Opening the Door

by Michael Roberts

  I could only truthfully reply “I don’t see what the big deal is. After all if you can’t beat someone easily one-on-one, then just walk up behind him with a shiv or shoot the bastard. If you don’t want to do that you get a bunch of guys with bats and see how many of his bones you can break. Then when he is in the hospital, all you have to do is go there again and gag him while you break a couple more. That usually works to get your message across. If not then just one more time when they get home and are lying in bed always does it. At least that is how they do things back home.”

  They looked at me for a minute like I was crazy. So I smiled to make them think I was joking. They changed the conversation but I could tell they really weren’t sure if I was serious or not.

  “You know what is really a bad ass? Ice cubes.” Swirling my empty glass for effect. “After all they basically swim around in their own blood and you never hear them complain do you?” Everyone looked at each other for a minute. (Damn it, am I the only one here who has such a finely tuned sense of humor?)

  Dave stood up and said “Speaking of empty glasses, let me get you a refill.”

  * * *

  Rico watched Sarah and Dave head to the kitchen. He thought ‘She tried to play it off but she was dead serious. In many ways she is a broken person who has struggled to pull herself back together, but if you touch her wrong she will cut you till you bleed. Then watch with a smile as you do.’ There weren’t many things that scared him, but he knew that he wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end if she decided to do something about someone.

  * * *

  The party was nice and everybody seemed to have a good time. That’s a rare commodity these days. Ann had a date with somebody so we left a little early. I asked if this person was ‘Rico approved’. She rolled her eyes. Marie was smiling at that as we left. I think tonight will be a good time to reward Dave for all of the work he did on Bill’s lawn.

  It wasn’t until later when I was staring off into space, and listening to Dave snore that I realized yesterday was my birthday. Originally I might have wanted to celebrate but with Bill’s passing I just couldn’t. I am no longer a teenager and definitely not a kid. I only wish I knew what it is that I truly want to be when I grew up.

  The next morning Dave and I finally had our little “talk”. I think we both knew how it was going to turn out before we started. That’s why we waited so long. He is moving to Wilmington next week to work with his brother and start a new life. I am going to stay here and keep doing what I can to help improve the life I have. We are going to see each other when we can, but I know that we will slowly drift apart.

  Ann is waiting to see if I am going to break apart like I did with Jason. The truth is I don’t think I will ever love anyone with the same blind intensity that I did with Jason. First loves are like that. Jason got locked away forever and is in a different world. Dave is still in this world but going to a different place. We are taking different paths now. Damn, maybe I did learn something from that philosophy class.

  * * *

  Bobby sat quietly by himself at one of the corner tables in the jail yard. Most of the other people here were either playing cards or some kind of street thug basketball. He didn’t have anything to bet with and the ball players were way too physical for his liking. He had always considered himself a lover, not a fighter.

  His cousin Jeffrey had paid his fine and gotten out of here after only three days and left Bobby behind to rot in the city jail. He couldn’t really blame him for that. He would have done the same to him. The thing that was eating away at him was how that red headed bitch Ann was acting.

  She was ignoring him in here. He was supposed to be her man and she should have come down here first thing to pay his fines and apologize. Instead she wouldn’t even accept the collect phone calls he tried making to her.

  The other inmates would snicker and make snide remarks when that happened. He had tried to physically respond when they did that, but it hadn’t ended well for him.

  It may have been her little friend Sarah that called the cops but deep down inside he knew it was Ann who had put her up to it.

  Sitting here alone with his thoughts all he could hear was the sound of his old man’s voice whispering in his head. “You need to show them who’s boss or they will never respect you. Women expect to be shown who’s in charge. Making them go around in public with a black eye also tells the others what to expect if they mouth off to their men too. If simply slapping them around a little won’t do the trick then, Batter Up.”

  * * *

  Life goes on and there is always homework to do. Ben’s wife, Sally is having troubles with the class on religion. They invited me to their home on Saturday so she and I can study together. I am going to copy the parts of my Instructors Guide that she needs and bring them with me to give her. So far the professor has kept with the same sample questions they have in the back. Ann is working every night so it will be good to get out of the house and go somewhere different. We have mid-term exams next Monday so this should help.

  Since it is almost the 4th of July Ann made pastries with red, white, and blue frosting for me to take. She said something about never going somewhere with an empty plate, personally I think she just likes to cook and feels at home in the kitchen. Seriously, why has no man ever married this woman?

  Had a good time over at Ben and Sally’s place. He grilled some pretty good burgers out back while she and I went over the sample questions. I explained my system of studying. She looked at me for a minute before saying “This explains why you are always the top of your class in everything.”

  I admit it feels good to be complimented but I cautioned her not to tell anyone else about using the instructor’s guides. While not technically cheating it would definitely be frowned on at school. Worse than that would be if the instructors decided to begin making up their own questions instead on relying on the ones in the guides.

