But any delusion I had that I was in control quickly vanished when he scooped me up and threw me down on the bed. He ripped of his shirt and I gasped—mesmerized by his body. His shoulders were broad and perfectly sculpted. The scruff on his beard prickled my skin as he savagely kissed me, pressing his incredible body into mine. I could feel his hard cock against my thighs. I was desperate to feel him inside of me.
“You are so beautiful, Lo,” he said between kisses. His mouth made its way down to my neck and I arched my back. He pulled the strap of my slip down and blew kisses on chest. His tongue darted over my nipples and I moaned. I was already so turned on and we weren’t even naked yet.
For a second, I thought he was going to take it slow, but my sweet, patient man had vanished. He was replaced by an animal. A man that I never even imagined in my deepest fantasies. His lips made a tight seal around my nipple and his tongue flicked it. I never knew I could feel so good, so loved, so hot, so sexy. I writhed under him, desperate for more of him, more of his mouth, more of his soul. My arms wrapped around his back, pulling him into me, begging for relief.
His mouth gave my other nipple attention as his hand reached down to my thigh. He hiked up my slip, exposing my panties, and then kissed down between my thighs. Suddenly, my body tensed up and nerves took over my mind. What if my mom was right and men just wanted one thing? What if he fucked me and then fired me tomorrow? I rationally knew that he was a great guy and not possible of such betrayal and dishonesty, but my fear consumed me.
He was so in tune with me that he stopped and kissed my lips again and looked me in the eyes. “Relax, baby. I’m crazy about you. You’re beautiful. I’m not going anywhere.”
Whoa. His words soothed my anxiety. I refused to question him. Not today. Not now.
He pulled my tank top and pants off and stopped to stare at my body. I had always been self-conscious of being leered at by men, but I loved the way Beck’s eyes studied me.
“Perfect. Seriously, Loma, you are so sexy.”
He made his way back down to my panties and blew over the fabric before he pulled them down. His lips pressed against me and he licked down my center.
Ay! My hand grasped the top his head. His warm tongue felt delicious against my folds. I was so wet, and he ate me like I was his favorite dessert.
The pressure built between my legs as he licked my clit and I didn’t know if I could hold on. This felt so much better than I could’ve ever imagined. My belly coiled and my breath hitched.
“Oh Beck!”
Before I could hold myself back, pleasure rippled through every inch of my body and I exploded into ecstasy. I felt like I was going to black out but instead I giggled uncontrollably.
Beck gave me a final lick and then looked up at me and grinned.
I sat up and reached for his pants again, wanting to return the favor, but he stopped me.
“Hey, not tonight babe. We have the rest of our lives to be together.”
And with those words, a lump grew in my throat. This was truly happening. Beck had feelings for me. He saw a future.
Then why was I waiting for this to blow up in my face.
“Oh no! I forgot I had flan in the oven!”
I threw on my clothes and raced out of the bedroom, just in time to save my dessert. Beck joined me a few minutes later and we indulged in the creamy treat. And my life was as sweet as my flan.
Chapter Eighteen
Bacon and Eggs
Paloma snuck out of my bedroom at dawn, wanting to ensure that her sisters didn’t wake up and see her in my room. I had insisted that I would wake up with Sky, so Paloma could get a good night’s sleep.
She would need it. I planned to wear her out tonight.
When she and the girls woke the next morning, I had a surprise for them.
First things first—I was going to cook breakfast. Definitely wouldn’t be as delicious as Paloma’s food, but it would be filling. Perfect for a road trip.
I threw the bacon into the pan and started the coffee pot. My heart brimmed with excitement. No more telling Paloma how I felt. Today, I was going to show her that I was serious about having a future with her.
I walked over to the kitchen table to clear it and noticed that there was one of Mónica's papers from school crumbled up. I opened it up and my heart wrenched.
A Father Daughter Dance.
