He’d taken to riding the SR from dawn to dusk, using hard labor to tire his body and exhaust his mind. It was the regrets that hit him the hardest, circling his thoughts like vultures waiting to pick the choicest morsels.
It rankled how much he tried to attribute a greater depth of character to Dee that simply hadn’t existed. She blindsided him again with the truth that Dylan wasn’t his son, his heart still smarting from her last and final confession. In her attempt to defend herself, she stated how devoted Logan had been to law enforcement, how she’d felt neglected, how difficult it had been to resist the attentions of John Moore, Dylan’s real father. She cheated on Logan, then dumped both him and Moore when Frank threatened her, forcing her to marry Luttrell.
With disgust and disillusionment, Logan had ridden away from Dee and a past he’d held on to for far too long. She had hurt and betrayed him then lied to him; she’d given him brief hope that Dylan was his son, then snatched it all away in the span of a short conversation. Moore could have her for all Logan cared, if the man could stomach all that she’d done to him.
Logan was finished with her.
His eyes burned as a gust of wind blasted him. Storm whinnied and Logan knew she wanted to head back to the ranch and a warm stall with a bucketful of grain. He started toward the main ranch buildings, with too much to occupy his mind as the days grew shorter and the nights colder. He lost far more than a son—he’d lost Claire. He’d chosen Dee over her, and in doing so had undoubtedly killed any possibility of regaining Claire’s trust. Maybe he and Claire could’ve had a chance if they’d had more time; maybe he could have made her love him.
At the main house, he had just settled Storm in her stall when Dawson caught up with him. “I’ve been lookin’ for you. Your ma wants you at the house.”
“I’m headin’ there. Anything wrong?” he asked the foreman.
“You got a visitor.” Dawson veered his stiff frame back to the bunkhouse.
Logan strode across the clearing to the front porch, taking the steps two at a time. He slammed into a woman in the entryway, knocking her off-balance onto her rear-end.
“Pardon me, miss.” He reached down to help her and she turned her face to his. “Claire?” No black wig or revealing dress this time, just strands of blonde hair escaping her braid and a dark gown that covered every inch of her.
Stunned, he stared at her as if all his hard thinking had conjured her from the howling wind that whistled around them.
She gazed at him with apprehension and regained her footing, removing her hand from his.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
She straightened her gown and took a deep breath. “I’ve come looking for you. Actually, I was headed outside to find you.”
He ushered her back into the house, closed the front door, and removed his coat and hat. He gestured for her to return to the parlor, hardly able to believe she was here as she sat on the overstuffed couch.
“It’s good to see you,” she said, but her face conveyed concern and Logan braced himself for a difficult encounter. Who was he kidding? It was difficult just looking at her.
Color blossomed across her cheeks, and he wondered how deep her reaction to him went.
“Where’s Jimmy?” he asked, standing like a sentry across the room.
“He’s here…with your mother, in the kitchen I think.”
“Is everything all right? Didn’t you get the money I sent?”
Claire nodded. “Yes, and that’s why I’ve come. You said in your letter that it was all the proceeds from the sale of the land, and…” She wrung her hands together. “It’s too much. I meant for Dee and Dylan to have some of it. You don’t have to give it all to us.” Her green eyes flashed at him.
“No. As far as I’m concerned, you and Jimmy are entitled to all of it. Anyway, Dee lied about Dylan.”
“What?”
“He’s not my son. When I found her in Virginia City the two of us finally sat down and had a long talk.”
“If Dylan is really Luttrell’s then he’s entitled to everything from that land,” Claire said, pleading her case.
“No. Dylan was fathered by another man, a man I knew. He owned several stores and saloons in town and as soon as she could, Dee ran straight back to him. She hadn’t been certain he would take her back, but it was clear she wanted him, not me. She said she lied about Dylan being mine to try and save me, to save you, fearing what Frank might do to us. In some twisted way, she thought she was helping.”
“I’m sorry…I’m still not certain Jimmy’s entitled to the land though, especially in light of this.”
“Dee told me Frank and Luttrell had been set to buy the property from the Maxwell Land Grant when Frank’s funding suddenly dried up, despite having recently bankrupted Maria Chavez’s husband. Luttrell offered to float him until he could buy back his share, but as insurance Frank pressured Dee to marry Luttrell, just in case. It all backfired when Teddy went back on his deal with Griffin, and Dee wanted out of her marriage. To make matters worse, Luttrell inherited a sizable chunk of money from a deceased uncle in St. Louis and Frank thought to get it through his sister. But Luttrell got paranoid and dragged all the money into the mountains to hide it. Maggie entered the picture because she wanted revenge against Frank, who was having an affair with Belle Mason. So Maggie romanced Luttrell and got him to deed the land to her through you. Dee was the one who told her about the money.”
“The local authorities were never able to pin Luttrell’s murder on Frank,” Claire said. “Do you think he did it?”
“Probably.”
“Will Dee be safe from him?”
“That’s no longer my concern. Luttrell gave the land to Maggie, albeit through you, so I can only assume that was his last wish. I checked and he has no immediate living relatives. It only seems right it should all go to you and Jimmy, what with your ma gone. In the end, the two of you paid the highest price.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Claire said quietly.