  When we got on the subject of boyfriends, or my soon to be lack thereof. I could see the gleam of a match maker in her eyes. Some women, especially married ones (who are pregnant to boot) see it as their life’s mission for every single woman to be matched up with a man.

  While this is thoughtful of her I want to be single for at least a little while longer. I told her how impressed I was when Ben mentioned first off that he was married and didn’t try to act like he wasn’t. (I know that made her happy).

  They were living in a house they rented and had just painted the spare bedroom a pleasant shade of green and fixed it up for the baby. Anyone could tell they put a lot of thought and effort into making it nice. This baby is going to come into this world knowing it is loved. When I asked if it was a boy or a girl they shrugged and smiled. Some people like surprises I guess.

  When Ben came back in the house carrying the burgers we changed the subject. (After all we don’t need anyone getting too big of a head do we?) They both obviously enjoyed telling me about life in the Air Force and how they met. Ben only has a year left on his enlistment and should have his schooling completed by then.

  She is supposed to be stationed at Langley for two more years before her time is over. If they decide to have a second kid then she will stay in at least long enough to get the military to pay the medical bills. I was thinking ruefully that I wish I had some health insurance. On second thought, maybe getting together with a military man wouldn’t be so bad.

  It is nice to see people without a lot of drama in their world who know where they are going and what their plans are in life. I wish I knew which way I was heading after I get out of school. Still totally blank about what I am going to do then. Or even where I will be when the duplexes are sold to the city. I guess it is about time to begin searching for some place else to live.

  The thought hit me that I need to talk about this with Ann, I am not going to ever be far from her. I need her in my life.

  After ou
r Monday morning meeting I asked Beverly if I could have a word. Since the others could hear us I said it was about the Buckroe account. She said she had a few other things to clear up first and would call when that was done.

  I had received something from St. Leo in the mail I wanted to show her. She called me on the intercom. I gathered up the letter from St. Leo’s and went in to her office. After all I thought good news is usually appreciated before asking for advice.

  She read it thoughtfully then carefully folded it and handed it back to me. “I am very proud of you Sarah. You should be proud of everything you have accomplished also. Not many people can follow through on things like you have been doing.” Definitely in Mommy mode now.

  I looked at her and said from my heart “If you hadn’t been there for me I don’t think I would have even tried.” Took a breath “I had to look up what a ‘Dean’s List’ was, apparently it is a good thing to be on.”

  “Oh yes, very good. Very good indeed.” Still smiling which is good “But that’s not the only reason you wanted to see me is it?” Damn, how can she read me so well?

  “I wonder what I am going to do when the property sells. I have not bothered Mr. Wendell but I feel I should have some kind of ‘fall back’ plan. Any advice?”

  “First off you are going to need a place to live. The money you receive will be enough to buy a nice place in a good neighborhood. Plus a little extra.” Not smiling, but not a frown. “Any idea where you would want to live?”

  “Some place decent but I don’t think I need to sink everything I make into it. Renting out property has served me pretty well so far. I was thinking about possibly buying someplace else just to rent it out.”

  “Would you like me to make an appointment to see a real estate agent who is a friend of mine?”

  Somehow I knew she would know someone she could refer me to.

  “Yes, but I still have no idea how much I am going to get from the sale or when it will take place. When your friend asks what price range I am dealing with what should I say?”

  “I will try to get the information for you. Meanwhile I think you have mid-term exams in three classes this week? Don’t slack off now.” Back to her Mentor mode.

  The mid-term tests were short and sweet. I love it when the professors take the questions straight from the book. Sally also got an ‘A’ so I know that made her happy. This also means that it is time for me to order next semester’s books and Instructors guides. Money well spent.

  I need to talk to Ann about what areas she would think about living in. Who knows maybe I will buy a duplex and we can each live in half of it. Actually that is not such a bad idea.

  Chapter Ten

  Ben called my cell when I was at work to let me know that Sally went to the hospital last night and delivered a beautiful baby girl. They named her Crystal, after Sally’s sister. He asked if I could pick up her home work from the class and let the professor know why she wasn’t there.

  Ben was so happy he was almost giddy. I could hear it in his voice over the phone and knew he was smiling from ear to ear. He said it had been an easy delivery, (for him maybe) and both the mother and baby would be home in a couple of days. I planned to see them Saturday. This would be time enough for Ann to make something special as a gift. (Hopefully cookies) I also promised to take notes for Sally in class.

  Ann was strangely quiet when I told her about the baby. She promised to make a triple layer cake with apples and some kind of sugar spiced frosting for the new mother but wasn’t looking as ecstatic as I expected her to be. She dodged the question when I asked her why but at times I can be ‘annoying persistent’ as she likes to say. Finally she opened up.

  “Don’t get me wrong. I am happy for her, really I am. It’s just that sometimes I wish I had a baby too.”

  Whoa, where is this coming from?

