marie and she had that office organized down to a science. It turns out that a good part of her day was spent going to the various ‘Clerk of the Court’ offices to get copies of documents for her boss. His name was Mr. Wendell and if he didn’t have more than a little sugar in his tank then someone would be missing a good bet. He was polite, but very harried. I think he is the type of person that will always juggle a dozen things at once. He’ll also do it well. I kind of liked him. I wonder if he would be Rico’s type? Best not to go there.

  Of course when I finish my day’s work in his office I have to go back to Beverly’s office to finish doing anything she needs from me.

  Usually there’s very little work there and she often leaves me a cupcake or donut in the fridge. On nights that Ann is working I sit at ‘my desk’ in the office and do homework online. I know that it is not permanent but I still think of it as ‘My Desk’. Th
e fact that Beverly trusted me enough to give me a key to her business means a lot to me. I do not want to ever abuse that faith.

  Later I usually call Dave to come by the house and watch ‘Netflix and chill’ as the saying goes. We had exchanged texts all week, just keeping it light. I wasn’t sure how far or fast I wanted to go. I found out one Friday night. Pretty darn far as it turns out. Pretty darn far indeed.

  Ann was banging on my door right after noon the next day. We had both swapped keys a while ago but neither one of us likes to barge in unannounced unless it is important. I think she also has a sadistic streak in her and likes to see me stagger around the kitchen trying to get my first cup of coffee.

  She was all but bouncing on the couch looking expectantly at me.

  “Well?”

  “Well what?”

  “How did it go with Dave last night?”

  I blew softly on my coffee to cool it down and draw this out for a bit. “We had some snacks and watched Netflix and chilled. That’s all.”

  “Bull Hockey! I got home after three this morning and his car was still parked here.”

  “We just watched Netflix. Really.”

  “There is a glow in your window when the TV is on. Did you know that? It was awful dark when I pulled up last night.”

  Busted. I grinned ear to ear.

  “Details!” She demanded.

  “Would you rather see the video we made?”

  Her jaw dropped.

  I couldn’t keep it in and had to break out laughing at her expression. “We had a good time and relaxed together. Then one thing kind of led to another. (A little shrug) He was very nice and considerate. He told me all along that he had a gig to work this morning doing some construction project first thing with a friend of his down the street. I told him to let himself out and not to wake me. I know he is working at the Alley tonight and we will try to get together on Sunday. Both of us want to keep this cool to see where it goes.”

  Time for a dig.