Paloma had told me that none of the girls knew their fathers and that she didn’t even have a clue who her dad was. I couldn’t even imagine that. My father was the best man I knew. Without his guidance, I was sure I’d be a womanizer like Sawyer.
When I had been with Paloma last night, it had been only about her. I wanted to be with her, hold her kiss her, make love to her, make her feel good. But now I realized that being with Paloma met so much more.
It wasn’t just about her. I needed to do right by her sisters.
The bacon sizzled in the pan and I flipped it over.
Paloma emerged from the room wearing a tank top with no bra and low-slung pajama bottoms—definitely less conservative that the fully dressed woman I was used to seeing in the mornings.
“Morning, sunshine.”
I walked over to her and gave her a kiss. A confused look graced her face.
“Are you cooking? Do you know what you are doing?”
Smartass. “I can feed myself, Loma. I did eat before you came into my life.” But honestly, the only thing I wanted to eat was her again. I wanted to devour her nightly. Last night, my balls were in a world of hurt. But I was a patient man and I wanted to wait until she felt more comfortable about dating me. To ensure her that I wasn’t using her.
Her eyes glanced over at my packed suitcase. “Are you going somewhere?”
I removed the bacon from the pan and patted it dry with some paper towels. Then I cracked some eggs to fry in grease.
“We are going somewhere.”
Her brow furrowed. “We? What are you talking about?”
“Babe, I’m taking you to San Diego. The girls too.”
She bit her lower lip. “Today?”
“Yes today. Tomorrow I have to fly over Coronado for a Navy SEAL graduation. We can stay at my buddy Grant’s place.”
“How are we getting there? We can’t all fit in your plane.”
“Right. The narrator on the squad is going to fly my plane to San Diego. It’s good practice for him. He will be taking over my slot next year. I’ll drive.”
Tears began to well in her eyes. “San Diego! Are you serious? Can we go to the beach?”
“Woman, we are staying on the beach. The base in the on beach.”
“Oh my god!” She ran over to me and threw her hands around my neck and kissed my lips. I pulled her into me and kissed her back, savoring her taste as I pressed her against the sink.
“Well well well, guys. Good morning to you,” Mónica said.
Paloma pushed me off of her, but I pulled her back into me.
“Morning, Mónica.”
Paloma's cheeks reddened, and she whispered in my ear. “I didn’t want her to know until we became serious.”
“Well, know she knows and we are serious. We have nothing to hide.”
Paloma exhaled and buried her head in my chest.
I turned to Mónica. “Mónica. Do you want to go to San Diego today?”
“You serious?”
“Yup. We are leaving in an hour.”
Mónica ran over to me and hugged me. “I can't believe it. Lo, can we drive around and see where we are going to live?”
Paloma and I made eye contact and her face seemed to fall at the same time that my heart dropped.
San Diego.
Where they had planned to move after I left El Centro. It was only a month away, but it seemed like an eternity.
It was too soon to ask her to move with me to Florida, but I couldn’t imagine my life without Paloma. Without her sisters. And it wasn’t even about me and how I felt about her. What about Sky? Paloma spent mor
e time with her than I did, though that wasn’t by choice. We were deep into our training schedule now and I couldn’t imagine having anyone else take care of Sky. I no longer worried about Sky when I was out flying. I completely focused on my men and my formations knowing that Sky was being loved and attended to. I would either have to hire another nanny back in Florida or ask my in laws to watch her. For the next nine months, I would be traveling every week around the country to different air shows. And then she needed someone to love her when I would deploy next year. Sky needed stability. And I needed someone to miss me while I was gone.
But I had a month. One month to ease into this conversation. One month to make decisions.
“I’m sure Beck will show us around. I’m going to wake up Sky.” Paloma left the kitchen.
I turned my attention back to the eggs and plated the food. Ana María walked out in her favorite Dora the Explorer nightgown.
Mónica ran over to her. “Ana María! We’re going to San Diego.”
“Today?”
“Yes. Today!”
Ana María clasped her hands together and turned to me. “Can we see the baby tigers?”
