by Rachel Burns
People laughed and clapped loudly for us.
I looked over at Collin. He was the only one here who wasn’t smiling.
Master pulled me around by my hand. He smiled at me again and again.
I remained quiet and said nothing.
I was glad when I got to go to bed. I cuddled into the corner and fell right to sleep.
Chapter 8 – Merry Christmas
Many hands were grabbing me. The black pillowcase was shoved over my head. A new voice was mixed in with familiar ones. We were running down the stairs and down again to the basement. That meant a couple of hours of pure pain for me.
This had to end. This had been going on for six months already. I could feel myself cracking. I had to get out of this situation.
I had to kill myself.
The pillowcase was removed. There weren’t any cameramen around. I remembered that today was Christmas. A man grabbed my face. Someone else was tying my hands behind my back. Why were they doing this to me? Why today?
It went on for three hours. I was a mess of sobs after half an hour. The man complained to Master that I was too thin again and again.
They hung me upside down from the ceiling and beat me. I was so scared. They were in a frenzy as they took turns beating me.
Master cut me down, and then they tied me to a table with my legs spread wide open like I was doing side splits. Master caned the inside of my legs and in between my legs. They took me one after the other.
They left then, turning out the lights. I was tied up so tightly that I couldn’t move at all.
I prayed to God. I wanted him to take me, so this could be over with. I was even mad at him that he had let this go on for so long.
I wasn’t sure if I had passed out or if I fell asleep from exhaustion.
Master slapped me awake. “Merry Christmas, slave. Did you like your gift?” He had showered and dressed. He was wearing casual clothes but finer ones. I frowned at him. That was the only answer that he was going to get.
He untied me and pinched my ear in his fingers. He walked up the stairs and stopped at the top to answer some of Greg’s questions. They were setting up a Christmas meal in the club.
Master moved his hand down to his hip, which meant that I had to move my head along with his hand. He kept me there while he talked. Some of the girls who only came by to make movies were also going to be there. Master’s mood had improved since yesterday. He shoved me into the ground floor bathroom, saying ‘Clean up’.
I could hardly stand, so I sat down in the shower and let the water run over me as I was curled up in a ball. I would never have that clean feeling again.
Master opened the door and stood in it. I looked over at him. I still had my knees pulled to my chest, and my arms wrapped around them. “Hurry up. If I have to come back, you won’t get fed.” He let the door fall shut.
I got up and turned the water off. I would kill myself the next time I was in the kitchen. The knives were dull, but if I put all of my energy in it, I could kill myself. It had to work. I was so desperate now.
Even if I got my life back, it would be a life of fear and looking over my shoulder. This was the only way out.
I dried myself off with the mini paper towels that were in there. I dried my hair for a bit under the dryer that was there for drying hands. It turned off so easily, and I had the wave my hands under it to get it going again.
I was only half way dry when I went out. I dropped down to my hands and knees and crawled into Master’s office.
He was talking to a young woman who wasn’t so sure if she wanted to do another movie. I crawled under the sofa, and she watched me. I knew that my timing couldn’t have been worse. She was looking at my body, wondering if she could survive doing that again.
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea. Once was enough,” she told him.
“Hey, she likes it especially rough. Don’t decide based on her. Remember how it was for you. We listened to you and stopped when you wanted. You were safe the whole time. It would be exactly like that again. We are even going to bring out a bloopers DVD. You want to see it? I have a bit of it on my computer.” He smiled at her nicely as he clicked away on his computer.
I heard them making jokes and laughing. I heard Todd asking a woman if she was all right, then more laughing. The women laughed to. One complained that she was really hurt. She said. Knock it off, Rick, and he laughed with her.
What I heard was a whole other world to what I knew. I rolled away from them. I cried under his sofa. I was the most hated thing in the world.
The woman agreed to come back for a film in the beginning of January. She squealed in delight when she saw herself.
Master always got what he wanted.
I never did.
“Becca, wake up. It’s time to eat.” Master kicked me gently in the back.
I stretched and crawl out after him. He went into the club. He sat in the middle of the table, and I was behind his chair.
Master toasted his guests, and then he sat down. They even exchanged gifts. Master had something for everyone.
I could smell the turkey from my spot on the floor. My mouth watered as they talked about the dirty bondage playing cards that all the customers would be getting this evening. They had ties with bondage scenes on them too.
Master wanted a very special program for this evening. He had planned something with Stacy, but she quit yesterday. “She was going to play the piano and sing a song about cheating on her boyfriend. Can anyone else play the piano?” he asked.
They were all quiet. It surprised me that Stacy could. Playing the piano required a lot of time, as well as years of practice.
Someone threw a piece of meat on the floor by my face. I picked it up with my teeth and ate it as quick as any dog could have.
“Hey, stop that. There’s a carpet in here. You can only do that in the kitchen,” Master barked at someone.
I was sad. I wouldn’t get fed again today. Throwing food on the floor for me had lost their interest. They didn’t have as much fun with it anymore. I was really starving.