  “Sarah, don’t you ever want a little ‘mini-me’ to follow you in this world? Someone you can teach things to and watch while they grow into an amazing person.” I have no idea how to answer that. “Don’t you wonder what it would be like to have a baby in your arms that you could rock to sleep at night and wonder what they are dreaming of?”

  “Ann…. Sis, I really, really don’t think I would be a good mother to anyone. My main game plan so far has been not to get pregnant. I do not see any scenario where I would be worth a damn at raising a kid.”

  “On the other hand I know I would be a dynamite Aunt. I could take the kids and spoil the hell out of them before I brought them back and dropped them off to their parents. I would definitely be the crazy fun Aunt who let them do what mommy and daddy won’t allow. That and teach them how to get away with stuff.”

  She rolled her eyes as she was imagining the chaos I would cause.

  “Just giving you fair warning Ann. I don’t want to hear any grief from you when I teach them how to spot a con or fake signatures and forge documents. Not to men…..”

  “What signatures and documents?”

  Oh shit. Open mouth insert foot, again.

  “Are you telling me that you never faked a note from your mom to get out of school?” Time to change the subject. “What would you call your kids anyway? I am betting that you have had their names picked out for a while haven’t you?”

  “Of course, haven’t you?” She looked in the distance for a minute. “I would name a daughter Mary, after my mother. My son I would name Rico.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, not really.

  Finally. “I like those names. They’re good names for people. Especially little people.” Then I had another thought. “Ann, are you in a hurry for kids right now? I thought that might slow down your dancing options, at least a little.”

  “Stretch marks are pretty much a killer for the type dancing I do. I would like to do something different, but don’t have a lot of options right at the moment. Also I ran up a lot of debt a few years ago and everything I make is still going to pay that off.” Now she really has my attention.

  “I hope that by the end of the year I will be pretty much free and clear. Then I can start saving like you do and maybe go to school or something. Even without a kid, a dancer can only make a living for a certain number of years. After that you quit being a headliner and have to work in some not so good places where you can’t come close to making the money you used to. There’s other problems in those places too.”

  WTF…..Where is all this coming from?

  Aloud I simply asked. “What kind of debt?” I think she belatedly realized she had said more than she meant to. But it was a little too late now.

  “A few years ago I was with the wrong guy. He was wrong for me in many different ways. I let him run up a bunch of debt in my name. When I finally got rid of him there were even more unpaid bills. For the last three years everything I make, that I do not have use to live on, goes to paying off those bills.”

  “Why didn’t you just declare bankruptcy?”

  “You can’t clear medical bills with bankruptcy. I also took out a lot of different student loans with high interest rates in my name and gave the money to him.” Her voice is quiet. She’s in pain. “I can’t really complain, it was my fault for being so stupid when it comes to men.”

  “Bullshit. When a man is a shit head and takes advantage of a woman because she has a good heart then he is the bastard. Not her.” Now, how can I ask this without scaring her off before I get the information I need? “Does he live on the peninsula or South side?” I feel my inner-self growing cold. I want to meet the man who did this to her. I really do.

  “Oh he’s not around anymore. Rico talked to him and I haven’t seen him since. That is why I want to name my son Rico.”

  “Oh.”

  A long time ago she told me Rico had helped her out when some guys were trying to drag her into a car. I think I know who one of the people was. Good for him. I only wished I ha
d been there too.

  The next morning Dave left for Wilmington to work with his brother. Feeling lonely without him here. When I finish my schooling maybe I will consider moving down there to be with him. But until then things are the way they have to be. I miss him and probably always will.

  Both Ann and I were invited to Ben and Sally’s about a week later for a cook out. Sally said she wanted to thank Ann personally for the wonderful cake.

  Somehow I suspected there was an ulterior motive involved in this. When we got to their home the back yard was full of military men, and their wives. Not to mention half a dozen kids running around like screaming Indians and playing games that didn’t seem to have any rules.

  After we finished ‘oohing and ahhing’ over little Crystal, who really is a cute baby, we were introduced around the crowd. There seemed to be an emphasis on the introductions she made to the single guys. Especially when as soon as she introduced us to two single, and good looking, men Sally suddenly happened to ‘just remember something that has to be done’. She asked the men to keep us entertained until she got back. Some women just live to be match makers.

  I could tell Ann was having a good time so I went with the flow. The guy’s names were Jeffery and Allen. Both were mechanics stationed with Sally at Langley Air Force Base. They were obviously friends and more than a little easy on the eyes.

  Speaking of eyes, it is always good when a guy looks you in the eyes and not just at your chest. These guys were both very good about that. First impressions matter to me and these two were doing a good job at impressing us.

  While Ann did not actually say so, she gave the impression that she was a waitress at several clubs in the area. I know it must be awkward at times for her to tell what her occupation really is. Most people make bad assumptions about what type of person dancers are. I know I used to. Maybe one of the reasons that Ann mostly dates men who are working around these places is because they don’t judge her.