The tigers. They had been all over the news. A baby tiger had been caught at the border and the Zoo Safari Park had rescued it.
“Sure. We will go to the Zoo Safari Park and the beach.”
Mónica ran down the hallway almost plowing over Paloma and Sky.
"Mónica, Beck said we can go to the beach and the Wild Animal Park. Can you believe it?”
Paloma looked up at me and her confused expression from earlier turned into a hopeful smile. “Yes. I can.”
And this time, Paloma kissed me. In front of Mónica. In front of Ana María. In front of Sky. I kissed her back.
We had nothing to hide.
Chapter Nineteen
Fish Tacos
We packed our bags, loaded up Beck’s car, and headed off for our trip to San Diego. Nerves and excitement mingled inside my belly. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Beck and I had hooked up again and now I was on my way to see the ocean for the first time in my life.
He reached across and put his hand on my thigh and I melted. I loved being in the car with him. I felt so safe. Maybe it was because he was a pilot, but I loved the way he was completely in control. I couldn’t wait to see him fly tomorrow.
After two hours on the road, we finally arrived in San Diego.
Our first stop was the Zoo Safari Park to see the tigers. It was inland, so I had still yet to see the ocean, but I was thrilled nonetheless. Beck bought us all tickets. He held my hand as we walked into the park. I had never seen anything like it this place.
First, we stepped into the butterfly garden. They flew by our heads as we marveled at their vibrant colors. Their jeweled colors mixed together like an abstract painting by nature.
“Paloma! Look!” Mónica yelled.
A gorgeous Monarch had landed on Ana María’s nose.
Ana María giggled, and I had never seen her so happy, so full of joy. I held Sky and pointed out the different butterflies to her, naming the colors in Spanish. She clapped her little hands and Beck put his arm around me.
Mónica’s face beamed. “This place is awesome.” Even she was having fun.
We walked over to the Lorikeet Landing and bought some nectar.
A gorgeous bird with a lapis colored head and orange, yellow and green feathers landed on Mónica’s hand and lapped up the nectar out of her little cup.
Joy filled my body and for once my outlook for the future was as bright as the San Diego sun. The girls and I had never ever been to a zoo. I had learned about animals from books, not from nature. We had so much to experience.
Our final stop at the Zoo Safari Park was to see the tigers. Two baby tigers frolicked together like kittens, fighting over a ball of yarn. I couldn’t believe I was seeing these wild animals up close.
I pressed my hand to Beck’s chest and we kissed under a bamboo canopy. “Thank you. You don’t know what this means to me.”
“You’re welcome, babe. I just want to make you and the girls happy.”
Swoon. I didn’t want this day to end.
After we left the zoo, we stopped for dinner at this incredible taco place, ¡Salud!, in Barrio Logan. I was impressed that Beck knew about this restaurant, with its authentic Mexican food, handmade tortillas, and churro ice cream. The Mexican murals on the wall made me feel like I was home.
I took a bite of the fish taco. It was beer battered on a warm tortilla and adorned with cabbage, cotija cheese, pico de gallo, and dressed with a creamy sauce. “This is so good! How did you find this place?”
He paused for a moment and took a sip of his blood orange beer. “My wife and I used to come here. She loved Mexican food.”
I smiled, and it wasn’t even forced. I loved that Beck could be open with me about Catherine, especially now that he and I were romantically involved. I didn’t ever want him to feel that he couldn’t talk about her, especially in front of Sky. If it worked out between us, the ghost of Catherine would always be present in our home. But I wasn’t jealous of her. If it wasn’t for her, I would’ve never met Beck. I hoped that she would want Beck to find happiness and for Sky to have a mother. And I prayed even harder that I would be the woman for that job.
After our amazing lunch Beck drove us across the Coronado Bridge. The view of the ocean was breathtaking. It was even bluer than I imagined, and the boats and naval carriers docked in it added to its beauty.