“Is that the only reason you’ve come?” he asked.
“No,” she said with a slight shake of her head, her expression pensive. “I’ve something else to tell you, and thought I should do it in person.”
Her eyes met his, the deep color of the forest, and he was struck by how much he’d missed her.
“I’m with child.”
A vision of Dee flashed in his head, her faithlessness and manipulations still fresh in his memories.
“You’re telling me it’s mine?” he asked.
Surprise registered on Claire’s face. “You think I’d travel all this way to tell you it wasn’t?” She rose and moved to the fireplace. “Maybe this was a mistake. I agonized whether to come at all considering I thought I’d walk in on a cozy little setup with Dee and Dylan. But it wasn’t right when she’d kept knowledge of Dylan from you, even though it turned out to be a lie, so I thought you deserved to know we were going to have a baby together.”
“There hasn’t been anyone else?”
She spun around with a fire in her eyes. “Anyone else?” she demanded. “How could there be, when I can’t stop thinking about you? No matter that I thought you married me for the land, that you deliberately didn’t tell me about your history with Dee because you were still secretly in love with her. I want you anyway, and it’s taken all my willpower not to grovel and beg you to take me back now that I know you didn’t marry her.” Tears filled her eyes. “I’ve lost my mama, but life does go on. But losing you has been like losing a piece of myself; the past few months have shown me how truly miserable I can be. This child is a blessing and a curse, because to have a part of you is better than nothing, but to be reminded of not having you makes me despair in a way I never have before.” She stifled a sob.
Stunned by Claire’s words, Logan felt as if he’d taken a horse-kick in the gut.
Did she really mean it? Hope clawed at him, but he refused to give it free rein.
“You asked for
the divorce,” he finally blustered. He couldn’t afford to be dragged through the mud again.
“I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Did you lie to me when I asked if you were with child?”
She shook her head. “No, of course not. It was too soon to know. And with everything that had happened…losing my mama and dealing with your betrayal…It was several weeks after you left that I realized…”
“After my betrayal?” he asked, incredulous.
“You never told me about Dee! What was I supposed to think when she suddenly showed up and you started protecting her?”
“A necessary end to a chapter of my life. I would’ve told you about her, in time. Unfortunately for us, there never was enough of that.”
“I didn’t come here to fight with you,” Claire said, her voice hollow, weary. “I wanted you to know about the baby and I couldn’t put it in a letter. But Jimmy and I will be heading out tomorrow.”
“Like hell,” Logan said. “You’re not leaving this house.”
He crossed the room, took her face in his hands and kissed her. She tried to resist, but he wouldn’t let her.
“You think I’m manipulating you,” she said, her lips against his.
“Are you?” His mouth devoured hers.
“No…Yes.” She yielded to him. “I want this baby to have a father, not to grow up like I did, and I miss you and…I love you.” The words came out in a rush.
She clung to him and Logan felt a void in his life disappear, an emptiness that spanned such a depth he’d had no idea until he’d been without her, no idea until he heard her say how much she needed him, how deeply she felt for him.
“We’ll get married again,” he said.
“What if we can’t make it work.” Claire buried her face into his shoulder.
“Promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“Don’t shut me out again.”
She gazed up at him, her eyes filled with worry but also longing—and love. “I won’t. I’ve missed you so much. I was afraid I’d come here and you’d be married to Dee.”
“I was prepared to make it work for Dylan’s sake. And you made it easy you when you asked for the divorce and told me you didn’t love me. I convinced myself loving you had been a mistake.”
“Do you still feel that way?” she asked apprehensively.
“No, but my pride kept me from finding you and telling you. Eventually I would’ve picked up my brains from the dirt and come after you.”
“I hope that’s true because I never stopped wanting you, but you needed to be free to choose. And so did I.”
“I told you I don’t believe in sacrifice.”
“It wasn’t sacrifice, Logan,” she whispered. “I finally came to know I had to follow my dreams, but it took me three months to realize it. It took me all this time to gain the courage to come here and tell you about the baby, not to bind you to me but to share it with you.” Her face held an expectant gaze. “Did you mean it when you said you loved me?”
“I never say anything I don’t mean. I thought I told you that once.” His lips came gently to hers. “And if you remember, I said I wanted a babe. Or two.”
“There’s something else you should know. I’ve heard tell there’s a women’s medical college back East in Philadelphia, and…”
Logan considered her rosy face and the spark of excitement in her gaze. “And you want to go,” he finished.
“Yes.” Her eyes became glassy. “It frightens me, but yes, I want to go. Or at least I want to try, after the baby’s born.”
Logan’s wandering tendencies had come to the fore. Roots had never been tied to a place—although he certainly felt at home here at his folks’ ranch—so following Claire made an odd sort of sense.
“Then I say we go,” he said.
She gripped his hand. “Is that truly what you want?”
“Well, if I could get you alone, I’d show you what I truly want.”
Her blush returned in full force and she smiled at him.