“Becca?”
“Yes, Master.” I whispered.
“Can you play the piano?” He turned a little in his chair, so he could see me.
I didn’t answer.
He turned his chair back to me and laid his foot over my hand. “Can your little fingers play or not.” He was slowly putting more pressure on my fingers.
I had already decided that I was going to kill myself as soon as possible. It would be nice to play one last time. “Yes, I can.” I pulled my hand away.
“Then get up and go on stage and play something for Christmas.”
I slowly got up, pulling myself up on his chair. I could hardly see straight. I staggered upon the stage and sat down at the piano.
I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate. I laid my fingers on the keys. They played all by themselves. I played a Christmas song, a religious one.
My soul would be before my maker very soon. I hoped he wouldn’t hold my time here against me.
“Sing, Becca, sing,” Master ordered. That made everyone laugh.
My voice was trained. I’d had lessons most of my life, and I practiced daily, unless I was sick. That was until I came here. I sang along to what I played and that shut them up right away.
Master got up and walked over to me. He laid his terrible dirty hand on my shoulder. He whispered which song he wanted me to play this evening. I knew the song and played it. It was about a woman who cheated on her boyfriend and felt guilty about it. I sang it to the end. He sat down next to me and told me what he wanted this evening.
First, in that moment, did I realize that I was sitting on furniture. Was this my Christmas present? I really wanted food.
He left me and went back to his spot at the table. He ate and laughed with the others while I watched them eating and provided them with entertainment. They all pitched in and started to clean up together.
I got up
and went into the dressing room. I let myself fall to the floor. If he would leave me alone for couple of days, I could die in peace. The room was still spinning even though I was on the floor.
I woke up on my mattress. I was covered up with a blanket. A plate of food was on the floor next to my bed. I started to shove the food into my mouth. I kept telling myself to slow down, but I couldn’t. I quickly had the plate empty.
“That’s why you can’t eat at the table with us,” Master said disgusted with me.
What did I care? I got fed.
“It’s time to get ready now. Get up.” He always sounded so mad when he talked to me.
I got up sadly. I hoped the blanket would still be there later. I crawled alongside him down the stairs backwards as quick as I could but not quick enough. He smacked my bottom a couple of times before I was at his feet. He took me into the dressing room. I could hear that the club was already full.
Didn’t these people have families? It was Christmas for crying out loud.
Penny looked me over and then she looked over the dresses she had. She picked one out, and I stepped into it. It was a little loose on me. She pinned it up to make it look smaller. She sat me down and did my hair up in a very elegant bun. Penny had a couple of ringlets framing my face. She put some make up on me, and gave me a necklace and earrings.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked terrific.
Master nodded at her, and then he went to his guests to mingle.
“He liked how you look. He was trying to hide it so much that it was obvious. You should play your cards better. Make your life a little easier here. He can’t afford to part with you. So many people come here because they want to see you. They ask me if you will be in the show this evening. I already teased them telling them that you and Master are going to do something new tonight. They like it best when you perform with him.”
I didn’t know what to make of her words. I wasn’t the one in control. Master held all the cards. My life would never change. I had to take charge.
“Go on, it’s time.”
I went out and stood in the middle of the stage. The curtains opened, and I smiled at the crowd. The house was packed tonight. “Merry Christmas.” I gave a slight bow. Then I went over to the piano and sat down. For some reason I was nervous. My fingers did as they had been trained to do.
I started to sing as I looked across the stage. Todd, that ass, was standing there. I had my eyes on him as I sang and played. I felt Master’s presence behind me, but my eyes stayed on Todd who was the other man. The one I had supposedly been leaving Master for.
I sang it to the end, and then I walked around the bench and knelt down on it. Then I slipped my hands through the leather straps that were there, waiting for me. I held them tight in my fists, hoping for the support.
Master was the jealous boyfriend. He slowly lifted up the dress, uncovering my bottom. He removed his belt and belted me. Tears ran down my face, but still I looked at Todd. My eyes stayed on him even as Master brutally took me. After Master came, he pulled my head back to his chest and said that I belonged only to him.
The curtains closed, and Penny stepped forward. She looked to Master for permission to undress me again. He must have nodded at her because she unzipped it after she wiped off my bottom. She carefully hung up the dress, and then removed my hair pins.
She didn’t say anything, so I went upstairs to shower.
I went into the kitchen and got out the sharpest of the dull knives. I laid my wrist on the cutting board, and lined the knife up with my other hand. I pushed down and back towards me with as much effort as I could. The blood was already running out. I laid my other hand down to do the same with it.
“Becca, no! What are you doing?”
I made quick work of cutting the other wrist too. It didn’t go very deep. Master slapped me into darkness.
Rick came running into the room. “Is there a doctor here? We have an emergency upstairs.”
No one said anything. They all stared at his worried face, shocked.