Beck parked near the ferry landing and my sisters and I ran to the shore and dipped our toes into the sand. I felt like such a dork but for a small-town sheltered girl like me, the warmth of the sand, the cool breeze blowing on my face, and the chill of the ocean meant the world to me. I wanted to live in this moment forever.
Beck strapped Sky on his chest and took my hand. “What do you think? Is it everything you thought it would be?”
“Yes, it is. And more. I can’t believe I’m here, with my sisters, with you, with Sky.” Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m just so happy.”
He placed his arm on the back of my head and kissed me passionately. “I want to make you happy. Before I met you, the only reason I wanted to live was for Sky and for my job. I had become so angry, so bitter about losing Catherine. But seeing the world through your eyes, has completely changed me. I need you, Lo, and you need me too.”
I didn’t get a chance to respond before the girls joined us and we began to build sand castles. Ana María giggled and Mónica was checking out the boys on the beach.
Life couldn’t get better than today.
Chapter Twenty
Energy Bar
The next morning, I woke up early and headed to the Naval Air Station North Island to prepare for the flyover. It was an easy Delta formation—all six planes would fly in a tight triangle over the Change of Command ceremony for the Commander of the Naval Air Forces. It was good practice—our first air show was two months away.
I had only two months left with Paloma.
We spent last night at my buddy Grant’s place. Grant was a Navy SEAL. I had deployed with his Team once and supported them in a combat mission. Though they were on the ground doing the dirty work, my life had also been at risk. Our planes could be shot down at any time. What if I died overseas on my next deployment and orphaned Sky?
I pushed that thought out of my head. I quickly snacked on an energy bar to give me the fuel I needed to fly.
Sawyer and Declan greeted me with fist pumps. Charlie, on the other hand, gave me a curt nod. We had not really talked since I’d punched him. Which was fine by me.
Sawyer addled up beside me. “What are you doing tonight? Do you want to hit the clubs downtown?”
I shook my head. “Going to dinner with Paloma. Don’t you get tired of that scene? A different woman every night?”
Declan’s eyes bulged. “Seriously? Are you guys together?”
I nodded. “Yup. It’s new, but
I’m crazy about her.”
Declan placed his arm on my shoulder. “Congrats, man. She’s beautiful. As long as you’re happy.”
I appreciated Declan’s support. He was a great guy. I hoped he found someone to help him get over his ex.
Even Sawyer seemed happy for me. “Me too, Beck. She seems sweet.”
“She is.” Now that I had told three of my fellow pilots about Paloma I was tempted to tell the world. Shout it from the roof tops.
There was only one person I dreaded telling.
My mother.
We were not close by any stretch of the imagination. Even so, I always craved her approval. She had loved Catherine. And Paloma was so different from my wife. All my mom cared about was her image and status. She loved to boast to people that she had a Blue Angel as a son. And I highly doubted she would embrace the nanny with open arms.
But I wouldn’t live my life to make my mom happy. I wanted to be happy. I wanted Sky to be happy. And that was all that mattered.
My fellow pilots and I proceeded to walk in unison to our planes. The crowds cheered but it was nothing like the roar of the normal air shows. I had asked Grant to take Paloma and the girls to the beach to watch me fly. Knowing that she would see me soar, filled me with pride.
Our planes took off and adrenaline consumed me. I focused on the paint on Sawyer's jet, making sure I was perfectly aligned and in formation. We soared in the air and took a right turn toward the Naval Base Coronado. A quick flyby over the ceremony and then we headed west toward the ocean before landing back at North Island. Piece of cake. All in another day’s work.
When I disembarked from my plane, I marveled at how beautiful San Diego was. I had so much fun yesterday at the zoo. San Diego would be the perfect place to raise Sky and enjoy all the attractions here. We could take her to Balboa Park, Legoland, all the beaches, all the gardens, and the weather would always be perfect.
And Paloma would be here.
The more I thought about it the more I was certain I was going to put in my orders for San Diego.
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