He folded her into his arms and knew that God had made his journey to the woman of his heart a difficult and painful one, but she’d come back to him. He wouldn’t let her go again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Three days later, Claire sat with Molly in the parlor. A fire burned in the hearth as they both took a much needed break from the festivities at the end of her second wedding day. Susanna pulled the event together in record time, a small crowd of friends and family gathering to celebrate. Already exhausted from her pregnancy, the ceremony—while a much sweeter affair than her first one to Logan—managed to drain the last of her reserves.
“Are you as weary as I am?” Claire asked.
Molly agreed as she leaned her head back and sighed. Her dark hair escaped the pins that held it in place, but it was clear she didn’t care. Molly never stood long on decorum—it was one of the traits Claire liked best about her. That, and her innate fortitude. She had shared tales of her time with the Comanche in a humorous tone that often belied the tragedy behind her abduction. Her strength never failed to inspire Claire.
She decided pregnancy agreed with Molly, her face glowing and a slight bulge showing beneath the lacy dress she wore today as Claire’s matron of honor. Molly’s baby was due to arrive a month sooner than Claire’s.
“I think I could sleep until tomorrow night,” Molly said.
Claire contemplated the woman who had become her sister. Not only had Molly saved her life after Sandoval beat her the first time, she brought her to Texas—she brought her to Logan.
“Did I ever thank you for finding me?”
Molly smiled. “Yes.” She rested a hand on her abdomen. “I haven’t told Matt yet, but I’ve a feeling the baby will be a boy.”
“Really? I haven’t felt an inclination either way.” Claire had been quite ill in the first few weeks and only now was able to get some needed rest. Lying next to Logan every night was the best medicine she could envision.
Her dreams had come true, but they were far from the innocent longings of the girl she’d been. She understood now that walking away from difficulties was too easy. She and Logan weren’t perfect, they’d both made mistakes, and they could have easily lost one another. It would take work to build trust, to compromise and mold their lives together, but she took heart in the knowledge Logan wanted a life with her as much as she did with him.
Molly squeezed her hand. “Are you all right?”
“Everything has happened so fast. My head is still spinning.”
“I’ve felt that way, too. Matt says I blew his world apart, like a stick of dynamite.”
They both laughed.
“He does need to work on his sweet-talk a little,” Molly continued. “But that’s all right. He makes up for it in other ways.”
They laughed again.
Molly’s expression became serious. “The pain of losing your ma won’t always be so sharp.”
Claire knew she spoke from experience. Molly’s mother had been murdered when Molly was a child.
“Susanna’s helped to fill the gap in my life,” she continued. “I’m sure she’ll do the same for you…when you’re ready.”
So many changes, so many unknown opportunities to come. Claire worried over them, but felt comforted by the fact that Logan would be with her. They would make a new life together.
There was a knock at the door, and Rosita came from the kitchen to answer it. The men were still in the barn with several of the wedding guests, and Jimmy was afoot somewhere.
“I wonder what’s wrong,” Claire said when Susanna’s voice became audible. Both she and Molly stood.
Susanna came from the foyer with a young woman, and Claire thought she appeared familiar. Chestnut hair hung in a braid, and her face and hands were darkened from the sun. A heavy wool shawl covered a dirt-stained white blouse and a ragged cotton skirt. She appeared cold and utterly exhausted, but more than that, she seemed defeated at some
basic level.
Recognition hit Claire. The girl resembled Molly.
The young woman spoke first. “Molly? Is it really you?”
Molly nodded slowly, clearly shocked by the sudden arrival of the stranger. But Claire knew this was no intruder. It had to be the youngest Hart daughter, Emma—Molly's sister. They'd been separated for ten years since the night their parents had been murdered and Molly captured by the Comanche. Everyone—including Emma, who had been raised in San Francisco by an aunt during the ensuing years—thought Molly dead until this past spring.
“Emma?” Molly said thickly. She moved quickly to embrace her sister. “I’ve missed you so much. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” Her voice hitched on a sob. “How did you get here? We received word from Aunt Catherine that you’d gone to the Grand Canyon.”
“I can’t believe you’re alive,” Emma whispered, her face buried against Molly’s shoulder. “I dreamt it over and over, but when Nathan told me I could hardly believe it.”
Molly leaned back. “Then he found you?”
Emma nodded.
“Is he here?”
Emma’s eyes filled with tears. “No, he’s not with me. I thought he might be here, waiting, with you.”
“Shhh, it’s alright.” Molly smoothed away wisps of Emma’s hair that clung to her wet cheeks. “We’ll figure it all out.” She put her arms around her sister once again, hugging her fiercely. “Thank God you’re here, and that you’re safe and well.”
Claire saw the concern on Susanna’s face. Logan had told her that Nathan Blackmore, an old friend of Matt’s, had gone in search of Emma Hart after the Ryan’s had received a letter from Catherine—the Hart’s aunt—that Emma had run off to Arizona Territory.
“Mr. Blackmore is a Ranger,” Claire said, her tone hopeful. “He can certainly handle himself in any situation.”
Molly nodded. “Claire’s right. I’ll talk to Matt. He’ll know what to do.” Holding her sister close, she said fiercely, “I’m so glad to see you. Where have you come from?”
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