“I’m in medical school. Maybe I can help out until a real doctor comes?” Stephanie stood and looked over at Collin for permission. Collin nodded and stood up too.
They followed a very nervous Rick up the stairs. He brought them into a tiny kitchen. “Here she is.”
Stephanie went right to her. “It’s Becky?” She looked back at Collin then to Rick. “I need, like a major first aid kit, really fast.” She tested Becky's pulse and shook her head.
Rick came back with a kit. Stephanie opened it, and then she got out several bandages. She grabbed her wrists and started doing what she could to stop the bleeding. “How long until the ambulance gets here?” she called out over her shoulder.
Stephanie couldn’t believe that the girl was naked and lying on a dirty mattress. Now that she could see her up close and in normal lighting she saw all the scars. Stephanie’s hands were shaking.
Collin watched off to the side. His fists kept clenching. He had to mentally concentrate on relaxing them, but they formed into fists seconds later.
He remembered Todd saying that Becca was being punished for running away. This was no game. She was really being held here against her will.
Rick knelt down next to Stephanie. “No ambulance is coming. Either you can help her, or not.”
“What? She has to go to the hospital, as quickly as possible. I thought she was your girlfriend? Do you want to just let her die?” Stephanie was shocked.
“Either help her or leave,” Rick whispered again, “but she stays here.”
Stephanie nodded and picked up the first aid kit again. She quickly put on plastic gloves and started sewing one wrist. She then picked up the other wrist. “This one is really deep. I’m not a real doctor. I don’t know what to do. Please, can we call for help?” She looked at Collin who pulled out his cell.
Rick jumped to his feet to stop him. He pulled him out in the hall. “If we call for an ambulance, I have to shut down the whole club. Police will be here everywhere. I can’t risk that. Either your little girlfriend can fix her up, or not.”
“If we don’t call, it’s murder.” Collin went back to his cell, shaking his head at Rick.
“Wait. If you don’t call, I’ll sell her like she wants. You heard her say so yourself. She is hardly bleeding. She will pull through. I’ll move her into a real room, whatever, just no doctor and no police.”
Collin could tell the man was desperate. He didn’t really understand what was going on here. However, he had heard Stephanie say that Becky would die if she didn’t go to the hospital.
Stephanie came out into the hallway. “I’m finished. She woke up. She’s crying because she isn’t dead.” Her hand came up to cover her mouth. She raced to the bathroom, and the two men could hear her throwing up.
Rick went to Becky. Collin could hear her crying louder when he got near her. She really must hate him. Poor kid, he thought. He went to Stephanie, who had her head hung over a toilet.
Collin sat down on the floor next to her, rubbing her back.
“Get me out of here. I want to go home. Now.”
“Of course.” Collin stood and helped Stephanie to her feet. Stephanie leaned on him as he led her out. All eyes were on them as they left through the club.
Stephanie was so upset by what she had just seen that she needed to hear herself thinking, so she talked aloud, as Collin drove her home. “I can’t – I can’t ever go back there again. I thought it was fake – But it wasn’t. She was so thin, like eating disorder thin. The way she looked at the chocolate yesterday. He probably beat her for eating it. Did you see the way he looked at her? She was always crying. It was all real. We watched a defenseless woman getting beaten. Stop the car. I have to throw up again.”
Collin pulled over and Stephanie jumped out. She threw up on the side of the road. Collin wrapped his arm around her, but she shrugged him off.
“I’m not into that kind of crap, and I can’t be with someone w
ho is,” Stephanie told him.
“Wait, I didn’t know it was like that either. We never have to go there again. I’m sorry, Stephanie. I don’t know what was going on there, but it wasn’t like that ever before. I think she is the only one there who doesn’t want to be.” Collin let everything go through his head. Becky was always so sad, but her performances had all been amazing.
Who would have guessed? Why hadn’t she said something?
“It’s over. Just drive me home or not. I could walk from here. That’s not a problem. It’s probably even better. Next thing you know, I’ll be in Becky’s position.”
“Stephanie, no. I would never do that to anyone.”
“Then why didn’t you call the police, or an ambulance? She could still die. She was so weak and so full of scars, like everywhere. The lighting in the club hid most of it, but she had bruises on top of bruises. Her life was worth nothing to him. If she had died, then he would have probably shrugged his shoulders and started digging a hole. I don’t want to have anything to do with people like that. Just leave me alone, Collin.” Stephanie was walking along the side of the road.
“Are you going to call the police?” Collin asked her.
“Will someone come after me if I do?” Stephanie turned to him and raised her arms in the air.
“I don’t know. Just don’t call.” Collin wasn’t sure himself anymore. He knew the police chief was always at the club too. They were even friends who sometimes sat together and talked.
“Great. Thanks for everything.” Stephanie walked on.
Collin watched her walking away. He cut his losses and got into his car.
Collin went back to the club. He wanted to talk to Rick. He wanted to know exactly what was going on.
“Where is Rick?” He asked the bartender.
He didn’t meet his eye. “I don’t know.”